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Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered heroin user

Boards.ie: Niamh

Our next guest is a former heroin addict who started using heroin after losing his job during the recession.

He spent a lot of this time homeless, staying in shelters or couchsurfing after losing his home. In this time he says he ended up doing some unsavoury things to get money for drugs and would have been what some people might think of as a stereotypical "druggie" type.

He has been clean now for the last four years and is happy to answer your questions about this time in his life.

We've had an AMA with a recovered drug user before which you can read here, however I think both of their experiences were sufficiently different to have a second one.

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robarmstrong

Fair play to you for coming on and volunteering your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Well done on being clean so long and I hope it continues for many years to come.

1. Was it only heroin you would take?

2. Is there anything you could or would like to change about the support system and care addicts receive?

Danny Donut

Yep hats off for doing this and for coming through the other side.

A couple of questions - which maybe show my ignorance on the topic

1. What got you started and why is it a lifestyle that some choose?

2. Was there some spark that made you say Fcuk this?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

robarmstrong wrote: »

Fair play to you for coming on and volunteering your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Well done on being clean so long and I hope it continues for many years to come.

1. Was it only heroin you would take?

2. Is there anything you could or would like to change about the support system and care addicts receive?

1. No, I've had lots of addiction problems in the past. Booze, cannabis, coke... Everything basically at one point or another.

During those years it was mainly heroin and sometimes crack when I could afford it.

2. Yep, I'd change a lot!

As a previous AMA poster mentioned, when I finally wanted to get clean and sign up for a methadone program, you are required to give 3 dirty samples each 2 days apart. So when you are at the end of it, begging for help, you are told you need to use for at least another week. On more than one occasion this caused me to say feck it after the first because I just got back into the 'swing' of things or missed the next appointments.

Most people who work in those services are very professional, but of course there are some who are judgemental and condescending and that doesn't help matters. Then there's some petty stuff like denying you the dose of methadone for being a few minutes late, or not having some letter etc

seamus

Fair play. Just two questions really;

1. Looking back, would you have pegged yourself as someone who was likely to get hooked? Growing up would you have had an "addictive personality" in general, or was the heroin addiction something that came completely out of the blue?

2. Have you any thoughts on what are the most effective ways to help addicts? Presumably you'd agree that someone can only get off heroin when they want to (i.e. they can't be forced), but what things can society do to help addicts come to this realisation?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Danny Donut wrote: »

Yep hats off for doing this and for coming through the other side.

A couple of questions - which maybe show my ignorance on the topic

1. What got you started and why is it a lifestyle that some choose?

2. Was there some spark that made you say Fcuk this?

When I started it was because I'd lost my job in the recession, this led to me losing my home and my relationship breaking up. I found myself surrounded by it, and as I said before I've always had problems with substances. It was just a 'f*ck it' kind of mentality for me. I thought I'd already lost everything.

For most I think it's a way to cope. Some people are homeless because they use, but lots of people use just because they are homeless. There is a lot of underlying or diagnosed mental illness in the homeless/addict community. I doubt it's the lifestyle that anybody truly wants.

Rory28

Congrats on kicking it man. Just the one question from me.

How did you initially start using heroin?

Speaking for myself but just seeing the side effects on people in town was enough for me to never even think of touching it.

Edit: Nevermind. You answered above.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

seamus wrote: »

Fair play. Just two questions really;

1. Looking back, would you have pegged yourself as someone who was likely to get hooked? Growing up would you have had an "addictive personality" in general, or was the heroin addiction something that came completely out of the blue?

2. Have you any thoughts on what are the most effective ways to help addicts? Presumably you'd agree that someone can only get off heroin when they want to (i.e. they can't be forced), but what things can society do to help addicts come to this realisation?

1. I never would have pegged myself as a homeless heroin addict!! But I doubt many people do!!

I've always had addiction/substance abuse issues, but I was young at the time and just thought I was a "party guy", it's only now that I can see that the writing was on the wall. It just took me being introduced/having it around me and then feeling like there was nothing more to lose.

2. You're right, if somebody doesn't want to change you can't help them. Gentle encouragement (and not shaming) is the best way, help them see their potential. If you give somebody a chance to feel worthwhile their self esteem will rise. If there's a way you can to contribute to society you will want to be a part of it. Of course I don't know how you would achieve this.

hufpc8w3adnk65

Did you inject or smoke it first?

When you say surrounded by it, Could you elaborate? Were all your friends using or what do you mean?

How long did it take you to become addicted? Was it immediate?

In your time did you needle share? have you avoided any serious disease's?

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Foggy Jew

I have no specific questions, I just wanted to say Well Done for turning yourself around. Fair play and all the best in the future.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

MrMac84 wrote: »

Did you inject or smoke it first?

When you say surrounded by it, Could you elaborate? Were all your friends using or what do you mean?

How long did it take you to become addicted? Was it immediate?

In your time did you needle share? have you avoided any serious disease's?

Thanks for taking the time to read.

I was surrounded by it in homeless shelters/people I met on the street. It was just everywhere. All my old friends started to fade away, were going to work or sided with my ex. So I was just around people in town.

I started smoking at first and it probably took 2 months before I started feeling sick, then I started using.

Never shared or anything so I avoided the diseases!

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Foggy Jew wrote: »

I have no specific questions, I just wanted to say Well Done for turning yourself around. Fair play and all the best in the future.

Thank you.

It's not something I go talking about with people that I meet. Or even people who know.

So to hear it, even from a stranger means a lot!!

bullvine

Well done!

A close friend has been on it for 20 years, got on the methadone program is now back working. Hes reasoning to start using it was his relationship broke up and that he was bored. He also liked it a lot, liked being on it. Have you met addicts similar?

EIREDriver

Fair play for getting off of it.

1) Have you got off the streets or are you still homeless?

2) If you're back working, have you found it hard to find work because of the tough times you found yourself in?

3) Have you ever been to jail? Just watched the documentary on Mountjoy and was saddened by the grip heroin had over a lot of the inmates, especially in the original footage from 20 or so years ago.

4) Do your family and friends know about it? If so, how have they reacted.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

bullvine wrote: »

Well done!

A close friend has been on it for 20 years, got on the methadone program is now back working. Hes reasoning to start using it was his relationship broke up and that he was bored. He also liked it a lot, liked being on it. Have you met addicts similar?

Yep, I was similar. In the long run it's absolute hell, but in the short time or at some times I liked it.

All you need to worry or think about is getting your next fix (but sometimes that can be hard) there's no responsibilities, no real emotions because you are always numb. You are basically condensing your life down to just be about one thing, which is kinda liberating in a way.

Horrible when you have to try to get everything back though, I'd imagine it's how people who have done a long stint in prison feel. It's hard to find work, talk to strangers or girls. Feel like I'm being watched or followed in shops! It's hard to readjust.

bullvine

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

Yep, I was similar. In the long run it's absolute hell, but in the short time or at some times I liked it.

All you need to worry or think about is getting your next fix (but sometimes that can be hard) there's no responsibilities, no real emotions because you are always numb. You are basically condensing your life down to just be about one thing, which is kinda liberating in a way.

Horrible when you have to try to get everything back though, I'd imagine it's how people who have done a long stint in prison feel. It's hard to find work, talk to strangers or girls. Feel like I'm being watched or followed in shops! It's hard to readjust.

You are so honest. My mates brother still cant even look at him, I can empathize exactly with what you are saying.

Take care!

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

EIREDriver wrote: »

Fair play for getting off of it.

1) Have you got off the streets or are you still homeless?

2) If you're back working, have you found it hard to find work because of the tough times you found yourself in?

3) Have you ever been to jail? Just watched the documentary on Mountjoy and was saddened by the grip heroin had over a lot of the inmates, especially in the original footage from 20 or so years ago.

4) Do your family and friends know about it? If so, how have they reacted.

1. Yep, I have a flat now

2. No, It's been really hard. Doing a course now. Not the field I'd like to be in, but I have a major CV gap

3. Luckily never sentenced to anything, but spent more than a bit of time on remand in Cloverhill

4. Yep, All my old friends (bar one who helped me get back on my feet) all faded away. Family lost touch once I started to go beyond help (lying asking for money with pinned eyes or totally sick and sweating with massive pupils) but have been supportive again now that they can see that I am serious about getting things together.

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helimachoptor

In the area i grew up in in the late 80s/early 90s heroin was everywhere.

A lot of people died, but even those that didnt irreparably harmed family relationships, mostly through stealing tbh.

Are there any family/friend relationships you've completely lost because of your addiction?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

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I was using for about 8 years.

Only long term effects are my teeth, they're pretty messed up. I had some weight issues with the methadone but I'm getting back to normal now that I'm off that. I think I've aged a bit more than I should have though!!

I never directly threatened or robbed anybody (I'm not a very menacing looking guy, I doubt they'd take me seriously. And I'd like to say that it's not in my nature) but I was more than complicit on many occasions. I did a lot of shoplifting and robbery/theft stuff though. If it wasn't nailed down...

I feel terrible about all this btw, I don't want anybody to think that I'm being flippant, it literally keeps me up at night

goat2

It took a very strong person to get off that stuff, you went from doing well to rick bottom, had nothing to lose then, saw how others lived, and now understand more than any of us , how they live, Congratulations to you

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

helimachoptor wrote: »

In the area i grew up in in the late 80s/early 90s heroin was everywhere.

A lot of people died, but even those that didnt irreparably harmed family relationships, mostly through stealing tbh.

Are there any family/friend relationships you've completely lost because of your addiction?

I'm sorry to hear, I've seen more than a few people go. Not all friends, but 3 I can think of OD'd in front of me. Another guy I was friends with who was a nice lad died somewhere else.

Family have started to be supportive again now that they know that I am serious about being clean.

Lost touch with all friends from before, bar one. Can't keep in touch with anybody I met during. Their not real friends anyhow, even though I care about them. I can't be around them now for obvious reasons and wish them all the best.

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goat2

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

I was using for about 8 years.

Only long term effects are my teeth, they're pretty messed up. I had some weight issues with the methadone but I'm getting back to normal now that I'm off that. I think I've aged a bit more than I should have though!!

I never directly threatened or robbed anybody (I'm not a very menacing looking guy, I doubt they'd take me seriously. And I'd like to say that it's not in my nature) but I was more than complicit on many occasions. I did a lot of shoplifting and robbery/theft stuff though. If it wasn't nailed down...

I feel terrible about all this btw, I don't want anybody to think that I'm being flippant, it literally keeps me up at night

Don't be hard on yourself, that way yesterday, today is the present, tomorrow is the future, today is the first day of the rest of your life, live it,

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

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Yeah, when you goof off it is pretty good, but it's sad in that it's all you live for.

But it's like, even if you are out in the cold on some park bench. You are in the most comfy bed you've ever been in. Getting cuddles and feeling all warm and cosy, then you also have dopamine releasing to the max so it's like a slow orgasm.

You're not awake when you are actually nodding off...

It's very mentally addictive along with the physical. At the beginning it could last a day or so, but then the law of diminishing returns kicks in and you get down to about 5-6 hours.

hawley

Hi there, well done on beating it.

What's your opinion on cannabis? Do you think that it should be legalised? I know that it might not seem relevant but people say that it can act as a gateway to harder drugs such as heroin.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

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Nothing except stop you from feeling sick (And immense weight gain and constipation)

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

hawley wrote: »

Hi there, well done on beating it.

What's your opinion on cannabis? Do you think that it should be legalised? I know that it might not seem relevant but people say that it can act as a gateway to harder drugs such as heroin.

I don't know really, I flip flop on this.

I know that if I hadn't started smoking it it probably wouldn't have let me to coke and ecstasy. But then if it were legal and regulated, would I have been exposed to those channels?

I wasted a lot of my teenage years smoking pot, but maybe it was because it was taboo.

Sorry, I'm middle of the fence on this one. Don't really know what I think. Only know I don't use it anymore, because if I'm impaired in anyway I don't think I can trust myself to make good decisions.

John_D80

This could be a legendary AMA.

Best of luck in your continued recovery and new life.

How fussy are addicts these days about sharing needles?? Is there unwritten rules about needle sharing among addicts or do they just not care??

Did you ever lie/cheat/steal or something similarly underhand in order to get drugs money. If so what’s the thing you regret most??

When you were a kid, what did you wanna be when you grew up?

Do you have children, and if so how did your past life affect you as a parent?

loyatemu

Firstly, well done on getting clean. I watched the recent documentary on Mountjoy - it was profoundly depressing and made it clear that repeatedly locking addicts up is a waste of time and money.

I've read some addicts saying methadone is even worse than heroin - how did you find it as a method of getting clean, and do you think it might be better to provide addicts with heroin at least as a way of reducing drug-related crime and keeping them within the system?

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