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Women of After Hours...

Mr.McLovin

If I were magically turned into a woman tomorrow what advice would you give me?

(and no you cheeky bastards I'm not getting a sex change!)

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Mr.McLovin

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

Changed your mind yet, OP?

Think I'll go with the Ferrari instead

LizzieJones

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I was having the hot flashes for years and thought it was part of a long term illness that I have. They're awful. Jesus it can be mortifying at times. The night sweats were bad but it's the hot flashes when you're out and about somewhere like the supermarket that are the worst, there's no hiding the sweating. I'd just lurk by the freezer cabinets trying to cool down:o:D

I'd mentioned it to my gp and he said I was too young, I had the clotting and flooding as well, but I mentioned it to his nurse when I was getting routine blood tests and she added the hormone level tests to the list. Given how low the levels were it must've been going on for a couple of years.

THat is probably what is going on with me since mine rarely stops now. It simply gets a bit lighter for a couple of days before the floodgates open up again. I'll have a chat with my gp when I see her at my next appt.

Love those freezer aisles.

I never had any sweating except at night but I have had that my whole life. I think my internal/external temperature control is screwed.

[Deleted User]

Completely off topic but i just have to say.....

Thank feck, the garths brooks thread has dropped off first page of AH. Woohoo!!!

Couldn't say it on the thread and bump the damn thing.

Degringola

Never forget to cleanse, tone AND moisturise, OP.
And when your buying your first bra, be sure to get measured for it. Surveys show that the majority of women wear the wrong size (NTTAWWT.)

catallus

Would one not say that there is literally something "wrong" with having a wrong size? So TISWTT. Or TISWWT, even.

Degringola

Literally, indeed yes. But figuratively, or even on a more metaphysical, perhaps not IYKWIM.

Tail Docker

I may phone in tomorrow and tell them I'm in me flowers. Chances are they won't have the neck to question it. If they do, I'll act all offended and ask if they want to see my gee. That ought to do it.

Fat Christy

Degringola wrote: »

(NTTAWWT.)

I have no idea what this means....

Lou.m

Fat Christy wrote: »

Hear, hear. I have a very heavy flow, it's like a river busting it's banks. You just get on with it.

You are a woman??? :eek:

This changes everything for my boards.ie experience.

Fat Christy

Lou.m wrote: »

You are a woman??? :eek:

This changes everything for my boards.ie experience.

Really?

Devastated! So that sexy meetup is off then?

Paddy Cow

Love yourself, you are beautiful as you are.

When it comes to weight, anything under a size 12 is anorexic and anything over a size 10 is fat.

Men love REAL women with curves. Skinny b!tches are just jellous that they don't have anything for men to want to cuddle up to.

Don't wear too much make up or you will be seen as high maintenance.

If you don't wear enough make up, you will be seen as slovenly and lacking self respect.

If you have kids, be a stay at home mother. What's the point in having kids if you aren't going to look after them yourself?

If you have kids, go back to work other wise you will just be leeching off your partner and setting a bad example for your kids.

Hope that helps op, enjoy being a woman

Lou.m

Periods suck. You want to kill and **** everything. But you will be icky and moody and no man will want to touch you.

There will be a period in the middle of the month when you also want to **** everything. You will be perky and flirty and every man's dream ...enjoy ...your friends won't know you.

Your first few periods you will have a deathly fear of pregnancy ...even if you have not had sex....you will have nightmares....these are normal every teenage girl has them.

You will take pregnancy tests even when you have not had sex and your period is late. Don't lie girls you have done this at least once. You will have irrational phobias that some weird supernatural force is trying to get you pregnant. (CAN YOU GET PREGNANT FROM DREAMS? YOU CAN CAN'T YOU? 'THEY' ARE FORCING ME TO BREED! ....ok lou who is they? 'people in white coats'....i think the government knows about it.)

Why fear pregnancy so much lou.m??? Have you seen it ? HAVE YOU SEEN CHILDBIRTH??????

It's not easy being a girl getting by in this world. There are assholes and basically every struggle you have as a guy only with bleeding and painful childbirth.

By the way are childbirth videos ok to post here? They are a horror story ....so I thought I would ask ..I think OP needs to know before they do this magic wish stuff.

mad muffin

Thread disappoints.

I came in here ready to see photos of women of AH. Instead what do I get?

I bunch of blokes wanting to be weemen and discussions on weemens issues :rolleyes:

Lou.m

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Love yourself, you are beautiful as you are.

When it comes to weight, anything under a size 12 is anorexic and anything over a size 10 is fat.

Men love REAL women with curves. Skinny b!tches are just jellous that they don't have anything for men to want to cuddle up to.

Don't wear too much make up or you will be seen as high maintenance.

If you don't wear enough make up, you will be seen as slovenly and lacking self respect.

If you have kids, be a stay at home mother. What's the point in having kids if you aren't going to look after them yourself?

If you have kids, go back to work other wise you will just be leeching off your partner and setting a bad example for your kids.

Hope that helps op, enjoy being a woman

YUP ...basically this.

Lou.m

mad muffin wrote: »

Thread disappoints.

I came in here ready to see photos of women of AH. Instead what do I get?

I bunch of blokes wanting to be weemen and discussions on weemens issues :rolleyes:

Yeah also expect guys like this. Mad Muffin no offense ..hugs

Fat Christy

Lou.m wrote: »

Periods suck. You want to kill and **** everything. But you will be icky and moody and no man will want to touch you.
.

Speak for yourself lady, I get the ride period or no period. :pac:

Lou.m

Fat Christy wrote: »

Speak for yourself lady, I get the ride period or no period. :pac:

Fair play!

Lou.m

I wanna post about childbirth.....scare myself more...

I have a friend whose epidermal FAILED...she only went numb on one side ....it was a mind **** ...she had to push with one numb side and one painful one.... you pass a lot of blood clots....sometimes as big as golf balls. Vagina RIPS .....RIPS ...

Breast feeding gives more contractions for the first while...

So any women heroes actually done this and have anymore to add?

Also if you get unexpectedly pregnant in this country you can't decide to take control of the situation and have an abortion.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

LADS.

Degringola wrote: »

Literally, indeed yes. But figuratively, or even on a more metaphysical, perhaps not IYKWIM.

catallus wrote: »

Would one not say that there is literally something "wrong" with having a wrong size? So TISWTT. Or TISWWT, even.

Degringola wrote: »

Never forget to cleanse, tone AND moisturise, OP.
And when your buying your first bra, be sure to get measured for it. Surveys show that the majority of women wear the wrong size (NTTAWWT.)

Fat Christy wrote: »

I have no idea what this means....

Could somebody please explain what all this was about?

Renegade Mechanic

Fat Christy wrote: »

Speak for yourself lady, I get the ride period or no period. :pac:

Anything else? Does the poor fella come back up looking like a new born baby?

Fat Christy

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Anything else? Does the poor fella come back up looking like a new born baby?

Oh renegade, you don't know? I has the disappoint.

Also, orange soda must have ran off, it now looks like I was talking to myself...

Renegade Mechanic

Fat Christy wrote: »

Oh renegade, you don't know? I has the disappoint.

Also, orange soda must have ran off, it now looks like I was talking to myself...

Course I dont! Jaysus!:eek: And yeah, saw that lol.

Fat Christy

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Course I dont! Jaysus!:eek: And yeah, saw that lol.

You're missing out.

I'd tap you if you were on your period.

Call Me Jimmy

Oh Fat Christy you are the living end :P

Fat Christy

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Oh Fat Christy you are the living end :P

Why thank you kind sir, I have no idea what that means but okay.

Also, I love the way the whole thread has diverged to period talk.....:pac:

Renegade Mechanic

Fat Christy wrote: »

You're missing out.

I'd tap you if you were on your period.

I meant I don't know if yer poor fella comes back up looking like a butcher that slipped:D

Otherwise, been there, done that, wore the T-Shirt.

... And cleaned said T-Shirt..

Also, Im genuinely stuck for a response to that!

ectoraige

So OP, how's this thread working out for you?

LizzieJones

Lou.m wrote: »

Periods suck. You want to kill and **** everything. But you will be icky and moody and no man will want to touch you.

No matter what kind of a mood we are in men will always want to touch us. The dirty basterds.

LizzieJones

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Anything else? Does the poor fella come back up looking like a new born baby?

It's nothing a towel and a good shower can't fix.

Mr.McLovin

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

Think I'll go with the Ferrari instead

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

Completely off topic but i just have to say.....

Thank feck, the garths brooks thread has dropped off first page of AH. Woohoo!!!

Couldn't say it on the thread and bump the damn thing.

I know what I wish for now...

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Hope that helps op, enjoy being a woman

Will I logon tomorrow as Mrs.Mclovin?!? :eek:

ectoraige wrote: »

So OP, how's this thread working out for you?

not how I envisaged tbh, I was expecting more laughs and less sick

seeing how this has turned into the period thread, I was told that why women get so cranky around that time of the month because they get super extra horny and cant do much about it... well at least not causing a big mess!