amcalester wrote: » Your husband sounds like a dick.
Helppls18 wrote: » My family will not be happy, think they will be embarrassed by it as I've never let them down or brought shame like this to family before.
punisher5112 wrote: » Oh God why did yee get together????
Helppls18 wrote: » I worn down emotionally from this. The kids idolise there Dad I'm afraid I'll damage them by separating.
SteM wrote: » Helppls18 wrote: » My family will not be happy, think they will be embarrassed by it as I've never let them down or brought shame like this to family before. Please do thinking like this, doing what's best for you and your kids should not bring shame on them.
Cypher_sounds wrote: » What did his old long term girlfriend think when she heard he was cheating on her with you? Think you knew what you were getting into.
nikkibikki wrote: » There is absolutely nothing wrong with a one night stand between 2 consenting adults who are not in a relationship with anyone else. He cheated on his UK gf with you. And he has a problem with you having a ONS with somebody when ye weren't even officially together? That is utterly unreasonable. I think people here on boards throw the word abuse around very easily but those names he called you was definite verbal abuse. They're not even true and he said those in front of the kids? It is good that he is getting counselling. Can you take some time off work? Give yourself a break from one of your stresses at least. Have a chat with your GP and they may deem that you need some stress leave.
SteM wrote: » OP, if you want to save your marriage then you'll have to attend couples counselling to try and move forward. He obviously has issues which his counselling might help with but as a couple you have years of shared experiences, both good and bad. You need to discuss your problems with each other in a safe environment.
Big Bag of Chips wrote: » I think you need to consider the possibility that he has cheated on you, more than the time you know about. One thing that comes up here regularly, and is often proven to be the case is that someone who consistently accuses their partner of cheating etc are quite often cheating themselves and are judging their partner by their own standards. You know he cheats. He cheated with you and he has cheated on you, once that you know of. He accuses you constantly, because cheating isn't a huge issue for him. He can do it quite easily. So he assumes the same is true for you. Maybe counselling could help you both. But you may never know the full truth. And you need to decide if you can accept that and move forward. There's no shame in walking away if things cannot be resolved.
BBFAN wrote: » There's something missing here OP. Where did last nights rant come from? He surely didn't start calling you names for no reason?
Helppls18 wrote: » It has been an issue over the years, it comes up at least once a year but this has been the worst episode. He said he is desperately unhappy he can't get it out of his head, has no respect for me, he said I have never shown remorse for what I have done. Maybe he just doesn't love me or maybe there is a mental health issue, I don't know. When this issue arises he asks me questions about various partners or relationships and insists I'm lying about certain things. He interrogated me as to what an ex said to me in a car about 14 years ago, truth be told cant remember the night the pub we were in etc and he doesn't believe me. He is also insisting I was in a flat share of local guy / ONS but never set foot in it in my life if I was in it I would say as things cant get any worse, but I wasn't there. He asks questions in relation to the actual ONS was condoms used etc, he is obsessed. If it happened when we were officially together or if I done it when engaged/married fair enough, but I'm seriously freaked by the obsession. It started 13 days ago he ignores me every evening, we have had words after kids gone to bed, and last night was the worst when he slagged me in front of kids.
