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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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Boom_Bap

Danjamin1 wrote: »

Ah now hold on, we all do that now and again! Why would I go to the atm to get cash to pay for stuff when I can just stick it on my card? You can class me as a grade A wanker on this one

You can also reduce your bank charges by using POS terminals

Sudance

custard gannet wrote: »

People paying for a handful of groceries on the chip and pin cards are an even lower grade of degenerate filth. There should be a 200 euro minimum on card payments.

A handful of groceries IS a minimum of €200

c_man

Sudance wrote: »

A handful of groceries IS a minimum of €200

^^^ M&S man :pac:

Eugene Norman

custard gannet wrote: »

People paying for a handful of groceries on the chip and pin cards are an even lower grade of degenerate filth. There should be a 200 euro minimum on card payments.

Chip and pin takes a few seconds. Contactless is instant. You aren't really being held up.

garra

People who are more informed about American politics or cultural issues than what is going on in their own back yard (unless they are actually Yanks)

People who drive on to the Yellow box knowing full well they will not make it to the other side before the lights change and will inevitably block you

People who NEVER offer to buy the first round

People who suddenly get safety/clean conscious when they have a baby, but the previous week could have been seen speeding round narrow streets and eating out-of-date mars bars while letting their dog poo in the park.

Sudance

garra wrote: »

People who are more informed about American politics or cultural issues than what is going on in their own back yard (unless they are actually Yanks)

SFA going on in my back yard.

And if you really want to understand what's going on in Irish politics, especially today in these times of multinational global village neoliberal capitalism, they you HAVE TO familarise yourself with what the US are up to, otherwise you'll end up losing yer shirt and the pillagers running off with everything you own........sound familiar?

People who drive on to the Yellow box knowing full well they will not make it to the other side before the lights change and will inevitably block you

People who NEVER offer to buy the first round

People who suddenly get safety/clean conscious when they have a baby, but the previous week could have been seen speeding round narrow streets and eating out-of-date mars bars while letting their dog poo in the park.

OH I wish that were the case here...Obsessive compulsively clean and tidy before children arrived, everything had a place and everything in it. Put away not put down. Cant find jack **** in this house the last 25 years and there's a new ecosystem breeding under sons bed that I'm too afraid to touch....was pulling out stuff and hand felt something very warm, very damp. I will live longer NOT knowing what it is!

Sudance

garra wrote: »

People who are more informed about American politics or cultural issues than what is going on in their own back yard (unless they are actually Yanks)

SFA going on in my back yard.

And if you really want to understand what's going on in Irish politics, especially today in these times of multinational global village neoliberal capitalism, they you HAVE TO familarise yourself with what the US are up to, otherwise you'll end up losing yer shirt and the pillagers running off with everything you own........sound familiar?

People who suddenly get safety/clean conscious when they have a baby, but the previous week could have been seen speeding round narrow streets and eating out-of-date mars bars while letting their dog poo in the park.

garra

Sudance wrote: »

SFA going on in my back yard.

And if you really want to understand what's going on in Irish politics, especially today in these times of multinational global village neoliberal capitalism, they you HAVE TO familarise yourself with what the US are up to, otherwise you'll end up losing yer shirt and the pillagers running off with everything you own........sound familiar?

OH I wish that were the case here...Obsessive compulsively clean and tidy before children arrived, everything had a place and everything in it. Put away not put down. Cant find jack **** in this house the last 25 years and there's a new ecosystem breeding under sons bed that I'm too afraid to touch....was pulling out stuff and hand felt something very warm, very damp. I will live longer NOT knowing what it is!

There is plenty going on in your back-yard, it might not feature on twitter or similar "feedback" type internet applications, but there is a lot more going on in your back-yard that will affect your community and your children than will ever be revealed by knowing that Trump made a sexist remark or Obama wants to save an ice-berg or some other social justice debate that will blow over in the morning.

Sudance

garra wrote: »

There is plenty going on in your back-yard, it might not feature on twitter or similar "feedback" type internet applications, but there is a lot more going on in your back-yard that will affect your community and your children than will ever be revealed by knowing that Trump made a sexist remark or Obama wants to save an ice-berg or some other social justice debate that will blow over in the morning.

With all due respect and courtesy......I'm not a twit. I dont have a facebook account. I don't have a "feedback type of application" other than my 5 senses, and I was being facetious, not literal.

For all your "wisdom" it seems you rely rather a lot on assumptions, a presumption ill advised when talking via a forum.

And talking of back gardens....tell me what part of "your" back garden has been recently sold off to a private entity ..that virtually everyone in this country takes for granted as being public. If you're so hot on backyard politics you should be familiar and appropriately pissed off!

The social justice debate is probably one of the most iportant debates going on at the moememt. If you dont believe me, then familiarise yourself with the recent change to the irish law dealing with public disorder....A complete and utter abuse of irish peoples rights if you ask me.

I could go but I'd be here all bloody night.

Oh, and dont be too quick to dismiss an interest in that lardy arsed loaf of amoron Trump...and what he's up to.....he's a total bastard. If he gets in we are in deep ****!

Dont presume to asume you know a thing about me and what I do/dont know/have.

Sudance

Hmmm, didnt intend that to sound angry...am rushing out so didnt think about tone. Sorry if it felt that way

siblers

custard gannet wrote: »

People paying for a handful of groceries on the chip and pin cards are an even lower grade of degenerate filth. There should be a 200 euro minimum on card payments.

Was in the shop a few days back when a guy paid for a freddo bar (€0.30 cent) with a €50 euro note, he should have been told to **** off.

DEFTLEFTHAND

siblers wrote: »

Was in the shop a few days back when a guy paid for a freddo bar (€0.30 cent) with a €50 euro note, he should have been told to **** off.

Jesus I'd say the shoopkeeper loved him eating up all the cash registers change. I would have said, here just bloody take it.:pac:

siblers

Happened to me before, some woman was buying a cd single for 2.99, I had a 100 euros in the float and she handed me a 100 euro note. I had just opened and I explained the float only had a 100 euros and that I had no way to give her change, she rolled her eyes at me and gave me a tenner instead. Fecking donkey.

Ol' Donie

siblers wrote: »

Was in the shop a few days back when a guy paid for a freddo bar (€0.30 cent) with a €50 euro note, he should have been told to **** off.

I find that quite amusing, if I'm honest!

[Deleted User]

siblers wrote: »

Was in the shop a few days back when a guy paid for a freddo bar (€0.30 cent) with a €50 euro note, he should have been told to **** off.

hope it wasnt a fake

DrPhilG

People parking in Electric Vehicle charging spaces.

How would you like it if I parked up in front of the only petrol/diesel pump for 20 miles and then pi$$ed off?

Pinch Flat

DrPhilG wrote: »

People parking in Electric Vehicle charging spaces.

How would you like it if I parked up in front of the only petrol/diesel pump for 20 miles and then pi$$ed off?

The w@nkerism of people never ceases to amaze me. For me, it's the kn0b who insisted on straddling his merc across two car spaces in our local spar. Training night for kids 10 years and under. No parking beside the local to the pitch we train in.

Brian from Bray

Men with long hair

sligojoek

Brian from Bray wrote: »

Men with long hair

DrPhilG

Pinch Flat wrote: »

The w@nkerism of people never ceases to amaze me. For me, it's the kn0b who insisted on straddling his merc across two car spaces in our local spar. Training night for kids 10 years and under. No parking beside the local to the pitch we train in.

Spotted one recently who seemed to be some kind of super-wanker.

BMW, parked across 2 bays, one of them a disabled spot...

Brian from Bray

sligojoek wrote: »

OI

Cut your hair Joe

sligojoek

It took too long to grow it.

I was at a school function recently and someone said, out loud, to me, "Get your hair cut and shave off that beard before some fu*ker nails you to a cross" Even the priest had a chuckle.

stuboy01

People that don't tip delivery drivers. Especially when the change is less than a euro. Damn that's tight...allowable exceptions being students. Unforgivable examples being the ridiculously wealthy.

mynameis905

Brian from Bray wrote: »

Men with long hair

Anyone who judges people based on their hairstyle.

tigerboon

deaddonkey15 wrote: »

Having attended both a number of football matches and a number of concerts, I disagree.

Children are impressionable. What draws young Irish children to British football teams isn't really any different to what draws young Irish children to British and American bands and popstars.

Music: You like what you hear, you want to hear more of it. You're friends also like what they hear, and want to hear more. You admire the musician's talent. You develop an interest in their career. You're excited by the fame, the sold out shows. Your perhaps inspired to try singing or playing an instrument. You get a chance to go to a concert and thoroughly enjoy it. You want to go again. You maintain an interest as you get older. You associate songs with positive memories and happy times in your past. You look forward to new releases, announcements of live shows.You listen to the music every now and then because it makes you enjoy it and it makes you happy.

Football: You like what you see, you want to see more of it. You're friends also like what they see and want to see more. You admire the world class talented players. You develop an interest in the players and the club. You're excited by the fame of the players and the sell out stadiums every week. You're perhaps inspired to start playing football, maybe joining a local club or just playing at lunch time in school. You get a chance to go to a match at Old Trafford or Anfield and thoroughly enjoy it. You want to go again. You maintain an interest in the progress of the clubs and players as you get older. You associate the team with positive memories and happy moments in your past. You look forward to big matches, the announcement of big players signing. You watch the team play every now and then because you enjoy it and it makes you happy.

Granted, most Irish fans aren't from Manchester or Liverpool or Chelsea, but when you grow up with an interest in football and supporting a side that made you happy as a child then there is a connection. To me, people that can't understand, look down upon, and get annoyed by the fact that some Irish football fans enjoy supporting British football teams isn't just a sign of being a wanker or a tosser, it's a sign of being a grade A pr*ck.

I'm not and never was a soccer fan , but I used to listen to John Peel years ago and his show was all new and alternative music and football. A lot of people like both. You're not a wanker because you like something but you're probably a wanker if you have an irrational dislike of something specific

stephenl15

They travel to Dublin on the train on a workday to attend a water protest.

Ging Ging

People who accelerate from distance to overtake when approaching toll bridges. The knob is in overtaking lane which prevents me from getting into the express e-tag lane in a timely fashion and then when they have overtaken me they pull into the left hand and line up for one of the cash operator lanes. If they approached at a speed anywhere close to the limit I could get into automatic lane safely and they wouldn't have to overtake and then jam on.

Ging Ging

Rude people, by this I don't mean people who use gruff language or hold their knife and fork in the wrong hand. I mean people who are condescending or just treat others with a lack of respect, especially if the person is a stranger or service person.

Pablodreamsofnew

When my son was learning to talk, he'd say 'hello' to anyone he'd pass by and keep saying 'hello hello hello' till someone replied. I always thought people were **** when they didn't say 'hello' back. Would it kill them?

Saipanne

tigerboon wrote: »

I'm not and never was a soccer fan , but I used to listen to John Peel years ago and his show was all new and alternative music and football. A lot of people like both. You're not a wanker because you like something but you're probably a wanker if you have an irrational dislike of something specific

You really don't get this thread... :rolleyes: