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fake tan for men

lufties

Anyone know the best on the market?

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The Peanut

This could be you OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD2N2eqCjC0

The_Valeyard

I like my pastey white skin. Sure I may explode into a colour of Orange and red in summer (an original Irish tan) but meh,

Never, ever, ever going to use fake tan.

Just could not be parsed with the effort.

Wash, iron, spray, teeth, done.

[Deleted User]

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Wash, iron, spray, teeth, done.

Which bits do you iron? :eek:

RoboRat

Never, ever, ever going to use fake tan.

I would agree with you there, I am not talking about donning the tanning mitt and going instant brown and walking around like a mummy for a few hours waiting for it to dry....but there are lots of gradual tans which give a slight tan that takes away the whiteness... the tanning oil is actually quite nice, no real smell and no different to a body moisturiser.

Thats just me though, I also exfoliate because I have typical Irish reptile like skin in certain areas and use facial moisturiser. I don't wear skinny jeans or colour coded chinos and spend hours styling my hair but each to their own :-)

Ara ararauna

A tan seems like vanity's poison of preference: be it out of a bottle or from a sun bed.
But then again; don't we all enjoy our skin bronzing in the summer sun?

Maybe the male coco-brown aficionados among us are just more candid about the inherit desire to better our appearances with minimal effort.

Either way its a non-organic tan is an affair I would never dabble in, I tend to view things as being symbolic gestures or having some profound meaning so I'd fear that I've been made into a slave of aesthetics

bb1234567

spongebob89 wrote: »

men are just not men anymore

people who think you have to act a certain way to be classed as a certain gender

Mesrine65

Don't forget to wax your mangina before applying your fake tan OP

nullzero

Wax your chest pluck your eyebrows, apply fake tan, take steroids to increase your muscle mass and decrease your pens size. It's no picnic being a young guy these days. Back in the day all you needed was a bit of hair gel and aftershave.

bb1234567

RoboRat wrote: »

I would agree with you there, I am not talking about donning the tanning mitt and going instant brown and walking around like a mummy for a few hours waiting for it to dry....but there are lots of gradual tans which give a slight tan that takes away the whiteness... the tanning oil is actually quite nice, no real smell and no different to a body moisturiser.

Thats just me though, I also exfoliate because I have typical Irish reptile like skin in certain areas and use facial moisturiser. I don't wear skinny jeans or colour coded chinos and spend hours styling my hair but each to their own :-)

EMBRACE YOUR PALENESS
funny how we all hate being pale and asians and indians and south americans spend so much money on skin lightening products to try and be paler.

jimgoose

bb1234567 wrote: »

people who think you have to act a certain way to be classed as a certain gender

That's what me mate, the legendary Kiwi Super-Bloke, says as he drops off the mother-in-law at the kennels from the transport box of his Massey-Ferguson on the way to a wedding with the Sheila. Clean overalls, dontcherknow.

The_Valeyard

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Which bits do you iron? :eek:

Shirts , Jeans, t-shirts, underwear :P
I wash and massage other parts of my body.

lufties

bb1234567 wrote: »

EMBRACE YOUR PALENESS
funny how we all hate being pale and asians and indians and south americans spend so much money on skin lightening products to try and be paler.

True, its Defo my own insecurity but I always hated people telling me how white I am and kind of sneering about it. I guess I just want to experience how 'having a bit of colour would be'.

jimgoose

lufties wrote: »

True, its Defo my own insecurity but I always hated people telling me how white I am and kind of sneering about it. I guess I just want to experience how 'having a bit of colour would be'.

Don't pander to the insecurity of gobsh1tes. Embrace your Nordicness. Tell them to fcuk off or you'll burn their village and rape all their grannies. Bork-Bork-Bork!!

BBJBIG

No need fur any of dat fake tan shoite. Schlong is long ...

lufties

jimgoose wrote: »

Don't pander to the insecurity of gobsh1tes. Embrace your Nordicness. Tell them to fcuk off or you'll burn their village and rape all their grannies. Bork-Bork-Bork!!

Nordic? I never knew this was boards.no

Call Me Jimmy

BBJBIG wrote: »

No need fur any of dat fake tan shoite. Schlong is long ...

As me granny used to say ye can't go wrong with a schlong that is long

One eyed Jack

lufties wrote: »

True, its Defo my own insecurity but I always hated people telling me how white I am and kind of sneering about it. I guess I just want to experience how 'having a bit of colour would be'.

Lufties if you think the sneering for you having a complexion like Casper was bad, the sneering you'll get for dousing yourself in Ronseal will be at least ten times as bad!

Genuinely, not a good idea for a man to be covering himself in fake tan. I'd hate to witness the bedsheets the next morning if both you and any prospective lady friend you're hoping to impress were wearing fake tan! It'd be like that scene from Trainspotting...

(Actually, no, I don't think I will embed the video clip after watching it there again! :pac:)

ollaetta

Don't mind all that expensive rubbish. Save all your old tea bags and rub yourself all over when you have enough.

Edit: with the tea bag, of course.

Richard tea

I feel if a man wants to use fake tan there must be a referendum held.

Sir Osis of Liver.

'Wow,that orange fake tan really suits you!' said no one ever.

One eyed Jack

ollaetta wrote: »

Don't mind all that expensive rubbish. Save all your old tea bags and rub yourself all over when you have enough.

Edit: with the tea bag, of course.

That would be the OP tea-bagging himself then?

Dunford

lufties wrote: »

Ah jaysus, no bleaching but I'm gonna get the sack waxed...try somethng different

What in the name of god could you be trying? Book urself a week on the sun.

Zaph

lufties wrote: »

two pages in and the first normal answer

That seems to suggest that the question in the OP was normal. Embrace your Daz blue-whiteness and spend your hard earned money on beer instead. And if you drink enough the next day you'll be well beyond caring what colour you are.

wesleysniper38

lufties wrote: »

Anyone know the best on the market?

To get that golden brown colour and preserve (even enhance) your manliness I recommend the following steps:

(1) wait until late April/early May
(2) buy a plot of bog somewhere in Leitrim/Roscommon/Mayo
(3) Travel there by bike daily until turf is saved wearing only a pair of O'Neills shorts
(4) Bag the turf and sell at €3.50 a bag (you should get at least 300 bags)
(5) Enjoy the profit and show your tan off to the birds in Coppers while mesmerising them with stories of your turf saving exploits.

(6) To maintain the tan drink 3-4 pints of Smithwicks perday in the off-season.

Repeat yearly.

Good Luck old chap

eternal

Not all fake tan is orange, that's the stuff that used to be out years ago. If you want to go ahead and use it, I don't see the problem with a man wearing it. As the above poster said: gradual summer tinted ones are barely visible and would take the edge off.

jimgoose

One eyed Jack wrote: »

That would be the OP tea-bagging himself then?

<SNORT>

Letree

Ronseal

Lyaiera

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Genuinely, not a good idea for a man to be covering himself in fake tan. I'd hate to witness the bedsheets the next morning if both you and any prospective lady friend you're hoping to impress were wearing fake tan! It'd be like that scene from Trainspotting...

That seems like great fun. Bit of tan for both of you. See how orange you can make the bedsheets. It's a challenge.

eternal

Lyaiera wrote: »

That seems like great fun. Bit of tan for both of you. See how orange you can make the bedsheets. It's a challenge.

Fake tan doesn't make the bed sheets orange at all. Unless it's the shimmer instant one that washes off.

Lyaiera

eternal wrote: »

Fake tan doesn't make the bed sheets orange at all. Unless it's the shimmer instant one that washes off.

Use that stuff then. No stopping the fun.