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Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

wnolan1992

Ireland is scheduled to be buried under snow at 4pm tomorrow, so here's one last Liveline thread for the road. Enjoy.

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Skid X

The original caller conceived Fiver Friday as a day where you should go out and spend an extra few quid locally (not a bad idea, if you don't use local shops you can't moan when they close)

Somewhere along the line Joe Duffy claimed ownership and made a clunky version of it where the shops were meant to do Fiver Deals, hitting already tight margins.

And he got someone to put his face on a five euro note which shops were encouraged to put up in their windows.

Dan Jaman

Tenth time lucky, eh?

Badger2009

Is he currently in bed with the female tester?

MmmChocolate

"What was different about the tenth time?"

"I brought a gun, Joe. That got the smarmy cunt onside quick enough"

Dan Jaman

pilly wrote: »

What's AYCE?

All You Can Eat.

Kind of like a Duffy buffet.

Mena Mitty

Roger_007 wrote: »

Mattresses for a Foiver?

They'd be some beauties.

somesoldiers

apply somewhere else

[Deleted User]

Lilian Bland, aviator. The fastest person to be certified for solo flight in Ireland was a young lady called May, Captain Darby Kennedy certified her after 4 hours instruction. A working class girl, she worked very hard to afford the lessons but was an extraordinarily fast learner.

somesoldiers

take drugs to relax before the test- great advice

Badger2009

Ah Kauai's. Doped up drivers all over the place.

California - that explains it.

thecretinhop

wtf u cant take valium and drive? endangered testers life??

cozar

two valium!!!

[Deleted User]

Two Valium? That would knock you out unless you’re well hardened to them. Half a Valium might be a good suggestion in a few people, just to cut the anxious thinking pattern on s once off basis.

Mike Guide 69

Probably robbed the valium that was meant for the kids.

Huge fan, is she still on the valium now.....???

bottlebrush

I've only had to take valium once, prior to eye surgery, and there's no way I would have been fit to drive. very irresponsible advice.

PauloMN

She has loads of valium lying around the house, for anytime she has to listen to Liveline!

Dan Jaman

Ten Pin wrote: »

It's not bill pay so the most you lose out on is 20 euro or whatever credit balance is left, there's no direct debit or bills involved.

I don't like that they know whose phone it is, and my address, so not too keen on leaving myself open for a bill for OOB use. When I used it briefly, the apparent cap was being listed as 2TB, which was interesting.
It's academic anyway, as the phone isn't 4G, and until it is, I see no point is going down that road with it.
If this phone turns its toes up, I'll pick up a used 4G phone and look at it again.

They also do 750GB for 30 pm bill pay.

I'll have a look at that - they've shifted goalposts again.

Ally Dick

These people fleeced by Eir are always vague about the warnings they were given

thecretinhop

fateen is well out of order here the impression i got was that its ok to take a dangerous amount of drugs to do your driving test which must be illegal and super dangerous...

[Deleted User]

Just before my test for solo flight, Captain Kennedy slumped over in his seat, pretending to have a heart attack. I landed the aircraft, saying to myself if he’s just died he’ll have to stay dead til we we down. 20 minutes before that he switched off the engine, and only restarted it as we were about to touch down in a nice big field I picked for engine out landing. After all that he jumped out of the aircraft and shouted “three circuits please, Up you go”. That’s the initial flying test. Trouble is the airplane is so light without the weight of instructor that you have to figure out how to get it to come down! Fond memories of Weston circa 1980, long before I learned to drive!

ButtersSuki

Rock Lesnar wrote: »

I'll do it seen as Butters is not here

What colour was the car, caller?

Well done! Well done!

Dan Jaman wrote: »

Joe taking credit for the Fiver Froyday idea.

Ah Fook Off wit yisser all's FyverFryday.

meep wrote: »

1 Mb = 1 spoon of petrol

I've heard it all now!!

WTF?

BTW, Fateen thinks this is a Mega Bite:

Dan Jaman wrote: »

So, a Hidef movie is like a motorcycle tankful and a week's worth of movies would be like filling a bus?
Gotcha.

Which uses more petriddle - de pornhub or de redtube? Asking for a friend.......;)

TheHomeService wrote: »

Never underestimate the utter stupidity of people.

Esp. when they're Lahv Lahn callers.

jean contente wrote: »

A spoonful of petrol helps the megabytes go down.

I'm as lost as Joe is when faced with a Sudoku puzzle.

Roger_007 wrote: »

I think this caller's maths are on a par with Joe's?

Impossible. There can't be two adults who need Bust at Maths 4 as a Christmas present.

Badger2009 wrote: »

Mammy giving out that her son failed the driving test.

Appeal in court. What is wrong with some people.

Seriously?

Skid X wrote: »

The original caller conceived Fiver Friday as a day where you should go out and spend an extra few quid locally (not a bad idea, if you don't use local shops you can't moan when they close)

Somewhere along the line Joe Duffy claimed ownership and made a clunky version of it where the shops were meant to do Fiver Deals, hitting already tight margins.

And he got someone to put his face on a five euro note which shops were encouraged to put up in their windows.

Classic Fateen.....but as long as he's getting undue credit for it he's happy out.

Dan Jaman wrote: »

All You Can Eat.

Kind of like a Duffy buffet.

Any All You Can Eat Buffet Restaurant visited by Fateen would close that very day.

thecretinhop wrote: »

fateen is well out of order here the impression i got was that its ok to take a dangerous amount of drugs to do your driving test which must be illegal and super dangerous...

Sure drink driving is fine according to Fateen....es. if you have multiple convictions for drink driving in numerous jurisdictons....so i'd imagine a few drug-eens consumed before driving would be fine too?

BPKS

The Limerick mammy who rang in complaining about her 30 year old son failing his test for the 5th time.

She blamed the snow for him failing. It wasn't snowing in Limerick on the 27th Limerick Mammy.

Pity she didn't tell us the reg of the car he was driving too, just to embarrass the poor fella even more.

thecretinhop

more 5vr fryday something about insurance i had to endure simply red to get this to yeees..

ButtersSuki

On twodays' show:

"Gloat A Thon 2-18" really revving up now with de Green Fryday (radder dan Black Fryday so to speak - and yes, he did say that) dat is FyverFryday on de eve of St. Patrick's Day and dat coming up on de 16th of March and dat. Some wunderful, fantastic offers coming in already so to speak and send in yours now. Don't forget to tank Joe if you get called back and put on de radio and dat as it's really all down to him and his magnificence.
Woman moves from Clare to Limerick and her car inshure-dance goes up €165. I'm shocked to discover Limerick has a bad reputation and therefore an inshure-dance loading for crime (and I did foyve years dare in Uni. so to speak).
Matty Matticks Mistake of De Day (so far): €165 = 37 Fyvers according to Fateen. You'd tink wit de two EYEpads and de wan EYEfone dat wan a dem woood have a calculator to allow for basic multiplication like dis.......:rolleyes::rolleyes: leaving aside the fact he should be able to do it in his head. OR you'd tink he'd realise by now how crap he is at de Matty Matticks and do de sums BEFORE he went on air and wroted it down so he could read it and dat? Such a pro. :rolleyes:

Camp voyis outro? Of course! Of course!

ButtersSuki

De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 47
Joe Shows: 43
No Show Joe Shows: 4
Breakeens 4 Joe: 4
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 0
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Estimated fees to date dis year: €107,500*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.

ButtersSuki

thecretinhop wrote: »

more 5vr fryday something about insurance i had to endure simply red to get this to yeees..

Were you holding back the years tears so to speak caller?
Money's Too Tight To Mention....for Fateen.
Do The Right Thing and spend a Fyver locally on Green FyverFryday.

Ok, I'll stop now....

ButtersSuki

Won't be listening today folks....."enjoy".

jelutong

Did i catch a mention in the preview about a driving tester on yesterdays show saying, "some people just can't drive"?

Uncharted

jelutong wrote: »

Did i catch a mention in the preview about a driving tester on yesterdays show saying, "some people just can't drive"?

There are even people driving over innocent radio presenters poor legs out there caller.

ButtersSuki

jelutong wrote: »

Did i catch a mention in the preview about a driving tester on yesterdays show saying, "some people just can't drive"?

No on today's preview anyway as I heard that and provided a synopsis a few posts back - so to speak.