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No one is coming to my wedding?

SazSarsh

I am getting married in April and myself and my fiancee invited 260 people.
86 are coming. I feel devastated and so let down. I knew the 260 people were not great friends of ours but we invited them because we wanted a big wedding like everyone else, like our siblings and our friends. We have not got many friends and we are both quiet people but that should not be an issue. I feel like a wedding with 86 people will be an embarrassment and people will say "they haven't got many friends". I really do not know what to do! I feel so upset and let down, as does my fiancee.
We are getting married in a local church and our reception is in a local hotel. The most a person will have to travel is 15 minutes! We made it this way so people would have no excuse to come. We are getting married on a Saturday so people are more likely to be off.
What is going on? Are we not liked by many people? I know at least 150 people don't have plans for that day but still won't come

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brendanwalsh

I don't see the big deal. 80 is still a big party and will fill out the guts of a church and a hotel reception. You'll have a great day.

Hitman3000

endacl wrote:

All of them? Odd in what way?

There may have been 32/33/34 Not sure hence 30 odd or 30+.

catrionanic

I think 86 is a great number. Big enough but not so large that you can’t get talking to everyone. We had 135 at ours (and then my in-laws invited the whole county in the evening so it was 250+), and I felt it was a few too many tables to get round and properly talk to everyone. Plus it was bloody expensive. 86 sounds like a lovely number to me!

threetrees

A wedding is an expensive day for someone you might only chat to sometimes on social media. Outfit, babysitter and a gift, church and venue local, but still, that's an expensive day for guests. Go with your closer 86 people and enjoy your day.

lawred2

SazSarsh wrote: »

I am getting married in April and myself and my fiancee invited 260 people.
86 are coming. I feel devastated and so let down. I knew the 260 people were not great friends of ours but we invited them because we wanted a big wedding like everyone else, like our siblings and our friends. We have not got many friends and we are both quiet people but that should not be an issue. I feel like a wedding with 86 people will be an embarrassment and people will say "they haven't got many friends". I really do not know what to do! I feel so upset and let down, as does my fiancee.
We are getting married in a local church and our reception is in a local hotel. The most a person will have to travel is 15 minutes! We made it this way so people would have no excuse to come. We are getting married on a Saturday so people are more likely to be off.
What is going on? Are we not liked by many people? I know at least 150 people don't have plans for that day but still won't come

Why would you want people who clearly aren't even remotely close friends at your wedding? To make money?

150 turn downs is a large number but there must be a reason.

Surely getting married in front of 80 people who do want to be there is better than getting married in front of almost 250 who don't!?

Heres Johnny

86 is perfect. If I could get away with only inviting about 20 people on my side and 40 or 50 on her side I'd be delighted. Actually think she'll be ok with this but we'll see!

Don't want every cousin I only see at funerals there or old neighbours I haven't talked to in 15 years.

JennyZ

OP You could always rent a crowd if you feel such a need to have a big wedding. It's about the two of you and your close friends and family. If you want a "big" wedding question why you would want that in the first place.

Stheno

Ive just copped the wedding is in April so just after Paddys and Easter with kids off school a week

Busy time for lots of folk and plenty of expense

Isnt late April also first communion season?

mcgiggles

SazSarsh wrote:

To be honest the others we don't just briefly know, they are people I called very good friends as a teenager but lost contact with them and haven't spoken to some of them in 5 years in person but we would talk on social media. We are lucky there is 86 because we both have a lot of aunts and uncles

Why do you need to have a big wedding just because everyone else is? The wedding is about ye getting married not competing with every other wedding you have been to. If you have that attitude on the day it won't make for a very enjoyable time at all in the lead up to it and on the day.
I wouldn't attend a wedding of someone i hadn't physically spoken to in over a year not to mind in 5 years! I'd be wondering why in the hell they invited me.. As someone said previously.. People know when they are invited to make up numbers and don't want to spend a fortune going to a wedding of someone they barely know...
I didn't want anyone at my wedding that wasn't close to me.. You may as well invite strangers! Enjoy the fact that you won't have a massive bill (like everyone else) the morning after the wedding! 86 is not a small wedding in my eyes. A small wedding would be like 20 people...

LiamaDelta

I feel like I'm being baited..but anyway...
What makes you think that people that haven't seen you in 5 years would want to go to your wedding?

alan partridge aha

Jeepers 33% going to the wedding is a very low return. Feel sorry for ye and hope you can enjoy the day anyway.

SazSarsh

LiamaDelta wrote: »

I feel like I'm being baited..but anyway...
What makes you think that people that haven't seen you in 5 years would want to go to your wedding?

No you are correct, we were silly inviting that many but I guess I thought Emma for example would come because we were very close 5 years ago and went on holidays together and made regular phone calls. This died off due to living distances and travel etc

Pawwed Rig

I had 80 or so people at mine. It was grand. Wouldn't have wanted hundreds of 'acquaintances' there. Noone I knew as a teen was invited unless I was still pretty involved with them.

Squatter

The OP is studying for his/her Leaving Cert according to this post: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=106166856

I really hope that her wedding won't interfere with her studies too much!

SazSarsh

Squatter wrote: »

The OP is studying for his/her Leaving Cert according to this post: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=106166856

I really hope that her wedding won't interfere with her studies too much!

No my sister and I share the same account as she wanted to ask a question on this one day and avoided the hassle of setting up an account. but why would i make up this if I was studying for my leaving cert. I would have better things to do doing.

LiamaDelta

SazSarsh wrote: »

No you are correct, we were silly inviting that many but I guess I thought Emma for example would come because we were very close 5 years ago and went on holidays together and made regular phone calls. This died off due to living distances and travel etc

When was the last regular phone call?

P.S. I'm not correct about anything, I asked a question.

UrbanFret

Squatter wrote: »

The OP is studying for his/her Leaving Cert according to this post: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=106166856

I really hope that her wedding won't interfere with her studies too much!

Is there an age limit on sitting the leaving cert ?

SazSarsh

LiamaDelta wrote: »

When was the last regular phone call?

P.S. I'm not correct about anything, I asked a question.

Not for about 5 years but there has been texts

tedpan

Squatter wrote: »

The OP is studying for his/her Leaving Cert according to this post: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=106166856

I really hope that her wedding won't interfere with her studies too much!

The friends from five years ago must have been in 6th class or 1st year. Makes sense that they lost touch.....

Zaph

SazSarsh wrote: »

No my sister and I share the same account as she wanted to ask a question on this one day and avoided the hassle of setting up an account. but why would i make up this if I was studying for my leaving cert. I would have better things to do doing.

If your sister needs to ask another question then please ensure that she has her own account. It is against Boards' rules to share accounts. Thank you.

SazSarsh

tedpan wrote: »

The friends from five years ago must have been in 6th class or 1st year. Makes sense that they lost touch.....

No one is listening to me here. My sister and I share this account because she wanted to ask a question on this one day and wanted to avoid the hassle of setting up an account. Thank God the leaving her is a long time ago for me!

Squatter

SazSarsh wrote: »

why would i make up this if I was studying for my leaving cert. I would have better things to do doing.

Maybe it's because you share some of your mother's possible bi-polarity!

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=106194557

SazSarsh

Zaph wrote: »

If your sister needs to ask another question then please ensure that she has her own account. It is against Boards' rules to share accounts. Thank you.

Sorry I was unaware of this. I won't allow it to happen again

jon1981

SazSarsh wrote: »

I know them well but haven't spoken to some of them face to face in about 5 years but have spoken to them on social media

Then why would they go?

DesperateDan

I don't think I know 86 people and will probably get married soon so I'm a bit f*cked if 86 is considered very small

I think small events can be much nicer though.

If expense was a problem I would go out of my way to insist people didn't bring gifts. I hate the idea of being handed a ****ty envelope of money begrudgingly by someone I only half know.

bilbot79

Didn't want more than 80 people at my wedding. Ended up with 90. It was a fabulous night

LiamaDelta

SazSarsh wrote: »

Not for about 5 years but there has been texts

So presumably you've absolutely no idea what's going on in her life now and maybe she can't come to the wedding.

Would you go to someones wedding if you hadn't actually spoken to them in 5 years and felt like you were invited to make up numbers?

shaunr68

Generation narcissism! How much is this circus going to cost?

Where friends are concerned, it's the quality not the quantity that counts. Inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry just to make up the numbers sounds as someone else put it, quite shallow, and of course they're not going to attend - they hardly know you.

The missus and I have been together 25 years but we never bothered getting married, we too are quiet, private individuals and neither of us likes being the centre of attention. If we'd ever tied the knot it would have been a no fuss affair with a small group of close friends and family.

Even better, a good friend went camping with his then girlfriend, they texted everyone a "Just Married" message from the campsite. No fuss, no expectations, everyone spared the expense and inconvenience, it was very considerate of them. They had a good pissup in the pub on their return.

Spanish Eyes

Childish assumptions going on here. I last saw her ten years ago and we whatsapp once a year Yay, come to my wedding so!

OP. You do sound quite immature and it's all for show. Sorry now. But think about it.

c6ysaphjvqw41k

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