Should we feed the band??

Milly33 wrote: »

cant beat a hang sandwich.... So tisnt the worst idea to ask then

The thing I have learnt over the years and this is for life in general , If you offer something , do it graciously and be happy for the person to accept. If you are not happy for them to accept don't offer in the first place. We had one couple offered us food one time which we gratefully accepted. A few weeks later it came back to us that the mother of the bride was tell people "They had feed the band as well" .

Faith

I viewed sticky's venue last year, and it is absolutely gorgeous but it's phenomenally expensive. I was quoted E75 per adult for the main meal, and we had to rent the entire venue for 2 nights. It's a top private venue, so the prices are reflective of that.

CelticRock wrote: »

The thing I have learnt over the years and this is for life in general , If you offer something , do it graciously and be happy for the person to accept. If you are not happy for them to accept don't offer in the first place. We had one couple offered us food one time which we gratefully accepted. A few weeks later it came back to us that the mother of the bride was tell people "They had feed the band as well" .

Well said, and too true don't offer anything unless you actually want to do it, or want people to take you up on it. That must have been nasty to hear, from the mother but mothers are mothers haha I think they get away with a lot for being mums...

Milly33 wrote: »

What kinda pizza are they serving .

They have a clay pizza oven outside. It's gourmet pizzas. We were at my friend's wedding there in 2011 and the OH said there was a queue for them, they were a massive novelty coz it's so different than the usual and they were gorgeous. I should know but unfortunately I was a little too drunkies and didn't make it to the ol pizza. I think I may have been asleep on a chair inside - classy or what :eek::D

PutDownArtist

CelticRock wrote: »

The thing I have learnt over the years and this is for life in general , If you offer something , do it graciously and be happy for the person to accept. If you are not happy for them to accept don't offer in the first place. We had one couple offered us food one time which we gratefully accepted. A few weeks later it came back to us that the mother of the bride was tell people "They had feed the band as well" .

What a hateful cow to say such a thing, but sadly unsurprising.

No doubt she was a Dub, that's the kind of people they are.:mad:

PutDownArtist wrote: »

What a hateful cow to say such a thing, but sadly unsurprising.

No doubt she was a Dub, that's the kind of people they are.:mad:

Lol....wut? I managed to feed our suppliers even though I'm a Dub.

haha bet they are from Cork

PutDownArtist wrote: »

What a hateful cow to say such a thing, but sadly unsurprising.

No doubt she was a Dub, that's the kind of people they are.:mad:

haha what?! Are you for real!

lazygal wrote: »

and we were advised to only order for half the crowd. .

Sorry - off topic for this thread but on this point, This is what I want to do for the late night food but at the final planning meeting this was another point where the OH sided with the 2 wedding planners from the hotel telling me we'd be mortified if there wasn't enough pizzas and people were going hungry so it's much better to overestimate and have more rather than less.
We have currently 160 coming. That'll prob go down to 150 on the day. I went through the whole list and narrowed it down to 120 that I expect will still be there at midnight (the ones I took off the list are the people I know will head off early either coz they dont' drink, they are pregnant, they are travelling long distances back to babysitters etc)
So I was going to plan enough food for 100 then. But OH and the wedding planners think I should plan for the 120. It's a hard one. Was there enough when ye planned for half the crowd??

So you are spending €930 on eveing food and are complaining about give the band a bit of pizza? It really rings true that the most generous people are the ones that don't have it to throw away.

So you are spending €930 on evening food and are complaining about giving the band a bit of pizza? It really rings true that the most generous people are the ones that don't have it to throw away.

Stheno

lazygal wrote: »

Lol....wut? I managed to feed our suppliers even though I'm a Dub.

He's a bit of a chip on his shoulder about dubs

Yep,

CelticRock wrote: »

So you are spending €930 on eveing food and are complaining about give the band a bit of pizza? It really rings true that the most generous people are the ones that don't have it to throw away.

It's more that it was an unforseen cost! Costs are mounting at this stage so every little added surprise takes me aback for a while til I digest it and then just add it to the spreadsheet

stickybookmark wrote: »

Sorry - off topic for this thread but on this point, This is what I want to do for the late night food but at the final planning meeting this was another point where the OH sided with the 2 wedding planners from the hotel telling me we'd be mortified if there wasn't enough pizzas and people were going hungry so it's much better to overestimate and have more rather than less.
We have currently 160 coming. That'll prob go down to 150 on the day. I went through the whole list and narrowed it down to 120 that I expect will still be there at midnight (the ones I took off the list are the people I know will head off early either coz they dont' drink, they are pregnant, they are travelling long distances back to babysitters etc)
So I was going to plan enough food for 100 then. But OH and the wedding planners think I should plan for the 120. It's a hard one. Was there enough when ye planned for half the crowd??

We had 90 total for dinner, and then maybe 10-15 for the afters, and I remember there was food left over as we left the venue and the staff were clearing up (it wasn't a hotel and we wanted to wrap everything up by about 1.30 am). So there didn't seem to be a shortage.

Sorry but I'm going to have a mini rant about your venue. They told you they don't bother with proper food for children in case they won't eat it, then they turn around and make out like you'll be the embarrassed one if some guests don't get a slice of pizza at midnight? They sound completely up their own arses, if you don't mind me saying so, and like they are only interested in the bottom line, and will make you do things their way regardless. Tell them to stuff their nonsense about you feeling bad ON YOUR WEDDING DAY OF ALL DAYS because so and so missed his pizza? Tell them to chuck on a few more if they think they're needed and to sod off with the hard sell from them with lines about you being mortified. THEY should be mortified if their food service isn't up to scratch, not you. Seriously.

stickybookmark wrote: »

It's more that it was an unforseen cost! Costs are mounting at this stage so every little added surprise takes me aback for a while til I digest it and then just add it to the spreadsheet

Ah thats fair enough.

Remember the hotel always do plenty and the staff will always look after the band anyway

Another thing guys that I have seen at a lot of weddings we play and we did it for our own wedding was to get the band to play straight through ( Most bands will be delighted to) and serve the food after the band . A lot of evening food is wasted because no one has mind for food an hour after getting up from dessert. Let the dance that off first and they will appreciate the evening food even more.

Phew thank god you said it lazygal... And sorry sticky but it sounds like it is between the two of you the venue and ye.. Ye seem to not know what you want until someone suggest something and the venue then like lazygal says sounds like they are thinking very highly of themselves.

back to topic feed the band or offer them something anywho

CelticRock wrote: »

Another thing guys that I have seen at a lot of weddings we play and we did it for our own wedding was to get the band to play straight through ( Most bands will be delighted to) and serve the food after the band . A lot of evening food is wasted because no one has mind for food an hour after getting up from dessert. Let the dance that off first and they will appreciate the evening food even more.

You've just reminded me I must talk to my band about this

Milly33 wrote: »

Phew thank god you said it lazygal... And sorry sticky but it sounds like it is between the two of you the venue and ye.. Ye seem to not know what you want until someone suggest something

Prob becasue we're planning the entire wedding in 4 months (only got engaged end Jan) we have an 8 month old, both work full time and are building a house as well. I'd be lying if I said I was one of these brides that had spent 2 years thinking about all the small details!

Ah shur it'll be grand !!!! :P To be honest I couldn't have stuck 2 years or even 1 year of this. Looking forward to departing this forum in 6 weeks time

You've a lot on your plate! We had a shortish engagement too. It all worked out fine and today is our anniversary so things went well!!

Toots

PutDownArtist wrote: »

What a hateful cow to say such a thing, but sadly unsurprising.

No doubt she was a Dub, that's the kind of people they are.:mad:

If you're going to troll, at least be a funny troll.

Banned for 1 week.

lazygal wrote: »

Sorry but I'm going to have a mini rant about your venue. They told you they don't bother with proper food for children in case they won't eat it, then they turn around and make out like you'll be the embarrassed one if some guests don't get a slice of pizza at midnight? They sound completely up their own arses, if you don't mind me saying so, and like they are only interested in the bottom line.

They would say they're basing all this on their experiences at weddings. Kids leave loads behind and drunken punters are always roaring for more afters food, especially if it's something tasty and novelty I suppose. I obviously don't want them to run out of late night food at my wedding and have guests complain but at the same time I don't want to be taken for a ride either. They said they will only prepare and serve the exact amount of night-time food we pre-order in advance. Coz we pay for it all in advance.
I'll have to have a think about it and hammer it out with the OH

Paying for everything in advance is a bit dodgy. You have no comeback if anything goes wrong because they have all your money. We paid a deposit of about 20% of the expected total before the day and the balance the day after, once we were happy with everything.

lazygal wrote: »

Paying for everything in advance is a bit dodgy. You have no comeback if anything goes wrong because they have all your money. We paid a deposit of about 20% of the expected total before the day and the balance the day after, once we were happy with everything.

We will be paying an amount on check-out that's the consumable items like corkage for bubbles and wine and one or two other items. So if there was a major issue we could refuse to pay the balance and tell them we'll see them in court :pac:

Brinimartini

If the band are coming from a long way off then it would be very nice to
Offer refreshment but its never really expected and I played weddings for years.

MelanieC

Wow! OP here. Thanks everyone for the many,many replies! I didn't expect 8 pages worth,nor did I expect to cause such controversy! I guess all things weddings can be touchy subjects!

After reading all your opinions on the matter,I think I will just leave it as a very casual offer on the day. It is true that I am already paying them a fair bit to do a job (and we are on a very tight budget!) and also true that it is their own right & responsibility to do their own thing during their break. They will probably want to get out of the place for a while anyway.

But I would like to make the offer anyway,just to be polite. So I think I'll just mention to them after the drinks reception that if they want to have dinner in the bar,it's covered. If not,that's fine too. It's up to them then & I think the gesture is probably more important than the food itself anyway. :-)