witchgirl26 wrote: » OP an ex is an ex for a reason and unless that reason has completely gone, then they should remain an ex.
Keyzer wrote: » My dad used to say to me when I was younger "if you fall off that wall and break your two legs, don't come running to me"... You get back with this girl and you'll be back here in six months telling us all it was a disaster. Or worse, back in 6 years - miserable and ruled by a selfish woman who wants everything her way. You've been warned OP - multiple times.
Ursus Horribilis wrote: » Do you still think it's wise to meet her?
PHG wrote: » I told her that I missed her and still loved her and if we could reconcile.
cristali wrote: » Finally!!! .. someone that sees the 2 sides of the story .. in my opinion you're 100% right
lainey_d_123 wrote: » People are being insanely harsh on the OP's girlfriend here. Look at it from her point of view. He asks her to move over to Dublin temporarily. She does. He does not seem to consider going over to her, he asks her to come to him, and she agrees, with the proviso that they return to London after a year. He then asks her to stay longer because his mam is ill. She agrees. She is getting bullied at work and is very unhappy in Dublin and goes home. No word from OP on how he supported her emotionally during this time. She agrees to return within a week. Sounds like she loves him a lot, to return somewhere she hates. Her boyfriend is home very late every night and she feels lonely. OP's mam's health improves so they can now move to London, three years later than planned. Except instead of returning to London as he promised, OP now wants to move to another European city. The girlfriend initially seems excited, then realises she just wants to go home to London. OP responds to this by dumping her. I can't get over how many people are calling the poor girl selfish. This is a woman who sounds like she's had a very tough time over the past four years. She's given up her entire life to be with OP and the commitment she asked for has not been made. I imagine she was very scared that after giving up so much for OP, he could easily turn around in a year or two and dump her, then she's in her thirties and having to start again, with nothing to show for all her sacrifice. Yes, OP's mam is sick, but what about his girlfriend and her needs? How do you know nobody in her family is sick? How do you know she's not depressed? How do you know she wasn't desperately missing her family for the 3 years she was with OP in a city she didn't really want to move to and didn't like? I must have read a very different post to the rest of you because it sounds to me like OP is the more selfish one here. It seems like he expects her to give up everything to be where he wants to be. Yes, his mam is sick, but literally everything in his entire post has been him getting everything on his terms. What about HER needs? Why SHOULD she just follow him around Europe, with only his word that they'll get married and move back to London? He's already lied to her once regarding returning to London. He's already told her he'd propose and then not done it. It's easy for people on the outside to say she should be more patient, but look at it from her point of view. She's given up the last four years of her life to be with this guy and now that he's free to move away from Dublin, he STILL isn't going to London, as he promised all along. I feel really sorry for her. She's put her own dreams on hold and essentially been strung along for 4 years and eventually dumped. OP's mam being sick does not give him a free pass to do this to someone. I see no empathy or understanding of her situation at all, just blaming her for not getting on better in Dublin, a city she only agreed to move to for a year. I find OP's post very 'me, me, me' and am very shocked at how many people are calling the girlfriend selfish. It sounds like she's given a lot and gotten very little back. What has he done for her? What has HE given up? I don't think an engagement is at all too much to hope for after a four-year relationship, especially when he's asking her to live away from her home for a further two years, with the personal and career disruption that entails. She's asking him to go back to London, which was what he initially promised her, and he doesn't want to go because it's expensive. So at the end of the day, OP values saving money over his girlfriend. If he actually loved her, he'd move to London, where she clearly desperately wants to be, and save the relationship. Instead, he's sitting here worrying about himself and his age and whether HE will be able to have kids and feeling sorry for himself because he's alone in the city HE chose to move to. And yous think the girlfriend is the me feiner here??? Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you'd feel.
wiggle16 wrote: - ....I'd say she knew you would. Because instead of replying with "I blocked you because I need space to get over you and I would prefer if you respected that etc" or just ignoring it, she launched straight into communication with you. I suspect she knew you wouldn't be able to leave that lie.
Ursus Horribilis wrote: » I think you need to be honest with yourself here. You're not one bit over her. You're still hung up on her, despite your incompatibility. You're in very dangerous territory here.
Big Bag of Chips wrote: » I'd say all the talk of not wanting a baby for another 2 years could be to reel you in. I'd bet my house on an unplanned* pregnancy before Christmas. *unplanned by you
Ursus Horribilis wrote: » You two are like oil and water.
