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Child Item

To parents of children who are over weight, why can't we say anything to you?

sexmag

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

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AfterLife

It should be someone's business if a child is obese. It's abuse.

_Dara_

AfterLife wrote: »

It should be someone's business if a child is obese. It's abuse.

Then the relevant people should deal with it. Not Busybody McCurtain-Twitcher.

Recliner

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Would you criticise them if they smoked in the house or in the same car as the kids?

I'd hope they would.

goz83

_Dara_ wrote: »

I seriously doubt they were all overweight. Or even half of them.

You would be surprised. The school my sisters kids attend have more than half overweight kids. It’s terrible. The school my brother sends his kids has a morning routine of doing a lap around the local park because of the growing obesity issue. It’s a lot less prominent at the school my kids attend, but it’s still much higher than the 1 in 30 we had 2 decades ago.

_Dara_

goz83 wrote: »

You would be surprised. The school my sisters kids attend have more than half overweight kids. It’s terrible. The school my brother sends his kids has a morning routine of doing a lap around the local park because of the growing obesity issue. It’s a lot less prominent at the school my kids attend, but it’s still much higher than the 1 in 30 we had 2 decades ago.

That poster said they were all overweight. Not believable.

Filmer Paradise

goz83 wrote: »

You would be surprised. The school my sisters kids attend have more than half overweight kids. It’s terrible. The school my brother sends his kids has a morning routine of doing a lap around the local park because of the growing obesity issue. It’s a lot less prominent at the school my kids attend, but it’s still much higher than the 1 in 30 we had 2 decades ago.

If this is correct, well there's an awful lot of stupid no brain parents out there.

Imagine letting your child get fat? Think about it.

They have a problem at 6 or 7 years old. What hope do they have for the future?

I'm a parent myself. Not perfect, mind you. In fact by modern standards..........An awld bollix really.

I say No to my kids sometimes when they want all kinds of crap.

I give them what they need (hopefully). The rest they can get when they can pay for it themselves.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

AfterLife wrote: »

It should be someone's business if a child is obese. It's abuse.

Only if the parents arent doing anything to improve the child's health.

whisky_galore

wexie wrote: »

That's 2 overweight kids threads today

Is it cause the sun is out and they're all going round without jumpers and coats?

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057886384

The pitter-patter of a herd of baby elephants.

Liam McPoyle

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

You should just post tag her in this on a daily basis til she gets the message.

LucyIrish06

I was overweight as a kid, my mum and dad weren't together and when i spent my weekends with my dad he use to spoil me with whatever food i wanted, my mum was a chef so there was always food lying around the house during the week. I got bullied a lot in school because of my weight, i basically use to be called a man (just imagine been 12,13,14.. and this been said to you on a daily basis) it really effected me and i just cant stop feeling sorry for these overweight kids knowing that they will more than likely go through the same thing as myself and the parents dont realize that. They think its ok because they are "treating" their child, making themselves feel as if they are great parents when in fact they are just ruining their kids most vulnerable years.
Because I was overweight for all of my childhood it scarred me in my adult life, social anxiety, low self esteem etc etc and im still trying to re-build myself.
I really hope parents will realize this.

professore

bazz26 wrote: »

If someone was sitting outside a pub having a pint and a cigarette, and a total stranger walked up and lectured them that drinking and smoking is seriously damaging to their health. I think we all know what most people would say or worse do to that person? Look after your own affairs and stay out of other people's imo the same way you wouldn't want someone else telling you how you should live your life.

What if they were beating the **** out of their 4 year old? Should you mind your own business then? There's a difference between ****ing up your own life and ****ing up your kids life.

professore

LucyIrish06 wrote: »

I was overweight as a kid, my mum and dad weren't together and when i spent my weekends with my dad he use to spoil me with whatever food i wanted, my mum was a chef so there was always food lying around the house during the week. I got bullied a lot in school because of my weight, i basically use to be called a man (just imagine been 12,13,14.. and this been said to you on a daily basis) it really effected me and i just cant stop feeling sorry for these overweight kids knowing that they will more than likely go through the same thing as myself and the parents dont realize that. They think its ok because they are "treating" their child, making themselves feel as if they are great parents when in fact they are just ruining their kids most vulnerable years.
Because I was overweight for all of my childhood it scarred me in my adult life, social anxiety, low self esteem etc etc and im still trying to re-build myself.
I really hope parents will realize this.

I was overweight too. Fought hard in my teens and lost the weight. Can confirm this.

[Deleted User]

bazz26 wrote: »

Stranger or not you seem to be missing the point, the majority of people don't like it when others tell them how they think they should live or how they should be raising their children, no matter how right you think it is. It's really none of your business no matter how much you think it.

I dunno. Doesn't seem to stop various people from commenting on other parts of peoples lives. It's just when a child is overweight that we have a taboo on speaking.

For myself, I find it to be a ridiculous taboo. This country has changed so much in the last 20 years with kids becoming obviously 'fat'. Relying on a sugar tax, isn't going to do much. Maybe it would be better to encourage society to comment on such things.

Try_harder

This reads like a Daily Mail headline.

LucyIrish06

professore wrote: »

I was overweight too. Fought hard in my teens and lost the weight. Can confirm this.

Same, we shouldn't of had to struggle to loose the weight our parents made us put on. But unfortunately we did, we struggled but we got there in the end. It was unfair to put us through this but they didn't understand how it would effect us down the long road. Im sure if our parents would of realized the long term effects things would of been different, maybe even had a normal enough child hood (I.e, not been bullied)

neris

we had a kid in our after school last year was very over weight. 4.5/5 year old wearing 8 year olds clothes at start of school year then 9 yos by xmas. mother in complete denial saying kid was growing taller (unless you grow taller sideways). see the same kid at school now 5 yo and barley any neck and moobs. last week on way out of school kids were climbing up and over a railings and this kid could barely pull their feet of the ground. parents couldnt deal with the kid at home when younger so sat the kid down at home with an ipad and a big bag of crisps in the evening to shut em up. sad state of affairs but when youve parents who are so engrossed in themselves and their own life this is what happens

[Deleted User]

Try_harder wrote: »

This reads like a Daily Mail headline.

Why? Seems like a genuinely good question to me. Why can't we comment on other parents with obese or overweight children?

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

cbyrd

sexmag wrote:

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

No, you're not wrong for feeling this way but, you're wrong if you open your mouth in judgement. Their lifestyle is not the same as yours and you are not living their life . But if your concern is so big why not offer to take their child to the park/playground everyday for an hour. Put your energy where your mouth is.
Judgy parents make my head ache.

neris

sexmag wrote: »

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

instead of making a personal comment or getting involved with the parent you could always report the childs weight issues as a child welfare concern to Tusla. Might sound a bit extreme but you dont know whats going on behind closed doors and maybe the parent is struggling themselves with out help

Idle Passerby

Parents already know when their kids are fat. Presumably they all have eyes in their heads or failing that, they hug their kids from find to time. Pointing out facts that people are busy ignoring, generally just pisses them off.

[Deleted User]

If a child was malnourished because the parents were not feeding them then there would be calls for Tusla, social services etc to get involved. But when it's the opposite there doesn't seem to be any concern. These kids will grow up thinking being obese is the norm and will put even more pressure on an already over-strained HSE.

_Dara_

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? Seems like a genuinely good question to me. Why can't we comment on other parents with obese or overweight children?

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

Outline how you’d approach said parents.

Children being encouraged to smoke by their parents is unlikely but I bet you still wouldn’t say anything!

_Dara_

downtheroad wrote: »

If a child was malnourished because the parents were not feeding them then there would be calls for Tusla, social services etc to get involved. But when it's the opposite there doesn't seem to be any concern. These kids will grow up thinking being obese is the norm and will put even more pressure on an already over-strained HSE.

Aaah, obese kids can be malnourished as can obese adults. If the food is low-nutrition, they can still be deficient in vitamins and minerals.

Malayalam

I can understand people saying it's nosy, or judgmental, but it is pretty horrid watching some of the child rearing practices that go on. Back in the days when my kids were small you'd often enough end up chatting through car windows to a woman who was chain-smoking with her kids in the back of the car. Of course it's impossible to say anything. I see people in supermarkets giving their kids anything they wail for. Kids on iPads. On mobile phones. Chawing on chocolate bars that are way too big for them - I remember when there were adult treats - your Mam would get a Fry's mint cream bar and your Da a Mars, and then the kids would get the penny sweets or smaller bars. And only the odd time, like if ye went to a football match or something, or on a Sunday. Yeah, look it, we might have bought a quarter of bulls eyes and ate them in a sitting, but it was not day in day out. Kids eat shyte 24/7 now. Not just the sweets but the trans fats in cakes and pastries and doughy breads, and the insane amount of sugar in processed supposedly 'savoury' foods. It is soooooooooooooo bad for them. It's one thing to be judgy about their appearance, but their poor fecking pancreas and liver, their arteries, their hearts, the plaque that will gather in their brains, Jesus, these kids could die before their parents due to being overfed absolute junk like veal calves. It's quite gruesome.

[Deleted User]

_Dara_ wrote: »

Outline how you’d approach said parents.

Children being encouraged to smoke by their parents is unlikely but I bet you still wouldn’t say anything!

Why wouldn't I? I don't really get this tip-toeing around subjects. In most cases, what parents do with their children doesn't bother me, but some things are obviously irresponsible and dangerous to their children.

I wouldn't approach a complete stranger and tell them what I think, but with friends, I would. And I wouldn't be subtle about it. It's up to them whether they want to accept my opinion or not.

The smoking example is simply an example, to put it into perspective. The point being that people wouldn't hesitate to talk about a parent who encourages their kid to smoke, but can't do the same with obesity. Both are unhealthy behaviors.

Encouraging eating disorders, overweight or obesity, is extremely dangerous to children both for the health and social aspects. It doesn't stop after they become teens or adults, but will likely continue afterward. God knows, I've seen the way that women complain about how difficult it is to lose some weight to put on that bikini... but the weight that these kids have is often so much more than that.

[Deleted User]

A parent giving their kids 10 smokes a day with a shot of vodka would be doing less damage to a kid than if they were making them obese. Whose business would that be?

I guarantee you'd all be over in the pub to have a word with a parent doing that with your own little fatarse whale sitting there with their crisps and coke.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? Seems like a genuinely good question to me. Why can't we comment on other parents with obese or overweight children?

If some parents were encouraging their kid to smoke cigarettes, I'd imagine plenty of people wouldn't hesitate to say something to them.

The context of the headline/thread title is "can't" as in 'unable to'; not "can't" as in 'not allowed to'.

As to why? Well, you tell me. My guess is that it's because you're unable to conduct basic scientific research into genetics and causes of obesity and form an independent opinion; but feel free to prove me wrong or offer an alternative hypothesis.
Case in point? You think the sole cause of obesity is the adults encouraging their kids to eat junk food (based on the last paragraph anyway)

It is kind of hypocritical when people accuse the parents of being lazy and encouraging unhealthy thinking...

_Dara_

Deleted User wrote: »

Why wouldn't I? I don't really get this tip-toeing around subjects. In most cases, what parents do with their children doesn't bother me, but some things are obviously irresponsible and dangerous to their children.

I wouldn't approach a complete stranger and tell them what I think, but with friends, I would. And I wouldn't be subtle about it. It's up to them whether they want to accept my opinion or not.

The smoking example is simply an example, to put it into perspective. The point being that people wouldn't hesitate to talk about a parent who encourages their kid to smoke, but can't do the same with obesity. Both are unhealthy behaviors.

Encouraging eating disorders, overweight or obesity, is extremely dangerous to children both for the health and social aspects. It doesn't stop after they become teens or adults, but will likely continue afterward. God knows, I've seen the way that women complain about how difficult it is to lose some weight to put on that bikini... but the weight that these kids have is often so much more than that.

Why wouldn’t you? Because talk is cheap. You’re blustering on a messageboard.

Oh and the reason it’s important to tread carefully and for only qualified people to get involved is that you could give a child a complex over their weight if you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s what leads to eating disorders.

Shenshen

sexmag wrote: »

This is a gripe I really have.

I have many friends on Facebook, lots of whom are great parents, they put up lots of photos and their kids look healthy and happy.

But......there are some who I really wish I could say something to. A woman recently put up a picture, the woman herself is over weight by a lot and is attending slimming world but the photo she put up is of her child who is 4 and must weight at least 6 stone, has clearly defined overweight features,the child is holding a fiber bar from slimming world with the caption "can't keep these away from my princess, she loves them, has good taste like her mam"

I can't stand it, the child should not be that overweight. The problem is if I or anyone was to say anything even in the slightest about the child's health we will be crucified and told to mind our own business. Children have no control over portion size or the food they eat, the need responsible intervention, they are not getting it from the parent's or to a lesser extent the schools. This child with out a doubt will grow up to be obese as the mother joins these groups for about 4 weeks and then gives up, leaving the child to basically what she eats

I wish I could say what I really feel for the child sake without sounding like a busy body, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Edit: I have kids but I'm not a health freak, my kids eat normal food and take away on occasion when their good,we over indulge too at times like any family but not to extent they are over weight

So it's not that you can't say anything, it's that you dislike them saying something back?

jobless

i wouldnt have the nerve to say anything to a complete stranger but if it was close family i might.... and i mean immediate family....

as others have said, feeding your child to the point of obesity is abuse the same as underfeeding them and it should be treated that way....
I think schools should have a duty to report it and those families paid a visit by social services....