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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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Usernemises

The people who take pleasure telling you how much of a show you made of yourself, whilst highly inebriated. I hate them people more than I hate myself right now

windy shepard henderson

Colser wrote: »

But wouldnt anybody be delighted if their wife/husband won the lotto,he didnt know that was going to happen when he married her so how is he a tosser?

ffs...... , ok start again , his partner won the money he was trying to steel the lime light while the cameras were there , he was my example of someone celebrating his girlfriends success ,

often people who marry into money act in the same way as if it were there success

brokensoul84

The old woman who skipped a taxi queue at a rank on Wednesday of this week in Cork. She had some balls.
No shame either

yabbav

brokensoul84 wrote: »

The old woman who skipped a taxi queue at a rank on Wednesday of this week in Cork. She had some balls.
No shame either

he who dares rodders

gutenberg

I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but people who recline their seats on airplanes (coaches too) the second they get on board, then the second after the fasten-seatbelt sign has been switched off after take-off, and then they very reluctantly put it back up after the air steward has asked them to for the fifth time when the plane is coming in to land. Not even a glance around the seat to check the person behind is ok with this, or has their laptop out/a hot drink, just bang! straight back. Even more wanker-ish when it's only a very short flight!

Worst example I saw of this was a guy who absolutely refused to put his seat back up when the in-flight meal was being served. The poor woman behind him couldn't use her tray table properly and had about as much space to move her arms as a postage stamp. Two stewards came and tried to reason with him, then the cabin manager, and he started shouting and roaring. I thought we'd have to make one of those emergency landings somewhere and he'd be escorted off

The thing is, he was only watching films on his tv screen thingy, but he didn't want any food, and so obviously figured that the woman behind him could go without as well. Wanker!

windy shepard henderson

Usernemises wrote: »

The people who take pleasure telling you how much of a show you made of yourself, whilst highly inebriated. I hate them people more than I hate myself right now

sorry bud but.......:) .... you have just called yourself one there

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

windy shepard henderson

brokensoul84 wrote: »

The old woman who skipped a taxi queue at a rank on Wednesday of this week in Cork. She had some balls.
No shame either

+10

liam24

I was in the cinema watching the Star Wars film and a teenager behind me kept on putting his feet on the back of my seat, I told him to take them off and then he kept on pressing the back of my seat with his knees.

rodge68

I saw a lad here in Thailand balancing a mini bucket of whiskey and red bull ( or something silmilar)on his heading acting like he was out of it..he wasnt so out of it when a ladyboy pull down his shorts and the whole lot spilt all over him.Ha

Kev W

liam24 wrote: »

I was in the cinema watching the Star Wars film and a teenager behind me kept on putting his feet on the back of my seat, I told him to take them off and then he kept on pressing the back of my seat with his knees.

You should have pressed his teeth against the back if his throat with a kick.

sassyj

Piling up your Christmas presents like swag, taking a picture and posting on Facebook. On a side note, a large amount of Marc Jacob bags and wallets appearing in these pics.

suicide_circus

Every second dope with a michael kors handbag.

"Hi, I'm Sinead, I work in HR and I have absolutely no sense of individual style"

Robsweezie

suicide_circus wrote:

"Hi, I'm Sinead, I work in HR and I have absolutely no sense of individual style"

suicide_circus wrote:

Every second dope with a michael kors handbag.

Remember the dog shaming movement where owners put signs beside their dogs explaining what they did? It needs to be brought back in for these michael kors **** where they're forced to hold up a sign on Facebook reading " Hi I'm sinead..."

yabbav

If they wear tracksuits in public while not doing sport. If they wear sports shoes with jeans as casual wear.

LeeLooLee

sassyj wrote: »

Piling up your Christmas presents like swag, taking a picture and posting on Facebook. On a side note, a large amount of Marc Jacob bags and wallets appearing in these pics.

I know, how tacky and crass is that?

Eugene Norman

yabbav wrote: »

If they wear tracksuits in public while not doing sport. If they wear sports shoes with jeans as casual wear.

I get the former. The latter, not so much.

dollyk

Customers who put one thing on my till belt, then wander off to do
the full shop, and start abusing me when I move their one thing
so i can serve the next 10 people in the line. Total ****.

lanos

liam24 wrote: »

I was in the cinema watching the Star Wars film and a teenager behind me kept on putting his feet on the back of my seat, I told him to take them off and then he kept on pressing the back of my seat with his knees.

Kev W wrote: »

You should have pressed his teeth against the back if his throat with a kick.

i'm sure the cinema seats and the height difference between rows would make such a manoeuvre quite difficult even for Jean Claude Van Damme but you can fanticize about it I suppose.

Ol' Donie

dollyk wrote: »

Customers who put one thing on my till belt, then wander off to do
the full shop, and start abusing me when I move their one thing
so i can serve the next 10 people in the line. Total ****.

That really happen?

What sort of dipstick would do that?

lanos

dollyk wrote: »

Customers who put one thing on my till belt, then wander off to do
the full shop, and start abusing me when I move their one thing
so i can serve the next 10 people in the line. Total ****.

Ol' Donie wrote: »

That really happen?

What sort of dipstick would do that?

haha I was sceptical too

or else it was grossly exagerated

Colser

Ol' Donie wrote: »

That really happen?

What sort of dipstick would do that?

Probably the same dipsticks that spend an hour rooting in the purse/wallet for money,vouchers,clubcards ect when its time to pay or the assholes that answer their phones while at the checkout or the ones that have to bag their shopping with military precision in case of cross contamination between items..the list of w*nkers in shops is endless tbh.

Schwiiing

Anyone going around saying how great it is that Christmas is over. Usually dour humourless ****.

dollyk

lanos wrote: »

haha I was sceptical too

or else it was grossly exagerated

I work in Large supermarket.
, I kid you not, this happens a lot.
Mostly its the same , they grab bread, think ill stick it on the belt
and just run back and get a few more things, But get carried away
and come back with a box full of shopping,
Look down the belt, see their item has been removed, and abuse
whoever has removed it.
Its ok if they go back because the forgot milk or something
but NO they just keep shopping.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Brendan Bendar

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Be nice if you could do that, but unfortunately you can't.

LeeLooLee

lanos wrote: »

haha I was sceptical too

or else it was grossly exagerated

Oh yeah, they do. The other day some wan in front of me at the supermarket left her basket down to 'hold' her place in the queue and went off to continue shopping. Of course, the person in front of her was finished before she got back, so I had to go around her basket and put my stuff on the belt. I had everything scanned and was about to pay by the time she got back, and then I got a mouthful of abuse for being 'impatient' and 'ignorant' and jumping the queue. She seriously thought I should have just stood patiently behind her basket and that I, the cashier and everyone behind me in the queue should have waited for her to come back. She kept saying she 'was only gone five minutes'. Seriously believed she was right and I was an ignorant young wan with no manners. Incredible.

ultrapercy

hurlsey wrote: »

1.People who wear hats with t-shirts, wear a hoodie/jumper you prat
2.Coke/pill heads
3.SJWs
4.LikeWhores
5.People with buggies who don't use a pedestrian crossing, your child versus my car you Pr!ck
5.People who don't say please and thank you
6.People without a disability in a disabled space
7.Anyone who's idea of current affairs is what happened on the kardashians/"insert mind numbing reality TV here"
8.Anyone on the Yes side, who when having a discussion called me a bigoted ****- I voted yes
9.Anyone on the no side who used any reference to God and/or the Bible to justify their argument!

The more of this thread you read the more likely you are to fall into a wanker category but you and me would get on really well.

user.name

A number of things annoy me... instagram posters, in particular people who upload pics of their new runners titled "fresh kicks", others who upload photos of a tiny bowl of fruit saying they are eating healthy, yes right before you stuff your face with crisps and a milktray. The worst of instagram are those who's lives evolve around their holiday. They go to Ibiza or whatever in July, for six months before that they post a countdown every week, then they come back from the holiday. Following for six months after that they put up photos with a few drunk mates saying "wish I was back here". The cycle continues for another six months until they book another holiday and continue to upload countdowns and photos that we have already seen about 20 times saying how they can't wait to be back...

Brendan Bendar

user.name wrote: »

A number of things annoy me... instagram posters, in particular people who upload pics of their new runners titled "fresh kicks", others who upload photos of a tiny bowl of fruit saying they are eating healthy, yes right before you stuff your face with crisps and a milktray. The worst of instagram are those who's lives evolve around their holiday. They go to Ibiza or whatever in July, for six months before that they post a countdown every week, then they come back from the holiday. Following for six months after that they put up photos with a few drunk mates saying "wish I was back here". The cycle continues for another six months until they book another holiday and continue to upload countdowns and photos that we have already seen about 20 times saying how they can't wait to be back...

Eeeee go with you on that one big man