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Are these red flags in a prospective new housemate?

[Deleted User]

My previous housemate has moved out and I held viewings to find a new person to move in. I found a lovely girl and offered her the room. She came across as very eager in her response to the ad which I felt was slightly OTT (eg. "this place looks PERFECT for me, I really hope it's not gone!!") but I gave her a chance and really liked her.

She told me her current houseshare is really terrible, current housemate is rude, no boundaries, etc etc. So she's very keen to get out.

When I go to bed, I put my phone on airplane mode. She txt me the same message twice before, and then again and said "My messages don't seem to be delivering." I explained to her when I woke up that I had received them, but that I sometimes put my phone on airplane mode if I'm sleeping or busy.

This morning I woke up to FOUR of the same message. At 4am, 9am, 9:30am and 10:30am. I was freaked out and didn't reply. Then this evening I put my phone on airplane mode, just because I wanted a break from it, and when I turned it off airplane mode she had messaged me another message twice, and then had messaged me again on Whatsapp to say there must be a problem because her messages aren't delivering.

I am kind of freaked out to be honest, but I'm also trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's eager to get out of a bad house share and maybe that's driving her anxiety. She seemed very nice when I met her but the constant messaging has me unnerved.

Would you take these as red flags?

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ED E

Is this person <22? Very much something I'd attribute with the snapchat generation.

[Deleted User]

Red flag is the 4am message. And she talks about boundaries...

standardg60

You said you really liked her when you met OP, she could just be really anxious about securing the room given the current climate.

However, if there's something in her behaviour now which is twigging something about her when you met that you didn't notice at the time, ie that she was full on now that you think about it, then rely on your gut.

She may have been asked to leave the last place for all you know.

Jequ0n

Given your threads on your previous housemate I’d recommend you heed any red flag suspicion and pick someone else.

In your best interest OP, learn to say no and put up boundaries, ideally before the situation becomes more complicated.

starbaby2003

I can’t believe so many people are saying this is ok. It is absolutely a red flag. She sounds neurotic. These are not life and death messages, send one; follow up the following day. I’d be having words with friends if they were messaging me at 4AM. If it was a stranger, they’d be blocked.

gauchesnell

red flag. What are the messages about anyway and why would your housemate have your number.

Are they important messages

Caranica

The 4am one would be a red flag to me. Had a housemate who was practically nocturnal and that was difficult to live with in terms of noise.

I'd look for an alternative housemate.

LilacNails

Red flag for me.

handlemaster

I bit much. Would good with you hunch and move on to another person. Shouldn't be a problem with current demand

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118457686#Comment_118457686

I can understand that, but because I'd explained that I put my phone in airplane mode at times it feels a little much.

turbot

I'm not sure you can judge this as a red flag per se - because you just can't tell how driven this person is to get to a more chilled space. I think you ought to note these as possibly amber flags - and reserve judgement. This may suggest a lack of resilience - which may make for someone who is lovely - and/or someone who expects external conditions to be what they hope for vs rolling with what is. You can only infer so much though.

spakman

No, she's trying to get in contact and can't because your phone is airplane mode, so she keeps trying.

If her messages were being delivered and she still kept sending messages, then it might be a bit odd.