MaroonAndGreen wrote: » Very similar situation in fact. I was shocked at being asked how and when I travelled home. Who was I attending too? What's wrong with them? This was all after I had said it's a family emergency, was told that's not enough, I replied "is that not a sufficient reason, there is no need for details here surely?". And I basically gave in to the pressure of a stern manager on the other side of the phone. Looking back I'm sorry I didn't hold my ground and say no I'm sorry but that's private. The more I think about it the more inappropriate I think it was that I was required to go into them details.
davo10 wrote: » Maybe I'm reading this wrong, you were absent from work without leave being granted, you weren't sick, you weren't unable to work, you are not claiming it as FM, but you are unhappy with being asked for details/explanation as to why you were absent from work? So, let's say a colleague wants a lie in or hasn't gotten a day off when requested and decides to call in giving the same meagre details you did, how's the Boss supposed to know which one to believe?
MaroonAndGreen wrote: » I was absolutely unable to work. I had a family member dependent on me who was unwell. Someone asked the industry. Insurance.
MaroonAndGreen wrote: » Someone asked the industry. Insurance.
davo10 wrote: » MaroonAndGreen wrote: » I was absolutely unable to work. I had a family member dependent on me who was unwell. Someone asked the industry. Insurance. Sorry but you are absolutely wrong, you were not unfit for work, you took a day for personal reasons. I am not disputing the fact that you needed to be at home, but I believe your employer has a right to know why you didn't turn up for work when you were fit to do so.
MaroonAndGreen wrote: » I gave an explanation, but I'm unhappy at the detail I was pressured into going into. I understand an explanation is needed I just thought it was inappropriate the level of detail asked.
dr.fuzzenstein wrote: » MaroonAndGreen wrote: » I gave an explanation, but I'm unhappy at the detail I was pressured into going into. I understand an explanation is needed I just thought it was inappropriate the level of detail asked. Just one thing I want to clarify, did you ring in advance and let your employer know you weren't going to make it, or did you just not turn up and dealt with it the next day? That could explain the company being a bit more dickish about the whole thing. If you did ring ahead, yeah, totally overboard.
J Mysterio wrote: » I think the real problem is the manner of questioning. The implication.
MaroonAndGreen wrote: » The manner of questioning was as though I was lying. Which has me riled up to be honest. The least of my worries was my workplace. And then having to justify it with all the details over the phone at that time was wrong IMO.
lawred2 wrote: » MaroonAndGreen wrote: » The manner of questioning was as though I was lying. Which has me riled up to be honest. The least of my worries was my workplace. And then having to justify it with all the details over the phone at that time was wrong IMO. Was it your line manager or someone from HR? HR people are often seasoned ars€holes who would wind up the most placid of us..
the_pen_turner wrote: » i think the real question should be , where is the line between being a legit reason and an excuse. surely what the employer is doing is looking for a reason to complain about the reason.
MaroonAndGreen wrote: » Is there anything more possibly legit than a family problem? If my manager was to get a call that her kids were very poorly, is she gona stay at her desk for the rest of the day or go to bring them to the doctor? You know what I mean.
Stheno wrote: » Yes people can be very manipulative. When you first rang in did you say something vague like " a family member is ill, I can't come in tomorrow as I've to care for them"?
MaroonAndGreen wrote: » Almost my exact words to be honest.
dr.fuzzenstein wrote: » I don't see a problem with that. No one should expected the Spanish Inquisition in that case. (unless they're pulling that every week) Asking who was it, what was wrong with them, how did the OP travel there is invasive and unnecessary. And the manner of questioning in this case is borderline bullying. But of course line manager in insurance is going to be used to grilling people on every tiny detail of their claim, so this would extend to employees I guess. Personally, if a family member is ill, I'll go and care for them and my boss can bite me. If he wants to twist a rope out of that for me, he can see how that flies later on. Thankfully I work in a very good office and won't have that worry. But fired/disciplinary for caring for a loved one won't get far. Some things have to be more important than work.
Stheno wrote: » Were you then asked which family member and what illness they had that meant you'd to stay away from work to mind them? If e.g. it was your partner and you'd kids, and you'd to take the day off to deal with the kids, fine, if e.g. they have a chronic illness and are incapacitated that's also fine. If they had a cold or the winter vomiting bug, that would be different imo. THe travel thing is weird, however, I see no issue in asking who the family member was and why they were ill. In extremis, I once had a member of staff who had six grandparents die in two years, and in another organisation I worked in management regularly checked rip.ie to check out supposed deaths of family members.
lawred2 wrote: » The winter vomiting bug is nothing whatsoever like a cold.
Stheno wrote: » I've had the winter vomiting bug, I didn't need my partner to stay home to mind me tbh. Yes it was thoroughly crap, but I just needed to sleep, and take in lots of fluids. A partner who made sure the house was rightly heated, and left plenty of fluids by my locker would still be able to go to work. I've had bad colds, where I literally spend time in bed shivering, puking, and exhausted, not dissimilar to the winter vomiting bug.
dr.fuzzenstein wrote: » Stheno wrote: » Yes people can be very manipulative. When you first rang in did you say something vague like " a family member is ill, I can't come in tomorrow as I've to care for them"? I don't see a problem with that. No one should expected the Spanish Inquisition in that case. (unless they're pulling that every week) Asking who was it, what was wrong with them, how did the OP travel there is invasive and unnecessary. And the manner of questioning in this case is borderline bullying. But of course line manager in insurance is going to be used to grilling people on every tiny detail of their claim, so this would extend to employees I guess. Personally, if a family member is ill, I'll go and care for them and my boss can bite me. If he wants to twist a rope out of that for me, he can see how that flies later on. Thankfully I work in a very good office and won't have that worry. But fired/disciplinary for caring for a loved one won't get far. Some things have to be more important than work.
Stheno wrote: » MaroonAndGreen wrote: » Almost my exact words to be honest. Were you then asked which family member and what illness they had that meant you'd to stay away from work to mind them? If e.g. it was your partner and you'd kids, and you'd to take the day off to deal with the kids, fine, if e.g. they have a chronic illness and are incapacitated that's also fine. If they had a cold or the winter vomiting bug, that would be different imo. dr.fuzzenstein wrote: » I don't see a problem with that. No one should expected the Spanish Inquisition in that case. (unless they're pulling that every week) Asking who was it, what was wrong with them, how did the OP travel there is invasive and unnecessary. And the manner of questioning in this case is borderline bullying. But of course line manager in insurance is going to be used to grilling people on every tiny detail of their claim, so this would extend to employees I guess. Personally, if a family member is ill, I'll go and care for them and my boss can bite me. If he wants to twist a rope out of that for me, he can see how that flies later on. Thankfully I work in a very good office and won't have that worry. But fired/disciplinary for caring for a loved one won't get far. Some things have to be more important than work. THe travel thing is weird, however, I see no issue in asking who the family member was and why they were ill. In extremis, I once had a member of staff who had six grandparents die in two years, and in another organisation I worked in management regularly checked rip.ie to check out supposed deaths of family members.
Wanderer78 wrote: » Some employers are just plain weird, **** happens in life from time to time and people require time to deal with it. We 're all adults here, no bull**** excuses should be required to explain absence, if employer wants more details and this is deemed too personal or crossing a line, employers should expect bull**** back.
