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Are you easily offended?

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    #32
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    weemcd wrote: »
    This is the thing, people LOVE being offended these days. If you get all offended people might have sympathy for you etc. etc

    Stephen Fry said it best in a quote i can't dig up atm (on mobile) about people that think being offended gets them some extra rights or adds weight to their opinion/argument. It's part and parcel of our compensation culture, nobody gets told to catch themselves on and harden the **** up anymore for fear they might get upset.


    I have no idea why people quote comedians so often to back up their point...

    In fairness, wtf do they know?


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    #33
    bacon n eggs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭bacon n eggs


    Daughter


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    #34
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Hownowcow wrote: »
    I've come across some people, who it appears to me, get offended, even about the simplest of things, merely because someone doesn't agree with them.

    Me, I'm not arsed about much.


    What IS offended though? If someone comes on here slagging Muslims and calling them all blood-thirsty murderers who are destroying Europe, I don't feel "offended". My feelings aren't hurt but those ideas annoy me. I don't think annoyance is the same as being offended.


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    #35
    marnie d
    Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭marnie d


    No I wouldn't say that I am offended easily, but it depends on who it's coming from, and what tone and context it's said.
    I can take a slagging and give back as good as I get, as long as it's all lighthearted, but if someone is deliberately hateful for no real reason I will feel hurt.


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    #36
    bacon n eggs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭bacon n eggs


    I have often seen something that started out as slagging turn ugly.


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    #37
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    I don't offend easily. I used to get called ugly a lot when I was younger and people generally didn't like me because I was extremely awkward and with zero social skills, so I developed strong defense mechanisms*. And unless someone is just pure evil, it's easier all around to shrug off most offenses (perceived or real) as dealing with them is more trouble than it's worth.



    I avoid eye contact and don't speak unless I am spoken to on the rare occasions I venture out in the big, scary world.


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    #38
    Dfmnoc
    Registered Users Posts: 183 ✭✭Dfmnoc


    I find its the attention seekers who get offended the easiest.


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    #39
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Dfmnoc wrote: »
    I find its the attention seekers who get offended the easiest.

    What did you just call me?!

    :p


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    #40
    NothingMan
    Registered Users Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    I have no idea why people quote comedians so often to back up their point...

    In fairness, wtf do they know?


    Why do their oppinions or observations count less than say a politician? Are all politicians quotes more valid because of their profession? Stephen Fry is a very intelligent and highly regarded man on many subjects and a lot of comedians would be similarly itelligent and informed as they use current events in their material and are able to express themselves in a poigniant and witty manner therefore lending themselves to some great quotes.

    I've be more inclined to trust a qoute from Stephen fry, George Carlin or Bill Hicks than almost any politician, journalist or biographer that I can think of.


    ....No offence :P


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    #41
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    Cody Pomeray wrote: »
    I've always thought most people enjoyed a bit of an argument from time to time. But I find that sometimes when you put arguments to a classmate/ work colleague, they can end up taking these arguments really personally. I can't understand why this is the case, obviously the argument is intended to oppose a stated opinion, not an individual's character.

    I recently had an argument about the most trivial thing in the world, the "27 year old club", which I think is nothing more than a confirmation bias.

    To my suprise, the person with whom I was arguing has taken the whole thing very personally, and colleagues have suggested I should think about apologizing to smoothe things over.
    That's fine by me, my work relationships mean a lot more to me than the 27 year old club, I just can't understand why the person in question took the thing so personally. So my question to AH users is this...

    Do you get offended easily? Do you take non-personal arguments personally? Why get offended about arguments that are directed at a specific point, and not your own character?

    Discuss.
    I think that certain people's instinct is to get defensive when they lose an argument, or they get caught in a lie, or their cognitive dissonance is highlighted. Your example is probably just a manifestation of this.

    If they're not used to having their beliefs or opinions cross-examined (or challenged in a logical manner), then they don't know how to deal with it.

    This is one of the good things about message boards, you get challenged regularly, and then have the luxury of being able to revise your position on the sly, without having to pay the social cost of admitting defeat or recanting in front of your peers :)


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    #42
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,826 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    I'm usually the one doing the offending. Everything is fair game to me, and people who know me know to expect it. Unless it's a direct personal insult, there's no reason to get offended. And anyone that does is just unable to put rational thought above feelings.


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    #43
    Spurtacus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 27 ✭Spurtacus


    I would rarely get offended so most words just wash over me.
    Problem is if you work or associate with someone who is over-sensitive & highly strung where a bit of work banter sees them out for a week because of the stress of being called fat or lazy as part of a joke.
    Some people shouldn't go outside their front door if they can't take a joke.


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    #44
    weemcd
    Registered Users Posts: 6,416 ✭✭✭weemcd


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    I have no idea why people quote comedians so often to back up their point...

    In fairness, wtf do they know?

    I paraphrased what Fry said, it wasn't a direct quote. I picked that because it was relevant? It could be Carl Sagan tomorrow and Ali next week. The source is not important as long as I respect the person quoted and it's relevant.


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    #45
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    NothingMan wrote: »
    Why do their oppinions or observations count less than say a politician? Are all politicians quotes more valid because of their profession? Stephen Fry is a very intelligent and highly regarded man on many subjects and a lot of comedians would be similarly itelligent and informed as they use current events in their material and are able to express themselves in a poigniant and witty manner therefore lending themselves to some great quotes.

    I've be more inclined to trust a qoute from Stephen fry, George Carlin or Bill Hicks than almost any politician, journalist or biographer that I can think of.


    ....No offence :P


    Jesus that's so offensive. You offended me.


    No, their opinions count like anyone else's (probably more than a politicians, actually but who quotes politicians and believes a word that comes out of any of their mouths?) but they don't count any more just cos they're comedians. That's my point. I'm not just talking about Stephen Fry (who, I agree, is an intelligent man) but anytime some discussion comes up, Bill Hicks is quoted (that clip about Marketeers), Stewart Lee is quoted with his PC thingy (if I see that video one more time on here, I'll gouge my eyes out...and yours!), George Carlin is quoted (who, I have to admit, speaks a lot of sense), that other fella whose name I can't think of now is quoted (he's black, American and popular in Britain). It seems a very lazy way to argue a point. If a stand-up comedian said it, then it must be true! It's getting a bit old.



    And no, I don't find it offensive, just annoying.


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    #46
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    weemcd wrote: »
    I paraphrased what Fry said, it wasn't a direct quote. I picked that because it was relevant? It could be Carl Sagan tomorrow and Ali next week. The source is not important as long as I respect the person quoted and it's relevant.


    Okay. Not giving you a hard time but I suppose I'm fed up with comedians generally being used as a source of wisdom.


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    #47
    NothingMan
    Registered Users Posts: 11,178 ✭✭✭✭NothingMan


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    Okay. Not giving you a hard time but I suppose I'm fed up with comedians generally being used as a source of wisdom.


    But it's not because they're comedians, it's because they're respected peers who have a proven knowledge and apt observation on the subject.
    I personally don't have an active interest in politics so wouldn't know who does or doesn't know what they're talking about but I know these comedians and they talk sense.

    Now if it was a different comedian like Franky Boyle who is funny but not necessarily someone you should take advice of, I'd be more wary to trust a qoute but the ones we've mentioned are consistently quoted for a reason. Maybe in the future people will quote them like Aristotle or Shakespear and they will be regarded universally.


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    #48
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Plus comedians have a natural ability to talk at the level of their audience. They phrase things differently to other people - get ideas across in ways that are accessible and understandable - and so quite often an idea of fact that might otherwise have escaped you can sink in when coming from a comedian.

    In an interview Eddie Izzard said he has a goal to spend the next 10 years (give or take) studying European history and law closely. He then intends to run in politics. I look forward to that day. His immense intellectual capabilities coupled with the natural people and ambassadorial skills that are inherent in being a comedian will likely come together and produce a force to be reckoned with in political circles. I can not wait to see what he achieves.


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    #49
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Fair enough. I see your point. I suppose the overuse of the same 3 bleedin' videos in AH is wreaking my head but yeah, I see what you're saying.

    Edit: It's actually an interesting discussion in itself: the role comedians play as social and political commentators in society.


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    #50
    johnny_knoxvile
    Registered Users Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭johnny_knoxvile


    AH is full of easily offended people...i have been banned and infracted for jokes and off the cuff remarks several times...

    as was poor old Fink Goddie who got a life time ban.

    So much for the famous Irish humour.


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    #51
    lahalane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    It's very rare that I would get offended and when I do, I won't react because there's usually no point. I won't become un-offended.

    Some people are very easily offended though. Because I'm such a bastard, I do like to try to offend them for my own amusement when I'm bored...but only if I think they deserve it.


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    #52
    Gbear
    Registered Users Posts: 12,775 ✭✭✭✭Gbear


    NothingMan wrote: »
    But it's not because they're comedians, it's because they're respected peers who have a proven knowledge and apt observation on the subject.

    I think more to the point is whether the quote stands on it's own merits or not.

    Who said it isn't really that important (although people tend to shy away from quoting despots, murderers and the likes).
    You like the way they've phrased it and the only reason you're telling everyone it was a certain comedian is because plagiarism is bad form.

    It just so happens that certain people tend to be good quote generators.


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    #53
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    When someone disagrees with me in an agreeable way I'm not likely to get upset about it at all. But when people stoop to implying or outright stating things about me in a discussion - really now an argument thanks to their tactics - I will get upset (not offended). It is strange to watch adults identify with their positions so strongly that they get livid as soon as someone makes a counterpoint to them. Fragile egos indeed.

    On the matter of quoting comedians it can be annoying at times because it seems like argument from authority - Stephen Fry said it so it must be true. However, there are times when an extremely articulate argument made by someone else, comedian or otherwise, is worth quoting verbatim due to the power of the words. But as with anything the effectiveness of these quotes blunts from overuse.


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    #54
    FamousSeamus
    Registered Users Posts: 126 ✭✭FamousSeamus


    Am I easily offended? How dare you ask such a question of course I'm not, I'm offended you didn't know that and had to ask that (slams door on way out)

    On a serious note though I'm not offended by debates in fact I do love a heated debate as I find its the best way to get alternative view points, see something from the other side and to know how people really feel, however its important to note that I like to finish on a nice note of common ground then just have a laugh, if you can't do that then I generally don't debate with them again!! accidentally


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    #55
    flutterflye
    Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    I'm forever offending people. I never realise I'm doing it - Same as others have said - I just say what's in my head. I don't have the slightest idea how to be tactful, and I really don't even see the point in it tbh. When I say things sometimes there's this really awkward silence in the room while people all try to figure out if I actually just said what they think I said! Comes with the ADD I guess. But if ever I do upset someone unintentionally,I do always try and understand what it is about what I said that was 'bad', and how could I say it a different way so as not to offend them in future. Most of the time I honestly cannot understand how what I've said is 'wrong' at all, especially if I could apparently say the exact same thing, just rephrase it a bit, and then it's suddenly 'okay'!

    Don't think I get offended easily. I can get annoyed by some opinions of course, and I can get quite into debating points, but I wouldn't usually become offended. Especially when no one has attacked me, only my opinions. I am not my opinions.


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    #56
    IM0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    some people dont understand "for the sake of arguement/debate" and see every someone says as THEIR personal opinion about something. but its not its just an opposing view point to carry on conversations :rolleyes:


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    #57
    castletownman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,053 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    I think society as a whole are far more easily offended today.

    I mean you just have to look at one remark on Twitter or Facebook that could be construed as offensive, and see it transform into a malestrom of legal red-tape, arrests and public outcry.


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    #58
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Generally not in the slightest, but living in Canada has seriously skewed my sense of what should and shouldn't be offensive. They don't slag over here as a means of affection or swear incessantly like Irish people.

    Sarcasm detector is also dead and buried.


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    #59
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    castletownman wrote: »
    I think society as a whole are far more easily offended today.

    I agree.

    Society is very safe compared to other periods in our history. There are no roving bands of outlaws in Ireland anymore. People stop at traffic lights and obey laws.

    Society may be civilised now, but it's not polite.

    People will speak rudely to strangers, safe in the knowledge that they are not very likely to get murdered where they stand, or beaten within an inch of their life.

    To use what may seem an extreme quote from Robert Heinlein: "Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life".

    I think that it works both ways, these days. People are more willing to be offensive, and other people are more willing act all offended, with both behaviours probably based on mutual lack of respect.


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    #60
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Anyone (watch the amount of people get offended by this generalisation and feel the need to pull me up on it) who proclaims "Ohh I'm not easily offended" are lying. They are THE first, AND the easiest, to take offence, especially when their intellect is questioned, because they hold their own opinions and their opinion of themselves in such high regard that they feel they are infallible and beyond reproach.

    Stephen Fry is only a well educated gobshìte with a lofty demeanour. In truth he knows fannyadams that any of us here couldn't have educated ourselves about, he hasn't had an original thought, well, I don't think he's ever had an original thought actually, and that oft trotted out quote referring to the word offensive is merely a parroted platitude intended to appeal to same self ascribed "intellectuals". His soundbite statement is the height of ignorance and is just an excuse he gives other faux intellectuals to vent their ignorance caused by their misplaced arrogance.

    If these people were actually intelligent, they wouldn't need to be regurgitating anyone else's opinion, they'd be able to form an opinion of their own, based on an original thought of their own.

    Even the demi-god Fry that these faux intellectuals so often quote, isn't averse to taking offence and getting downright belligerent about it when he is pulled up on his misinformed waffling-


    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/03/25/stephen_fry_not_upset_you_twat/


    That's what happens when you depend on the opinions of others to form your opinions without bothering to form an original opinion of your own based on an original thought of your own.


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    #61
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    I don't get offended by un-PC jokes.

    But I do get píssed off with ignorance, and stupidity, and genuine racism/sexism/homophobia etc. It's not so much as being offended as generally facepalming thinking how on earth can people be so stupid.

    Also, while I think gay jokes or racist jokes or whatever, can be hilarious, I HATE that quote from Stephen Fry. So overused on this website. I love Stephen Fry but you can be sure as hell he wouldn't be too pleased if there was a book burning or a anti-gay protest down the streets of London. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Fry, thought you didn't have the right to be offended at this"


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