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Single life as a guy...

LordNorbury

Hi folks, just thought I'd start this thread, I'm a guy in my mid 30's and single, it occurred to me to start a general discussion on single life for guys in their 20's and 30's (and upwards!)... I'm single a few years now, after a few really long term relationships, was never married and never had kids.

I don't want this to be a thread on internet dating or how to pull women as a single guy, more about the pro's and the con's of single life, the best and the worst of it, aspirations for the future, maybe regrets about the past, what you do that is important to you to have and to enjoy your life, that is generally configured very differently from many people around you, (who at this age are generally settled down with a partner and kids)...

Just interested in generating some discussion on the subject, as your man on Star Trek says, "engage!"...

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tashiusclay

Frank Dry Logging wrote: »

She was a tall woman herself, and to be honest had a pretty shítty attitude generally to men back then, though she's grand now.

What age was she then, and what age is she now?

SarahMollie

Frank Dry Logging wrote: »

In college I had one friend who used to go on about it a fair bit. There was a guy I fancied who was probably about 5'6" and she gave me some amount of slagging on it, as well as slagging him to his face.

She was a tall woman herself, and to be honest had a pretty shítty attitude generally to men back then, though she's grand now.

I'm 5'8" and honestly I've a bit of a grá for short men (though my OH is about 6'3" so it's not one of those 'deal breaker' thingies). I've a very strong preference for less macho, dominant men and I suppose subconsciously I associate that with height; I'd imagine for women who like tall men it's the same thing in reverse

TBF, I would die or mortification if I had some of the things I used to come out with in college replayed to me now.

I think people get a bit mellow as they age, and tend to come out with fewer blanket exclusionary statements.

Like for example I'm pretty sure I never would have gone near anyone with red hair and would have been reasonably vocal on that point, but now my OH is ginger....but sure at least he's over 6ft

You can't have it all!

Pawwed Rig

SarahMollie wrote: »

TBF, I would die or mortification if I had some of the things I used to come out with in college replayed to me now.

In college everything is black and white. Noone should be held accountable for stuff they say as a student.

That is why nobody takes a blind bit of notice of what students say.

woodchuck

I don't drink, so I guess I'm doomed to a lifetime of loneliness. Better let my boyfriend know...

Confucius say

woodchuck wrote: »

I don't drink, so I guess I'm doomed to a lifetime of loneliness. Better let my boyfriend know...

Why would you be lonely if you had a boyfriend???

woodchuck

Confucius say wrote: »

Why would you be lonely if you had a boyfriend???

It was just a bit of tongue in cheek humour

I just thought it was funny reading about people not being able to get with somebody without alcohol! I know we have a quite the drinking culture, but personally I think people use it as an excuse a lot of the time. Not drinking has never been issue for me when it comes to getting with the opposite sex.

Gael23

Do most of you that are single live alone or in a shared house?

ancapailldorcha

Gael23 wrote: »

Do most of you that are single live alone or in a shared house?

Shared house. Thanks to our wonderful green planning laws, it's effectively impossible to build property here so the cost of renting and purchasing property has skyrocketed.

Confucius say

woodchuck wrote: »

It was just a bit of tongue in cheek humour

I just thought it was funny reading about people not being able to get with somebody without alcohol! I know we have a quite the drinking culture, but personally I think people use it as an excuse a lot of the time. Not drinking has never been issue for me when it comes to getting with the opposite sex.

I was kidding too. I could get women without alcohol I'm sure, i just find the whole drinking and meeting girls thing the best fun ever and I love how it lets everyone's guard down.

Confucius say

Gael23 wrote: »

Do most of you that are single live alone or in a shared house?

About to move into house I bought alone but may rent room out here and there to earn a few quid. Dying to move in now!

mzungu

Gael23 wrote: »

Do most of you that are single live alone or in a shared house?

Shared house here. If I could afford it I would opt to live alone.

SarahMollie

Confucius say wrote: »

About to move into house I bought alone but may rent room out here and there to earn a few quid. Dying to move in now!

Thats exciting, and will make you more of an eligible bachelor I'm sure!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

tashiusclay wrote: »

What age was she then, and what age is she now?

This would have been when she was 19/20, she's 27 now

jobbridge4life

How often do people think a straight single guy, in his late twenties should be having sex? Like what would the average in people's experience be?

um7y1h83ge06nx

jobbridge4life wrote: »

How often do people think a straight single guy, in his late twenties should be having sex? Like what would the average in people's experience be?

How long is a length of string being honest. Being you'll go through good and bad patches and it depends as well on whether you have a "friend(s)" at the time.

SarahMollie

Marlon Lemon Kickoff wrote: »

How long is a length of string being honest. Being you'll go through good and bad patches and it depends as well on whether you have a "friend(s)" at the time.

This is something that I always wondered about. I'd say true FWB situations are few and far between.

I mean, we all know ppl who end up sleeping together from time to time, but from what I've seen usually one party has feelings and it all ends up in tears.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Yeah, that almost invariably happens.

I have seen some people lead on others, making a FWB situation out to be possibly more, particularly if that person happened to be in a relationship i.e. leaving the bf/gf etc.

In my dealings it's best to be up front. Of course that still won't stop things getting awkward but at least people weren't led on.

SarahMollie

Marlon Lemon Kickoff wrote: »

Yeah, that almost invariably happens.

I have seen some people lead on others, making a FWB situation out to be possibly more, particularly if that person happened to be in a relationship i.e. leaving the bf/gf etc.

In my dealings it's best to be up front. Of course that still won't stop things getting awkward but at least people weren't led on.

Great in theory, and of course its all you can do, but in my experience what Person A says and what Person B hears are not always the same thing.

A huge amount of people are happy to delude themselves despite all evidence to the contrary. I must admit my half of the species are particularly good at this.

pew

Gael23 wrote: »

Do most of you that are single live alone or in a shared house?

Shared if I could afford it I'd live alone

smash

SarahMollie wrote: »

A huge amount of people are happy to delude themselves despite all evidence to the contrary.

But women are so good at fixing 'broken' men... :pac:

Mister Vain

Wibbs wrote: »

for most men(and women too) a few bevvies oils the axle of luuurve more often than not.

While booze is a good social lubricant, I find its actually more of a hindrance when it comes to the luuurve TBH.

Canadel

Fukuyama wrote: »

Casual sex is generally confined to alcohol being involved.It's just part of our culture. At least in the UK and Ireland.

However true this may be, it is still no less disturbing.

lazybones32

smash wrote: »

But women are so good at fixing 'broken' men... :pac:

A man is incomplete until he's married, then he's finished.

riveratom

I'm mid-30s and share with a girl several years younger. Will be looking to save big style this year with a view to possibly buying next year. Have been on countless dates over the past few years but still single. Good job I'm happy being single!

silverbolt

woodchuck wrote: »

It was just a bit of tongue in cheek humour

I just thought it was funny reading about people not being able to get with somebody without alcohol! I know we have a quite the drinking culture, but personally I think people use it as an excuse a lot of the time. Not drinking has never been issue for me when it comes to getting with the opposite sex.

I dont drink. I cant be bothered with it.

Yet i go out and strike up conversations with people out of the blue. I dont need booze to have a good time.

Gael23 wrote: »

Do most of you that are single live alone or in a shared house?

I live alone (cept for two dogs) as i own my own home.

Ive been single now since July which is the longest ive been single since i was 22 (34 now) and i have to admit i quite like it in many regards. I realise i lose man points here but i dont really care about one night stands and dont really go looking for them. If it happens it happens. If i got into a new relationship all well and good (unlikely seeing as i live in the middle of nowhere in a small town) but i dont need to be in one.

Mister Vain

silverbolt wrote: »

If i got into a new relationship all well and good (unlikely seeing as i live in the middle of nowhere in a small town)

Having spent most of my live in a small rural village, I can relate. The chances of meeting a girl in the local which was mainly frequented by auld lads and hairy bikers was unlikely, so my mate and I used to get a taxi into town and another one home which was expensive. Even if you did manage to hook up with a sophisticated townie girl, you couldn't exactly bring her back to your place. It's just so much easier when you live in a town or city.

Jesus Wept

Hello brethren,
I think I may have the *accolade* of being the newest member of the 'now being single' club, against my wishes as of a few hours ago.

So, here with this new chapter of life thrust upon me, here is a short poem to mark the occasion:

pain, pain, ow, pain, ouch, hmm maybe ill have some toast.... oops I can't possibly eat because PAINNNN. more pain, still pain

I hope you enjoy this poem, I haven't come up with a title, yet. Thinking 'pain' or 'hmm maybe ill have some toast?', open to feedback and suggestions.

[Deleted User]

Je suis Mario wrote: »

Hello brethren,
I think I may have the *accolade* of being the newest member of the now being single club, against my wishes club as of a few hours ago.

Here is a short poem I just wrote:

pain, pain, ow, pain, ouch, hmm maybe ill have some toast.... oops I can't possibly eat because PAINNNN. more pain, still pain

I hope you enjoy this poem, I haven't come up with a title, yet. Thinking 'pain' or 'hmm maybe ill have some toast?

No takeaways open?

Jesus Wept

I'm not much of a comfort eater, so it was more eat something than a piss poor attempt at indulgence.

Jesus Wept

Anymore poetry going? In need of entertainment.