Why do people "read" in the toilet?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 22-03-2009 6:06pm #1

Always wondered and flut's inspired me to ask.

It's cold, it smells and there's no telly to take your mind off the difficult bits.

Answers, please?

Reading, as in not just "looking at the pictures....

pow wow · 22-03-2009 6:07pm

We can't all be quick sh!tters.

Berty · 22-03-2009 6:07pm

I take it you have no children.

Dudess · 22-03-2009 6:08pm

It's kind of a "men behaving badly", laddish thing to do - the sort of thing those mockney guys would have espoused in the late 90s (think Jamie Oliver).

Captain-America · 22-03-2009 6:08pm

Because there's nothing better to do in there.

Lilyblue · 22-03-2009 6:10pm

My hubby doesn't take the paper in he takes his PSP with him!

aidan_walsh · 22-03-2009 6:10pm

Jamie Oliver ****ting. Now there is a lovely image to be stuck with this dinner time...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 22-03-2009 6:12pm

Dudess wrote: »

It's kind of a "men behaving badly", laddish thing to do - the sort of thing those mockney guys would have espoused in the late 90s (think Jamie Oliver).

If I want to behave badly, I'll **** in the sink, thank you very much!

Thomas_S_Hunterson · 22-03-2009 6:16pm

Smell's never an issue cus my **** don't stink.

FlutterinBantam · 22-03-2009 6:19pm

I like a good read of the Financial Times, as currently the shares are falling so fast, it give the occupant a good reason to blow out the pipes with gusto, happy in the knowledge that not only the shares are tanking, but they are being followed by a good ripe shíte, which, strangely enough it a crumb of comfort for someone watching his assets slip into negativity.

Kinda like a two fingers to them.

That's only me though, others might not appreciate the connection.

Sofaspud · 22-03-2009 6:20pm

We've all brought in the laptop at some stage!

Something to do between heaves . . .

WoollyRedHat · 22-03-2009 6:21pm

Captain-America wrote: »

Because there's nothing better to do in there.

I can think of one thing off the top of my head.

ntlbell · 22-03-2009 6:22pm

boards mostly.

Captain-America · 22-03-2009 6:23pm

I find myself reading the back of shampoo bottles alot.

Captain-America · 22-03-2009 6:23pm

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

I can think of one thing off the top of my head.

**** while ****ting? Interesting.

abouttobebanned · 22-03-2009 6:27pm

Blumpkin

GBX · 22-03-2009 6:28pm

Peace and quiet ... no distractions. Ive often read chapters in there. As the OP says... the smell is never an issue. Unless somebody has been in before you.

AlmightyCushion · 22-03-2009 6:30pm

meanie boots wrote: »

We can't all be quick sh!tters.

Yes we can. You just aren't trying.

*swallows bucketfull of laxatives*

Yes 0.4 of a second. A new record.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 22-03-2009 7:30pm

Sofaspud wrote: »

We've all brought in the laptop at some stage!

Something to do between heaves . . .

Eh, no... we haven't...

Granny Lover · 22-03-2009 7:32pm

because it gets boring i tend to listen to the music on my phone instead LOL

javaboy · 22-03-2009 7:35pm

Lilyblue wrote: »

My hubby doesn't take the paper in he takes his PSP with him!

Immediately after he comes out, ask him can you look at the history of his Psp's internet browser. If you have wireless in your house I can nearly guarantee you he's in there desecrating the sanctity of his own body.

Granny Lover · 22-03-2009 7:37pm

javaboy wrote: »

Immediately after he comes out, ask him can you look at the history of his Psp's internet browser. If you have wireless in your house I can nearly guarantee you he's in there desecrating the sanctity of his own body.

good idea all i need now is a psp :pac:

ChewChew · 22-03-2009 7:42pm

Yeah this is something that I never understood. My aunt was home from the UK and she was stayin my house for the week and there was always magazines left in the bathroom. on the bin, beside the loo. I just don't get it!

Sofaspud · 22-03-2009 7:42pm

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Eh, no... we haven't...

You haven't lived!

*heaves*

fryup · 22-03-2009 7:46pm

Chewie wrote: »

Yeah this is something that I never understood. My aunt was home from the UK and she was stayin my house for the week and there was always magazines left in the bathroom. on the bin, beside the loo. I just don't get it!

maybe she was suffering from constipation and needed something to pass the time:cool:

Rented Mule · 22-03-2009 7:47pm

aidan_walsh wrote: »

Jamie Oliver ****ting. Now there is a lovely image to be stuck with this dinner time...

.....and he can do it for less than a fiver.

iDontReallyCare · 22-03-2009 7:53pm

I just read what ever is at hand, other than that, i don't really care.

S.I.R · 22-03-2009 7:58pm

read in the toilet.... gotta do something till im finished with her....

Mena · 22-03-2009 8:01pm

Interesting topic, especially since I am replying to it while sitting in the jacks... Mid crap.

Dartz · 22-03-2009 8:04pm

It beats staring at the wall for a half hour.

And sure, if you're stuck for a roll, the Evening Herald does a wonderful job. Sure, it comes full of ****e anyway....

Numina · 22-03-2009 8:04pm

I don't understand why this is confusing for people. You can read in peace without interruptions. A lot of people will probably admit to staying in the bathroom for more than 15 minutes after they've finished doing what they went in to do.

Abi · 22-03-2009 8:10pm

iDontReallyCare wrote: »

I just read what ever is at hand, other than that, i don't really care.

Are you going to finish all your posts with that line? Ive only seen two so far and its a real facepalm. Let me guess. You dont really care?

I use opera mini if I need quality time with the toilet. I like to read AH especially due to the ironing.

Reading shïte while having one.

Mr.Lizard · 22-03-2009 8:11pm

Having a read and a poo in your own toilet is the most natural thing in the world to do.

Strange thing is tho, the day I tried to mix it up a little by taking a dump on the floor of my local library the Garda came & arrested *ME*! :mad:

iDontReallyCare · 22-03-2009 8:16pm

Abigayle wrote: »

Are you going to finish all your posts with that line? Ive only seen two so far and its a real facepalm. Let me guess. You dont really care?

I use opera mini if I need quality time with the toilet. I like to read AH especially due to the ironing.

Reading shïte while having one.

What are you on about? if this is a lezzy come on then I am not up for that. Thanks anyway.

stovelid · 22-03-2009 8:19pm

It's a habit and it just feels good.

The old print media is being slowly eclipsed by phone games and net for me though.

Saibh · 22-03-2009 8:19pm

iDontReallyCare wrote: »

What are you on about? if this is a lezzy come on then I am not up for that. Thanks anyway.

You should have replied with I don't really care :P

iDontReallyCare · 22-03-2009 8:20pm

Saibh wrote: »

You should have replied with I don't really care :P

I would have, but, i Don't really care.

Tech3 · 22-03-2009 8:22pm

I never read in the toilet, I read on the toilet alright though

Tech3 · 22-03-2009 8:23pm

iDontReallyCare wrote: »

I would have, but, i Don't really care.

I dont really care about iDontReallyCare

iDontReallyCare · 22-03-2009 8:24pm

tech2 wrote: »

I dont really care about iDontReallyCare

I don't really care.

Karl Hungus · 22-03-2009 8:31pm

I'll read books, graphic novels, magazines, really depends on what I'm in the middle of reading at the time, or I'll just play Tetris on my phone.

Did you know Eddie Van Halen supposedly writes his best music while taking a dump? Yep, he takes the guitar in to the poop throne with him.

Abi · 22-03-2009 8:34pm

iDontReallyCare wrote: »

What are you on about? if this is a lezzy come on then I am not up for that. Thanks anyway.

Reported. As was your pm.

stovelid · 22-03-2009 8:39pm

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Did you know Eddie Van Halen supposedly writes his best music while taking a dump? Yep, he takes the guitar in to the poop throne with him.

I'm sure somebody told me also that Hendrix used to take a guitar into the jacks and play for hours. Maybe he actually died from piles.

My name is URL · 22-03-2009 8:46pm

If I'm stuck I sometimes read the backs of shampoo bottles.
There's nothing more brick-inducing than trying to read words like Butylphenyl Methylpropional and Hydroxypropyltrimonium

K4t · 22-03-2009 8:46pm

Captain-America wrote: »

Because there's nothing better to do in there.

ORLY?

Glenn Quagmire · 22-03-2009 8:46pm

If i am not done in 30 seconds I am worried and go to the doctor. I suggest that those who take 15 minutes to drop a load seek medical advice. You don't want to die like Elvis did. Tragic Sh1ting accident! :pac:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 22-03-2009 8:52pm

Glenn Quagmire wrote: »

If i am not done in 30 seconds I am worried and go to the doctor. I suggest that those who take 15 minutes to drop a load seek medical advice. You don't want to die like Elvis did. Tragic Sh1ting accident! :pac:

Not the only King to die on the Throne...

*keeps running*

Snowie · 22-03-2009 8:58pm

why the hell not read ? soem one said its ladish ?

Please inspire me, on what else Im supposed to do while Im emptying my bowls???
But its allso a good place to escape from every one and enjoy your news peaper, book , magzine or The newly aquired porno footage

on the phone...

Dudess · 22-03-2009 9:02pm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

why the hell not read ? soem one said its ladish ?

Please inspire me, on what else Im supposed to do while Im emptying my bowls???

Er... nothing? It's a few seconds. And the amount one would get to read within that time-frame is a small paragraph at best.

iDontReallyCare · 22-03-2009 9:03pm

Abigayle wrote: »

Reported. As was your pm.

You came on to me!!

Thomas_S_Hunterson · 22-03-2009 9:04pm

Dudess wrote: »

Er... nothing? It's a few seconds. And the amount one would get to read within that time-frame is a small paragraph at best.

You should slow down, you don't want to pop an o-ring.

Why do people "read" in the toilet?

Comments