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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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lawra

I have one in particular on my newsfeed who I can't bear to hide because i find the posts entertaining...here's a few:

":-) but :-( how confusing is life lol"

"the thing you have to remember about this day and age its not like it use to be you use to treat people as you would like to be treated but no not any more its more like treat people like **** while some of us bend over backwards to help other people""

To top it all off, his mother comments underneath every status with "wats up son?? b strong, ur a great person"...ffs

ALSO anyone and everyone who says the word "collage"...if you can't spell college right, you shouldn't fricking be going!

Dan133269

lawra wrote: »

I have one in particular on my newsfeed who I can't bear to hide because i find the posts entertaining...here's a few:

":-) but :-( how confusing is life lol"

"the thing you have to remember about this day and age its not like it use to be you use to treat people as you would like to be treated but no not any more its more like treat people like **** while some of us bend over backwards to help other people""

To top it all off, his mother comments underneath every status with "wats up son?? b strong, ur a great person"...ffs

ALSO anyone and everyone who says the word "collage"...if you can't spell college right, you shouldn't fricking be going!

Lol I knew a fella who went to college, got a 1st class honours degree in college, and yes, he couldn't spell college. He used to spell it collage. Needless to say he wasn't studying English. Sound fella though.

az2wp0sye65487

I randomly read through a couple of pages in this thread and found a lot of the posts entertaining... I haven't read through all the posts though so I don't know if this has been brought up before.

Annoying parents who update their status as a message to their kids, most of whom don't have a Facebook account themselves!

Examples:

"Congratulations to my son little Johnny on winning the U 7's Cup this morning - Mammy's so proud of you" - This is usually followed by all the other retarded friends & family posting underneath: "Well done little Johnny you're doin us proud blah blah blah..."

"Happy birthday to my daughter little Mary who is 3 today, I love you darling" - Followed by the barage of well-wishers: "Happy Birthday little Mary" etc....

Fcuk off!

I'm guessing that these are the sort of annoying people who are generally avoided as they have nothing to talk about except their kids!

ElleEm

Last night, someone on my Friend's List wrote a happy birthday message to her boyfriend (who she lives with!), even though his birthday wasn't til today. She wanted him to have it on the morning of his birthday, even though she lives with him and would have been sittin beside him writing the message.

sock puppet

lawra wrote: »

ALSO anyone and everyone who says the word "collage"...if you can't spell college right, you shouldn't fricking be going!

You sure it isn't intentionel?

Woow_Aqualung

I don't know how many people can relate, but for the passed week or so my News Feed has been inundated with statuses along the lines of

"Miss the Gaeltacht sooooo much. Girls of Teach <insert Irish name here> XOXOXO"

And lads have their own variation of that, usually coupled with some in-joke, like "milis", or "BAINNE!"

7sr2z3fely84g5

Alot of people seem to use FB as storage for their family album,which is ok until their page gets hacked or deleted

AnnaVanilla

Posted this Sunday:

"Who cares about Norway, put some Tour de France on for f***'s sake"

20 angry comments later, he deleted the post again...

Woow_Aqualung

Ephraim Wailing Indigo wrote: »

Alot of people seem to use FB as storage for their family album,which is ok until their page gets hacked or deleted

A deleted Facebook account? Oh that'll never happen

Fozzydog3

''hate ***** da shi outta dem for nun an tink der all hard caus da ppl de do be wi seriously scarla for ya makin a dope outta urself haha''

fckin foreigners your'e in our country now speak english

Kotek Besar

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

''hate ***** da shi outta dem for nun an tink der all hard caus da ppl de do be wi seriously scarla for ya makin a dope outta urself haha''

fckin foreigners your'e in our country now speak english

Your post invokes lulz on many levels.

wonderfulname

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

''hate ***** da shi outta dem for nun an tink der all hard caus da ppl de do be wi seriously scarla for ya makin a dope outta urself haha''

fckin foreigners your'e in our country now speak english

Maybe I'm getting old but the mixture of txt, slang, and a general disregard for the English language seems a language unto itself for me, translation anyone?

ratmouse

I do not understand people putting a hundred xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (kisses) at the end of their status update. Why?!

animan

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

''hate ***** da shi outta dem for nun an tink der all hard caus da ppl de do be wi seriously scarla for ya makin a dope outta urself haha

I hate people that spread stuff for no reason and think they're tough because of the people they hang around with. I'm actually embarrassed for you making yourself look stupid.
I think thats what it says. Ashamed that I understood that

Duddy

Crash on M50, traffic blocked for 40 minutes each way.

Great. Thanks for that.

notwise

A guy I know did this Iron Man competition, half way through:
"Just finished the swim and cycle, just about to start the run, it's tough but doing well"
What the F!ck!
turns out it was his girlfriend who did that but that's even Sadder!!

There's soo many people I should really delete, but the truth is they make me feel good about myself.. at least I'm half normal!

Shane L

girls who put up status' that can only be replied to by their boyfriends
ones that start with "why does everything go wrong for me yada yada "
"today I found out who my real friends are"
"I'm bored"

Thankfully these are the types of people I've only added just to be nice if they were my real friends i'f crack.

SarahBeep!

The best one is when the 'yung 1z' abbreviate

and all

to

anal

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

hatetherain!

I've know this girl for years and am friends with her on Facebook, in reality she good fun and quiet nice.
But when she's on Facebook she drives me bloody demented, I get so fukcing annoyed I want to slap her! Every status update or comment she makes is followed by ...xxx me!
We all know her bloody name is <name here> and that's it's not "me".

"had a great day at the beach today.....xxx me!"

"happy Christmas everyone ....xxxx me!"

"ok so hatetherain! I'll meet you at 2pm tomorrow ...xxx me!"

Everything she writes has her bloody name next to it.....or hasn't she noticed!

It make me so angry....I'm even angry now typing this out

Can't defriend her cause as I said she actually quiet normal and nice in real life

Facebook has cast a "your now a silly 34 years old woman acting like a 13year old girl" spell on her

TPD

denhaagenite wrote: »

Every second update a quote from Paolo Coehlo. I can also read books, thanks.

The worst are Paolo Coehlo's own posts, thousands of comments from people trying to sound deep, I'm guessing in the hope that he'll read them and feel inspired or some shit.

EarlERizer

"Thank you for logging in ...."

I hate everything about the poxy thing,absolutely hate it,and those that bang on about "I only use it for blah blah blah bolloxology" I cant stand how people have ....

d'yaknow what, I can't be ar$ed .

Farcebook - Fookoff! :mad:

Samich

A girl updating her status everyday "would love a chinese" or supermacs etc etc. Maybe that's why you're a beached whale.

HayZ 3426

"Just Sippin Some Protein Down Mmmmmm Delicous"
Thats one of the worst status updates in my friend lists

Ardennes1944

The one I hate is..."omg I'm never drinking again!"

Yes you will you ****in muppet you say the same thing every week!!! :mad:

lizardhunt

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Was reasing this all day and what pops up on my fb tonight?
My 13 year old cousin posing in her school uniform with one of those duck faces (that she has in EVERY picture!) and the caption "Meh inn My Uniform Lookin Likee a Lurk :L"

So while I already had to question her ability to speak English I then had to try read the conversation below it:

I am ashamed to be related to her right now...
She is going to be one fun teenager!

Sounds like one of them will be on MTV's Teen moms.

jayteecork

When I play online poker and drink and inevitably lose my shirt well since Facebook is open beside me I of course go into a deranged rant on my status.

If you want an insight into the existential despair of a alco poker player then you're welcome to add me.

batistuta9

This isn't a status update but it's facebook stupidity

I've seen people recently start to delete some people on their friend list, the reason for this is that they think that some people on facebook are just on there to - "be nosey" according to them. A girl posted something along those lines then another replied that she agreed and "they don't even contribute to facebook".
Do you have to make a certain number of posts now to have a FB account?

Today girl 1 posted a status that she had deleted something like 140 people who are nosey & she dosen't chat online with, i've barely spoke to this girl in my life & never online but accepted her friend request because she's a family friend, so going by the fact she added me she probably added all these people in the first place

Apanachi

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

fckin foreigners your'e in our country now speak english

Ah, now if most native speakers would speak (or write) English as good as some of the foreigners do I'd be happy...

Seriously the worst English speakers (or writers) on my FB page have to be my relations in England, seriously folks, you're ENGLISH, you should be able to speak (write) you're own language.

Not that my Irish friends are much better, when I read some of the things that my old school friends write, I just can't believe the stuff they write, I'm talking about people that did honours English for the Leaving Cert who had the same teacher I did and learned the difference between "there/their/they're" just like me... It's not rocket science folks...

...on this note, not being loud is being QUIET not QUITE, how fecking hard can it be, you all went to to school (and yes, I know typos can happen, been prone to that myself a few time - but no, in the case of a lot of my friends they're not typos, they just can't spell, and once again no, they aren't dyslexic - just stupid....!!!!)

/rant over

So, off I go to block my cousin (well at least hide her from my news feed) because now she's back with here boyfriend, and I'm getting status updates from her like, "wish Michael was here now" "want to cuddle with Michael" "wearing Micheal's T-shirt to bed tonight" "love Michael soooooo much" "we just can't keep away from each other, can we" last week it was: "Michael is such a B*****, never want to see him again" etc... he then disappeared from her friends list only to reappear again 8this has been going on for months now, they're grand for two weeks all full of lovey dovey crap, then it's open war on Facebook, followed by deletion, than a week or two later it's back to lovey dovey, "re-friending" then war, then lovey.... (you get the jist, right) All this is of course written in some kind of cocked-up language that is supposed to be English that is next to near impossible to understand...

...She's only 18 though, and I feel like telling her when she finally does grow up and cop on, she'll probably not be with him anymore and will have long forgotten him....

lamai

notwise wrote: »

A guy I know did this Iron Man competition, half way through:
"Just finished the swim and cycle, just about to start the run, it's tough but doing well"
What the F!ck!
turns out it was his girlfriend who did that but that's even Sadder!!

There's soo many people I should really delete, but the truth is they make me feel good about myself.. at least I'm half normal!

Beats stupid comments like "omg i'm soo hungover over"

You should train for an ironman and then you will know where he is coming from.;)

secrecy_ie

Apologies if someone else posted this already:

http://www.lamebook.com