nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Things you once did but can't anymore.

Pighead

Pighead took off his shoes the other day to find that his new Sex Bomb novelty socks had holes in the big toe area of both. Started cursing and moaning a bit. "Fcuk it, Mam only bought them for me last week. Stupid stinking long toenails." Anyway, went looking for the toe nail clippers but they were nowhere to be found. Searched high and low but they'd obviously been stolen.

Luckily Pighead always has a plan B so he sat down, took off the novelty socks, grabbed his ankle and brought the big toe towards his mouth. That familiar smell started to waft up the old nostrils and Pighead prepared to bite the offending toenail but there was a problem. The toenail was about 6" away from the mouth area making it impossible to bite. How the hell had this happened? Pighead used to be able to do this without breaking sweat. Unfortunately it seems that Pigheads legs have grown at a faster rate than his mouth and he will never again be able to bite his toenails.

What stuff that you used to be able to do in your pomp can't you do anymore?

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

intermittentmay

Pighead wrote: »

Damn passage of time indeed intermittentmay. Back in the day Pighead used to be faster than Usain Bolt as he shimmied up trees here there and everywhere. "Look Mammy, Pigheads a monkey, Oooooh Ooooh Oooh"

Nowadays the reckless abandon has been replaced with fear and trepidation and it takes ten times longer to climb the same blasted tree. But worst of all, when Pighead does finally reach the top and starts acting like a monkey and doing his Oooooh Ooooh Ooohhs, Mammy's no longer at the bottom of the tree smiling up at her dear son. Instead it's the park ranger pointing with a big stick, threatening to throw Pighead out of the park for being drunk.:(

Haha, my god, you have such a fantastic narrative style!

Mr.Lizard

Nothing really. My immaturity has made me an enternal youth sorts - both physically and mentally. Very anti-social but quite an enjoyable existence..

Eric Cartman

acid/mushroooms

drink fortified wine

buy smokes and have enough change from a 10er for a hot chicken roll

climb trees

run for more than a minute

be called thin

OldGoat

intermittentmay wrote: »

Haha, my god, you have such a fantastic narrative style!

Pighead elivated to godhood?
Interesting days ahead as we wait to witness his divine vengance and mighty smighting.

I can't see my feet anymore.

Kiera

Smart Bug wrote: »

I didn't think a man's could until me quare thing inverted from lack of use.

A good Dyson will sort that out.

pierrot

More than one flight of stairs without a rest. Tricky bastards.

raah!

I used to be able to do the splits.... man-splits that is

MagicMarker

See my penis.

Kiera

Kiera wrote: »

A good Dyson will sort that out.

MagicMarker wrote: »

See my penis.

See above

Beruthiel

Climb trees - I spent most of my childhood doing that.
Cycle 30 miles.
Run 10 miles.
Doing anything different without getting that next day muscle pain.
Loads of things.
Thanks for depressing me an a Friday Piggie.
Real thoughtful

meditraitor

OPen a bottle of beer with my teeth.

Pighead

Beruthiel wrote: »

Climb trees - I spent most of my childhood doing that.
Cycle 30 miles.
Run 10 miles.
Doing anything different without getting that next day muscle pain.
Loads of things.
Thanks for depressing me an a Friday Piggie.
Real thoughtful

Turn that frown upside down Beruthiel. Pighead wagers that there is plenty of things that you've actually got better at over the years. Making love, tasting wine and concealing wrinkles to name just three. As a wise woman once said: You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again

Smart Bug

Kiera wrote: »

A good Dyson will sort that out.

Yep, tried that. Ended up inside out.

Gonna try corkin' up all my orifices & blowin on me thumb next.

Professey Chin

missbaker wrote: »

It can grow back you know! Mine has

Kiera wrote: »

I hear ya sista

I hereby volunteer myself to assist you both (and myself) in this conundrum:D

Smart Bug wrote: »

I didn't think a man's could until me quare thing inverted from lack of use.

You...........not so much:pac:

longshanks

years ago when being chased through a forest i could leap branches as high as my forehead, i could duck under a branch as low as my knee, and i could pull a thorn from my toe, all without breaking stride or ruffling my braided hair. all this i could do without ever snapping a twig underfoot. at least i think that was me. oh yeah another thing, i used to be able to remember stuff accurately.

builttospill

Booze, fags and drugs. The bloody lot. Too much too young.

useful_contacts

the crab- well i can still do it but i would break my neck in the process

rainbow kirby

Do front splits - I was able to do them around the same time that I got my TKD black belt, but there's no way in hell I could do them now.

$Photo of DonkeyStyle \o/$ DonkeyStyle \o/

Can't sleep in a tent in the back garden.
Can't stack up piles of empty cardboard boxes and perform goofy half-arsed flying kicks on them.
Can't do fake karate chops on blocks of polystirine.
Can't continue work on my treehouse.
Can't dig a hole and fill it with water for no reason.

Well I could... but I'd need a damn good explanation

Handsome Bob

Go to Eddie the Demon Barber. I went bald at 16.:( Now every time I see Eddie he asks me why I don't go up anymore for a haircut to which I reply "why do you ****ing think Eddie!":mad: He's a forgetful so and so.:pac:

EDIT Wait, maybe he's not forgetful and he's just taking the piss! The bastard!:mad:

Boskowski

I was able to drink all night on a Saturday and get out on the pitch on a Sunday morning and after 10 minutes of a somewhat shaky start I was able to play half decent club soccer for 90 mins, no bother.

Now I haven't had a drink in a fortnight and go out on a small pitch and I need an oxygen tank after 10 mins of what is shaky soccer at the best of times.

pierrot

carlybabe1 wrote: »

Swim in the canal/weirs without catching weils disease

Did this on Friday. Bad idea. Cut me foot and had to go for a tetanus shot. It was the Royal Canal, so probably better off.

Saibh

Sleep more than 6 hours

missbaker

Eat alot of chocolate with out feeling guilty. .

trout

... get a full, unbroken night's sleep ... it's been 9 years

[Deleted User]

Count 125 pennies and still not have a pound!

Armin_Tamzarian

Get tried as a minor...

Use excuses like "an older boy made me do it"...

Look hard by smoking upstairs on a Dublin Bus... (disclaimer: hardness was imaginary)

Not be humiliated by being refused to night clubs.

Wear trackies and trainers without looking like I just got out on T.R. for the weekend.

Hang around outside secondary schools...

Get money from my Aunts and Uncles for my birthday...

Make a drunken show of myself in a hilarious way as opposed to a tragic way...

Snowie

Berty wrote: »

Listen to 90's dance music anymore without some teenage twat telling me that it only came out last week re-mixed by DJ W*nker or something like that.

I actully had the radio on in my car to day for all of ten minites :eek:, what trype i had to indure.....

I cant smoke weed any more

NibNib

Used to be able to chase a bus...

Now I can't even run without putting out my knees...:mad: And no amount of shouting of "wait!" will stop a departing bus...

CCCP^

Crawl through the space between the steps on our stairs at home.

Not be arrested for running around naked in the front garden.

Bounce when I jump out of a tree.