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Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

[Deleted User]

For at least the tenth time, I had an Irish cunt last night turn from friendly into a "You're being taken for a ride" or "can you not find an Irish girl?" when I said my girlfriend was Vietnamese.

I was by myself playing pool in the bar after a really tough week at work and I had just given him some advice about travelling and stuff. For about ten minutes, I listened to his "I don't agree with that, go home and find a proper girl" speech and then I just flipped, called him out as a racist wanker and then he tried to start a fight. Thankfully, his older friend got involved and made him leave.

My brother had the same with his eastern European wife. My friends back home said it all about him.

The Irish ambassador to Vietnam (I hope she sees this) on her last night six months ago or a year ago was drunk, came onto me and when I told her "I'm with my girlfriend" who was standing next to me, said "Is she with you for your money?". This woman had been here for three years and that was her opinion.

In Galway a few years ago, one of the lads took home his Japanese girlfriend and everyone had a field day talking about it.

One of my friends came to Hanoi a few months ago and told me about "a terrible rumor that I had married an Asian".

And then there's been all the Irish passing through Hanoi who had to give their backward opinion.

No other nationality has ever said a word.. It's literally always the Irish. And then people wonder why I don't go to Irish bars or visit home.

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lufties

ireland.man wrote: »

Putting women on a pedestal isn't being nice. I guess that's my point, all about equality. And I agree, a bit of confidence goes a huge way. I don't have enough experience beyond those two opinions anyway but again, fair play that you're happy now and confident.

Your not really coming across in a coherent way. In terms of attraction, nice guys are thought of as unconfident and don't really have an opinion on anything. I am a recovering 'nice guy'. By the way thanks, yeah I'm certainly happier but constantly trying to improve myself as I go on.

lufties

Smidge wrote: »

I have friends and family who have married the following...
Filipinos
Finnish
Latvian
English
Venezuelan
Italian
Croatian
Australian
Thai
Korean
Probably a few more I'm forgetting but my point is, I couldn't care less where any of their partners are from as long as they are nice people(which incidentally the English person isn't, they're a complete fukcwit )
So despite the hyperbole in this thread the vast, vast majority of Irish people are not racist(not in comparison to other countries, try to be a 6ft white guy in certain parts of Korea and you'll soon find out what TRUE racism is )

But with regard to the mail order bride thing?
It def exists in our society and is something i really don't like. If there is a big age gap and social divide, it aint good.

What english person?? Yea I hate this crass 'banter' the english go on with, never really understood it, just seems like insulting each other back and forth. My last gf who was english was a demon for it.

ireland.man

lufties wrote: »

Your not really coming across in a coherent way. In terms of attraction, nice guys are thought of as unconfident and don't really have an opinion on anything. I am a recovering 'nice guy'. By the way thanks, yeah I'm certainly happier but constantly trying to improve myself as I go on.

Apologies, but what I mean is putting a woman on a pedestal isn't genuinely being nice to her. And absolutely, lacking in self-esteem or even opinions would not be attractive for a man or woman. But being genuine, respecting her as you would anyone else, treating her as an individual and not as a prize, etc, etc, I hope you wouldn't see that as traits of a 'nice guy' as a negative thing.

lufties

ireland.man wrote: »

Apologies, but what I mean is putting a woman on a pedestal isn't genuinely being nice to her. And absolutely, lacking in self-esteem or even opinions would not be attractive for a man or woman.

Well ok, thats a very individualistic matter, nobody is the same..some might genuinely want to put people on pedestals for whatever reason. I used to do it in the hope I'd get affection in return and I guess I did get a sense of gratification from being super nice to fellow humans.

lufties

ireland.man wrote: »

Apologies, but what I mean is putting a woman on a pedestal isn't genuinely being nice to her. And absolutely, lacking in self-esteem or even opinions would not be attractive for a man or woman. But being genuine, respecting her as you would anyone else, treating her as an individual and not as a prize, etc, etc, I hope you wouldn't see that as traits of a 'nice guy' as a negative thing.

I think we are on different wavelengths with this tbh.

ireland.man

lufties wrote: »

Well ok, thats a very individualistic matter, nobody is the same..some might genuinely want to put people on pedestals for whatever reason. I used to do it in the hope I'd get affection in return and I guess I did get a sense of gratification from being super nice to fellow humans.

Being nice to someone to make them happy is nice. Being super nice to someone for the main intention of getting something in return, a relationship, money, items, friendship, kindness, is to differing degrees 'not nice'.

And yes, we're coming at this from completely different perspectives. It's a sensitive topic and I wouldn't want to offend someone or denigrate their views.

Maybe we can find some common ground and agree that mates calling your girlfriend a 'mail order bride', like in the OPs case, are d*%kheads!

B.A._Baracus

Welcome to bullshit'anomics of the world 101.
The same bloke who would say "ah, i tell ya, don't know how Johnny is with a black one... can't he get an normal bird for himself?" [or insert other nationality] would be the same prick to shag johnny's "bird" and not think twice, if given the chance.

EmilyHoward

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Welcome to bullshit'anomics of the world 101.
The same bloke who would say "ah, i tell ya, don't know how Johnny is with a black one... can't he get an normal bird for himself?" [or insert other nationality] would be the same prick to shag johnny's "bird" and not think twice, if given the chance.

Who's johnny

B.A._Baracus

EmilyHoward wrote: »

Who's johnny

Sarcastic much? :pac:

But let me give you a double barreled answer to your sarcastic reply:
- Johnny is your average racist / some prick who likes to comment on other peoples "interracial" relationships. Despite it being none of his business.
- But, also at the same time, every man that has ever existed and will exist on this planet. By that I mean you could have some absolute wanker who is an absolute racist. Let's say towards .... asian people. Same wanker would still fuck an asian woman. Pussy is pussy to be so frank.

As I did say ... welcome to the bullshit'anomics of the world.

Boardom

I had a girlfriend from Korea (<2 yrs age difference) and one of my former coworkers told people in the office I had ordered a mail order bride from Thailand. My girlfriend's family were way richer than mine was.

That was a rare incident though. Most people completely accepted her and were very nice (or just jealous because she was smoking hot).

However, I am sure it would be different if they age difference was huge.

One of my friends then did marry a mail order bride without meeting her from Azerbaijan. That ended up being weird and interesting.

Boardom

Another friend of mine from Scotland is married to an Iranian girl and they live in Korea. Her name is Tara believe it or not.

Turns out her extended family were opponents of the Ayatollah so they all got asylum in Limerick. She couldn't get a visa for Ireland so she moved to Bangkok and spent her time looking for an Irish husband so she could move to Limerick and live with her family (asylum not being an option for her for some reason).

When she was in Bangkok she met a Scotsman and thought that was close enough and married him instead. Odd story but she is a very nice girl and they seem to be doing well.

Jinonatron

I've recently started going out with a girl from Taiwan. Smoking hot. We met at work in Beijing. Complex situation but I'm officially living in Germany right now but working mostly in Beijing. She is 26 and I am 25. She is very nice. Not a gold digger. But initially it is something you always wonder as a westerner in Asia. All my friends in Germany are warning me to proceed with caution and one even said all asians just marry for family, money and face but I hope he is wrong.

I am by no means rich and neither is she. To be honest she can get any guy she wants and other French/German/Japanese approach her all the time. I only managed to pull her after 6 months of spadework. I think if she was digging for the gold she would be all over all these guys from the offset.

If she was a gold digger I would expect her to be more like Sophia. Sophia is a chinese girl from Dalian who approached me in a bar one night complaining that she was depressed and lonely. I think that is the real warning sign.

Some korean friends were amused on Friday when we were out having some beers and we went dutch on the bill. We do this mostly. I think not all Asian girls are gold diggers.

[Deleted User]

OP here, a lot of talk about age gap.. I'm three years older.

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Well that could end up in the Sunday papers

She'd deserve it.. People who are that openly racist shouldn't be working in embassies.

Meleftone

GabbyJay wrote: »

I think the ignorant Irish guy will eventually cop on to the fact that his souped up Nissan Micra actually isn't so impressive outside of Offaly.

So all ignorant Irish guys live in Offaly???

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

OP here, a lot of talk about age gap.. I'm three years older.

She'd deserve it.. People who are that openly racist shouldn't be working in embassies.

But maybe, just maybe she is that racist, as you say now because of things she has learned in her time there?
Maybe she has actually seen a lot of Vietnamese women gold diggers while she was there?
Obviously, if she had any sense she should keep her opinions to herself!!

To answer the question, no, I wouldn't automatically think mail order bride, unless there was that huge age difference. But, I don't judge people involved in that either.
I mean if its mutually beneficial to both parties, and they both enter into it freely and willingly, I don't see any harm in it.

As an aside op, I have never been the victim of soo much racism as I was in Vietnam! I definitely felt like as a white westerner, I was discriminated against.
But, meh, I was only there on holidays so didn't overly bother me.

EoghanIRL

A lot of Irish people haven't travelled and have narrow minded uninformed opinions.
I often find that it's irish people who have "problems" with matters that other nationalities don't have .

Shakespeare's Sister

Meleftone wrote: »

So all ignorant Irish guys live in Offaly???

Yeh the "Irish people are so narrowminded" stuff said by Irish people and then followed by a woefully narrowminded comment about Irish people, is overflowing with delicious irony.

Foxmint

EoghanIRL wrote: »

A lot of Irish people haven't travelled and have narrow minded uninformed opinions.
I often find that it's irish people who have "problems" with matters that other nationalities don't have .

Different cultures are . . . different
Did travel teach you to be anti-Irish ?

bb1234567

lufties wrote: »

Oh come on, males chase females, its human biology, its in our nature to want to reproduce. Western society of the last number of decades for a number of different reasons has made men into 'nice guys', that struggle to find a partner.

I hate when people say nice guys finish last like its so untrue. Like what exactly do you mean by nice guys? Nice or mean isnt the only characteristic that defines a man. A guy can be nice and many other things, he can be nice and handsome and charming and , hes stilla nice guy and will do well with girls. You think a girls going to choose a handsome and charming man whos mean over an equally handsome and charming man whos nice? no. she wont.

The only nice guys who dont get women are the nice guys who have nothing else to offer apart from being nice. Being a nice person isnt going to stop you from getting women. Its being unattractive or uninteresting that will stop you...

bb1234567

ireland.man wrote: »

Nah, 'nice guys' as a concept is just a silly recent thing. Pretending to have a friendship with a woman that you secretly want to bone makes you not a nice guy. Being nice means treating women with respect, treating them as equals, accepting their choices and opinions are individual ones, etc. It's always worked for me.

It's simple. Whether it's Asians, Russians, Africans or women in general, stop turning them into commodities to be bought, won, achieved!

Exactly. Every girl who ive been with has appreciated me being a nice person to them, what girl would not? The perception that nice guys finish last only exsists because most of the guys who call themselves nice really arent actually nice, and treat women like objects . They exepct women to want them just because theyre nice.

Foxmint

I'm a nice guy, often the nicest in the room by far, and I get all the women I want.
Far too many of them at times, if truth be told.
Some of the slimely pick up book mantra's spouted as gospel here on boards are laughable.

BlibBlab

Foxmint wrote: »

Even if she is a mail order bride, I always think, fair fcks to them.

Anything else is just good old Irish jealously and begrudery.

I hate this 'Irish begrudgery' nonsense. Aside from the fact that we're no worse than most other places, its usually said by narcissists who'd rather put the blame on everyone else rather than consider that its something to do with their personality and how they come across to people

DellyBelly

Foxmint wrote: »

I'm a nice guy, often the nicest in the room by far, and I get all the women I want.
Far too many of them at times, if truth be told.
Some of the slimely pick up book mantra's spouted as gospel here on boards are laughable.

I'm the same. I reckon I'm a nice guy and I have to say I pick up my fair share of punanni . In fact I'd be disappointed if I didn't pick up on night when I'm out. I like Asian chicks myself. They are happy to do a one night stand and that I like. Wouldn't marry one though.

Shakespeare's Sister

Yeh you sound really... "Nice". Making sure to pick up "pussy" every night out is the epitome of nice.

TheBeardedLady

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Yeh you sound really... "Nice". Making sure to pick up "pussy" every night out is the epitome of nice.

Self-proclaimed nice guys are NEVER, EVER nice. Alarm bells big style.

Beaner1

Nice guys can smash pussy as well. There's many other ways they can be nice.

TheBeardedLady

Good men are a different kettle of fish. Attractive as fook. Don't confuse good men with "nice men". Two different species completely. Have encountered them both.

Foxmint

BlibBlab wrote: »

I hate this 'Irish begrudgery' nonsense. Aside from the fact that we're no worse than most other places, its usually said by narcissists who'd rather put the blame on everyone else rather than consider that its something to do with their personality and how they come across to people

If someone has a better looking, youger wife than you do, what's it to you, and why is it any of your business ?

bodice ripper

If you are a 55+, overweight, white guy with an aisan bride in her 20s, damn right I am thinking mail order.

Foxmint

bodice ripper wrote: »

If you are a 55+, overweight, white guy with an aisan bride in her 20s, damn right I am thinking mail order.

I'm also thinking, fair fcks to them.