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Child Item

Visitors want us to remove the cat and dog while they are staying with us

Karen91

The sister of my OH is visiting us from abroad in 2 months with her husband and baby they will be staying for a week with us. My OH told me that she has requested that we remove the animals while they stay with us for the safety of her baby.

The cat and dog are both house pets the cat is never allowed out unless on a lead because we live near a busy road and the dog only goes out to relieve herself and comes straight back in. So basically we would have to board them for the week while they are here, my parents might be able to take the dog but the cat would have to be boarded for sure as mother is not a fan of cats.

I am rather insulted about it and I am tempted to tell her find alternative accomodation, would it be unreasonable of me to do so?

Some opinions on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

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Raminahobbin

Karen91 wrote: »

He is going calling her later on his lunch break telling her that if she has a problem with them feel free to go to a hotel. I am staying out of it, he can remain calmer than me anyway.

Good woman, glad to see you are both sticking to your guns on this- I'd be absolutely livid at the request and there's no way in hell I'd send the pets away to accommodate a guest- the MOST I'd do would be give the pets a little more time out than usual in their room throughout the day, but probably not longer than 15-20 minutes or so at a time. Given the size of your pets, it'd be easy enough to make sure they are jumping all over the guest and her baby, and if they make comments about pet hair etc....well, they can go and jump tbh.

I can't believe she'd have the audacity to ask this of you!!

shruikan2553

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Can't believe you're choosing animals over your own flesh and blood.

Your SIL will be royally pissed off and I can see why.
Treating animals like children is downright weird. Animals aren't meant to be indoors all the time, if they can't survive a week outside there's something funny somewhere.

Some people don't have a suitable place outdoors. Poms and cats are quite happy to be kept indoors, the dog would just need walking.

Throwing your animals outside and leaving them to roam is dangerous for them and would have the neighbours on here complaining about animals ****ing in their garden. When you own an animal it is your responsibility to ensure it is safe and not causing your neighbours trouble. If the sister in law had a medical condition she would have more of a point but why would you choose to stay with someone for a week if you had a problem with the place?

cocker5

This is how I see it.

If someone visited me for a few hours and for whatever reason they weren’t keen on having my dog around – ok fine, ill pop him upstairs for asnooze etc.

BUT if someone expected me to put my “filthy creature” in kennels for a week, while they are and their baby stayed in my home – ehhhh No thanks.

I don’t mind accommodating people for a number of hours etc.,but NO ONE will dictate who comes and goes in my house but me.

My dog is part of my family, just like her baby is part ofhers…. You come as a package in my eyes…

Personally id tell her to bog off and pay for a hotel

SpaceTime

There are loads of lovely pet-free hotels in Ireland.
If she were my relative, I would tell her where to go in no uncertain terms.

The cat and dog *live* in the house.

Maybe you should move out too and just have hour house fumigated and sterilised and then only meet her while wearing full hospital scrubs and a face mask in case you contaminate her with your 'germs'.

Pets aren't 'filthy' and you will not get anything from them assuming they're treated for fleas and worms.

Dog of Tears

cocker5 wrote: »

My dog is part of my family, just like her baby is part ofhers…. You come as a package in my eyes…

Dogs and babies do not have the same status for anyone but the most comically deluded 'animal-lovers'.

borderlinemeath

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Dogs and babies do not have the same status for anyone but the most comically deluded 'animal-lovers'.

You've a bit of a nerve coming onto a pets forum and insulting posters who care for their pets.

sillysmiles

It's not about status, but about being a guest in someone's home and not being prepared to take your hosts as you find them and dictating what they should do in their home.

Karen - I would say to try to not take it personally, it sounds as though she is a new and over protective mother and while what she said is rude, she has probably said equally rude things to other people, who she believes aren't living up to the standard required for her baby.

Dog of Tears

borderlinemeath wrote: »

You've a bit of a nerve coming onto a pets forum and insulting posters who care for their pets.

Perhaps the OP would benefit from an outside perspective of how the rest of society would view equating animals with babies, rather than being fed the 'you-go-Girl' platitudes of the hive-mind?

aaakev

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Dogs and babies do not have the same status for anyone but the most comically deluded 'animal-lovers'.

I agree 100%

But.....

That's not what is going on here. If someone was coming to visit my house and didn't like the dogs they may just accept it, I'm not going to put my dogs in kennels for a week just to accommodate someone who doesn't want their baby around them, sure my own 2 kids were raised around the, and they are still alive without incident believe it or not!

sillysmiles

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Perhaps the OP would benefit from an outside perspective of how the rest of society would view equating animals with babies, rather than being fed the 'you-go-Girl' platitudes of the hive-mind?

It's also OK to know that she isn't the only one who thinks the demands being made are unreasonable.

Let's be clear, there is no allergy or health issue.

borderlinemeath

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Perhaps the OP would benefit from an outside perspective of how the rest of society would view equating animals with babies, rather than being fed the 'you-go-Girl' platitudes of the hive-mind?

The problem isn't actually about pets. It's about somebody making unreasonable demands on their host after hospitality was granted to them. It's not their home to make demands in, they should either accept their hosts hospitality or bugger off and stay elsewhere if it isn't good enough without turfing the pets out.

InTheTrees

Dog of Tears wrote: »

perspective of how the rest of society would view equating animals with babies

You're missing the point.

Its not about animals or pets its about guests making unreasonable demands.

Karen91

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Perhaps the OP would benefit from an outside perspective of how the rest of society would view equating animals with babies, rather than being fed the 'you-go-Girl' platitudes of the hive-mind?

Where in any of my posts did I compare my pets to a child?

strandroad

I think that SIL defenders are missing another aspect here. Staying with the OP for a week would save them serious money, and at the same time they want the OP to bear the cost of kennelling for two pets, or even as suggested by some here, building new shelter outside. They basically want to save at the hosts' expense. It would be extremely rude on its own, but the "filthy" expression of it is just a nail in the coffin.

I hope that OP's partner will get the message across clearly.

username000

A friend of mine wont visit her in laws in a different country unless the in laws kennel the dog - the reason for this is that the dog bit one of the childrens faces a few years ago so the kids are all afraid of the dog and the face bite was an escalation on previous growling, snarling, snapping behaviour. The dog is a rescue and is fine with adults, but has the run of the house, sleeps on beds, nowhere off limits, not trained etc.. The friend offered to stay elsewhere but the point of the visit is the in laws spending time with their grandchildren so the in laws insisted that they would kennel the dog. I can understand it being reasonable to kennel the dog under the above circumstances.

However, being expected to kennel or cattery my pet because a visitor thinks they are a filthy animal is a different matter and Id quite happily tell such a person where to go.

old_aussie

Karen91 wrote: »

They have stayed with us before but that was before they had a child and there was no problem but now she claims he could contract something from our filthy animals as she put it!

I am really considering telling them find a hotel but my OH is trying to avoid insulting them.

They just insulted you, so tell hubby that they will be better off staying at a hotel. Final.

SpaceTime

I just hope her baby is vaccinated. You can genuinely get nasty illnesses from humans! Much more difficult / impossible from species that don't carry human compatible viruses.

Irish Stones

A relative of mine hasn't been visiting us since when she learned we have two cats, and it's 14 years now.
When we meet her at her home or someone else's home she always asks us if the cats are still alive...

I'm more than happy that people like her stay off my house, if they don't like my pets they're not welcome!

In the OP's case I would stand on my ground and tell her that if she wants to stay with us she has to accept the house as it is, if she doesn't like the option then she can stay at her home and wait for us to visit her.

Pumpkinseeds

I'd email her a list of local hotels where she'll be staying. Absolutely no way in hell that I'd put my cats out of the house to accomodate someone. A bloody cheek expecting someone to do such a thing. Christ, can you imagine the way the child is going to turn out with a mother like that.:mad:

DBB

Dog of Tears, whilst you're welcome to make your point, the way you've chosen to do so leaves a lot to be desired. People caring for their pets, and loving them as part of their family, is NOT the same thing as treating them like children, and your insistence on this point is causing so much unnecessary rancour.
So I'd respectfully ask that you leave it at that, and don't post in this thread any further.
Thanks,
DBB

GAAman

Karen91 wrote: »

They have stayed with us before but that was before they had a child and there was no problem but now she claims he could contract something from our filthy animals as she put it!

I am really considering telling them find a hotel but my OH is trying to avoid insulting them.

I would laugh them right into the nearest hotel/b+b make no mistake. If you were to stay with them would they accept you demanding their baby stay elsewhere so it didn't offend you...

cocker5

Dog of Tears wrote: »

Dogs and babies do not have the same status for anyone but the most comically deluded 'animal-lovers'.

That's your opinion... and I have mine.

In MY home my dog has the same status as me and my other half... FAMILY.

Like it or lump it... my house my rules.

ChubbyHubby

What exactly are the conditions of the pets and the house though? OP mentioned the dog is very fluffy so are there dog and cat hair everywhere? How often do they get washed and do the place smell of animals? If the pets have their own room then i'd assume the room has a bit of smell and people not use to animals will not like it.

The_Captain

The dog seriously never leaves the house? You only let the cat out on a lead?

Take the poor mutt out for a walk once in a while

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

What exactly are the conditions of the pets and the house though? OP mentioned the dog is very fluffy so are there dog and cat hair everywhere? How often do they get washed and do the place smell of animals? If the pets have their own room then i'd assume the room has a bit of smell and people not use to animals will not like it.

Then you say "well Karen has those animals living in her house and I don't want baby around that, I think we should stay somewhere else"

borderlinemeath

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

What exactly are the conditions of the pets and the house though? OP mentioned the dog is very fluffy so are there dog and cat hair everywhere? How often do they get washed and do the place smell of animals? If the pets have their own room then i'd assume the room has a bit of smell and people not use to animals will not like it.

If you read the OPs posts, these relatives have previously stayed and all was fine. What has changed is that they have become parents and rather than exposing their baby to pets to help boost its immune system, they'd rather make unreasonable demands on their host.

username000

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

What exactly are the conditions of the pets and the house though? OP mentioned the dog is very fluffy so are there dog and cat hair everywhere? How often do they get washed and do the place smell of animals? If the pets have their own room then i'd assume the room has a bit of smell and people not use to animals will not like it.

Ive got a cat who I rescued off the street in December who currently has her own room. She wont be going outside for another month or so yet. She is allowed into other rooms for short periods of time but when I am in work and overnight she is in her own room. The room doesnt smell at all because I keep the litter tray clean and I hoover and wash the floor every weekend plus hoover her bed(s), the curtains etc.. Sure theres some cat hair about from time to time between hoovers but its not a big deal.

the beer revolu

There's a lot of militant talk here of not having that woman in the house kind of stuff.

This woman is family and unreasonable or not it really is better not to fall out with immediate family - even when they are completely in the wrong. Am I saying to remove the animals? No I'm not - just that the situation needs to be delicately handled although the SIL is being totally unreasonable by most people's standards.

So I would just suck up the "filthy animals" comment as an ignorant, uninformed and somewhat neurotic comment and not take it personally. New mothers can become really crazy. My wife's cousin fell out with and stopped her parents in law from seeing her new baby because they had been smoking prior to visiting them. Real bonkers stuff!
Keep this in mind, that she may not really be acting in a rational manner.

But ultimately, if she chooses to fall out with you because you and your husband politely but firmly refuse to accommodate her wishes, then that's her problem.

Karen91

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

What exactly are the conditions of the pets and the house though? OP mentioned the dog is very fluffy so are there dog and cat hair everywhere? How often do they get washed and do the place smell of animals? If the pets have their own room then i'd assume the room has a bit of smell and people not use to animals will not like it.

My house is hoovered daily so the place is not covered in hair, their room is washed out daily also I would not let me live in filth their beds are washed weekly. The cat and the dog are washed and groomed regularly. The dog is groomed professionally every 8 weeks and I brush her an bath her in between. Shes brushed every evening for 40 minutes to make sure her coat is tangle free which also reduces the amount of hair around the house.

ChubbyHubby

username000 wrote: »

Ive got a cat who I rescued off the street in December who currently has her own room. She wont be going outside for another month or so yet. She is allowed into other rooms for short periods of time but when I am in work and overnight she is in her own room. The room doesnt smell at all because I keep the litter tray clean and I hoover and wash the floor every weekend plus hoover her bed(s), the curtains etc.. Sure theres some cat hair about from time to time between hoovers but its not a big deal.

Yes I know a place can kept relatively clean but no one have asked about the condition in the OPs house before condemning the demands of the house guests. I have seen some pretty badly kept pets and house for that matter in my time. Maybe the conditions in OPs house are fine for adults and not making a fuss about before but it's not ideal for babies. Also, dogs are not the same as cats. Easier to keep a place clean with only a cat.