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Child Item

Weddings - a terrible day out.

JohnnyFlash

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

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OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Jamsiek

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

This craic of having the venue in a “unique, memorable” location is a load of bollix.
Was at a wedding last year in an comically remote area up the Wicklow mountains in a sort of outdoor activity centre that had a function room. The main topic of conversation among the guests was how they managed to get there in one piece.

Load of people left early to navigate the treacherous roads home. What’s the point other than saving moolah for the B and G

Depends on the location
A "unique, memorable" location doesn't need to be in a remote area with dangerous roads.
Churches can be in remote locations with dangerous roads too.

Franz Von Peppercorn

I don’t get the “you don’t have to go” philosophy either. You may chose to not go to the marriage of family or close friends but you will lose contact with them - it’s a big snub. Workmates you have to meet in work after the wedding - so you can’t refuse in that situation without a good reason.

In small towns or some city suburbs even acquaintances can’t be avoided, so it’s awkward if you snub them.

Spanish Eyes

The only thing I feel after a big wedding (when I get home) is RELIEF!

Funnily the wedding is never really a topic of conversation for very long, maybe a couple of days or so? You know, swapping Whatsapp pics for a couple of days, and they eventually get deleted. Storage issues lol. We move on quickly, but a few hundred quid lighter though all the same.

Franz Von Peppercorn

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Well is that not the grooms business if he is happy to give her what she wants ? Not sure why that would bother anyone else really

The guy you responded to initially said he would like a few beers in a tent but women in general want a big wedding.

Therefore the maxim live and let live can’t apply. Somethings gotta give, and it’s generally the beers in the tent.

iamwhoiam

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

It’s not really is it? If the woman wants a big wedding she will get it.

Well is that not the grooms business if he is happy to give her what she wants ? Not sure why that would bother anyone else really

qwerty ui op

theyoungchap wrote: »

I've never heard anybody get ratty over people not attending a wedding. Most people couldn't give a toss who attends and who doesn't.

I believe you! but you must understand the reason you've never heard anyone get ratty isn't because of all the love for a big irish wedding, it is because people conform and go. The spend a few hundred quid doing something they don't really want to do.

erica74 wrote: »

But if you want to go to all of those weddings, then go. Presumably if it was your close friend's wedding you would want to go.

Well I am living in reality and I have just not gone to different weddings down through the years and it wasn't that big a deal. The couple who are getting married really don't give a shite who turns up bar the people who they are really close to and those are all people who probably want to go anyway.

Here you are, the couple do give a ****e if certain people don't go.
If you don't like wedding then you don't like weddings, you're not going to suddenly like just because people getting married are "really close". Some people never shut up about "really close".
You'd be surprised how the "really close" number can grow. If a guy had 3 siblings and 3 children you can chalk that down for 7 visits to the top table, his partner has same that's another 3 trips for her.
So in Ireland if the guy and girl had absolutely 0 friends between them, they could be at 10 weddings on immediate family alone.
This is before you count in.
School friends
College friends
Work friends
former job friends
Close friends
really close friends
really really really close friends
football team
soccer team
extended family
extended other side of family
Current neighbors
Neighbors growing up

Then just double for your OH

but they're all special days

Spanish Eyes

I've often wondered what input grooms have into all the trappings of a BIG wedding?

I suppose they just go along with it and leave the Bride and entourage to it. Easier for the Groom I think!

Am I wrong?

Franz Von Peppercorn

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Nothing at all wrong with it if its what you want . But whats the problem with others not wanting what you want ? Surely its to each his own

It’s not really is it? If the woman wants a big wedding she will get it.

Teyla Emmagan

Dakota Dan wrote:

The food is quickly forgotten when the drink comes along.

Not everyone wants to drink their heads off. I'd rather a good meal than a feed of pints!

metaoblivia

I don't mind weddings, but I have a small social circle and have never been to more than a few. My brother has been married 3 times and knows better than to ask me to be part of the wedding party. As long as the ceremony is brief, the pictures don't take too long and the food is decent, I'm a happy camper.

I had a colleague who had a true wedding disaster. She and her husband got married in Hawaii, so all of their family and friends flew out. They were both approaching 40 and had also recently learned they were pregnant, so planned on announcing it at the reception to all of their family and friends. The day before the wedding, the bride's mother went for a morning walk on the beach, had a stroke, and died in the hospital a few hours later. The silver lining was that the whole family was there, so they all got to say their goodbyes. My colleague and her family, god bless them, decided that the 200 guests had flown out to Hawaii to celebrate and have a good time and they were going to give them that. They explained the mother's absence by saying she wasn't feeling well and had a beautiful wedding. A week later, my colleague sent out a very beautiful note to all of her guests explaining what had happened and announcing their pregnancy. They had their little boy last August. So whenever I hear about Bride or Groomzillas losing their minds over the smallest details, I think of my colleague and of how gracefully she handled a truly terrible wedding event.

Dakota Dan

What's worse is this new gimmick of 3 day weddings.

Beechwoodspark

This craic of having the venue in a “unique, memorable” location is a load of bollix. Was at a wedding last year in an comically remote area up the Wicklow mountains in a sort of outdoor activity centre that had a function room. The main topic of conversation among the guests was how they managed to get there in one piece.

Load of people left early to navigate the treacherous roads home. What’s the point other than saving moolah for the B and G

Dakota Dan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

There's only one have to in this life and you know what that is.

freshpopcorn

I blame the Franc dude!

Galwayguy35

I've 2 weddings this year, the first one is a neighbour so I'll know most of the people there and the brother and his missus will be invited as well so will have a lift home.

That will be a good day out.

The second one is a guy I work with whop everyone hates and as I was the only person who made an effort to talk to him now I'm being invited to the wedding.

I'll know nobody at it and it's in Cork city so will have to stay over.

Dreading that one.

It's all right peeps saying don't go but that can be taken as an insult to many people, i know this fella would take it as one.

Dakota Dan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Wow, very sour response. Believe me dude, I’ve no problem with bedding members of the more dangerous sex. Up to the seam of my nutpurse in fanny most weekends.

Calm down lad, have another read of that post and look carefully for the joke.

iamwhoiam

Heres Johnny wrote: »

Women have weddings ruined.
And gay wedding planners.
No way any men want a completely organised formal event miles from home with everyone they ever met invited.

Fancy seat covers. Chocolate fountains. Matching outfits. Organised seating plans. Names for each table. Calligraphic invitations. Make up artists and florists.

What's wrong with a few pints in a beer garden?

Nothing at all wrong with it if its what you want . But whats the problem with others not wanting what you want ? Surely its to each his own

suicide_circus

We had no speeches and unlimited free drink.

_Dara_

My husband had a nightmare at a wedding we attended recently.

The groom didn’t have one of his besties as best man because they’re not public speakers. He chose a more peripheral friend who is, quite frankly, an over-confident, arrogant wankstain.

Let’s call him Paul. He firstly was treating the speech like Paul show, like he was a charismatic guy who everyone was rapt by. He was pacing the room rambling on, showing no warmth towards the groom. My husband knows him fairly well and the groom is one of my husband’s best friends. Paul kept talking about funny stories about the groom but wouldn’t give up any up. But he beelined for my husband and asked him for a story, on the spot. He gave my husband NO WARNING! All Huz could say was “I got nothing!”. Even a bit of warning would have allowed him to come with a funny but not embarrassing story. It was the most toe-curling thing I’ve sat through. The guy died on his arse. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. But I have to say I didn’t enjoy it. It was painful. A more mumbled, from-the-heart, short speech from a close friend would have been so much better.

Heres Johnny

Women have weddings ruined.
And gay wedding planners.
No way any men want a completely organised formal event miles from home with everyone they ever met invited.

Fancy seat covers. Chocolate fountains. Matching outfits. Organised seating plans. Names for each table. Calligraphic invitations. Make up artists and florists.

What's wrong with a few pints in a beer garden?

Dakota Dan

....... wrote: »

So tell me Father, what should I do when I ask her to try a new sexual position and she isnt into it?

Turn your arse to her.

iamwhoiam

martingriff wrote: »

Sorry what. I was at my cousins wedding last week & it was 100 if single. Love weddings

There ' s a rule ?

martingriff

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

Sorry what. I was at my cousins wedding last week & it was 100 if single. Love weddings

Dakota Dan

facehugger99 wrote: »

Most men will be lucky to remember she was wearing a white dress.

Food and the music are the two main things.

The food is quickly forgotten when the drink comes along.

Jaysci20

I'd agree with a previous poster than the music and food are most important. Short speeches are always welcomed.

I couldn't give a damn about "treats" or other nonsense. Foreign weddings are ridiculous. Black tie? Get lost.

Other than that it can be an opportunity to catch up with family and close friends. It's awful when you know no-one there.

_Dara_

One thing that amazes me is the level of analysis some couples put into planning their wedding. I kinda get it. It's costing a lot of money and you are asking people to spend time and money to attend. So I can understand the fretting. But looking at the wedding forum can be eye-opening (well, when it was busier a few years back at least) in how analytical people can be about a day that people will enjoy well enough but quickly forget about if it's not somebody really, really close to them.

Heres Johnny

Fred Swanson wrote: »

No recession it seems with weddings and gifts.

Recession is over 5 years ago at this stage.

Noveight

Every wedding I’ve been to has been a carbon copy of the last. The ones of close friends or family have been enjoyable as they’re relevant, but being brought as a plus one is often a drag as it’s 90% strangers.

splinter65

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

The notion of the B+G changing and then leaving the wedding was hilarious and great fun. Was happening until maybe late 80's/90's or something. I was at a few and the departure of B+G brought much hilarity and slagging and fun.

But that was probably back in the day when there was (supposed to be) no Sex before Marriage at all, so escape to do the deed was paramount (in Private of course somewhere miles away).

Different now so the B+G are stuck in the same hotel with guests for a loooong time. My idea of pure hell.

The brides “going away outfit” was nearly as important as the wedding dress.
They’d disappear up to the room and reappear then hand in hand all dressed up. Then all the guests would link arms around them and the DJ would strike up with Congratulations! By Cliff Richard and everyone would be dancing around them in a ring singing along.
And all the male guests would be slagging the groom about his wedding night even though everyone knew that they were at it like rabbits since they met.
And the bride would be blushing while her mother dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
Off they’d head then in his car to Dublin Airport being chased down the hotel avenue, to get a flight to Santa Ponsa at some god awful hour.
All the guests went back in the hotel to resume getting pissed.