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Child Item

Should men consider taking the wife's name after tying the knot?

Foxhound38

Just read an interesting poll/article on the subject - link here if you want to read it.

The jist is that the man taking the woman's surname after marriage seems to be on the increase in the UK, and the article asks whether it could catch on here.

I don't personally know of any couples where this has happened in my circle of friends, although I do know of some where the wife has kept her surname unchanged.

Would I go that route myself? Probably not, although I wouldn't be one to insist on my name being taken either. A double-barrelled name would probably be an acceptable compromise provided it wasn't too unwieldy.

What about you fine citizens of AH? Would it be something the lads here would consider? Would it be something the ladies here would expect to be considered?

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[Deleted User]

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

I do know a guy who did it, but his dad was abusive a$$hole and he didn't want to carry the name on

Ha

I commend him, that's quality

Red_Wake

What balderdash, a man's name is the most important thing he has.

Dravokivich

It's not something that happens often, but there's examples out there of men taking women's names.

Ryan giggs, it's his mothers maiden name.

A rugby player called Billy twelvetrees, i understand it was his mothers name, that his father took on to make it the family name.

wakka12

I woudnt personally. i dont see anything wrong with the tradition of women taking the mans name. Its just the way it is, and she usually can keep her name if she wishes

suicide_circus

Nope soz. The name is carried through the male line. As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be.

Ipso

suicide_circus wrote: »

Nope soz. The name is carried through the male line. As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be.

If by beginning you mean about 400 years ago, then yes.
Let's go Viking and just throw a son or dotter at the end of the parents first name.

super_furry

Dravokivich wrote: »

A rugby player called Billy twelvetrees, i understand it was his mothers name, that his father took on to make it the family name.

Think I'd do the same, Twelvetrees is an awesome name.

buckwheat

joe stodge wrote: »

These are probably the same type of guys who have a shared Facebook account with the wife.

And go shopping with her when the football is on. All the time waiting for the sweet release of death.

suicide_circus

Ipso wrote: »

If by beginning you mean about 400 years ago, then yes.
Let's go Viking and just throw a son or dotter at the end of the parents first name.

400 years?

selwyn froggitt

I changed my name after I got married.

The Bitch still tracked me down though.

fxotoole

If her maiden surname was "Power", and my firstname was "Max", then HELL YEAH

fyfe79

uch wrote: »

I know a couple of Finn's that have taken their wives names, think it's common enough there, but open to correction

The gas thing about all this is, is if there was a debate about Finnish people switching from using the female surname to the male surname, there would be uproar!

My take is that I wouldn't personally do it. When you grow up with the idea that you will die with your name, it's hard to shift that idea to one which involves dropping your name and taking an entirely new one. Plus there would be a multitude of issues to correct regarding official usage etc. Allowances are made for women changing their name but a man changing his name would, I imagine, cause some issues/misunderstandings/delays when it comes to government paperwork. Why put yourself through the hassle, essentially?

Having said all that, if I hated my surname enough I would use the opportunity to change it to something meaningful, such as the name of the woman I married. And, to be fair, her maiden name was a cool one. I'd sound deadly with it!
When we got married she chose to keep her surname, but then changed it to a double-barreled name because she wanted her name to reflect the fact that she was now married. Eventually though she decided that the double-barreled name just didn't look right, so she's now just using my name.

evil_seed

super_furry wrote: »

Think I'd do the same, Twelvetrees is an awesome name.

36 for short

c_man

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

Out of curiosity why?

No cousins on that side of the family, no male siblings myself. The name is somewhat unusual and has an interesting story behind it. It'd be a shame for it to "die" in my generation.

Grayson

Red_Wake wrote: »

What balderdash, a man's name is the most important thing he has.

I believe you'll find a willy is more important to most.

BrokenArrows

I would hate to change my last name. Thankfully my wife was not a fan of hers to was happy to change.

Ipso

suicide_circus wrote: »

400 years?

Surnames started in Ireland very early (with the UiNiall dynasty I think), but they were mainly used for the elite.
I got into DNA testing and population genetics a while back and it looks like surname adoption was a bit fluid to say the least.
Have a look at www.familytreedna.com , they have surname projects. Go to a few Irish surnames and you'll see they are made of various lineages.
Be it people adopting names for various reasons, being forced to adopt surnames, cuckoldry, informal adoptions etc.
Take Walsh for example, it's something like the 5th most popular name in Ireland and the meaning is basically a Welsh person (implying the Cambro Normans and their cohort), but it's safe to say a large number of Welsh men didn't replace the Irish population.

DEFTLEFTHAND

How would it work with any potential children though.

Personally I don't mind double barreled surnames as an alt option.

Triceratops Ballet

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

How would it work with any potential children though.

I imagine any kids would just have the same name as both their parents, whichever one they decided to use

seamus

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

How would it work with any potential children though.

Personally I don't mind double barreled surnames as an alt option.

Other languages and cultures have their own traditions.

This notion of the women taking the man's surname is relatively recent and certainly not universal.

It's actually kind of fascinating to see not only the variations in traditions, but also the absolute conviction with which people hold onto those traditions, as if they have always been like that and always will be.

The amount of people who seem to be under the impression that their surname has been passed down for thousands of years, hundreds of generations, is incredible.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Deleted User wrote: »

But doing the exact opposite of tradition is tryhard pointmaking.

No, no it's not.

fyfe79

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

How would it work with any potential children though.

Personally I don't mind double barreled surnames as an alt option.

And when the kids grow up and marry, would their kids then have quadruple-barreled surnames?

Triceratops Ballet

fyfe79 wrote: »

And when the kids grow up and marry, would their kids then have quadruple-barreled surnames?

they take one from each, that's how it works in most latin cultures

Donald Trump

kylith wrote: »

A friend of mine has a very unusual name, in fact were she to take her partner's name should she get married there would then be no-one with her surname in the country. In that case I think her husband should take her name, to ensure that the kids would have it too and save it from dying out.

I know her. but there is a reason why her name is dying out.

I heard Daniel Day Lewis might come out of retirement to do a film about her

"Mary, last of the Cuntfaces"

fyfe79

Triceratops Ballet wrote: »

they take one from each, that's how it works in most latin cultures

Yeah, was thinking one would be dropped. Which then indicates that in terms of lineage, one name will be considered more important than the other. I'd imagine that traditionally the name being dropped in this scenario is usually the female surname or the male surname? As in, not usually a random choice?

Snickers Man

judeboy101 wrote: »

Great way to have multiple id's with different names

Well if people can be Gender Fluid why not "Surname Fluid" ?

[Deleted User]

Braylee Aggressive Nag wrote: »

No, no it's not.

I shall endeavour to avoid going into my "end of the road" mode of discourse

But most of the time it is, imo.

And if it's over something as featherlight as this, then yes, yes it definitely is imo

Red_Wake

Grayson wrote: »

Red_Wake wrote: »

What balderdash, a man's name is the most important thing he has.

I believe you'll find a willy is more important to most.

If you give up your name, it's implicit that you've discarded your dick.

Triceratops Ballet

fyfe79 wrote: »

Yeah, was thinking one would be dropped. Which then indicates that in terms of lineage, one name will be considered more important than the other. I'd imagine that traditionally the name being dropped in this scenario is usually the female surname or the male surname? As in, not usually a random choice?

I think they have quite specific laws about it, so I could be wrong but say when I'm born my parents names are Maria Garcia Hernandez and Eduardo Delgado Martinez then I become either Triceratops Garcia Delgado or Triceratops Delgado Garcia, then my kids will take whichever is first in my name and whatever is first in my partners in either order, but really it could be the maternal or the paternal name first

Martina1991

I can think of plenty of reasons for wanting to take the wife’s name.

The woman might have kids under her name and no point changing the names of all the kids as well as the wife.
Having childhood issues with their families and wanting to rid themselves of the family name.
Keeping family names alive if the wife has no brothers.
Having an embarrassing name like Longbottom or something.

Each to their own I suppose.