UCDVet wrote: » My favorite food is pizza. I could eat a lot of pizza, but sometimes I want ice cream. I don't always want ice cream though. I want pizza most of the time, but sometimes ice cream; in a world where pizza IS NOT ice cream.
UCDVet wrote: » Then how do you explain the existence of.... Casual sex Strip clubs Pornography Sex workers These things exist. And they are REALLY popular. Clearly *some* people feel that sex isn't such a private and intimate thing to be shared with your soulmate.
UCDVet wrote: » Your biases are pretty clear in your assumptions here. Someone with a different opinion that you must be BAD at sex or NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING. Clearly, anyone who knew as much as you do; would clearly agree with you.If I say I am tired of eating carrots, you'll just imply that I don't know how to properly cook carrots.... My favorite food is pizza. I could eat a lot of pizza, but sometimes I want ice cream. I don't always want ice cream though. I want pizza most of the time, but sometimes ice cream; in a world where pizza IS NOT ice cream. That doesn't mean the pizza is bad. That doesn't mean I don't know how to properly eat pizza or that I'm not 'man enough' to always eat pizza. I'm just a normal person who can admit that sometimes I like different things.
Czarcasm wrote: » If I were actually to take your merely academic argument seriously, I'd be thinking how shìt sex must be for you that you'll settle for being the cuckolded husband comparing having sex to reading books. Quite frankly, you're definitely doing it wrong (but I think tbh you're only using yourself to make a poor academic argument). You can do incredible things with a carrot that you'll never be able to do with a pizza! A carrot is never just a carrot with a little imagination! If you don't get why people treat sex differently to softball, then you're really not the open minded intellectual you think you are.
SV wrote: » It involves insertion or receiving of body parts and other bodily fluids. It's always going to be pretty intimate.
UCDVet wrote: » I never understood why sex was such a big deal. I'm married. I like lots of stuff. So does my wife. Some stuff we both like, some stuff we disagree on. She likes books and movies that I don't like, and vice-versa....we have lots of different hobbies (and lots of shared ones too). I don't mind if she does something she likes with other people. I don't see why sex should be any different.
And 'sex' isn't just one thing....there is a huge assortment of sexual activities that are made better or worse depending on your preferences. It's IMPOSSIBLE for one person to be able to do 'everything'. A lot of people have preferences that change over-time or that, occasionally, like something different. Even if a marriage isn't 'sexless' that doesn't mean it's perfect. If I'm not tall, dark and handsome, I can't fulfill a desire my wife might have for a tall, dark and handsome man anymore than a baseball bat can be a tennis racket or a computer can be a hammock. No matter how many ways you cook it, a carrot is still a carrot and maybe I want pizza tonight....
With everything else, we're totally reasonable about things. If you want a fancy dinner, you can just pay someone to cook it and bring it to you. I'm not a good cook....but I don't care if my wife goes out to dinner. I'm not a great musician....but I don't care if my wife listens to professionals. I'm not a great doctor....but if my wife is sick, I'd rather she visit a professional who knows what he or she is doing. If my wife wants to play softball and I don't, I don't care if she plays softball with other people.I honestly don't get why people treat sex differently.
Fred Swanson wrote: » This post has been deleted.
poundapunnet wrote: » In a committed relationship sex is more than just the physical process. I don't expect emotional and sexual intimacy from my doctor or musician I'm watching just like I don't expect my partner to give me antibiotics or put on a concert for me. They're totally different relationships. Sex is not just about performing to meet a need of your partner that any reasonably skilled person could do.
UCDVet wrote: » Intimate is what you make it. If you ONLY sing in private, to your wife; your singing is an intimate act. If you sing on stage in front of millions - it isn't. That's by definition. If you have casual sex with lots of people, it isn't intimate. If you have sex in front of lots of people or with lots of people at once, it isn't intimate. In some cultures acquaintances casually kiss on the cheek - where I grew up kissing was for romantic couples because it was 'considered' intimate. It's all relative.
Czarcasm wrote: » It happens an awful lot that people fool themselves into thinking their marriage was saved by merely having their sexual desires fulfilled by a third party. The only thing that saves a marriage is when the people involved in the marriage choose to work on their marriage. Otherwise they're best just call it a day and stop kidding themselves.
Gambas wrote: » People treat sex differently because it is different. Very different from cooking, coughing or sports, or anything I can think of. Pretending otherwise is folly.
Legs.Eleven wrote: » You automatically ruin your marriage by going off with an escort. It's the very definition of a ruined relationship that you would rather deceive your partner and sleep with someone else than either sort it out or end it. Getting your rocks off with a prostitute does nothing but scratch an itch and telling yourself it's anything more profound than that instead of admitting to yourself what it's really about makes you a selfish arsehole.
I Heart Internet wrote: » Thanks. These people have presumably studied the subject, no? Or are they to be immeadiately disregared because there are nuns involved?
SV wrote: » Sex is intimate. Softball isn't.
UCDVet wrote: » I never understood why sex was such a big deal. I'm married. I like lots of stuff. So does my wife. Some stuff we both like, some stuff we disagree on. She likes books and movies that I don't like, and vice-versa....we have lots of different hobbies (and lots of shared ones too). I don't mind if she does something she likes with other people. I don't see why sex should be any different. And 'sex' isn't just one thing....there is a huge assortment of sexual activities that are made better or worse depending on your preferences. It's IMPOSSIBLE for one person to be able to do 'everything'. A lot of people have preferences that change over-time or that, occasionally, like something different. Even if a marriage isn't 'sexless' that doesn't mean it's perfect. If I'm not tall, dark and handsome, I can't fulfill a desire my wife might have for a tall, dark and handsome man anymore than a baseball bat can be a tennis racket or a computer can be a hammock. No matter how many ways you cook it, a carrot is still a carrot and maybe I want pizza tonight.... With everything else, we're totally reasonable about things. If you want a fancy dinner, you can just pay someone to cook it and bring it to you. I'm not a good cook....but I don't care if my wife goes out to dinner. I'm not a great musician....but I don't care if my wife listens to professionals. I'm not a great doctor....but if my wife is sick, I'd rather she visit a professional who knows what he or she is doing. If my wife wants to play softball and I don't, I don't care if she plays softball with other people. I honestly don't get why people treat sex differently.
realies wrote: » I know of a couple who are still madly in love, who go everywhere together etc etc, except they don't have a sexual relationship.The male goes to a escort at least twice a month. When i asked him what does his partner say, he says they have both come to the conclusion that she is not intrested in sex,just doesent like it,not bothered anymore with it.So he does what he does and she doesent question it, Its not a discussion they have more like an acceptance, They seem on the outside a quite happy couple.
