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Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

bear1

Anyone have to suffer the most idiotic questions at work almost everyday?

Yesterday I was asked by our financial controller how to refresh a page....
Today I was asked why I didn't use certain payment terms in a document.
I politely said that if I am not given those details how am I to know and that the system inserts the default date.
This goes back and forth until I'm asked how did I not know what dates she wants?
ARE YOU FCUKING MENTAL!?!?!?!

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YFlyer

Saralee4 wrote: »

Asked not to talk to people on the instant communicator via the instant communicator!

Told not to wear casual clothing by manager who was wearing jeans which were considered casual clothing by the company.

Also 'lets have a meeting' about nothing. Millions of meetings that don't really resolve anything or are about anything that take so much time away from doing any actual work. Or arranging a meeting room for a meeting that takes 5 minutes and something they could have just said to you at the desk.

There is a good video on TedTalk about that. Will try to source it later.

smash

LenaClaire wrote: »

Anytime I hear that I twitch...

Love that sketch, it's what I deal with on a daily basis!

[Deleted User]

Does pretty much everyone on boards work in IT?

Grayson

petrolcan wrote: »

Another time a (different) customer comes in

Colleague: The customer would like some monkey grease
Me: Some what?
Colleague: Monkey grease
Me: Please ask the customer again what it is he is looking for
Colleague: Goes to customer, comes back and says he's definitely after some monkey grease

I sold the customer a monkey wrench a few minutes later.

I saw a guy in a computer shop ask for a plastic screensaver for his computer.

He meant a plastic screen protector for his ipad.

alroley

suicide_circus wrote: »

Regular occurrence:

Customer: I'd like to get a refund for this

Me: no problem I just need your receipt

.......

That happens so much. It's ridiculous.

A similar one that happened just before Christmas was a lady came in and asked could she return a top "that she bought here yesterday". I asked her did she have her receipt. She handed me a receipt that was for some kind of makeup.
I looked at the top and the tags were not on it. I told her that we unfortunately cannot give a refund/exchange on an item that has no tags/no receipt. She then got very angry and kept saying how she just bought it here yesterday and it didn't have tags when she bought it.
I offered to get a manager to verify that we can't give her a refund. Manager arrived and the lady told her that "that girl" (me) sold her the top yesterday and didn't give her a receipt and that there were no tags on it when she got home. Joke's on her though, I wasn't even working the day before

The brand was one that was sold in other shops, so either she bought it somewhere else or she lost the receipt and decided she wanted to return it after she took the tags off.

major bill

Lia_lia wrote: »

Does pretty much everyone on boards work in IT?

Pretty much only reason how half of After hours posters are on during the day

Full Access Bitches!!!!!!!

Magico Gonzalez

alroley wrote: »

That happens so much. It's ridiculous.

A similar one that happened just before Christmas was a lady came in and asked could she return a top "that she bought here yesterday". I asked her did she have her receipt. She handed me a receipt that was for some kind of makeup.
I looked at the top and the tags were not on it. I told her that we unfortunately cannot give a refund/exchange on an item that has no tags/no receipt. She then got very angry and kept saying how she just bought it here yesterday and it didn't have tags when she bought it.
I offered to get a manager to verify that we can't give her a refund. Manager arrived and the lady told her that "that girl" (me) sold her the top yesterday and didn't give her a receipt and that there were no tags on it when she got home. Joke's on her though, I wasn't even working the day before

The brand she was one that was sold in other shops, so either she bought it somewhere else or she lost the receipt and decided she wanted to return it after she took the tags off.

Probably stolen, get more taking it back looking for a full refund off some easily frightened / disinterested staff than selling it on the black market.

Well done for refusing.

berniepixie

When I worked for chart busters video store many moons ago. A couple used to ring the shop every weekend and ask what new blue movies had we in stock and if we could name them. They both sounded like they were in their 40's.
I was only about 22 at the time (I,m now 38) and they used to turn my stomach but my boss said they were genuinely "inquiring" what x rated videos we had. . . . . . . . . . . uggggghhhhhhhhhh !!

Gone Drinking

Good few years back I was moving a directors PC to his new office, left his monitor on his old desk as I had already put an identical one on his new desk.

"Are you not taking the screen?"

"No, there's one already on your new desk. Same size etc"

"Does that mean I'll lose everything on my desktop?"

No word of a lie

NotCominBack

bear1 wrote: »

Depends which system you are using. SAP will take a default date if the details in the vendors account hasn't been maintained properly.
If they are then SAP will automatically take those dates.
But if you ask someone to guess the dates she specifically wanted then unfortunately SAP doesn't have a Mystic Meg section... nor do I.

SAP is caveman times, switch to Oracle

toastedpickles

"What are your concrete blocks made of??"

Really? The clue is in the name!

[Deleted User]

Wasn't working but in one of the computer labs in UL some female student was asking the female lab supervisor why the computer wasn't recognising the blank CD she had inserted.

The both of them were at it for ages until I sat down next to her and realised the CD was in my computer's tower! Cracked me up that did.

Photo-Sniper

Pussycrusher wrote: »

People from banks in Germany keep ringing my desk phone thinking I'm in a different department.Quite annoying.

Cant imagine THE PUSSY CRUSHER working at a desk

my3cents

My wife used to work on one of the perfume counters of a big department store in the UK and the Estee Lauder counter was opposite. One request that came in more than once was "do you have Ester Louder Mildew". For those that don't know their ladies perfumes there is a well know Estee Lauder perfume call Youth Dew.

bmwguy

My good friend works as an alarm technician and he is regularly on call for the customers. He usually talks them through setting/disarming over the phone. He says he gets some dopes but his favourite one was when he asked the customer if they knew their alarm disarm code, they said they did so he said ok, type in into the keypad so. After hearing loud noises down his phone, he realised the customer was typing the alarm code into the phone. He said he was in hysterics laughing but still had to go out to the customer to fix it, turns out he was very drunk barman.

bear1

NotCominBack wrote: »

SAP is caveman times, switch to Oracle

I heard it's much harder. Peoplesoft is even harder.

heldel00

Can you put "Mary's" snow boots on before break and take them off after each break? Home time as well if you don't mind.
(Was very close to bursting out laughing in the poor clob of a mammy's face!)

And that is only today's most stupid request!

Desolation Of Smug

porsche959 wrote: »

Always Be Closing!

Someone once told me this was very, very important in business. Ever since, I have told anyone who wants anything off us -"Sorry, we're closing in a minute". It hasn't really worked out that great tbh. I reckon it might need a review.

PizzamanIRL

montyrebel wrote: »

I work in a pound shop, the amount of times in a week you get asked "how much is this" makes you want to punch a fluffy animal in the face

Does the shop sell fluffy animals?

heldel00

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Does the shop sell fluffy animals?

How much are they? :P

NotCominBack

toastedpickles wrote: »

"What are your concrete blocks made of??"

Really? The clue is in the name!

Cement

Aongus Von Bismarck

I can't get over this rage all the IT drones here are expressing at the fact that the "higher-ups" of their company don't know the ins and outs of their software systems.

Of course they don't! If they did then they wouldn't bother paying you to sort out that stuff.

Just to pre-empt the shrill cries of "You think they'd at least learn the basics!!". It's a complete waste of time. If I have a problem printing off a document, or connecting to the internet, then its a complete waste for my firm to have me crawling around on all fours pulling wires in and out of a computer. I get paid to do a job that very few other people can do and thus am remunerated accordingly. It would cost the company a fortune to have me sorting out trivial IT problems. It's much more efficient to call one of the scruffy lads from 'the dungeon' to come up and sort it out whilst I get on with more pressing issues.

Jawgap

A few years ago a client rings and asks if I could help him with a problem.

No problem says I to him and to myself I says, that's what you're paying us for!

Grand says he, and I'll email the documents over to you.

Grand says I.

Email duly arrives with a number of attachments and it turns out it's his a uni assignment his daughter has been working on!! He wants me to proof it and make suggestions where she needs to strengthen it. I go see my boss and tell him what's happening and he simply says as long he pays the hourly rate for our time we'll do pretty much anything within the bounds of legality for him.

Grand, so I proof the essay add some stuff to it and send on the research she needs and charge 5 hours work to his account

TL;DR - client asked me to do his kid's homework.

NotCominBack

AVB looking to make friends again

[Deleted User]

My boss asked me to come in and help him tear off small bits of sellotape for a parcel he was wrapping. He can't handle tape and sissors at the same time, bless 'im.

Yes, I'm a tape-tearer by trade and thats why they pay me the mediocre bucks.

AgileMyth

Get some strange requests working in a bar. Last week a guy asked me to put ice in his Irish coffee..

Weirdest was working on a charter fishing boat. Seagull got tangled in the line and the guy who 'caught' it wanted to keep it. To eat.

Stupidest was when I worked on a carwash in Sligo. Lad wanted his van washed with extra attention to detail because he was going to a wedding. The wedding was in Kerry.

JoeA3

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I can't get over this rage all the IT drones here are expressing at the fact that the "higher-ups" of their company don't know the ins and outs of their software systems.

Of course they don't! If they did then they wouldn't bother paying you to sort out that stuff.

Just to pre-empt the shrill cries of "You think they'd at least learn the basics!!". It's a complete waste of time. If I have a problem printing off a document, or connecting to the internet, then its a complete waste for my firm to have me crawling around on all fours pulling wires in and out of a computer. I get paid to do a job that very few other people can do and thus am remunerated accordingly. It would cost the company a fortune to have me sorting out trivial IT problems. It's much more efficient to call one of the scruffy lads from 'the dungeon' to come up and sort it out whilst I get on with more pressing issues.

WTF.
If I wasn't familiar with your posting history I'd automatically assume you are completely taking the piss...

c_man

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I get paid to do a job that very few other people can do and thus am remunerated accordingly.

Aren't you just one of those automated high frequency trading bots that make the majority of sales and purchases on the stock market? Awh, I thought you were cool

Tea-a-Maria

I worked in a mini supermarket over Christmas one year. A woman comes up to me with a bottle of fabric softener which was on offer that week.

Her: Can you hold onto this for me until next week?
Me: No problem, but just to let you know it won't be on offer next week.
Her: Ah right. Can you buy it so and I'll pay you back next week?

Eh, no.

When I said that wasn't possible, she just paid for it then. Why go to all that hassle if she had the money?

People are strange.

major bill

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I can't get over this rage all the IT drones here are expressing at the fact that the "higher-ups" of their company don't know the ins and outs of their software systems.

Of course they don't! If they did then they wouldn't bother paying you to sort out that stuff.

Just to pre-empt the shrill cries of "You think they'd at least learn the basics!!". It's a complete waste of time. If I have a problem printing off a document, or connecting to the internet, then its a complete waste for my firm to have me crawling around on all fours pulling wires in and out of a computer. I get paid to do a job that very few other people can do and thus am remunerated accordingly. It would cost the company a fortune to have me sorting out trivial IT problems. It's much more efficient to call one of the scruffy lads from 'the dungeon' to come up and sort it out whilst I get on with more pressing issues.

well aren't you just brilliant