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Child Item

Weddings - a terrible day out.

JohnnyFlash

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

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Spanish Eyes

The notion of the B+G changing and then leaving the wedding was hilarious and great fun. Was happening until maybe late 80's/90's or something. I was at a few and the departure of B+G brought much hilarity and slagging and fun.

But that was probably back in the day when there was (supposed to be) no Sex before Marriage at all, so escape to do the deed was paramount (in Private of course somewhere miles away).

Different now so the B+G are stuck in the same hotel with guests for a loooong time. My idea of pure hell.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I'm 29 and have had 2 friends tie the knot over the last year. Both were enjoyable days out, because it wasn't my family I wasn't concerned about getting intoxicated. Met up with loads of old school friends who we hadn't seen in ages.

They only thing I didn't like was that the weddings gave my gf of 9 years ideas, dangerous ideas.

.......

This post has been deleted.

Heres Johnny

I say no to loads of weddings. Not mad about family weddings so I just don't go most of the time, cousins etc.... Don't start a thread about not wanting to go and then go Anyway!

DEFTLEFTHAND

They certainly do cost an arm and a leg though. Especially when it's a mate.

You don't want to insult them by not giving enough.

smeal

I'm getting very sick of weddings now. We had 6 last year and they just became monotonous. I don't mind weddings where I know the bride and groom and a handful of the other guests really well and I don't have to strike up boring conversations with strangers slumped over the dinner table and answer questions like "what do you do for a living?" or "any holidays planned this year"..

Always hate the bit between the church/ceremony and the food because I find I am ridiculously bored if I don't have a few drinks, If I drink too much then I can't eat the meal and am usually sick later on and If I just sip at drinks then I find by after the big meal of turkey and ham I'm ready for bed and find it hard to keep going for the rest of the evening.

One of the best wedding celebrations I was at was for a school friend who got married out in New York with just a handful of witnesses there. They had a party to celebrate one Saturday night back home at a local hotel but the whole affair was so laid back. Nobody gave a crap what anybody was wearing and the B&G explicitly asked for no gifts on the invite, just our presence. Obviously we threw in a bit of cash in a card but not the usual amount that B&Gs expect. There was a prosecco arrival at 6pm, a nice video was played of their ceremony over in NYC about 6.30pm and then it was followed by a buffet dinner where you could help yourself- lasagne, curries, salads, breads, cheeses. The kind of food you look forward to eating after a few drinks! Then the B&G had arranged for giant board games and fake casino tables with prizes in the evening. Followed by the usual dancing and DJs but everyone was in great form after joining in the games and it was a great way to meet other people!

freshpopcorn

Weddings are fine in my opinion.
If the bride and groom are both from the same area or close enough. They should have their wedding within about reasonable distance.
A couple in my local town invited 200 to the church/meal and 300 to the afters to a wedding which was three hours away. The hotel meant nothing to them just a standard four star hotel. They appeared in the hotels brochure tough the next year.
Clothes, the bride/bridesmaids will always be told they look lovely. Same with guests. You don't have to go out and buy a dress for every wedding. Most people don't really care.
I often see couples saying after wedding that people told them everything was lovely/unique/etc. People say this at all weddings just to be polite.

Arghus

I generally regard weddings as a colossal and expensive pain in the arse, unless they are the wedding of a close friend. Most of them aren't

It's depressing how utterly the same they all are.

Jamsiek

I'm getting married this year
Wedding booked in a botanical garden with beaches all around
Non-religious wedding with families only

Food will be much better as it won't be mass-produced
Outdoor bar at the garden

No church, no pre-wedding course, no prayers unless we want to add them later
Party 2 days later with all our friends in a brewery/pub
The best way to have it in our opinion

Too many people feel pressured into having traditional church weddings IMHO

LirW

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Weddings are fine in my opinion.
If the bride and groom are both from the same area or close enough. They should have their wedding within about reasonable distance.
A couple in my local town invited 200 to the church/meal and 300 to the afters to a wedding which was three hours away. The hotel meant nothing to them just a standard four star hotel. They appeared in the hotels brochure tough the next year.
Clothes, the bride/bridesmaids will always be told they look lovely. Same with guests. You don't have to go out and buy a dress for every wedding. Most people don't really care.
I often see couples saying after wedding that people told them everything was lovely/unique/etc. People say this at all weddings just to be polite.

"When do I know it is the right venue?"
"Oh you'll get the feeling instantly when you step into it!"
It ends up being at the other side of the country, remote and far from every airport, only to reach when you get an ancient maps and collect all the clues, summon a good spirit at sunset to guide you the last bit of the way, but will be refused entrance when you don't bring bars of pure gold with you.

BrianBoru00

Thank God I for my friends . The odd "away wedding - I think - great - an excuse for a night away and more importantly and excuse to meet up with friends or relations.

Long day - gives opportunity to chat to loads of friends or cousins that unfortunately I don't get to see anymore outside of weddings.stags or funerals.
Cost - present can be given in advance or a few weeks after so for local weddings it normally costs €100 or so between us - can time hair
appointment for the day of or before a wedding .

qwerty ui op wrote: »

Simply not true. My OH was been in the same job for the last 5 years during that time she has obviously made work friends, 4 or 5 of those have been very good to her over that time. One of those friends(really sound girl) is to get married in 2 months, all she can talk about for the last few months is the wedding.
If my OH doesn't go to the wedding it will certainly mean the end of the friendship. If we don't go as a couple it will also cause problems.

This is how weddings work.

How is the problem solved by simply not going?

What is the problem?
If you don't want to go - don't go. If your relationship isn't able to survive that then its not strong enough to last anyhow

If you both don't go then don't but if I had to go to a wedding in Malin Head in the morning it would cost me about €35 in diesel, €40 for Air BnB, €10 for taxi to same, €60 for drinks for the evening, €40 for dry cleaning. €185 and presumably I would have some notice of 6 weeks or so. add in €200 for present which I could delay for a month or two if money was tight for a few weeks.
If she's a very good friend then I would be thinking just go - your OH it would appear wants to go

d

marvin80 wrote: »

Biggest load of sh*t ever:
- drivingPeople having a big church wedding even though they haven't been in the church in years and then expect you to do the same.
- Then you have the hassle of driving to the church and to the hotel afterwards - couple of hours if you're not living in the same town as the church or hotel.
- Cheap, miserable cu*ts having their wedding on a Thursday (Friday isn't as bad) and you've to take a few days off work for it. Have a friend tell me he was doing this on purpose, cheaper but they'll still make loads of money from gifts.
- So much waiting around between the church, hotel, dinner etc..
- Speeches are usually sh*t - go on for ages and loads of in-jokes that no-one outside the immediate family get.
- Music is usually sh*t.
- Spending 30k on a piss-up - most people starting married life in debt because of it - idiots.
- Spending stupid money on stuff like the engagement rings - even though their real value is only about a 10th of the actual price.
- The traditions like asking the father of the bride for permission to marry his daughter or giving her away like she's a commodity.

-Most of the weddings I've been to involve at least one of the couple being a regular enough mass goer. In any case - give the church bit a miss that way you only have to take a max of a half day off
-Lets be honest most weddings you go to are not going to be several hours drive away.
-so that's one anecdote from someone out tomakle
-what if they work in the hospitality industry and it makes it easier for their colleagues to attend
-That's waiting around talking to people
-not usually. again if you know the people
-Can be, not usually.
-That's just a silly statement with nothing to back it up. The value is what people are wiling to pay for it
-Nothing to do with the wedding as a day out

erica74

LirW wrote: »

"When do I know it is the right venue?"
"Oh you'll get the feeling instantly when you step into it!"

Do you want to know how I picked our venue? I googled where we could have the ceremony and dinner all in the one place, this venue popped up, rang them to see what dates were available around August, they said 2nd August, I said grand as long as we can get married in the evening so nobody has to take the day off work, they said grand, job done. I didn't step foot inside the place until the day of the wedding:pac:

splinter65

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

The notion of the B+G changing and then leaving the wedding was hilarious and great fun. Was happening until maybe late 80's/90's or something. I was at a few and the departure of B+G brought much hilarity and slagging and fun.

But that was probably back in the day when there was (supposed to be) no Sex before Marriage at all, so escape to do the deed was paramount (in Private of course somewhere miles away).

Different now so the B+G are stuck in the same hotel with guests for a loooong time. My idea of pure hell.

The brides “going away outfit” was nearly as important as the wedding dress.
They’d disappear up to the room and reappear then hand in hand all dressed up. Then all the guests would link arms around them and the DJ would strike up with Congratulations! By Cliff Richard and everyone would be dancing around them in a ring singing along.
And all the male guests would be slagging the groom about his wedding night even though everyone knew that they were at it like rabbits since they met.
And the bride would be blushing while her mother dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
Off they’d head then in his car to Dublin Airport being chased down the hotel avenue, to get a flight to Santa Ponsa at some god awful hour.
All the guests went back in the hotel to resume getting pissed.

Noveight

Every wedding I’ve been to has been a carbon copy of the last. The ones of close friends or family have been enjoyable as they’re relevant, but being brought as a plus one is often a drag as it’s 90% strangers.

Heres Johnny

Fred Swanson wrote: »

No recession it seems with weddings and gifts.

Recession is over 5 years ago at this stage.

_Dara_

One thing that amazes me is the level of analysis some couples put into planning their wedding. I kinda get it. It's costing a lot of money and you are asking people to spend time and money to attend. So I can understand the fretting. But looking at the wedding forum can be eye-opening (well, when it was busier a few years back at least) in how analytical people can be about a day that people will enjoy well enough but quickly forget about if it's not somebody really, really close to them.

Jaysci20

I'd agree with a previous poster than the music and food are most important. Short speeches are always welcomed.

I couldn't give a damn about "treats" or other nonsense. Foreign weddings are ridiculous. Black tie? Get lost.

Other than that it can be an opportunity to catch up with family and close friends. It's awful when you know no-one there.

Dakota Dan

facehugger99 wrote: »

Most men will be lucky to remember she was wearing a white dress.

Food and the music are the two main things.

The food is quickly forgotten when the drink comes along.

martingriff

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

Sorry what. I was at my cousins wedding last week & it was 100 if single. Love weddings

iamwhoiam

martingriff wrote: »

Sorry what. I was at my cousins wedding last week & it was 100 if single. Love weddings

There ' s a rule ?

Dakota Dan

....... wrote: »

So tell me Father, what should I do when I ask her to try a new sexual position and she isnt into it?

Turn your arse to her.

Heres Johnny

Women have weddings ruined.
And gay wedding planners.
No way any men want a completely organised formal event miles from home with everyone they ever met invited.

Fancy seat covers. Chocolate fountains. Matching outfits. Organised seating plans. Names for each table. Calligraphic invitations. Make up artists and florists.

What's wrong with a few pints in a beer garden?

_Dara_

My husband had a nightmare at a wedding we attended recently.

The groom didn’t have one of his besties as best man because they’re not public speakers. He chose a more peripheral friend who is, quite frankly, an over-confident, arrogant wankstain.

Let’s call him Paul. He firstly was treating the speech like Paul show, like he was a charismatic guy who everyone was rapt by. He was pacing the room rambling on, showing no warmth towards the groom. My husband knows him fairly well and the groom is one of my husband’s best friends. Paul kept talking about funny stories about the groom but wouldn’t give up any up. But he beelined for my husband and asked him for a story, on the spot. He gave my husband NO WARNING! All Huz could say was “I got nothing!”. Even a bit of warning would have allowed him to come with a funny but not embarrassing story. It was the most toe-curling thing I’ve sat through. The guy died on his arse. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. But I have to say I didn’t enjoy it. It was painful. A more mumbled, from-the-heart, short speech from a close friend would have been so much better.

suicide_circus

We had no speeches and unlimited free drink.

iamwhoiam

Heres Johnny wrote: »

Women have weddings ruined.
And gay wedding planners.
No way any men want a completely organised formal event miles from home with everyone they ever met invited.

Fancy seat covers. Chocolate fountains. Matching outfits. Organised seating plans. Names for each table. Calligraphic invitations. Make up artists and florists.

What's wrong with a few pints in a beer garden?

Nothing at all wrong with it if its what you want . But whats the problem with others not wanting what you want ? Surely its to each his own

Dakota Dan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Wow, very sour response. Believe me dude, I’ve no problem with bedding members of the more dangerous sex. Up to the seam of my nutpurse in fanny most weekends.

Calm down lad, have another read of that post and look carefully for the joke.

Galwayguy35

I've 2 weddings this year, the first one is a neighbour so I'll know most of the people there and the brother and his missus will be invited as well so will have a lift home.

That will be a good day out.

The second one is a guy I work with whop everyone hates and as I was the only person who made an effort to talk to him now I'm being invited to the wedding.

I'll know nobody at it and it's in Cork city so will have to stay over.

Dreading that one.

It's all right peeps saying don't go but that can be taken as an insult to many people, i know this fella would take it as one.

freshpopcorn

I blame the Franc dude!

Dakota Dan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

There's only one have to in this life and you know what that is.

Beechwoodspark

This craic of having the venue in a “unique, memorable” location is a load of bollix. Was at a wedding last year in an comically remote area up the Wicklow mountains in a sort of outdoor activity centre that had a function room. The main topic of conversation among the guests was how they managed to get there in one piece.

Load of people left early to navigate the treacherous roads home. What’s the point other than saving moolah for the B and G