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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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Shannon757

well spoken man wrote: »

Grown men wearing fanny packs...on a building site....jesus Christ...

But don't they need them?

OldNotWIse

What the hell is a fanny pack because surely my imagination can't be right and I can't google anything with the word fanny in work as I'm on my last code red warning.

Brendan Bendar

OldNotWIse wrote: »

What the hell is a fanny pack because surely my imagination can't be right and I can't google anything with the word fanny in work as I'm on my last code red warning.

Bum bag , you daft chump.

bigpink

LeeLooLee wrote: »

Been having a nosy at online dating. A crazy amount of men say something about how they took the 'red pill' instead of the 'blue pill' - sign of an utter wanker if you ask me. Same with anyone who has the word 'sheeple' in their profile. Arrogant fools who think they're better than everyone else.

The what pill??

Birneybau

bigpink wrote: »

The what pill??

Reference to The Matrix...unless blue pill is Viagra and red pill is anti-viagra?

LeeLooLee

bigpink wrote: »

The what pill??

It's a reference to the Matrix. They think they're special because they see the 'brutal reality' whereas most people live in ignorance. They're quoting a film that everyone has seen and that came out in 1999 as if they had some sort of special secret knowledge.

PopePalpatine

LeeLooLee wrote: »

It's a reference to the Matrix. They think they're special because they see the 'brutal reality' whereas most people live in ignorance. They're quoting a film that everyone has seen and that came out in 1999 as if they had some sort of special secret knowledge.

That "brutal reality" being that women are stupid yet somehow manipulative. :rolleyes:

jack presley

well spoken man wrote: »

Grown men wearing fanny packs...on a building site....jesus Christ...

Yeah, anyone carrying the tools the need in a convenient and effective way is a total wanker.

well spoken man

jack presley wrote: »

Yeah, anyone carrying the tools the need in a convenient and effective way is a total wanker.

I said fanny pack not tool belt....tool belts are ok....

jack presley

well spoken man wrote: »

I said fanny pack not tool belt....tool belts are ok....

I'd imagine the fanny packs are for carrying something they need for work (nails etc.) and they aren't wearing them to look like tourists.

well spoken man

jack presley wrote: »

I'd imagine the fanny packs are for carrying something they need for work (nails etc.) and they aren't wearing them to look like tourists.

Nope.

The Sun King

Any chugger ever, in any time, place or dimension.

Saw one of them ask a woman, pushing her kid in a wheelchair, to 'help the disabled'.

They should all be lined up and kicked in the throat.

Fleawuss

Pranksters. Dangerous provocative idiots. Wanksters.

recylingbin

Have never heard a real person say this, but in both the bargain alerts forum and the richersounds one, I've noticed a multitude of people using the phrase ' pull the trigger ' when referring to purchasing something.
You arennot Billy the kid or Gordon gekko. You are, in fact, a wanker.

mfceiling

recylingbin wrote: »

Have never heard a real person say this, but in both the bargain alerts forum and the richersounds one, I've noticed a multitude of people using the phrase ' pull the trigger ' when referring to purchasing something.
You arennot Billy the kid or Gordon gekko. You are, in fact, a wanker.

Yeah this is a strange one. Like a lad in work buying a €5 torch on amazon..."I looked at it the last few weeks and then I just said yeah so I pulled the trigger"

I'd hate to see him spending 30k on a car or 300k on a house.

Boom_Bap

Fleawuss wrote: »

Pranksters. Dangerous provocative idiots. Wanksters.

A person that does a ridiculous social experiment video. You got to love when they backfire.

NufcNavan

Anyone who does crossfit. Major bellend alert. Nobody cares about your cult fitness club.

Anyone who 'shares' or finds meaning in any mindfulness tripe on facebook. You are not being "deep". You are a fcking moron.

OldNotWIse

NufcNavan wrote: »

Anyone who does crossfit. Major bellend alert. Nobody cares about your cult fitness club.

Anyone who 'shares' or finds meaning in any mindfulness tripe on facebook. You are not being "deep". You are a fcking moron.

Urgh. This.

NufcNavan

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Urgh. This.

Aye. Put some vague nonsense like "The river flows the same way, but there's many ways to swim" in the background of a picture like footsteps in the sand or a path in a forest, and it's supposed to be a guideline on how to life your life. ****off.

osarusan

Agreed.

[Deleted User]

NufcNavan wrote: »

Aye. Put some vague nonsense like "The river flows the same way, but there's many ways to swim" in the background of a picture like footsteps in the sand or a path in a forest, and it's supposed to be a guideline on how to life your life. ****off.

On my FB feed, I find that it's never the successful people that post this stuff

Edit: Just read the previous post. Snap!

Ash.J.Williams

Just heard a bit of "dermot and Dave" on the radio there.....a show for ****

NufcNavan

Omackeral wrote: »

Adults 'commuting' to work on skateboards and children's scooters. Tossers. Prevalent on Baggot Street.

I once seen a lad just south of the City Centre push home a crate of beer by putting it on a skateboard and pushing it along with his foot. Tosser of the highest order.

Also, anyone who shares a Joe.ie, balls.ie etc. page. WANKER.

The Sun King

I saw a Young lad and Young wan both dressed up in formal gear scooting their way to work. I had to do a double take, think "what the actual ****?" as I saw this one in high heels pushing herself around on something that was cool one Christmas about 15 years ago...

deaddonkey15

People who say 'epic fail'.

Ol' Donie

deaddonkey15 wrote: »

People who say 'epic fail'.

People who say 'epic'.

People who say 'fail'.

deaddonkey15

Ol' Donie wrote: »

People who say 'epic'.

People who say 'fail'.

That too!

Ulysses Gaze

NufcNavan wrote: »

Aye. Put some vague nonsense like "The river flows the same way, but there's many ways to swim" in the background of a picture like footsteps in the sand or a path in a forest, and it's supposed to be a guideline on how to life your life. ****off.

Linkedin is now full of these type of bull**** posts/pictures.

Really, really irritating.

recylingbin

People who use LinkedIn
But more so the fact I get so many unsolicited emails telling me that they're on LinkedIn and how I should join it to 'connect' with them.
I have their phone nums/email addresses. Why would I need a middle man?

Ulysses Gaze

recylingbin wrote: »

People who use LinkedIn
But more so the fact I get so many unsolicited emails telling me that they're on LinkedIn and how I should join it to 'connect' with them.
I have their phone nums/email addresses. Why would I need a middle man?

To avoid the Recruitment Agency middlemen.

LinkedIn is great to go direct to hiring managers thus cutting the Agency vultures out of the equation.