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Affair / Sexual chemistry

AwareWolf

New to this so hope I'm posting in right place. Never had an affair. Very happily married. Clicked with someone recently. And the chemistry was unreal! Didn't have sex nearly did. Married 15 years. Have never experienced this sexual chemistry. Now can't get it out of my head and want him NOW! But afraid of how I'll feel afterwards, and can I really forget it if I get it out of my system?

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vicwatson

AwareWolf wrote: »

I'm not leaving anyone. Read my posts or go away.

No, you go away with your cake and eat it attitude. It sucks. Which you might end up doing, for what?

NATLOR

What about the guy involved. Is he married/ attached does he know your married, do you see him regularly,have you known him long ?

AwareWolf

vicwatson wrote: »

No, you go away with your cake and eat it attitude. It sucks. Which you might end up doing, for what?

You may not like my attitude and that's fine. I'm not on here to entertain aggressive people.... So I won't engage further with you. You are not being helpful.

vicwatson

AwareWolf wrote: »

You may not like my attitude and that's fine. I'm not on here to entertain aggressive people.... So I won't engage further with you. You are not being helpful.

Oh relax, you were advised pages ago you are in after hours not the relationship forum, which is where you should have posted.

backspin.

What you are planning is selfish and cruel. Your husband will not like it but sounds like he will put up with it rather than lose his family.

vicwatson

backspin. wrote: »

What you are planning is selfish and cruel. Your husband will not like it but sounds like he will put up with it rather than lose his family.

Unlike the op that thinks getting the leg over is more important than her husband and children :rolleyes:

AwareWolf

NATLOR wrote: »

What about the guy involved. Is he married/ attached does he know your married, do you see him regularly,have you known him long ?

The more I read this question the more I think..... Yes I should forget about this guy. He has gf. I've no idea what she'd think ..... But like most women would prob hate me....so yes that makes me feel selfish..... Or bothers me.... Or is a good reason for me to stop it all.

AwareWolf

vicwatson wrote: »

Unlike the op that thinks getting the leg over is more important than her husband and children :rolleyes:

Absolutely not....

vicwatson

AwareWolf wrote: »

Absolutely not....

Then avoid this dude, you can’t have it all

AwareWolf

Yeah decision made either forget it or go to a counsellor. For those of you who helped thanks. For those who only had a go..... Think before you post. Not funny.

Rubberchikken

He may not be great in the sack. Is it really worth it? Only you can decide.

NATLOR

So a woman you have never met is making you question yourself more than the potential upset you would cause your husband and kids.Well done.

SuperSean11

Talk to your husband he might be fantasizing about this man aswell

vicwatson

AwareWolf wrote: »

Yeah decision made either forget it or go to a counsellor. For those of you who helped thanks. For those who only had a go..... Think before you post. Not funny.

Do both

SuperSean11

vicwatson wrote: »

Then avoid this dude, you can’t have it all

Says who?
As a famous scholar once said YOLO op.

garancafan

eviltwin wrote: »

....Thread carefully....

Good one.

Alerium

Why are people entertaining a troll?

brianregan09

He'll finish in 30 seconds , you'll have guilt for 30 years......but then again this is all probably fake

Alerium

I bet you OP is a 16 yo virgin male who is extremely bored.

PeterParker957

AwareWolf wrote: »

Arghus wrote: »

You came to the right place brand new boards user, amazing how you found after hours so quickly, you'll get loads of sincere advice around here.

You're being sarcastic I take it, this has been going round and round in my head. I just wanted opinions .... It's the reason I've joined boards. There's no one I can talk to about this..... Because my good old Catholic ireland family would KILL me.

4 pages in and now I'm certain it's either wind up or (more likely) someone from a stupid women's magazine getting material for a story.

fergus1001

This is a wind up, or

1 you have 0 respect for your husband

2 you have 0 respect for your children

You are an adult with children you are responsible for their upbringing, by going off and getting the leg over you automatically **** all over your duties as a parent

I firmly believe you are a wind up merchant or you definitely need some professional help and I feel sorry for your husband

JackTaylorFan

Can we have another referendum to prohibit opposite sex marriage - some of you clearly don't deserve it

worded

I will pay money to have this thread closed

Such drivel

JackTaylorFan

worded wrote: »

I will pay money to have this thread closed

Such drivel

Having read all the drivel - this sounds like a wind-up...

Chrongen

AwareWolf wrote: »

Totally want to stay in marriage. Am going no where as such. Don't want relationship just want to experience some thing that I know is going to be very good..... For the first time ever! It will b amazing sex. So you think it's possible to forget it afterwards. .?

Ride him and stop talking to us about it.

Come back when your head is even more fcuked.

ebbsy

AwareWolf wrote: »

Did you presume I'm a man? Sorry should have said....I'm a mum.

Well, you have done it at least once then.

Jawgap

My guess??

This is a sophisticated thread from Chore Sex Guy......

He set up the initial thread let it run for a bit then......ol and behold we get the post above^^^^^^^

Well played......it's a decent attempt to evade the mods

pilly

I'd be very worried if my husband didn't mind me sleeping with someone else.

nullzero

The OP was so concerned about this issue "she" registered on boards yesterday to take the pulse of After Hours on the subject...

Malayalam

If you are genuine, OP...

first of all I don't know what is with all the shock here about people having affairs. Affairs seem to be blooming de rigeur. People are regularly being unfaithful to each other. It's not like OP would be doing something ''special''.

And OP, that is the crux. It's not all that special at all, although you are using it to make yourself feel special. It's not something new, it's very basic biology and psychology. I would imagine you are bored, somewhere inside, in spite of protestations about happy love.

Most of sex - the very very most - is what happens between our ears. The consensual contact between any normalish penis and any normalish vagina is generally within a fairly limited, albeit pleasant, possible range of sensation. It's just physics. It's not like some people have special c0cks or anything, that cause electrical explosions upon contact, etc. So, what you have is not so much physical chemistry with this guy, as mental and emotional chemistry/projection. It is the mind that makes sex sizzle most. And the mind is super powerful.

Most people in long marriages go through periods of lusting after others. Maybe not all, but most, I reckon. And I mean real intense obsessive longing - after all the desire for mind-altering erotic bliss and self-forgetfulness in the body is a very strong one. It can last the space of a thought, or it can be incubated to last for a very long time. It depends what you choose to do with it. It depends how aware you are of yourself. You are a willing participant in the process.

Understanding and accepting your instinctive drives, but then disciplining yourself because you recognise the fundamental fallacies upon which the projection rests and becoming a mature human being is the remedy IF you wish to pursue monogamy.

If you don't wish to pursue monogamy and respect your faithful partner, then do whatever you want. You are your own moral boss. Own yourself like a grown up. Nobody else much cares what people do with their bits and pieces, except those directly involved.

My inclination would be to cultivate the long-time love and sexual relationship that is already there.