c_clearwater wrote: » I've been following boards and particularly this thread for a while now and have found the tips here helpful during the last year. It's also been helpful to see that others are having a similar experience of this lockdown, it's always good to see you're not alone. I've never felt the need to engage though until I saw 'Gone Home's recent posts and want to respond. The point of view echoes what I've heard from some people trying to be helpful and encouraging but missing the mark entirely and doing more harm than good. 'Gone Home' I'm sure you mean well but a lot of people out there would give a LOT for all you have. It's clear from your posts that you have a house in a nice location in the country, a spouse and a job and probably family and friends as you assume everyone else has family and friends around too. My goal is to be in a position where I have all those things and if you read previous posts on this thread the problem for a lot of people is that they don't have those things and are not where they want to be in life which makes the restrictions much harder. I haven't worked in a year, live alone, don't have any family, haven't been fortunate enough to meet someone special yet, though am always hopeful, and don't have friends living nearby. I don't want sympathy, I'm just stating the facts as I know a lot of people, including friends, in the same boat. I was involved in a lot of activities before the pandemic and that fulfilled the need for sociability. Those activities are gone now, like others here music, gigs, choirs, theatre etc were a big part of my life and that's left a big void. I've kept as busy as possible for the last year, always looking for a new job, doing online courses, upskilling, trying to keep to a routine, doing the online workouts etc etc but it's a hard slog. Like others here I'd love to meet someone and feel like I missed the deadline before covid as it's very difficult to meet anyone now. There are plenty like me who look at friends who are still working and have families and think that despite the difficulties it must be easier when you have work/purpose and have some support and company at home. Isolation is very hard on your mental health and it makes it hard to keep on top of things. I send very best wishes to everyone in this thread, particularly those who are struggling and trust that we'll all be stronger for making it through this. And for those who are struggling to empathise or understand why this is hard/boring/lonely, I hope that this may be helpful.
leahyl wrote: » Excellent post, agree 100%. In my mind it would/should be way easier for someone who has a husband/wife/partner and maybe kids than it is for someone who is still hoping to meet someone. From the point of view that the person in a happy longterm relationship doesn't have to worry about their life passing by, to an extent, cos they'll still, hopefully, have their familly after all this is over.
YellowLead wrote: » I have to say I’m starting to feel much better now we can officially leave the 5k! Lots of places to walk now (got a car last month) and with all of the positivity surrounding restrictions easing in May and June in very happy. Met a friend for a long walk last night for example - face to face is the best. But I don’t think I could cope at all if we plunged into level 5 stay inside 5k again....
freshpopcorn wrote: » Just try and avoid listening to the news to much. Certain ones in RTÉ are loving this in my opinion. Similar with Social Media and on here. Certain people are terrified and make a huge ordeal out of everything. They are just being themselves and can’t help it but just try and ignore them.
Patsy167 wrote: » Very insightful article posted by the NY Times that many may identify with and some helpful tips included at the end of the article that others may find useful - Full article here - https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.htmlIt wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing. Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.
acequion wrote: » I certainly recognise those symptoms. I think so many of us are just languishing, stagnating, I know I am.
I just so fervently hope we all get our lives back soon so that we can emerge from this never ending fog and get joy and purpose back into our lives again.
Irish Stones wrote: » I read the article and I recognised I am one of those described in it. I didn't know it has a name, but what I am experiencing is a total lack of motivation, interest and energy for anything that is around me. Not even those things that gave my life importance are interesting to me right now.For instance, in the last year I shopped a lot on Amazon and other online shops, I bought stuff for thousands euro, trying to wake up some interest and drive in me on things that once I loved to do. Well, several packages lie there, unopened, since May 2020. Simply I don't think I am interested about what's in them. And how do we know that we will emerge from this fog and find joy again? Some kinds of depression are permament, or they even appear again after a long time when we thought we had won. Things won't get back to what we used to know, and likewise we could not get back to what we were.
Tell me how wrote: » If this frame of mind has been going on for nearly 12 months for you now, you should definitely be seeking professional help for dealing with classic symptoms of depression. Waiting until Covid is over and then seeing how you feel could delay any progress for 6-12 months. Also, the longer this becomes your norm, then the more difficult it can be to overcome it.I can say with certainty however, having been in a very dark place with depression, that when things do get better, you see and can take joy from things in a much more appreciative way than you thought possible. I know you might not believe that statement, but that was my experience and I still get reminded of this.
Tell me how wrote: » If this frame of mind has been going on for nearly 12 months for you now, you should definitely be seeking professional help for dealing with classic symptoms of depression
I can say with certainty however, having been in a very dark place with depression, that when things do get better, you see and can take joy from things in a much more appreciative way than you thought possible. I know you might not believe that statement, but that was my experience and I still get reminded of this.
Pandiculation wrote: » and wanting to do the elbow handshake thing and it was like
Pandiculation wrote: » What’s getting to me is the need to eschew human contact and having to see everyone as a potential source of infection. That’s something that I genuinely find exhausting.
Irish Stones wrote: » This is the opposite for me. I don't see everyone as a potential plague carrier, but I agree that this fear of the others is something that will last for a long, very long time.They poured this fear on us. I envy those who lived through the past pandemics, when no fear was spread among the population, and they grow and lived normally, to the point they have nearly no memories of those times. We will remember the fear and the restrictions more than the pandemic itself.
Pandiculation wrote: » Depends on the circumstances, the person and the cultural setting too. Big deal to some people, less so to others. Some people are more kinaesthetic in their communication style and some are more visual and verbal, most are a combination. On the hand shaking thing, people from much of continental Western Europe and Mediterranean countries tend to really place a lot of importance on some of those gestures. It’s something that can be a huge deal for some ppl as they’ll feel cold / snubbed etc otherwise, so COVID-19 has been a rather big change. What’s getting to me is the need to eschew human contact and having to see everyone as a potential source of infection. That’s something that I genuinely find exhausting.
Irish Stones wrote: » This is the opposite for me. I don't see everyone as a potential plague carrier, ..
xhomelezz wrote: » Apart from other things you keep posting on mask thread, which I found a bit weird. This one stands out, who are they??
eleventh wrote: » +1, I can't imagine seeing people that way. I've seen fear in people's eyes though. A kind of terror. Not so much lately actually, but in the winter. Sad to see.
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