Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

I've worked in IT for a good number of years so I've had many stupid requests. The most recent was where was the water cooler gone - the guy who asked me is one of those borderline genius types, who isn't very clued in when it comes to everyday stuff so I was polite and told him he'd have to ask the facilities dept.

DamoKen wrote: »

...Had to explain that by improve comms the gob****e meant improve communication between IT Contractors and management.....at least that's what I think they meant

Ladies and gentlemen I give you, the Moment you prove "It's Not The Fcukan Network!!":

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bzc-c76IIAEABnJ.jpg

jordata wrote: »

Worked in IT support in the mid-90's. Got asked by the PA to the MD why her new CD would not play. Seriously hard to keep a straight face when I found it inserted upside down but I did laugh out loud when she asked would it not play on both sides.

In fairness they were pretty new back then. I have seen double sided dvds back in the day.

BBDBB wrote: »

I once worked at a place where I got an email marked urgent for the attention of the entire company, senior managers the lot, including those not even based at the office where I was based.

On opening it, it was a from a lady asking if anyone had change of a tenner

Later that morning, a second email from her came around to everyone (about 90 employees) saying not worry as she now had it sorted

We have to get senior mgt permission to send round 'all staff' emails. I'd say I probably get about 10 a year in total - all related to work stuff.

I worked in a large main dealer in Dublin years ago. A woman purchased a brand new vehicle from our dealership and returned a few months later complaining that the car we sold her was smaller than other cars of the same model.

She complained and complained and complained and said she parked it beside other models and was adamant we sold her a car that was marginally smaller than the rest of them. We even let park her car beside a display of 10 other cars.. Same make, model and year.. still convinced we ripped her off.

We tried to explain to her how the cars are forged from molds in the construction phase and the astronomical cost to the manufacturer of making a special, slightly smaller mold, just to troll her but she was having none of it. Its hard to debate with logic like that!

Neyite wrote: »

I was told to compile data in an excel sheet, it HAD to automatically total the columns and also show the percentage value. But I was told that the sheet had to contain absolutely NO formulas. Not even basic ones. Because they couldn't understand them and thought they would ignite or something.

This is an everyday struggle for me. I just go ahead and use them anyway. :L

Had a customer come in one day picking up a bag of lamb flavoured dog food.

Pointing to the finger nail size picture of the lamb stating the flavour, and ignoring the HUGE dogs head taking up half the bag, she asked was this food for sheep :rolleyes:!!

Can we get a discount if you use the same needles and ink on both of us?

I work in Facilities and have to deal with stupid questions on a daily basis, us and IT really do get the bulk of this crap I'm afraid. Last company I worked for the boss was a hell demon , total bitch , control freak but above all else a grade A ****e talker, thats what somehow got her the job. This one hasn't a clue what she was doing and there she is managing the largest contract our company had.

I call her one evening - to tell her that the basement is flooding, spend a good ten minutes on the phone explaining it to her....after a bit of silence she says....'Ok and who are you'....I'd been working for her 3 months..

At another meeting, she likes to use smart sounding terminology but she hasn't a breeze what any of it means. I asked her would she be making any changes to next years PPM's.....'What's a PPM?' she asked...thats ok for most....But not knowing what a PPM is working as head of facilities is like a footballer asking what a football is....twat...

I could go on and on about this one. I finally left as I couldn't take one more second of it without wanting to smash her face in with a brick. Was confirmed for me afterwards by someone who worked for her previous company that her whole CV was bull and she actually worked in a lower position than me before waffling her way into her new highly paid position and bullying everyone else for 'not being up to her standard'

somesoldiers wrote: »

VBA?

Not even that complicated. Just a basic spreadsheet, couple of hundred rows with a total at the end. Like, I wasn't allowed even put in a basic sum function.

I once witnessed a conversation where a new website was being developed for the business. The manager played about with the mouse for a bit and his feedback was that he'd like it to be "a bit more zippy zappy"

Slightly off but it was at work. Got one of my colleagues to go get diet water from the store and put on the shelf. Got rid of them for a while. ðŸ˜ðŸ˜

Neyite wrote: »

Not even that complicated. Just a basic spreadsheet, couple of hundred rows with a total at the end. Like, I wasn't allowed even put in a basic sum function.

could you not use the formula, and copy paste values after?