Would you go to a wedding without giving a gift?

Cool thanks

Not a fee on the day anyway!!

Kwiecien

No. I wouldn't go to a wedding without giving a gift.

I don't like weddings though. It's like getting 5 bills at once!

I wouldn't give €200 though! I'd buy a gift, spend maybe €60-70. I don't believe there are set rules on what should be spent/given.

I got an invitation to a wedding in England a few years ago (husbands extended family) the invite came with a stupid poem about having enough pots and pans, and wanting money as gifts. We nearly collapsed laughing!

We didn't go

Giving cash as a gift is a bit vulgar imo, but I suppose if you feel it's appreciated and needed, then it's okay.

Asking for money gifts is so tacky, it should have it's own sex tape and reality show. It's so tacky it's nasty. I can't imagine charging admission to a wedding.

zeffabelli

Candie wrote: »

Giving cash as a gift is a bit vulgar imo, but I suppose if you feel it's appreciated and needed, then it's okay.

Asking for money gifts is so tacky, it should have it's own sex tape and reality show. It's so tacky it's nasty. I can't imagine charging admission to a wedding.

I'm of two minds about this.

I think either give money or give nothing.

Most people have already set up home which half defeats the purpose of a wedding which is to help the newly weds out with home stuff.

There's no point in giving them stuff they don't want or need so cash or a voucher seems most practical. Or nothing, other wise you're just adding to the junk.

lulu1

I would give cash instead of buying a cheap gift which would never be used and it would just be a waste of your money as well

zeffabelli wrote: »

I'm of two minds about this.

I think either give money or give nothing.

Most people have already set up home which half defeats the purpose of a wedding which is to help the newly weds out with home stuff.

There's no point in giving them stuff they don't want or need so cash or a voucher seems most practical. Or nothing, other wise you're just adding to the junk.

I don't understand the voucher thing - why would you give a voucher instead of a cheque?

I normally give 200 to friends (as a couple), more if I'm involved (groomsman etc) or if it was a family wedding.

Bowlardo

Could any older person recall when the switch went from giving toaster to actual card hard cash?
Was the mid 90's like? the beginning of the celtic tiger thing

Kwiecien wrote: »

No. I wouldn't go to a wedding without giving a gift.

I don't like weddings though. It's like getting 5 bills at once!

I wouldn't give €200 though! I'd buy a gift, spend maybe €60-70. I don't believe there are set rules on what should be spent/given.

I got an invitation to a wedding in England a few years ago (husbands extended family) the invite came with a stupid poem about having enough pots and pans, and wanting money as gifts. We nearly collapsed laughing!

We didn't go

Something like this :mad:

We've been together for a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn't offend and it won't send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same

They have wishing wells at the reception where you throw in your card with generous donation for the bride and groom :rolleyes:

Bowlardo wrote: »

Could any older person recall when the switch went from giving toaster to actual card hard cash?
Was the mid 90's like? the beginning of the celtic tiger thing

I got married in 1990 back then it was mostly kitchen stuff but we also got cash gifts from £40-£75. The cash thing was starting to take off then.

Baggy Trousers

I saw a wedding invite once where they put down "cash not trash". Cheeky Celtic Tiger Cubs!

But no I don't think it's acceptable to go a wedding without a gift. I do know that some people prefer to give their gift after the wedding/honeymoon. Not sure why but that's fine too.

Weddings in Ireland are expensive and rather boring mostly so I would advise not accepting an invite if you're not up for it. It's easy to pick out the many people who would rather be anywhere else

freshpopcorn

Bowlardo wrote: »

Could any older person recall when the switch went from giving toaster to actual card hard cash?
Was the mid 90's like? the beginning of the celtic tiger thing

It was more around the time when people started setting up home before being married. So they'd be no need for the toaster because people knew the couple already had one.

steddyeddy

bluewolf wrote: »

It's really sad to see posts from people who basically set up an entrance fee for the wedding and demand it beforehand.
Etiquette is either 6 months or a year (can't remember) after the wedding for the gift.
And if I had a party, I would never, ever expect people to stay home just because they didn't get me things It's about a celebration, not about milking people for money.

jesus

That's it. I think the cash at the wedding thing is bad etiquette and something out of my big fat gypsy wedding.

steddyeddy wrote: »

That's it. I think the cash at the wedding thing is bad etiquette and something out of my big fat gypsy wedding.

In Irish culture, at least it was. But I have been to Jewish weddings and Chinese weddings, and money was always the norm for wedding gifts, the amount was calculated for luck - Jewish in multiples of 18, Chinese containing the number 8 or 9.

waffleman

Floggin a dead horse here - people in this thread just want to be told its fine to turn up to a wedding and give nothing as long as they have some excuse, sad story or a "tradition" to back them up.

What if everyone at a weddin gave nothing?

What if everyone waited a year to give a gift/cash?

What if everyone at a weddin gave 6 euro toasters?

What if everyone at a weddin gave 6 euro toasters a year later?

These are scenarios people seem to think are ok. Some people could peel oranges in their pockets with boxin gloves on. Tight as fvck.

waffleman wrote: »

What if everyone waited a year to give a gift/cash?
.

Yeah? What if they did? Would the world end?

deathtocaptcha wrote: »

You just didn't have the balls to cut people out.

Assuming there's 5 in each family, all siblings have partners, 3 x bridesmaids and 3 x best men (again assuming all have partners), that equals a total of 26. Add in grandparents and perhaps aunts / uncles and the average Irish couple may end up with about 40 on average.

That's all you need at a wedding.

It's more than you need - best man and one bridesmaid is plenty!

waffleman wrote: »

Floggin a dead horse here - people in this thread just want to be told its fine to turn up to a wedding and give nothing as long as they have some excuse, sad story or a "tradition" to back them up.

What if everyone at a weddin gave nothing?

What if everyone waited a year to give a gift/cash?

What if everyone at a weddin gave 6 euro toasters?

What if everyone at a weddin gave 6 euro toasters a year later?

These are scenarios people seem to think are ok. Some people could peel oranges in their pockets with boxin gloves on. Tight as fvck.

People would return to having modest weddings where they invite only those they care most about.

mayway

I can't agree. In YOUR opinion cash may be king but in MY opinion nothing says I can't be arsed more clearly than cash.

A thoughtful gift of a toaster or kettle is far better.

Warper

You should always give money, what sort of braindead buys a gift? I would never think of not giving a gift if the person thinks enough of you to invite you to their special day of course i give them a gift. After all they are feeding and drinking you so if you couldnt be arsed to repay them in some way you shouldnt be there in the first place as you are an arsehole. Everyone can give something.

If you dont think the couple deserve a gift then you are not a friend in the first place and really have no place going.

mayway

If you're not going to give a token Argos white value toaster or kettle then certainly don't give cash.

It's obscene for bridezillas to expect the guests to stump up for the day of indulgence. Most people are bored ****less at weddings anyway so paying for the privilege is farcical. If they can't afford the wedding then they shouldn't have it in the first place.

Red21

Don't go to wedding anymore, one of best decision ever made, was asked 4mths ago to sit at the top table by a family member I said, "no i'm all weddinged out for this life". and we got on fine afterwards.

ShowMeTheCash

Cienciano wrote: »

No, if you can't afford to have a wedding don't have one! It's not up to the guests to pay, it's the couple. Gifts are optional, or something cheap (€10-15) to mark the occasion is fine.
TBH, if the couple were the type to bitch about not getting a gift, or the gift not covering their plate, I wouldn't want to be at their wedding!

Cool, by the sounds of it no one would want you at their wedding so everyone wins!

Warper wrote: »

You should always give money, what sort of braindead buys a gift? I would never think of not giving a gift if the person thinks enough of you to invite you to their special day of course i give them a gift. After all they are feeding and drinking you so if you couldnt be arsed to repay them in some way you shouldnt be there in the first place as you are an arsehole. Everyone can give something.

If you dont think the couple deserve a gift then you are not a friend in the first place and really have no place going.

Cannibal's and vampires :eek:

ShowMeTheCash

steddyeddy wrote: »

I certainly won't plan a wedding with the aim of having guests there who will cover my expenses. My friends mean a lot to me and If they're going to my wedding they're doing me a favour.

I personally haven't attended a wedding without a gift but if I couldn't afford one my friends wouldn't mind.

LOL - I actually think people are deliberately lying too themselves.
You say you have always taken a gift. OK
You get married say next year and invite all the people whose wedding you attended over the years and none of them get you a gift, that wouldn't bother you?

The groom and bride do not need to expect anything that does not detract from someone landing completely empty handed, as I said before it's just bad form!