Why do you want to be a big brother?
(Don’t say revenge)
..
Homer: Where have you been?
Bart: Playing with Milhouse.
Homer: No, you haven't! You've been out gallivanting around with that floozy of a bigger brother of yours, haven't you? Haven't you! LOOK AT ME!
Comic Book Guy: Stop, those are prescription pants.
Bosun Willie: I warn ye, captain, push this crew too far, and there'll be mutiny.
Bligh: Mutiny? On the "Bounty"? Heh, heh, heh, heh. What have you been smoking.
Bosun Willie: Opium.
Bligh: Besides that.
You're next Chester A. Arthur
Kirk: You're letting me go?
Cracker Factory Executive: Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
Kirk: So, that's it after 20 years? "So long, good luck?"
Cracker Factory Executive: I don't recall saying "good luck."
Ow, my freakin' ears
"You've got it set on whore!"
"Cover me, Sarge. I'm going after Bart's soul"
"If the Ayatollah can’t have it, no one can!"
Homer: Spare some salt, Tubby?
Sumo Wrestler: Tubby? [Japanese subtitled:] The name "Tubby" is hurtful, as my weight problem is glandular. Are you going to eat that?
Homer: Hey, that's mine!
Not a Pyramid Scheme
Insurance Clerk: Now before we give you health insurance, I have to ask you a few questions.
Homer: Questions! Questions! My whole scheme down the... I mean ask away.
Clerk: Oh good, now, under "heart attacks", you crossed out three and wrote zero.
Homer: Oh, I thought that said "brain hemorrhages".
Clerk: Uh huh, and do you drink?
Homer: I do enjoy a snifter of port at Christmas
Clerk: All right. Here's your policy.
Homer: Now let me tell you something, Mr. Sucker. I just--
Clerk: Oh hold on there, you still have to sign it
Homer: Oh, yeah, I-- [gags] ... must... sign... policy!
Clerk: I'm sorry, sir, we can't insure you!
Homer: I made an H!
Clerk: That doesn't count!
Homer: Looks like an X.
Clerk: We better get you to a hospital.
Homer: Can I have a free calendar?
Clerk: OK.
Don’t do what Donny don’t does
perish the thought...
Get Out!
Can't just post a meme anymore without adding some extraneous commentary...
Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I saw an episode of Matlock in a bar last night. The sound was down, but I think I got the gist of it.
And I have to include a gag from our own Dara O'Briain on this selfsame topic
"Oh, but they're [the Chinese] so wise. They have one word for 'crisis' and 'opportunity'." Yes, but they also have one word for 'China' and 'Tibet' and it's 'China', so f**k them.
Groundskeeper Willie: Alright, now what's so fire great about your fancy pants leader?
Homer: The leader knows all and sees all!!!
Willie: Uh, well that is impressive.
Homer: And he's going to take us to a wonderful new planet.
Willie: Oh, this leader, he sounds like a grand fella.
Marge: Willie, I'm not sure we're making any headway here.
Willie: WOULD YOU SHUT UP WOMAN!!! HE'S TALKING ABOUT ME LEADER!!!
They laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular... My speed with numbers? My years of service as a hall monitor? My prize winning dioramas? These things mean nothing to them?
Hi Kids! Welcome to Kamp Krusty! Hoo huh hoo heh ha heh!
I'll see you in a few weeks! Until then, I turn things over to my
bestest buddy in the whole wide world, Mr. Black. I want you to treat
Mr. Black with the same respect you would give me. Now here's Mr. Black.
EagererBeaver wrote: » Belt of scotch?
Loafing Oaf wrote: » Lionel Hutz: Uh-oh! We've drawn Judge Snyder! Marge: Is that bad? Lionel Hutz: Well he's kinda had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog. Marge: You did? Lionel Hutz: Well actually replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
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