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I have a different standpoint. Heckle me.

dMaN24

I posted this a few hours ago.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=82321575

I received a "chin up, you will have kids soon" and my thread locked "for review"

In the same category we have "You are not alone this Christmas."

I could be dead by now. ****. What's stopping me. I have a perfect lock up here:
https://maps.google.com/maps?q=lock+suir+road&aq=f&sugexp=chrome,mod%3D5&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&sa=N&tab=wl

One swan dive and all you need is your ****ing r.i.p.

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HondaSami

dMaN24 wrote: »

Trading places. Smoked salmon. You i like.
I could bring tea.

I could bring chocolate cake and ice cream.

dMaN24

I would never ever ever piss talk about suicide.
That i the same as crying rape when your date is bad.

I'm serious.

HondaSami

dMaN24 wrote: »

I would never ever ever piss talk about suicide.
That i the same as crying rape when your date is bad.

I'm serious.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056241245

Please phone one of these helplines, we cannot help you here, we can talk but we are not professionals and might say the wrong thing.
Please just take care.

Smidge

dMaN24 wrote: »

I would never ever ever piss talk about suicide.
That i the same as crying rape when your date is bad.

I'm serious.

Well then man,I'm taking you as serious.
You need to pick up the phone and call someone, anyone.
If you have no-one(and I know how that feels for some folks)
Ring the Samaritans
Great people on the line there, non judgemental and are always happy just to chat(believe it or not, that's what they do, chat)

I wish with hind sight that my relative had called someone, anyone before they took their own life.
It's a phone call that can help save your life(even if you are only low at the minute)

dMaN24

Gotta go..

HondaSami

dMaN24 wrote: »

Gotta go..

Take care, come back tomorrow and let us know how you are please

Smidge

dMaN24 wrote: »

Gotta go..

On a note before you go....
I'm the parent to 2 special needs kids
Its Christmas and it stresses them out(hence why I am nite duty)

I lost a family member when they were 21
I was with that person 2 days before, never suspected a thing.

Don't do something in haste because the moment is rough
I have more than enough rough moments every day to last for us all:)

Come back tomorrow, things WILL BE DIFFERENT I swear:)

Glenn Coco

Hope you're still reading this.
Didn't know if you we're serious or not either OP, so have stayed awake to follow the thread and see. See what this means? It means I care, and plenty of others do too.
I feel down a lot, especially at Christmas, so I get it. I can see you're frustrated that you're not being taken seriously, but that's Internet forums for ya.
Maybe writing all this down is helping you in a way? How about emailing jo@samaritans.org, and they will be back in touch within 24 hours, what's another 24 hours, eh?
If not ring the Samaritans directly, the number was posted earlier. They'll ring you back. Hope you're ok, PM or come back to let us know.

dMaN24

I'm shaking, shivering. "Come back tomorrow" makes me chuckle.
This isn't me. I am normally a strong person. I hate suicides. It's for the weak.
I keep thinking of my mother. Who i cherish. ****. Sorry.

This isn't me. I would never have my legs in this cold water....
Just sitting here makes it weird.

**** it. Maybe i should go home.

HondaSami

dMaN24 wrote: »

I'm shaking, shivering. "Come back tomorrow" makes me chuckle.
This isn't me. I am normally a strong person. I hate suicides. It's for the weak.
I keep thinking of my mother. Who i cherish. ****. Sorry.

This isn't me. I would never have my legs in this cold water....
Just sitting here makes it weird.

**** it. Maybe i should go home.

I think you should go home too. Im cold sitting here and can't go to bed until I know you are in bed.

Indubitable

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=75955119

Smidge

dMaN24 wrote: »

I'm shaking, shivering. "Come back tomorrow" makes me chuckle.
This isn't me. I am normally a strong person. I hate suicides. It's for the weak.
I keep thinking of my mother. Who i cherish. ****. Sorry.

This isn't me. I would never have my legs in this cold water....
Just sitting here makes it weird.

**** it. Maybe i should go home.

Suicide is not for the weak.
Its for the broken, people who have found something in their lives that they think they cannot fix.
Everything can be mended, everything.

I really, really hope that you are not taking the mickey because I would not consider it trolling.
I would consider it very cruel to people who have lived through an awful thing.

Smidge

HondaSami wrote: »

I think you should go home too. Im cold sitting here and can't go to bed until I know you are in bed.

Can I go to bed now too???:o

HondaSami

Smidge wrote: »

Can I go to bed now too???:o

No one is going to bed until we know he is ok, when he posts and says he will go home and sleep on it then we will sleep.

Smidge

HondaSami wrote: »

No one is going to bed until we know he is ok, when he posts and says he will go home and sleep on it then we will sleep.

Okay:)

CianRyan

Hey man, even if I'm not in the same position as yourself I can under stand the stresses of feeling like **** and having no one to talk to.
My only advice is to find some one, anyone and just shoot the ****, tell them how you feel. If you are drinking, stop. It won't help and will likely make you feel worse.
Myself and many others have gone through tough times and I at least have come out the other side and am now very happy.
I hope you're doing alright next time you read this and I hope you look for professionally help, for me anyway, it was worth it.

As for Monday and Tuesday, I sometimes wish Christmas would just stop too.

I like the family aspect but I HATE all of this present crap, I wish it was never thought up. The stress of being unemployed and having to spend what little money I have to buy people gifts they may have no interest in, walking around any shopping centre or in town and every dick head out there just looks through up, bumps into you and heads for the next bargain. UGH!!
Then the sitting around for hours after dinner, the people who are proud of drinking before breakfast and not stopping 'till it's time to go back to work. You're not an alcoholic the rest of the year, why at Christmas?!
I'm with you, OP. **** this Christmas spirit. Let's just focus on enjoy life one day at a time.

Feel better, dude.

Smidge

There you go OP,
People you don't know are on this site CARING about you.

Surely that has to be worth something???

If a stranger/s is willing to stay up half the night to make sure you are ok, surely you can see that there is some hope??

Glenn Coco

Still here OP.

Smidge

Glenn Coco wrote: »

Still here OP.

As am I.

Little Acorn

dMaN24 wrote: »

I'm shaking, shivering. "Come back tomorrow" makes me chuckle.
This isn't me. I am normally a strong person. I hate suicides. It's for the weak.
I keep thinking of my mother. Who i cherish. ****. Sorry.

This isn't me. I would never have my legs in this cold water....
Just sitting here makes it weird.

**** it. Maybe i should go home.

Yes you should go home! You'll catch a cold in water at this time of night! Go Home Now!

In all seriousness, if you are in a dangerous place right now I really do think you should go home, dry yourself off, and pick up the phone and call somebody for help! Is your Mum alive? Could you call her if she is? If not call a professional helpline.

You CAN be that strong person you say you usually are again, but only if you continue living and fight to get that person back.

If you're gone then that part of yourself that you like is also gone forever.

Give yourself a chance to fix things and get back on track.
Anything is possible with some work and a lot of help, but you have to ask for that help from family or professionals.

Now seriously skedaddle and get home!

dMaN24

Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

CianRyan

Yeah people were being straight up rude snd quite cruel in the last thread.
That's the problem with message boards, people can really separate themselves from what is very real on the other side.
IMO, that shouldn't have been allowed go for as long as it did.

The TV thing like, pathetic what they were like really.

HondaSami

dMaN24 wrote: »

Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

Yes you do and we are trying our best, you have made the first step by asking for help and there is help out there. Phone one of the numbers I linked now,
Professionals can talk to you better than we can. If you are in the water get out of it now and make that call.

[Deleted User]

I'll regret putting this up, as a few real-life people know who I am on here, but sure, anyway..

OP, if you're contemplating suicide, you need to get outside. Ring the Samaritans if you wish, but as a secondary measure, primarily: just get outside. Do something, anything, involving people (involving people is the point to stress!).

I was horribly depressed a few years ago. Had left school early, lost touch with friends, had no job, every day was the same as the next, felt like I was going nowhere and genuinely contemplated suicide. Truth be told, it's a thought that'd still cross my mind when I have long periods of boredom (and unfortunately, although rarer, I still have them).

I was obese, friendless, had no hobbies or interests and was too afraid to do anything. These days I'm still obese, relatively friendless, but thankfully have picked up a camera in the mean time and ended up getting into photography in a serious way.

I started out photographing about the town at all hours of the morning (so I wouldn't bump into people, and could be on my own) and these days I rarely take a photograph that doesn't have a person in it. I love photos of people.

I'd still be timid in that I won't do anything unusual or out of place, and I can't go anywhere without a purpose (ie; i can't just go for a night out to a pub or such somewhere, as I feel that everyone is just looking at me, even though I know they're not, and I can't make small talk with new people so I avoid it). Whereas with a camera strapped to me I feel I have a purpose to be places.

The process of going from sitting at home in a horrible mental state, to today where I'm much more outgoing (though admittedly still not very outgoing and do feel very anxious at times) has taken about 6 years. Even today I look back at those six years as an utter waste. I could have done so much with that time and yet I did nothing (And continue to do nothing about negative aspects of my current life).

Ringing the Samaritans is a good idea (though personally, when I felt depressed, I certainly couldn't bring myself to phone a stranger just to chat, so I don't know how useful that advice really is) but get outside. As silly as it sounds: my advice is to join a voluntary group/club.

It's extremely difficult to walk into a room of strangers, I know that, so do what I did; find a group you like, and find someone involved in that group on Facebook (it's easy to send someone a facebook message

). Ask them about the organisation and what you need to do to join. People love to see others taking an interest in their voluntary efforts, and most voluntary units/charities, etc. welcome people with open arms.

Get talking to the person and arrange to meet them at an upcoming meeting or event that the organisation have on. This way you've got someone to break the ice with and who will introduce you to other people within the group. You'll sit there in silence like a tit for a while, but you'll be okay. There'll be no real embarrassment (i say this because, obviously everyone has a different mindset, but I always had a sense of dread walking into places, like something horribly embarrassing was going to happen - but it never did).

After a while your people skills get a bit better and you meet more and new people. It's a very slow process, but it happens.

Alternatively, if you're unemployed: FAS! Fas Courses are an excellent, excellent way to meet people. You either get stuck in a room with people who have a similar interest to you and you can make small talk and over the duration of the course make friends, or you get stuck in a room with a bunch of people with no interest in being there at all, and you get to overhear and occasionally join in to some great banter.

The first steps are extremely difficult. And I know first-hand that a post on the internet about what someone else did is easy to ignore and generally a waste of time. You don't know me, and I don't know you, so it's easy for me to throw out advice, but I will be honest, things always do get better, but it's a feckin' tedious process.

Profile says you're from Dublin 8, and I'm not at all familiar with Dublin, but if you get in touch with a boardsie from your general area I'm sure someone would be happy to kill an hour or two with you to help get your mind off things.

Alternatively, if you're in/around Drogheda at all, send me a message and I'd be happy to meet you somewhere. Sure, grab a camera and we'll do a bit of photography together

(and this is a genuine serious offer, so if you're at all interested, even only mildly - send me a message).

And if it makes you feel any better, Christmas day will be a tedious and boring day for a lot of people, myself included (I don't drink, and everyone just seems to get locked). Do what I do: Stick on Planes, Trains and Automobiles and take your mind off things for a little while.

For the moment though, get into a nice warm bed. Get some sleep, and approach tomorrow as the fresh start that it is. I'd be lying if I said you'll wake up tomorrow and be the happiest person in the world, but it's entirely a mental challenge. Set yourself a goal of some sort, no matter how small, and accomplish it. Whether it's going for a walk or cleaning the bathroom, completing a TV series you're watching or buying yourself a DVD/Game/whatever, just set out to do something tomorrow. Ideally, do something to benefit someone else. I always found, and still do find, I feel better when I see someone else happy. Go out and get something nice for someone else. If you don't have money to be spending on other people (which is fair enough) then just help them out with something. Their reaction will cheer you up - I guarantee it

Glenn Coco

dMaN24 wrote: »

Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

That's the first step dMaN24, now we just need to figure out what's the quickest way of getting you some help. Have you tried the numbers given, have you credit in your phone? If not 999 because this is an emergency. Is there anyone nearby that you can go to, or they can come to you? Thanks for updating us.

Sittingpretty

dMaN24 wrote: »

Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

I'm a mother. PLEASE think of your mom. Don't make her endure the horror of THAT phone call. I can tell you, if she knew her son was feeling like this she would move heaven and earth to take the sting away.

Please OP, there are people that care about you. Even us few faceless people here, all awake for our own reasons.

If you have been drinking, stop now. Wherever you are, get yourself home and into your warm, cosy bed. Eat something small and have some water and sleep a little. Promise yourself that when you wake and open your eyes you will look for some help to make your life easier, there is help, there are people that can understand and can help. You may not feel it now but there is a new start out there for you.

Please, get yourself home soon

HondaSami

dMaN24 wrote: »

Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=console%20free%20phone%20number&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CC4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.console.ie%2Findex.php%3Fcontentid%3DNational-Freephone-Helpline%26sectionid%3Dservices&ei=z__TUPfILYmBhQeT3oHABQ&usg=AFQjCNFUoVkny0m7-fIIFGQ6w-h4tDpKyw

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=freephone%20suicide%20helpline&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&ved=0CEkQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.1life.ie%2F&ei=9ADUUNfgHpODhQfE-YHQBA&usg=AFQjCNHOEOwUTvCphk1IdwaSyCuB1RlJFg

There is a freephone number here.

dMaN24

I'm home.
Sorry for possibly messing up your christmas.
I should go to bed now.
The water was really cold.
I wouldn't dare calling my mother at this stage.
i feel stupid.

Sorry.

Glenn Coco

dMaN24 wrote: »

I'm home.
Sorry for possibly messing up your christmas.
I should go to bed now.
The water was really cold.
I wouldn't dare calling my mother at this stage.
i feel stupid.

Sorry.

Don't feel stupid! I'm delighted you're home, now get some sleep and I will too.
Call your mother when it suits you, well done on getting yourself home. You've ruined nothing. Feel free to PM me at anytime, when you feel ready, I'll help in any way I can.
Fair play for getting yourself home, and thanks for letting us know.

IM0

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

In before the Lock......

ah I wish you didnt bold it

jokes work better when they are less obvious

instead of a 10 you get an 8 for it for that reason