nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Attitudes to Porn... Mod Warning Post 719

This comes up a lot in PI, and I've just read tripe an article in the Daily Mail on the same topic. According to the Daily Fail, porn is as "addictive as cocaine and just as damaging."

Some choice excerpts, do take with a massive pinch of ultra-conservative Daily Mail salt:

Daily Mail wrote:

I suspect thousands of wives who discover their husbands are watching porn are then left with a very modern dilemma: should you forgive them, or throw them out and try to explain to your children why Daddy has gone?

Daily Mail wrote:

According to Layden, online pornography is akin to having an addictive drug pumped into your house for free, 24 hours a day.
And unlike other drugs, which users can get out of their system, pornographic images stay imprinted in the brain.

Daily Mail wrote:

That view supports research by the University of Calgary, which has shown exposure to pornography puts men at an increased risk of developing sexually deviant tendencies and of experiencing difficulties in intimate relationships.

:rolleyes:

Now, this article is purportedly dealing with porn addiction, which is of course a very damaging thing in any marriage or relationship - just like an alcohol addiction or a drug addiction. However, it goes above and beyond in trying to demonise porn and scaremonger amongst women who "allow" their men to watch it.

Leaving all that aside, in the world of the Daily Mail, apparently women don't watch porn at all! It's just men. Women, lock up your husbands, but not in a room with internet access.

Personally, I think porn is very much a harmless diversion (apart from cases of addiction). I believe that most men are capable of using porn without getting addicted, and I believe that it's nothing more than a tool to aid masturbation, or a fun way to spice up couples' sex. I see it as the male equivalent of using a vibrator, and I also think that a lot of women overreact hugely to the idea of their men using porn.

So ladies, what do you reckon? Is porn dangerous? Do you mind if your partner watches it? Has it affected any of your past relationships in a bad way? Do you watch it yourself? Do you think we need to become more open and relaxed about porn, or has it gone too far? Discuss

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

I'm fairly indifferent towards porn. Haven't seen a whole lot, so I wouldn't really speak to the entire industry, but it's not really something I'd ever really think of to watch, alone or with someone else.

As such, I don't really know what I think of my OH watching it. I suppose I wouldn't be thrilled -- not because it was porn, but because I'd much rather us do something that we'd both really enjoy and be into.

shellyboo wrote: »

Indeed I wouldn't bother watching produced, scripted porn really. It i indeed very boring.

Also the fact that pretty much all porn that has a director has the exact same people in it. They might have different names but the women are all plastic-breasted blondes and the guys are all well-built angry bastards. :pac:

My missus gets upset with me if I watch porn without her.

amacachi wrote: »

Also the fact that pretty much all porn that has a director has the exact same people in it. They might have different names but the women are all plastic-breasted blondes and the guys are all well-built angry bastards. :pac:

Ron Jeremy that man is sculpted by the gods :P

I am not into porn at all, and I hate my bf watching it, although my views have changed some-what reading all these. I havnt had much experience with porn. Maby its just me, but i feel that he will still be thinking of the porn(women) while having sex, you know!

i feel that he will still be thinking of the porn(women) while having sex, you know!

I know how you feel, but in fairness, without porn, he could be thinking about people he knows, ex's. celebrities etc. But he is with you and clearly wants to have sex with you!

You'll also notice the vast majority of men(and women) will say that porn hasn't got a patch on sex with their OH.:D

Thanks Fugly

Thinking of it like that... sapose, might make a difference watching it with him :P

Would not be bothered by my bf watching porn. As many posters have already said, it is perfect healthy for one to explore their sexuality etc. I would not consider a guy watching porn to mean that he felt unfulfilled by his partner or anything like that at all.

As for the women don't watch porn, that is bullsh*t!

On the topic of porn making men think that women should do X and Y in the bedroom, I don't really think that's true. A lot of things in porn are exagerrated and I think men understand that and no one should ever feel forced into doing something they are not comfortable with just because their OH says "Oh, but it happens in porn all the time".

chester222 wrote: »

I am not into porn at all, and I hate my bf watching it, although my views have changed some-what reading all these. I havnt had much experience with porn. Maby its just me, but i feel that he will still be thinking of the porn(women) while having sex, you know!

Of course he wouldn't! Why would he when he has the real thing right in front of him?

I think where a lot of women go wrong is assuming that porn is the ideal for all men, and real women are second best... that's not the case at all. It's just a fantasy. And there's a huge difference between what you'd like in a fantasy and what you want in real life.

I think my vibrator analogy really holds true. Fun to distract yourself with, but not a patch on the real thing.

chester222 wrote: »

Thanks Fugly Thinking of it like that... sapose, might make a difference watching it with him :P

Try it, at least

You never know, you might enjoy it!

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I consider pornography degrading to both the participants and the viewers because it is the industrialisation or commodification of the human person's most intimate self! I don't think that body and spirit (or heart or soul or whatever you might call it) are separate entities. I think that whatever is done to your body affects your spirit. If anyone I loved became a porn star I would be very sad and worried, even if they said they were happy. To have filmed sex in public for money is simply not, as far as I can see, what we were made for. To participate through masturbation in it is to be implicit in saying that it's ok for human beings just to consider themselves meatbags for moneymaking.

I completely agree with everything said by neuro-praxis. Well put!

I have yet to see one mans hard drive that DIDNT have porn on it.

What about those randy books women read...
Just causes its not Pics doesn't mean its not porn!

for example Champagne Kisses by Amanda Brunker.
(Well someone brought the f kin thing.)

What about the very popular Jackie Collins.
I know a couple of married women that are addicted
to the mills and boon blaze collection. (very very hot)

I prefer the Pics, meself.

musicmonky wrote: »

I have yet to see one mans hard drive that DIDNT have porn on it.

What about those randy books women read...
Just causes its not Pics doesn't mean its not porn!

for example Champagne Kisses by Amanda Brunker.
(Well someone brought the f kin thing.)

What about the very popular Jackie Collins.
I know a couple of married women that are addicted
to the mills and boon blaze collection. (very very hot)

I prefer the Pics, meself.

would jackie collins and mills & boon be considered porn???
i would class them as extremely mildly titillating, at best

if i was thinking of "randy books" for women i'd be thinking of the kind published by black lace or nexus

musicmonky wrote: »

I have yet to see one mans hard drive that DIDNT have porn on it.

What about those randy books women read...
Just causes its not Pics doesn't mean its not porn!

for example Champagne Kisses by Amanda Brunker.
(Well someone brought the f kin thing.)

What about the very popular Jackie Collins.
I know a couple of married women that are addicted
to the mills and boon blaze collection. (very very hot)

I prefer the Pics, meself.

There's a subtle difference between erotica and porn I think. Porn tends to be more Hardcore fcuking, while erotica will protray love-making and such!

JC 2K3 wrote: »

Probably the same reason that heterosexual male rape is not considered a big deal.

With the exclusion of homosexual acts, our culture is one where it is quietly thought that men cannot be degraded sexually, and yet female sexual degradation is seen as a huge issue.

tbh, I'm not sure if attitudes need to change to acknowledge that men can get equally sexually degraded, or to acknowledge female sexual degradation as less of a big deal.

I noticed that a female British soldier was accused of several sexual crimes against Iraqi men and "Among the allegations is at least one case of male rape." What is male rape? What happened to "rape is rape"?

ok... maybe not exactly porn. .
but just cause you gave sex a story line doesn't make it slightly pornographic.
which some of these "randy" books are

women fall in love via the ears men via the eyes.

watch this video its an ex porn telling her story.
I dont agree with porn as it destroys relationship and takes the intimacy out of sex and makes sex a means to an end. also some porno give men bad ideas about women and how to treat them and what we like in bed etc. No good comes of it really.

serenacat wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdDjbzcKyZ0
watch this video its an ex porn telling her story.
I dont agree with porn as it destroys relationship and takes the intimacy out of sex and makes sex a means to an end. also some porno give men bad ideas about women and how to treat them and what we like in bed etc. No good comes of it really.

Fixed your link

thanks for fixing my link :-)
ps on her channel she has lots of interesting videos and on her website she interviews alot of ex porn stars

serenacat wrote: »

watch this video its an ex porn telling her story.
I dont agree with porn as it destroys relationship and takes the intimacy out of sex and makes sex a means to an end. also some porno give somemen bad ideas about women and how to treat them and what we like in bed etc. No good comes of it really.

in fairness, the girl in that video is talking absolute bull, of course she hates men, she was a prostitute, that isn't the same as porn at all!

And porn takes no intimacy from sex. None at all. Not for me
at least, and I have seen more porn than you can possibly fathom.

As a whole men tend to realise that porn is make believe! Porn is a way to a fast orgasm alone. That doesn't mean men will treat sex as such!!! I know I don't at least!

serenacat wrote: »

. also some porno give men bad ideas about women and how to treat them and what we like in bed etc. No good comes of it really.

No, it doesn't. Porn doesn't harm men's attitudes at all - those sort of attitudes come from other causes.

Look at this article:
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-12/uom-ate120109.php

Canadian scientist sets out to conclusively see what sort of damage porn has on men. He's worried about the kind of things we've seen cited in this thread - it makes men disrespect women, it gives them an unhealthy view of sex, all that.

What happened? He couldn't find any men who hadn't viewed porn. What cab we conclude from this? ALL men view, or have viewed, porn at some stage. So unless ALL men now have unhealthy views on women and sex, porn cannot be the cause of those views.

Put it another way - if there are men out there who have healthy views on sex and respect women, then porn doesn't cause bad attitudes - because those men also view porn. Men are able to distinguish reality from pornography. Simple as that.

shellyboo wrote: »

No, it doesn't. Porn doesn't harm men's attitudes at all - those sort of attitudes come from other causes.

Look at this article:
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-12/uom-ate120109.php

Canadian scientist sets out to conclusively see what sort of damage porn has on men. He's worried about the kind of things we've seen cited in this thread - it makes men disrespect women, it gives them an unhealthy view of sex, all that.

What happened? He couldn't find any men who hadn't viewed porn. What cab we conclude from this? ALL men view, or have viewed, porn at some stage. So unless ALL men now have unhealthy views on women and sex, porn cannot be the cause of those views.

Put it another way - if there are men out there who have healthy views on sex and respect women, then porn doesn't cause bad attitudes - because those men also view porn. Men are able to distinguish reality from pornography. Simple as that.

To be fair shelly, that is the worst scientific study ever!!

But I do agree with the rest of what you said!

Saying pron effects how we treat women is like saying video games effect how we react in threatening situations. The apparent facts are, it doesn't have any effect on the majority of people.

I would think porn is more likely to effect young girls who watch it than men TBH, as they might see it as what's expected of them.

Originally Posted by Daily Fail
I suspect thousands of wives who discover their husbands are watching porn are then left with a very modern dilemma: should you forgive them, or throw them out and try to explain to your children why Daddy has gone?

I shudder to think what this lady would do to her husband if she caught him actually cheating. The Daily Mail strikes again. :cool:

LZ5by5 wrote: »

I shudder to think what this lady would do to her husband if she caught him actually cheating. The Daily Mail strikes again. :cool:

Ah sure, wasn't he emotionally cheating by watching porn. :rolleyes:

I hate that newspaper!

I think the Daily Fail jumped the shark with ludicrous statements some time ago, and ever since they've been trying to outdo themselves.

minidazzler wrote: »

To be fair shelly, that is the worst scientific study ever!!

But I do agree with the rest of what you said!

.

They drew actual, proper conclusions from if, I just can't find the report online. It's fairly landmark tbh.

serenacat wrote: »

I dont agree with porn as it destroys relationship and takes the intimacy out of sex and makes sex a means to an end.

Sex is a means to an end. Society has just brainwashed you into thinking it's something different.

We are animals with animal instincts. Everything else is made up.

serenacat wrote: »

some porno give men bad ideas about women and how to treat them and what we like in bed etc.

Yeah, I'd say that's possible, although if you want to look at violent porn you already have a problem...

serenacat wrote: »

No good comes of it really.

I remember reading a study a few years ago which showed areas with high Internet access have less rape. The conclusion was that porn was helping potential rapists have a release.

this is to AAARRRGGG
sex is not a means to an end to is to connect and build relationships with each other and form a loving bond. We have evolved to be very sexual beings as through orgasms loving hormones are released. This is why it is called 'making love' so that pair bonding can occur as this is the best way to ensure the best development of the offspring.

I didnt realise that about porn being a release for possible rapist this is the only positive i can see. I take this point

i think for the 'porn stars' the whole working environment is disgusting and for anyone who saw the whole video alot of porn stars start off as prosititutes and for me there is very little difference in the two jobs. And most of the women have very bad relationships with their father and seek male approval it is very damaging for her self worth and esteem. What saddens me most about porn is that so many see if as a social norm and it is more unusual not to watch it.

Another reason why i am against it is because if it's addictive nature you use to to get turned on or get an orgasm and then you can't orgasm without referring back to it this is damaging to relationship.
http://www.shelleylubben.com/pornstars this website has alot of information from porn stars and interviews with them, please be informed about watching porn.

serenacat wrote: »

this is to AAARRRGGG
sex is not a means to an end to is to connect and build relationships with each other and form a loving bond. We have evolved to be very sexual beings as through orgasms loving hormones are released. This is why it is called 'making love' so that pair bonding can occur as this is the best way to ensure the best development of the offspring.

You have a very romantic view of sex, nothing wrong with that, but many people would disagree with you.

Women in porn/prostitutes have a very different opinion of sex than you, hence why they can do something you could never do.

Just because you think it's horrible doesn't mean they do...

serenacat wrote: »

i think for the 'porn stars' the whole working environment is disgusting and for anyone who saw the whole video alot of porn stars start off as prosititutes and for me there is very little difference in the two jobs. And most of the women have very bad relationships with their father and seek male approval it is very damaging for her self worth and esteem. What saddens me most about porn is that so many see if as a social norm and it is more unusual not to watch it.

I used to produce porn, and I used to own a network of porn sites. The industry is nothing like what you think it is. Of course there are some messed up people in it, but there are messed up people in every industry.

If you only get your information from the extremists, it's going to be very hard for you to have a balanced/accurate opinion of the industry.

I recommend you read this book for an intelligent analysis of the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Defending-Pornography-Speech-Womens-Rights/dp/0814781497

AARRRGH wrote: »

You have a very romantic view of sex, nothing wrong with that, but many people would disagree with you.

Women in porn/prostitutes have a very different opinion of sex than you, hence why they can do something you could never do.

Just because you think it's horrible doesn't mean they do...

I used to produce porn, and I used to own a network of porn sites. The industry is nothing like what you think it is. Of course there are some messed up people in it, but there are messed up people in every industry.

If you only get your information from the extremists, it's going to be very hard for you to have a balanced/accurate opinion of the industry.

I recommend you read this book for an intelligent analysis of the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Defending-Pornography-Speech-Womens-Rights/dp/0814781497

most women get into porn/prostitution out of desperation because of poverty and that they have been abused as kids and bad relationship with their father. That girl Sasha grey is a rarity because she seems not to have a messed up childhood and good relationship with her dad. Did you look at site? What is the industry like if it is not what i think it is?

serenacat wrote: »

most women get into porn/prostitution out of desperation because of poverty and that they have been abused as kids and bad relationship with their father. That girl Sasha grey is a rarity because she seems not to have a messed up childhood and good relationship with her dad. Did you look at site? What is the industry like if it is not what i think it is?

This appears to be based on the assumption there is only such a thing as hetrosexual porn. But of course, there is also gay, lesbian and bisexual porn. Do you think people in those industries are also messed up, and do you that should be banned as well?

P.