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Secret Diary of a Dublin Call Girl

neuro-praxis

http://secretdiaryofadublincallgirl.wordpress.com/

This was linked to by JuliusCaesar in the other thread currently running about prostitution ("Would you?"), but I felt it is such compelling reading for Irish women that it deserved a re-post here.

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fatmammycat

Emme wrote: »

I have read your posts throughout this thread Eileen, and would be very surprised if you weren't working behind the scenes for the pro-prostitution lobby.

I believe DCG's blog is real. I suffered date rape myself some years ago and went through hell afterwards. I was just over 30 at the time! After the rape I became a magnet for predatory men of all kinds. Experiences like this can leave "vulnerable" and "abuse me" written all over a person and draws abusers in. I don't know why, but it does.

DCG's blog really resonated with me and made me understand some of the feelings, reactions and behaviours that I went through in the years after the rape. It made more sense to me than all the therapy I had. I didn't turn to prostitution after the rape but I went through experiences that made me sympathise with prostitutes. Indeed I thought that I was so worthless that men were only sleeping with me because they were too mean to pay for a hooker!

DCG was raped when she was very young. Then she met a much older man who recognised her vulnerability and dragged her down further. This are very plausible experiences and I believe that DCG is real.

Some of the responses on these thread denigrating DCG are sinister and show an underlying misogyny. Neuro-praxis and Fatmammycat, to name a few, make sense but other responses here confirm my opinion that boards can be a very misogynist place.

Anybody who has worked as a prostitute must be extremely hardened or in denial if they cannot empathise and identify with the experiences of DCG.

I'm sorry you went through something like that and glad to read you came out the other side. It's devastating to be so abused, not everyone has the fortitude to speak of it so bluntly. It's one of the things I identified with DCG too, and glad she is equally as forthright in what she says.

Emme

fatmammycat wrote: »

I'm sorry you went through something like that and glad to read you came out the other side. It's devastating to be so abused, not everyone has the fortitude to speak of it so bluntly. It's one of the things I identified with DCG too, and glad she is equally as forthright in what she says.

Thanks. DCG's blog is clearly from somebody who has been abused. Perhaps she is more fortunate than she thinks as she came out the other side being able to leave prostitution and feeling indignation and rage at how she has been treated over the years.

If she did not feel enraged and instead stayed in prostitution and continued to justify her experiences there she would be in a far worse place.

Badhb

Its a great pity Sally J closed her account. I hope she comes back.

Not all of the lurkers here share the same opionions as the posters on thread.

JaneOrange

fatmammycat wrote: »

I'm sorry you went through something like that and glad to read you came out the other side. It's devastating to be so abused, not everyone has the fortitude to speak of it so bluntly. It's one of the things I identified with DCG too, and glad she is equally as forthright in what she says.

I love the comments on the blog from women that have found themselves in similar situations. Or that can relate to the emotional damage that abuse and prostitution can have.

I think that's why it's so important. You can nearly hear these women sighing with relief, like FINALLY someone is say what they've always thought but never felt safe enough to say out loud. I hope DCG continues to speak her mind so bluntly and share her experiences amidst the small amount of negativity online. It must be quite weird to know so many people are reading your online diary and having such a strong reaction to it, whether it be positive or negative.

I like the line ' This is where I have a voice, this is where I can say the truth.'

And that's it, it's her voice, her experience. And you can't really argue with someone else's experience. Others can hopefully learn from it though.

Badhb

Eileen_Lang wrote: »

I very much doubt if "The Sunday Times" would be in a position to validate DCG's blog in any meaningful sense...much less have any reason to...

:rolleyes:

Are you sure about this?

Eileen_Lang

Badhb wrote: »

Are you sure about this?

Not a doubt in my mind...unless they have a policy of stalking random teenagers for a decade or so on the off chance they do something newsworthy, and I doubt that. :rolleyes:

Babybuff

http://twitter.com/#!/JohnMooneyST/status/171362093268873217

Eileen_Lang

Babybuff wrote: »

http://twitter.com/#!/JohnMooneyST/status/171362093268873217

That doesn't really prove a thing...because he has no way of knowing if what he is asserting (in such a general way) is true...that's just his best guess.

What about linking the ST article?

(Sorry, the ST is now pay per view...and by direct debit, not credit card too...so no link )

JaneOrange

https://twitter.com/#!/JohnMooneyST/status/168275335119515648

Oh come on. John Mooney is a well respected and very credible journalist, he knows the woman behind the blog. He wouldn't waste his time on a it if he had any suspicion of it being fake. I'd believe him over Eileen any day. It's real, get over it. (excuse my arrogant tone..)

astrofool

Eileen_Lang wrote: »

But you are not disputing that someone should be looking at what those statistics mean? Or suggesting there is merit in just ignoring them?

The fact they are compiled in the first place means that someone will be trying to ascertain what the statistics mean, otherwise, they wouldn't have spent lots of money compiling the information. They also already have an explanation as to why the headline figure jumped, so they have been analysed.

What I do dispute is someone using those statistics in an argument, when they clearly haven't done any research into them, bar looking at the headline figures.

Stella Marr

Sally J wrote: »

Sorry but I just HAD to respond to this comment. Eileen, I KNOW DUBLINCALLGIRL PERSONALLY and because I do, I know damn well that you don't, because if you did you wouldn't even think of writing nonsense like the above.

Her blog is valid, her experiences are valid, SHE is valid, regardless how little these realities suit your perspective and agenda.

No doubt your delusion will prompt you to doubt that I'm telling the truth. You might be able to lie to people on here about knowing DCG but you won't be able to lie to me. If you'd like to have a shot send me a pm describing how she looks, sounds, dresses and other personal details about her life not posted in her blog. Your nonsense about knowing her blog is not valid will not last five seconds with me and you know it.

And for the record, Neuro-Praxis has restored my faith in humanity by the way s/he has posted on this thread. Of all the responses nobody else has really 'got' this issue as thoroughly as that.

I completely agree with Sally

Nothing is more threatening to the sex industry lobby than eloquent, empowered survivors. Hence all the attacks.

Stella Marr

Dublin Call Girl is a brilliant and fiercely honest writer.

Re Eileen's comment: Also, woman who opts in to review without knowing that somebody will say her breasts are too small, sooner or later, and perhaps regularly, should probably not be allowed out without a keeper!

I must say this comment sounds like it came from a pimp Eileen -- I am not saying you are one, mind you -- but it's very creepy and very very strange coming from a prostitution survivor. The vast majority of us treat each other with compassion, like soldiers who were injured in the same battle.

Dublin Call Girl is writing about the attitudes of men toward prostituted women. The reviews are very revealing about the men. That's the point. Not whether or not she wants to read the reviews. She's an artist.

Stella Marr

Actually Maple, there's nothing disingenuous about what Sally's saying. As a prostitution survivor, I know from experience that nothing is more threatening to Johns and the sex industry lobby than eloquent, empowered survivors speaking out. Every time one of us dares tell the truth about our experiences we're dragged through the mud. It's not debate, it's an attack. It would not be tolerated if we were privileged women talking about an abusive boyfriend or a sexual assault. But it is gleefully allowed because we're members of the prostituted class -- and thus seen as subhuman by many.

Emme

Stella Marr wrote: »

Dublin Call Girl is a brilliant and fiercely honest writer.

Re Eileen's comment: Also, woman who opts in to review without knowing that somebody will say her breasts are too small, sooner or later, and perhaps regularly, should probably not be allowed out without a keeper!

I must say this comment sounds like it came from a pimp Eileen -- I am not saying you are one, mind you -- but it's very creepy and very very strange coming from a prostitution survivor. The vast majority of us treat each other with compassion, like soldiers who were injured in the same battle.

Dublin Call Girl is writing about the attitudes of men toward prostituted women. The reviews are very revealing about the men. That's the point. Not whether or not she wants to read the reviews. She's an artist.

That struck me too, Stella. I suggested that she might be working for the pro-prostitution lobby and she didn't deny it.

Stella Marr

"Eileen Lang" exists only for this issue...and it would be wrong to pretend otherwise.

Eileen that says it all.

Stella Marr

Emme wrote: »

That struck me too, Stella. I suggested that she might be working for the pro-prostitution lobby and she didn't deny it.

Yes -- the personal attacks, denial of violence, and dogged effort to propagate misinformation are the sex industry lobby's signature. And she said "Eileen Lang exists only for this issue":(

Maple

Stella Marr wrote: »

Actually Maple, there's nothing disingenuous about what Sally's saying. As a prostitution survivor, I know from experience that nothing is more threatening to Johns and the sex industry lobby than eloquent, empowered survivors speaking out. Every time one of us dares tell the truth about our experiences we're dragged through the mud. It's not debate, it's an attack. It would not be tolerated if we were privileged women talking about an abusive boyfriend or a sexual assault. But it is gleefully allowed because we're members of the prostituted class -- and thus seen as subhuman by many.

Perhaps you could reread my post. The disingenuous comment was in relation to the ladies lounge forum.

Eileen_Lang

Nothing is more threatening to self indulgent, attention seekers than a mouthy ex-hooker who actually cares about the very real women who depend on selling sex to keep a roof over their childrens' heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs...in a recession that will not be offering them alternatives.

...and will literally NEVER give up trying to protect them as best she can...

(I'd Better set StellaMarr to "ignore" - if you want to know why I cannot take a word she says seriously read her vanity blogs

)

Eileen_Lang

Emme wrote: »

That struck me too, Stella. I suggested that she might be working for the pro-prostitution lobby and she didn't deny it.

I do not want to see privileged people indulging their ideological fads at the expense of vulnerable women who really need the money they get from selling sex in a recession...

I am pro-choice and pro-sex worker...and very proud I have the guts and integrity to stand up for both...and keep standing up for them.

:):)

(PS I also despise pimps and have stood up to them a few times too)

Maple

Eileen_Lang wrote: »

(I'd Better set StellaMarr to "ignore" - if you want to know why I cannot take a word she says seriously read her vanity blogs )

That's enough. Those blogs are of no relevance here. Anymore remarks like that and you will be banned.

Maple

Ectoplasm

'Real' or not, this blog has opened my eyes and I now have to admit that I've probably been pretty naive about this subject. I've always been ambivalent as regards prostitution, wavering between 'it's exploitation' and 'it's their body, their choice'. If I'm being very honest, I'm still not sure where I stand, even after reading this.

What this blog opened my eyes to is how these 'punters' see those involved, and that genuinely shocked me. The post on the reviews had me checking to see if that could actually be real...and yeah it is...and yeah, those involved really are so dehumanised to be thought of in terms of merchandise.

The language used also surprised me, the term 'civilians' for those not actively involved just struck me as a desperate effort to normalise what these people are doing.

An interesting read, thanks for posting the link OP.

Stella Marr

Maple wrote: »

Perhaps you could reread my post. The disingenuous comment was in relation to the ladies lounge forum.

Mea Culpa Maple. I was online too early this AM. My mistake.

[Deleted User]

I have to say that blog is one of the most disturbing things I have ever read!

Stella Marr

EMF2010 wrote: »

The language used also surprised me, the term 'civilians' for those not actively involved just struck me as a desperate effort to normalise what these people are doing.

Good observation. I never noticed that -- but that is what we were trying to do when we used worlds like 'civilians'-- we wanted our lives to make sense somehow -- and we wanted to feel we belonged somewhere, even though we were reviled by almost everyone

Emme

Eileen_Lang wrote: »

Nothing is more threatening to self indulgent, attention seekers than a mouthy ex-hooker who actually cares about the very real women who depend on selling sex to keep a roof over their childrens' heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs...in a recession that will not be offering them alternatives.

...and will literally NEVER give up trying to protect them as best she can...

(I'd Better set StellaMarr to "ignore" - if you want to know why I cannot take a word she says seriously read her vanity blogs )

Does this mouthy ex-hooker care so much about the very real women that she does them a favour and pimps them out? Takes a substantial cut of the earnings which are to go towards keeping a roof over their children's heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs? Tells them that the deal she is offering them is the best they can get, and there is no other way of supporting their children in a recession?

Eileen Lang, I hope you are not a pimp, but I strongly suspect that you could be.

Millicent

Emme wrote: »

Does this mouthy ex-hooker care so much about the very real women that she does them a favour and pimps them out? Takes a substantial cut of the earnings which are to go towards keeping a roof over their children's heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs? Tells them that the deal she is offering them is the best they can get, and there is no other way of supporting their children in a recession?

Eileen Lang, I hope you are not a pimp, but I strongly suspect that you could be.

Jesus, that's a bit much. Eileen has said she does not like pimps in previous posts. Just because everybody does not agree with her stance, does not give anyone licence to cast aspersions on her. Her opinion and experiences are just as valid as DCG's, whether people agree with her views or not.

Stella Marr

Emme wrote: »

Does this mouthy ex-hooker care so much about the very real women that she does them a favour and pimps them out? Takes a substantial cut of the earnings which are to go towards keeping a roof over their children's heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs? Tells them that the deal she is offering them is the best they can get, and there is no other way of supporting their children in a recession?

QUOTE]

Good point.

Stella Marr

Mind you, I'm not talking about Eileen specifically here -- but it's a big problem for prostitution/'trafficking survivors that female and male pimps often pose as the prostituteds' protectors and do everything they can to dominate any discussion. Most 'sex worker unions' are headed by male of female pimps. For example, the head of the International Union of Sex Workers is a male pimp who owns the largest escort service in London. You can read more about that at this link -- scroll down to the section about unions:
http://ssy.org.uk/2010/09/prostitution-the-abolition-of-the-victim-and-post-modernisms-defence-of-the-status-quo/

No one would accept a diamond mine owner claiming to be a miner because he occasionally walked through the mine. No one would tolerate him being the head of the miners' union. Yet this is the situation in 'sex worker unions' worldwide. They all accept Johns/Punters and pimps (male or female -- brothel owners, 'managers' escort agency owners). Much of the union money goes towards defending pimps and Punters rather than the prostituted women.

Eileen_Lang

Emme wrote: »

Does this mouthy ex-hooker care so much about the very real women that she does them a favour and pimps them out? Takes a substantial cut of the earnings which are to go towards keeping a roof over their children's heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs? Tells them that the deal she is offering them is the best they can get, and there is no other way of supporting their children in a recession?

Eileen Lang, I hope you are not a pimp, but I strongly suspect that you could be.

Don't be so ridiculous Emme.

Does it ever cross your mind that a lot of the women who sell sex only do so because they live in the real world and have already learned for themselves, the hardest way, that they have no alternative?
Does it ever cross your mind that the things you say might be very insulting to the hundreds of sex workers who have minds, and spirits and would never let a pimp anywhere near them?
Does it ever cross your mind that not even a pimp would do anything as inhuman as fight to take the whole of the women's income away and leave them with nothing but a handful of empty, dishonest, platitudes to feed their children and keep a roof over their heads?

Eileen_Lang

Millicent wrote: »

Jesus, that's a bit much. Eileen has said she does not like pimps in previous posts. Just because everybody does not agree with her stance, does not give anyone licence to cast aspersions on her. Her opinion and experiences are just as valid as DCG's, whether people agree with her views or not.

Thank you Millicent...thank you so much.