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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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Chris_Bradley

lapua20grain wrote: »

i was in mulligans in town one night and heard some wanker asking for 2 pints of Ken prize wanker

Yep, serious cheese.

thattequilagirl

lapua20grain wrote: »

i was in mulligans in town one night and heard some wanker asking for 2 pints of Ken prize wanker

Genuinely thought this only happened in Ross o Carroll Kelly

NufcNavan

lapua20grain wrote: »

i was in mulligans in town one night and heard some wanker asking for 2 pints of Ken prize wanker

F*ck me...

LeeLooLee

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Genuinely thought this only happened in Ross o Carroll Kelly

Used to hang around with a crowd from Rathfarnham and they all said 'Heino' and a 'cheeky pint' Let's go for a cheeky pint of Heino. What utter w@nkers, looking back.

[Deleted User]

Chris_Bradley wrote: »

Plonkers who say "Heino".

Vitamin H

Martypants1

What is Ken Prize?

Jayop

Martypants1 wrote: »

What is Ken Prize?

Ken = heineKEN.

Prize = should have been punctuation after Ken. Prize wanker.

Martypants1

Jayop wrote: »

Ken = heineKEN.

Prize = should have been punctuation after Ken. Prize wanker.

I thought there was some relation to Ken "The Prize" Kratz. :pac:

Mesrine65

Smug non-smokers posting in the What cigarettes do you smoke? thread...

Congrats, you don't smoke, I do...fuck off ye judgemental wankers :mad:

valoren

Robsweezie wrote: »

If they leave their table a mess in mcdonalds

I'm not lovin' it :pac:

Jayop

valoren wrote: »

I'm not lovin' it :pac:

Warning signs that someone is a wanker?

Awful puns!!

That_Guy

lapua20grain wrote: »

i was in mulligans in town one night and heard some wanker asking for 2 pints of Ken prize wanker

Was in the Bleeding Horse not too long ago and some fella asks the barman for "two pints of AG".

The barman had no idea what the hell your man was on about.

"Two pints of Guinness", your man says in the most, 'how the hell do you not know that' type of way.

Wanker.

pgj2015

anyone who goes fox hunting on horses with all their fellow stuck up friends.

Keane2baMused

People who indicate right when exiting a roundabout

Live at Three

A very simple test....

Ask them a question. If they begin the answer with the word "so", then they are a wanker.

"Where is the bathroom in here?"
"So you go out the door and turn left"

Or

"What do you work at?"
"So I'm a volunteer"

NufcNavan

That_Guy wrote: »

Was in the Bleeding Horse not too long ago and some fella asks the barman for "two pints of AG".

The barman had no idea what the hell your man was on about.

"Two pints of Guinness", your man says in the most, 'how the hell do you not know that' type of way.

Wanker.

That's enough of a reason to refuse to serve him. What an utter bellend.

Wes Palmer Lee

Driving out at a junction waiting for traffic to break so I can turn right..
This bell end comes along indicates left...I'm led to believe he's going to turn onto the road I'm exiting and just as I get ready to move ... he keeps going straight ....
Wanker.

ArtyC

Was asked for a pint of probs unfortunately more than once.

He looked at me like I was a complete tool when I said I hadn't a notion what he was on about.

Probably the best lager in the world I was told. He was told to **** off

Herb Powell

These kind of people should be put on a fuccking nation wide pub blacklist.

-=al=-

People who throw cigarette butts out of their car window while driving

Ol' Donie

NufcNavan wrote: »

That's enough of a reason to execute him. What an utter bellend.

Fixed that there

colossus-x

-=al=- wrote: »

People who throw cigarette butts out of their car window while driving

I lived in Istanbul Turkey for a short while. As you drove out of the capital on the highway ever road had a heap of cigarettes butts piled up on the side that went on for miles that collected for years. Like about half a meter in height. Incredible to see but they don't have 'councils' there to deal with that sort of thing.

gimmick

People who "vape", especially those who vape in places people wouldn't usually smoke, like in a super market. Or that twat who has to vape in the elevator in my work building.

jack presley

gimmick wrote: »

or that twat who has to vape in the elevator in my work building.

I bet he has a beard.

L.Jenkins

Those I see as the biggest cunts on the face of the planet, are those who won't use bins, instead, leaving rubbish where ever they may happen to be. A Country road I walk regularly is full of cans and full bin bags of rubbish. Doesn't hurt to hold on to it and put it in a bin.

JustShon

gimmick wrote: »

People who "vape", especially those who vape in places people wouldn't usually smoke, like in a super market. or that twat who has to vape in the elevator in my work building.

Can't agree that everyone who "vapes" is a wanker. I "vape" (I still call it smoking) but I don't go it in non-smoking areas. I had to go outside when I was smoking regular cigarettes and I don't see why it has to be such an inconvenience to go outside to smoke the electronic kind.

gimmick

Nothing like a generalisation!!

Also, people who get married at Christmas time. Like we are not all broke enough already.

Dev84

Older people who put their glasses on the end of their nose,look out over them and proceed to give you a lecture on how to do something the way they think it should be done even though you have trained and qualified to do it. They refuse to believe that you may know better than them and keep saying "your not listening to me".

liz lemoncello

Dev84 wrote: »

Older people who put their glasses on the end of their nose,look out over them and proceed to give you a lecture on how to do something the way they think it should be done even though you have trained and qualified to do it. They refuse to believe that you may know better than them and keep saying "your not listening to me".

They're called "reading glasses".

Tunage

People who let their dog s**t on a footpath or public grass and don't lift it.