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Are ugliness and disability comparable disadvantages when dating??

onrail

Not sure if this will make me out to be a bollocks, but here it goes...

I recently began chatting to a girl on an online dating site, and we hit it off straight away. The conversation was witty, charming and put simply it just worked!

So after a few days of texting back and forth we concluded that we should meet. This was grand and we chatted for a while until she decided to 'drop the bombshell' (her words) that she has a 'mild' disability.

The messages from her immediately following this were filled with 'walk away' and such negative language. I assured her that this made no difference and we've been getting on really well ever since. I plan to meet her in the next couple of days.

So here's my question: when we meet and I witness this 'disability' (whatever it is) am I a terrible terrible person if it lessens my attraction to this girl? One justification (and I'm looking for one) is that if she decided that I'm too ugly to take things further (and I am dreadfully unforfortunate looking) I, and society, would have little problem with it.

What are peoples thoughts on this? Should i try to ignore whatever it is? Try to make it work? To be fair, if I met a girl out of my league, I would hope that she would do similar regarding my looks!

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Sir Osis of Liver.

Maybe her fanny is where her face should be.

Either way,you're on a winner.

Frito

You're over thinking it.

You can't help who you're attracted to and the converse is true for her.

You seem to have chemistry, that's a good start. Just see what happens.

frag420

If she doesn't like you because your ugly then I would steal her crutches!!

End game right there!!

Curly Judge

It might work out.
It might not.
Either way I think you should meet.
Best of luck and please invite me to the wedding.:)

jamo2oo9

Ugliness, yes. Disability, no. I'd give them kudos for admitting they have a disability, mild or not. It takes balls to admit they have it.

Motivator

jamo2oo9 wrote: »

I'd give them kudos for admitting they have a disability, mild or not. It takes balls to admit they have it.

Why? If she turns up with 1 leg or a Hairlip then he'll soon spot it. She's just giving him a warning. If she's letting you know now then it's probably bad - bad enough for her to be on an internet dating website.

onrail

jamo2oo9 wrote: »

Ugliness, yes. Disability, no. I'd give them kudos for admitting they have a disability, mild or not. It takes balls to admit they have it.

What's there to admit!? I'd find out pretty quickly once we meet like!

The Th!ng

It's possible that "she" has a 9" cock, but can't get an erection.

Pwindedd

I concur, have a meet up and see what this mild disability is. You got the chemistry going on and that's always a good start. But if you find you can't get over it then don't feel bad. You're not a monster for being honest with yourself and over time it may be less of an issue if you continue to see her.

Nothing ventured nothing gained and all that.

I've got a dodgy eye (squint) and my husband is a wee bit fat and half bald. We're made for each other though.

Legs.Eleven

You can´t control who your attracted to, OP and you´re not obliged to fancy someone either for whatever reason. Just see how it goes. I hope it does work out for you though as it seems you get along.

hfallada

Go on a date and see how it is. You might find that you dont have anything in common and that you just arent right for each other. Nothing to do with your looks or her "disability". Its better to have a ****ty date, than thinking you have missed out

catallus

She hasn't told you what the disability is?

Maphisto

Firstly I don't believe there are "leagues" at all, other than in people's heads. There are people that are attracted to each that go on to become couples and there are not - That's it.

So here's my question: when we meet and I witness this 'disability' (whatever it is) am I a terrible terrible person if it lessens my attraction to this girl?

No, but without knowing what the disability is you are running the risk of an awful lot of emotions - sympathy, pity, shock and you're going to try and not show it in your face?

One justification (and I'm looking for one) is that if she decided that I'm too ugly to take things further (and I am dreadfully unforfortunate looking) I, and society, would have little problem with it

That's all bollox. You either click or you don't.

Good Luck

onrail

catallus wrote: »

She hasn't told you what the disability is?

Nah. . its not immediately apparent from photos anyway! I can't go ahead and ask her like!

catallus

If she tells you she has a disability and won't say what it is I'd be suspicious of an entrapment gang.

Frito

As she brought it up of course you can ask. She doesn't have to tell you though.

onrail

onrail wrote: »

Nah. . its not immediately apparent from photos anyway! I can't go ahead and ask her like!

I should also add that I tried a bit of Facebook stalking (dont judge) and this disability wasn't apparent from photos on that either!

anncoates

She might just mean that her sense of mild is disabled, therefore just being a unnecessarily verbose way of conveying that she's bad tempered.

umop.episdn

jamo2oo9 wrote: »

Ugliness, yes. Disability, no. I'd give them kudos for admitting they have a disability, mild or not. It takes balls to admit they have it.

Her having balls isn't a disability.... Is it?

Maphisto

onrail wrote: »

Nah. . its not immediately apparent from photos anyway! I can't go ahead and ask her like!

Why not?

catallus

onrail wrote: »

I should also add that I tried a bit of Facebook stalking (dont judge) and this disability wasn't apparent from photos on that either!

She may be being strange with her words and suggesting something like depression.

Or she may be a member of a gang. Who knows?

You will OP. If we hear nothing back we can assume you're dead, right?

Holsten

Depends on the disability.

umop.episdn

onrail wrote: »

I should also add that I tried a bit of Facebook stalking (dont judge) and this disability wasn't apparent from photos on that either!

It's probably not physical, it could be a neurological or mental disability?
Mild asbergers or bat**** crazy

Reedsie

She's probably reading this...

frag420

Maphisto wrote: »

You either click or you don't

That's probably her hip...

Frito

umop.episdn wrote: »

It's probably not physical, it could be a neurological or mental disability?
Mild asbergers or bat**** crazy

It could be a movement disorder, obviously not visible in a photo.

Pointless to speculate though, just ask her OP.

Reedsie

Paddy_R wrote: »

She's probably reading this...

Oh maybe she's blind!

ratmouse

Maybe she has impaired hearing or a speech impediment, something that isn't visible from the photos you have seen. I would be focusing on the fact that thus far, you click very well with each other and go along on a date and take it from there.

El Weirdo

Paddy_R wrote: »

Oh maybe she's blind!

^This.

Win-win.

onrail

El Weirdo wrote: »

^This.

Win-win.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.