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How would you feel if your child was gay?

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    #32
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Honestly, I wouldn't see being gay as any big deal.

    It's a cliche, but as long as they were happy, I'd be happy. Being a heterosexual is no guarantee of either happiness or having grandkids.

    I love my kids for who they are, not who they sleep with.


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    #33
    willmunny1990
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,432 ✭✭✭willmunny1990


    JaxxYChicK wrote: »
    Yes it is reality. And in reality people are discriminated against and bullied for a very wide variety of different things. One of your responsibilities as a parent is to support your child through these experiences.

    Yes discrimination and bullying is something pretty much everyone has to deal with in life. But, if you are gay, you are bound to experience these issues to a much greater extent.
    mackg wrote: »
    If you had a straight daughter and she couldn't conceive and then decided to adopt would you feel the same way?

    Honestly, yes. I just wouldn't view it as the same. But as I said, it would be better than not being a grandfather at all. And maybe in time I could love the child as if it was my own grandchild, I certainly would hope so and wouldn't rule out that possibility.


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    #34
    woodoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    I think you've got it the wrong way around.. species don't exist solely to propagate, though they do exist because they propagate.

    Read The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.


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    #35
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    humbert wrote: »
    I've never been bullied for being white or pale...

    Because other parts of the world don't exist where white people aren't in the majority?

    orourkeda wrote: »
    Kids will get bullied for anything. This is absolutely true. Would the child of a gay couple be subjected to a more virulent of verbal abuse as a result? This question cannot be easy to answer

    I wasn't.


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    #36
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    willmunny1990 wrote: »
    I just wouldn't view it as the same. But as I said, it would be better than not being a grandfather at all. And maybe in time I could love the child as if it was my own grandchild


    Fucking hell. Of all the things to worry about.

    The sheer vanity of it is astounding.


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    #37
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,919 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Sonics2k wrote: »
    Because other parts of the world don't exist where white people aren't in the majority?




    I wasn't.

    Are others?


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    #38
    geetar
    Registered Users Posts: 469 ✭✭geetar


    people who say they would be dissapointed should be ashamed of themselves.


    if your son or daughter was ugly or fat would you be dissapointed because they would get bullied?


    if you son our daughter was infertile and couldnt give you grandchildren would you be dissapointed?


    think about what youre saying before people lose respect for you. id have no problem having a gay son or daughter and i mean that sincerely. why should i have any interest or right to feel disspointed in the sexual preference of my children? gay people can adopt, and id love that child just as if it were my biological grandchild.

    youd have to be some sort of selfish twat to give a toss tbh.


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    #39
    mackg
    Registered Users Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭mackg


    Do you have a child at the moment OP?


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    #40
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Honestly dont care as long as they're good craic and not assholes.

    Also. Gay folks aint infertile.


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    #41
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    orourkeda wrote: »
    Are others?

    Of course they can be.

    But I also remember a boy in my class getting bullied a lot more than me because his father had walked out on his mother, and she was an alcoholic.

    Like I said, bullying happens.

    But children learn discrimination from their parents (for the most part), and if you teach them to be homophobic then they will actively start to bully the children of gay parents.

    Honestly, this whole thread screams of things like "I'm not racist... but"


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    #42
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    woodoo wrote: »
    Read The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.

    I've read it - it's a theory / philosophy that I don't necessarily agree with, though he does make some good arguments.

    I also find Richard Dawkins really annoying - if ever there was a need to invent the term "evangelistic atheist", he'd be it.


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    #43
    Killer Pigeon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Killer Pigeon


    willmunny1990 wrote: »
    Personally, and I'm slightly ashamed to say this, but I'd be very disappointed.

    I have no problem with gay people, I know a few and get on with them just fine. But, I would be devastated if I found out my child was gay. It would be an unmitigated disaster in my view.

    Why? First of all for selfish reasons. I would love to be a grandfather one day and would find it hard to accept of being deprived that aspiration.

    Secondly, I think gay people are unfortunately still heavily discriminated against in life. Especially when they are younger and in School. And it is not my wish to have my son go through hardships like this.

    So, how would you feel if your child was gay?

    You're not guaranteed grandchildren either way.

    If your child is straight, it doesn't mean he/she is definitely going to have kids. Also, if your child is gay, it doesn't mean that he/she is definitely not going to have kids.


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    #44
    humbert
    Registered Users Posts: 5,238 ✭✭✭humbert


    Sonics2k wrote: »
    Because other parts of the world don't exist where white people aren't in the majority?

    Firstly we're in Ireland and secondly when I've been in non-caucasian countries being white was even more desirable.


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    #45
    Alopex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Alopex


    geetar wrote: »
    people who say they would be dissapointed should be ashamed of themselves.


    if your son or daughter was ugly or fat would you be dissapointed because they would get bullied?

    Fat, yes.

    if you son our daughter was infertile and couldnt give you grandchildren would you be dissapointed?

    yes, if you wanted grandchildren, of course you'd be disappointed.


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    #46
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Bullying is going to happen to a kid if they're any way different to the clique, doesn't matter what their preference is.

    I'd be more disappointed in my kid if I found out they were a bully themselves.


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    #47
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    humbert wrote: »
    Firstly we're in Ireland and secondly when I've been in non-caucasian countries being white was even more desirable.

    You should visit South Africa if you're looking for a bit of pale face discrimination action.


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    #48
    thisiswar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭thisiswar


    Once they were happy, healthy and weren't hurting others that's all I can ask for. If being gay made them happy so be it, as long as they're happy.


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    #49
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    humbert wrote: »
    Firstly we're in Ireland and secondly when I've been in non-caucasian countries being white was even more desirable.

    Country is irrelevant to the thread, but my point still stands. If you don't believe me, feel free to look up bullying cases in places like Marrickville in Sydney, where I lived for a few years. I can tell you first hand a lot of white kids got bullied there for being white. Hell, it even happens in parts of Asia.

    My main point is this, kids can and will be bullied for a whole variety of things .


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    #50
    mackg
    Registered Users Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭mackg


    humbert wrote: »
    Firstly we're in Ireland and secondly when I've been in non-caucasian countries being white was even more desirable.

    Buy a farm out in Zimbabwe.


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    #51
    ascanbe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭ascanbe


    Think i could handle anything other than hearing that my putative son is heterosexual.


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    #52
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    What is with this overwhelming desire people have to have grandchildren? Just because someone is gay it doesn't mean they can't have children. And even if they decide not to (as can your straight children, by the way) then so bloody what? Get over it!


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    #53
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    thisiswar wrote: »
    If being gay made them happy so be it, as long as they're happy.


    Dad.. "Are you happy being gay?"

    Son.. "Not really dad.. I mean, I like guys and all but I get teased at school about it".

    Dad.. "Hmm, maybe you should try being straight for a bit.. see if that makes you happier"

    :D


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    #54
    Spread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Spread


    woodoo wrote: »
    Read The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.

    Yes, it was the first Dawkins book that I read ......... probably 30 years ago. Have been a devotee ever since.


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    #55
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    I'd absolutely prefer if my son or daughter was straight and if I had control over it I would choose for them to be straight.

    If they were gay, well tough break for them but I'd be as much of a loving father to them as I would be if they were straight, obviously.


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    #56
    ascanbe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭ascanbe


    mackg wrote: »
    Buy a farm out in Zimbabwe.

    Don't know if they'd have a problem with someone buying a farm, to be honest.
    It was the whole 'stealing the land' bit that, understandably, didn't go down too well.


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    #57
    Locker10a
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,151 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    All the arguments and points people are making are quite revalent ! And the exact same things were said in the 1950's about single mothers, one parent familys, chrildren born outside wedlock! etc and look where we are today! People look on children born out side wedlock no different to anyone else! Years ago this was not the case!
    My point is society changes, and i belive in 50 years gay parents will be a non-issue!


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    #58
    humbert
    Registered Users Posts: 5,238 ✭✭✭humbert


    Actually while looking up property prices in Zimbabwe it occurred to me that I would probably be a little worried if my son/daughter decided they were gay while in their teens.

    People are incapable of making well balanced decisions at that age but I'd imagine it would be difficult after telling everyone you know that you were gay at 18 to turn around at 21 and say it was just a fad.


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    #59
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    strobe wrote: »
    If they were gay, well tough break for them but I'd be as much of a loving father to them as I would be if they were straight, obviously.

    I get your point, but I think the whole "tough break" and bullying aspect of gay kids is extremely exaggerated - most gay people have the same chance of being bullied as the next person.

    There was a gay kid in my class in school & no-one ever picked on him.. a bit of teasing, but no more than anyone else. The bloke that really got stick from the class was a smelly dude with no eyebrows.


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    #60
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    mackg wrote: »
    I saw a lad with an earring the other day
    0_o

    You jest, sir, I presume?!

    These days you're damn lucky if it's only their ears they have lumps of metal hanging out of!! :pac:


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    #61
    ascanbe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭ascanbe


    humbert wrote: »
    Actually while looking up property prices in Zimbabwe it occurred to me that I would probably be a little worried if my son/daughter decided they were gay while in their teens.

    People are incapable of making well balanced decisions at that age but I'd imagine it would be difficult after telling everyone you know that you were gay at 18 to turn around at 21 and say it was just a fad.

    Ye, wha, Gay?


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