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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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armaghlad

This might come across sexist but it is only because I've only really experienced it with females... but the whole "I'm so ditsy act" where they pretend to be stupid or clumsy. They then have their friends post their stupidity/clumsiness on social media for the rest of us to endure. The worst ones are the the ones who actually post it up themselves "how stupid am I.." "lol", "rofl" etc etc. Morons.

Sgt. Bilko 09

Shannon757 wrote: »

Well played sir, well played.

That escalated quickly

Elemonator

Some fella who looks shiny. Never met one that is nice.

sasta le

Beard snapback hat tattoos on guys seem to be total ****

Martypants1

Women on social media who post videos or in jokes to their friends facebook page.

Just private message them you ditz, no one thinks you're crazy or "random".

annascott

Anyone wearing a Peruvian/Andean Chullo hat...

De Bhál

It's February, baltic conditions, freezing cold, rain and wind etc... some guy's walking towards you with shorts on. You know before he even passes you he'll have a leg tattoo.
Gotta show off the tatt no matter what the weather.
Eejits

Martypants1

Anyone that uses joe.ie, the ladbible, buzzfeed etc

For one, they are clickbait...

Secondly they have no talent, literally none. They steal all their content from reddit/users sending in stuff and they are making millions from it.

Oh and they have a number of different sites to multiply that ad revenue. Her.ie, sportsjoe, herfamily. All the same stuff posted.

ronjo

Martypants1 wrote: »

Anyone that uses joe.ie, the ladbible, buzzfeed etc

For one, they are clickbait...

Secondly they have no talent, literally none. They steal all their content from reddit/users sending in stuff and they are making millions from it.

Oh and they have a number of different sites to multiply that ad revenue. Her.ie, sportsjoe, herfamily. All the same stuff posted.

Seem quite talented to me to be fair.

Martypants1

ronjo wrote: »

Seem quite talented to me to be fair.

I'm talking about the ones working for them. Owners are smart alright.

Well, they had a great advantage due to facebooks algorithms back in the day.

failinis

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

or you, know, they might be selfconcious about their teeth?

Just about to say the same thing.

Tunage

People queuing at security at the airport decorated to the last with all their best jewellery, their best boots and probably the most awkward belt in the world who hold up the whole fecking process because they have to take everything off at the very last minute... :eek: There are signs, there are announcements and you STILL hold up the line? grrrr
Oh and not having their liquids (if they're carrying them) in the wee bag thus holding up everything too!

kfallon

Anyone who wears a baseball cap either sideways or back to front!

Birneybau

Martypants1 wrote: »

Anyone that uses joe.ie, the ladbible, buzzfeed etc

For one, they are clickbait...

Secondly they have no talent, literally none. They steal all their content from reddit/users sending in stuff and they are making millions from it.

Oh and they have a number of different sites to multiply that ad revenue. Her.ie, sportsjoe, herfamily. All the same stuff posted.

They are in their hole.

Also, far less popular than you'd think, most of their Facebook/Twitter followers are paid for bots.

But I agree, lowest of the low.

Everyone should follow Irish Clickbait on Twitter, they open those links so you don't have to.

Ol' Donie

Tunage wrote: »

People queuing at security at the airport decorated to the last with all their best jewellery, their best boots and probably the most awkward belt in the world who hold up the whole fecking process because they have to take everything off at the very last minute... :eek: There are signs, there are announcements and you STILL hold up the line? grrrr
Oh and not having their liquids (if they're carrying them) in the wee bag thus holding up everything too!

I once saw a woman argue with the security over throwing away a large bottle of shampoo.

"The size limit for toiletries is 100ml."

"Yeah. It's nearly empty."

Tunage

Ol' Donie wrote: »

I once saw a woman argue with the security over throwing away a large bottle of shampoo.

"The size limit for toiletries is 100ml."

"Yeah. It's nearly empty."

eugh! All the times I've seen people at the top of the queue pointing to pieces of jewellery 'Do I have to take this off?' !!!

Shannon757

Tunage wrote: »

People queuing at security at the airport decorated to the last with all their best jewellery, their best boots and probably the most awkward belt in the world who hold up the whole fecking process because they have to take everything off at the very last minute... :eek: There are signs, there are announcements and you STILL hold up the line? grrrr
Oh and not having their liquids (if they're carrying them) in the wee bag thus holding up everything too!

Her's what you do:
https://twitter.com/airlivenet/status/702221464276070400

Tunage

Shannon757 wrote: »

Her's what you do:
https://twitter.com/airlivenet/status/702221464276070400

Omigod hahahahahaha That is priceless but it would certainly do the job!

[Deleted User]

kfallon wrote: »

Anyone who wears a baseball cap either sideways or back to front!

Check this out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY67XaX6oM8

kfallon

Greatest TV show ever made!!!

Aglomerado

Tunage wrote: »

People queuing at security at the airport decorated to the last with all their best jewellery, their best boots and probably the most awkward belt in the world who hold up the whole fecking process because they have to take everything off at the very last minute... :eek: There are signs, there are announcements and you STILL hold up the line? grrrr
Oh and not having their liquids (if they're carrying them) in the wee bag thus holding up everything too!

I can't understand the thing with the liquids. That rule is in place about ten years now, there are signs all over the airports and as recently as Tuesday I saw a 1litre bottle of water being taken off a guy....

razorblunt

Martypants1 wrote: »

Anyone that uses joe.ie, the ladbible, buzzfeed etc

For one, they are clickbait...

Secondly they have no talent, literally none. They steal all their content from reddit/users sending in stuff and they are making millions from it.

Oh and they have a number of different sites to multiply that ad revenue. Her.ie, sportsjoe, herfamily. All the same stuff posted.

Anyone that "writes" for those sites.
In particular the lads who try to write an article around tweets some sports person sent.

Also if they have to start off the article with "this is great/gold/maaaaaaad", it's guaranteed not to be any of those things.

sbEdge

foxy farmer wrote: »

People who look for compensation for damage to "shrubs". My "neighbour" wants 50quid after a few of my cattle did this when they got out on the road recently. He claims he had to replace "2 or 3 " plants. Ffs

Farmers who can't keep their cattle under control.

eh2010

nyarlothothep wrote: »

Reverse snobs, "oooh look at you with your fancy craft beers and mochas, you must be a wanker", no, I just enjoy nice things, I like my beverages to dance on my palette.

YES. I'd tell them to mind their own ffing business.

LeeLooLee

Birneybau wrote: »

They are in their hole.

Also, far less popular than you'd think, most of their Facebook/Twitter followers are paid for bots.

But I agree, lowest of the low.

Everyone should follow Irish Clickbait on Twitter, they open those links so you don't have to.

I have a lot of Facebook friends who do link to LAD bible. Sure sign of being a bit of a w@nker.

Robsweezie

If they leave their table a mess in mcdonalds

Jayop

Robsweezie wrote: »

If they leave their table a mess in mcdonalds

Ketchup ****

lapua20grain

Jayop wrote: »

Ketchup ****

Mc Wanker

Chris_Bradley

Plonkers who say "Heino".

lapua20grain

Chris_Bradley wrote: »

Plonkers who say "Heino".

i was in mulligans in town one night and heard some wanker asking for 2 pints of Ken prize wanker