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Did You succeed on your own

AllForIt

I was thinking about transferable wealth and how much that transferable wealth has assisted people to succeed in life, meaning that assets/wealth from the family you come from has been critical to the job/success in life you have.

Okay my question might seem vague so I'll ask a few questions which should clarify where I'm coming from.

1. When you went to university/college did you have any support? Did you either live at home which meant you didn't have to pay rent or did your parents pay for your accommodation while you studied?

2. In the case of non-academic work, did you get that job easily, did someone for example recommend you for the job based on some recommendation based on the fact that your related to someone who works in the same area, or something similar.

3. If you are married, could you survive by yourself, if you weren't married.

4. If your married did you attain some wealth/security because you married. I.E, you married someone that had some assets, be it a inheritance or something similar.

5. Have you inherited anything from your family particularly before they died... for example a farm ..or a small business...that stands to you that supports your individual sense of security that has hugely assisted you in your success in life.

6. Is anyone in the position that they haven't gained any assistance at all from the family one comes from, but you survived all by yourself, and how did that work out for you.

7. Have your family members benefited more than you from the assets/wealth your family has. I.E, you lost out because the wealth/assets weren't distributed evenly.

8. Do you have a nice car, a nice house, a mortgage, a house with a nice garden, and did you do it all by yourself, without any assistance whatsoever from either your family or friends or anyone at all.

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[Deleted User]

I was brought up by a single parent in a council house. My Mother worked 3 jobs to make sure we lived a relatively good live despite the situation we were in. My grandmother lived nearby and looked after us when my Mother was working, thankfully.

I paid for a lot of my college accommodation myself. My grandmother paid some of it. Also got a grant. But was working since I was 14 and always had to pay for pretty much everything myself after that. Clothes, socialising, my braces etc etc.. Luckily I found it easy to get part-time jobs during school/college. In the summers I used to work 70 hour weeks, grand when you're young!

Got my job by applying online. Was very lucky as I got it a few months after college and was very well paid for the age I was at the time. Still in it now.

Not married but in a LTR for the past 5 years and living together. Yes, I could survive alone. I earn more than he does. But we split everything. He comes from a very similar family background to me so not bringing in any "wealth"!

I haven't inherited anything and more than likely never will as my family don't have much money. My Mother will solely inherit a house and some money when my Grandmother dies but hopefully that won't be anytime soon. My Mother has always said she'd give my brother and I money from the house but I probably wouldn't take it.

I rent a house, have an 11 year old car and will probably buy a house in a few years. Won't get any financial assistance from anyone but may move into a relatives house to save money for a deposit.

Some people don't realise how lucky they have it with financial support from their families. I'll admit I've always been jealous of these people. Most of my friends really! But I've done grand for myself so far and it could have been a lot lot worse

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

WHIP IT!

Pinch Flat wrote:

What's even funnier is that people have singled out posters who posted their own story without either contributing themselves or appreciating in anyway where the poster was coming from.

I posted, Brah... and it was a humdinger, if I do say so myself!

fg1406

Parents paid for my rent when i was in college but I had to take out a loan/work to pay fees/transport/food etc. Other than that, no transferable wealth, no wealth from my husband, every single cent I have is due to my own savings. Everything I have or I've done (in terms of funding travel etc) was on the basis of working and saving.

Jogathon

AllForIt wrote: »

1. When you went to university/college did you have any support? Did you either live at home which meant you didn't have to pay rent or did your parents pay for your accommodation while you studied? I stayed at home, worked a part-time job. Had a car bought for me so I could spin in and out of uni. All meals cooked and clothes bought for me. My part-time job was my socialising and petrol money.

2. In the case of non-academic work, did you get that job easily, did someone for example recommend you for the job based on some recommendation based on the fact that your related to someone who works in the same area, or something similar.My area of work... my parents set me up with connections.

3. If you are married, could you survive by yourself, if you weren't married. Not married, surviving fine!

4. If your married did you attain some wealth/security because you married. I.E, you married someone that had some assets, be it a inheritance or something similar.N/a

5. Have you inherited anything from your family particularly before they died... for example a farm ..or a small business...that stands to you that supports your individual sense of security that has hugely assisted you in your success in life.I have inherited from my grandmother. It helped with a deposit for a house.

6. Is anyone in the position that they haven't gained any assistance at all from the family one comes from, but you survived all by yourself, and how did that work out for you.

7. Have your family members benefited more than you from the assets/wealth your family has. I.E, you lost out because the wealth/assets weren't distributed evenly.No. My parents are very funny. They have it now, so give it to us now, but theres a list of monies given to each child and they say when they die all is to be divided evenly... minus what we've taken individually up to that point!

8. Do you have a nice car, a nice house, a mortgage, a house with a nice garden, and did you do it all by yourself, without any assistance whatsoever from either your family or friends or anyone at all.

I've been very lucky, my parents have helped with everything.

Donald Trump

Yes. It was all me. all on my own. A self made man. Just a small loan from the oul' fella. A few million. Basically nothing. You're all losers

Bambi985

Come from a wealthy enough background, didn't really realise the extent of it until I went to college and made friends who had to take part-time jobs or get grants to get by.

Parents put me through college and didn't have to think about money until I graduated at 22. That said I've been completely self sufficient since then, moved abroad at 25 and never took handouts from the folks or could rely on family connections for a job. Have worked my arse off in a notoriously tough industry to prove myself and move up the ladder.

hope to go back to college and buy a house in the next few years and that will be all self-funded. Parents would probably help out if I asked them but they're both retired now and have enough to worry about (like funding my little sister through every whim she takes)

Winterlong

My parents set me up with a good education and the skills needed to do well on my own. It was up to me after that.
I think I have done ok but probably could have done a lot better as I also inherited the lazy gene.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

lawred2

My old man worked his ass off to put the three of us though third level.. He is not a particularly wealthy man he just valued education.

My wife and I have a house with a garden. We saved and paid for it ourselves. There were no help outs with deposits from either side.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

irishman86

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Got zero help in life. For college, was lucky enough to get "the grant" as we hadn't a bean. All my jobs I've gotten by just applying and doing an interview. Now work in a managers job in a consultancy firm - doing ok.

Always had some sort of part time job / earner in college for money. Headed to Germany for summer work after each year. Did an Erasmus year where i got by on money saved from previous year and getting tax back.

I emigrated to the uk in 1995 from being on on the dole with literally pounds in my pocket. Managed to scrape by - was lucky enough to have a relation put me up for a few weeks until I got established. My first house share I had no bed clothes until I got paid. Struggled to get the deposit / months rent in advance.

Bought my house when I came back in 2000 - saved the desposit and borrowed modestly.

I see friends and relations who've had leg ups through their life - college paid, allowances, money for house deposit / furnishings / car etc from their parents. I do wonder about their resourcefulness when they've got to sort something out themselves.

Got zero help but lived with a relation when you moved to London

conorhal

myshirt wrote: »

You've hit some excellent points op, but hopefully not right after you hit a bong.

This is a huge issue in Ireland that hasn't been debated enough. No doubt.

When our parents told us to stop crying or they'll give us something to cry about, little did we know they meant they would destroy the housing market, multiply the debt, up their pensions, and so on, all on the back of debt that the youth of Ireland pay for now. Currently there is a charade going on between senior civil servants and unions in 'pay talks', where they pretend they are talking about sensible financial decisions, but the reality is they are talking about how best to keep the party going on the back of the young worker.

Serious inequality of opportunity that has emerged in this country emerged from direct intervention in fiscal policy, bad in the private sector, way way way f#cking worse in the public, but still everyone seems to think their position in life has 100% been through their own effort and self efficacy.

Someone who is better than me on the psychology of it might come along here and weigh in, but the crux of it is essentially people of lower ability, but of family means, develop an internal illusion where they mistakenly assess their cognitive ability as greater than it is. This illusionary superiority is some sort of metacognitive inability of low-ability persons to recognize their own ineptitude and the real drivers of the position they hold in life. Without such self-awareness and a basic level of financial and economic literacy, they cannot objectively evaluate their actual competence or incompetence as relates to their position in life.

The short and small of it is we can't just pull assets from people, but what we can do is lower Capital Acquisition Tax thresholds and raise Capital Acquisition Tax rates so that no wealth is passed on to perpetuate the issue and what happened the youth in this county by the baby boomers and early gen'x'ers.

It is disgusting for example that up to 7 out of 10 FTB'S are getting part or all of a deposit off their parents. Completely dysfunctional. This is money that needs to be heavily taxed, along with inheritances post death.

Unless your Da is Michael Noonan or Sean Fitzpatrick then I assure you that 'our parents' did none of that. I'm sick of a generation being blamed for the sins of the same 1% elite that have always run this country to their advantage.
My parents educated themselves from very humble beginnings , emigrated, twice, started their own business, bought their own home, paid their taxes and they, like 99% of the rest of their generation, have never been part of any elite that ran this country into the ground and then sold it all to vulture funds. And I assure you that there people you're age with their hands on the levers of power that are pat of that same elite that will be screwing your children down the line also. Will you're kids generation be having a moan at your for that?

SpitItOut

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

No, I was lucky enough to be born into a vibrant family business.

The only hardship I incurred was when transitioning from college into the business. I got no special treatment at all, my Dad made sure of that. Had to pay my dues.

Your special treatment was getting the job!

Sue Pa Key Pa

I achieved nothing without the support of my family and am now fortunate enough to pass that on

notsoyoungwan

I come from a very large family (thanks to devout Catholic parents!) so despite both my parents working full time in decent jobs, money was always tight. And my parents were funnelling money into our education rather than anything else. We never had holidays away, the latest toys, loads of clothes etc. Santa brought us toys but he also always brought some necessity like new shoes. We each got a new dress/suit for our own first communion but other than that the bulk of our clothes were hand-me-downs from older siblings or cousins in America who used send us boxes of clothes annually.

My parents really prioritised education, and I will be eternally grateful to them for that. We never qualified for grants, so they funded all of us (8) through college, paying our fees, rent, food, bills, books etc. We never had spare cash for mad socialising but hey, necessity is the mother of invention and we all enjoyed college life! They were adamant they never wanted any of us to work part time whilst in college, as it would distract from our studies, and they didn't want us working during our summers as they believed we should enjoy the freedom of long holidays, which would be a thing of the past once we left college.

They really made huge sacrifices to educate each and every one of us, and we all did well, all of us now have what would be considered 'good jobs' with decent salaries and a good quality of life.

From their point of view, they considered it 'job done' once we qualified. They gave us each money for our first month's rent and deposit and for some work clothes. They gave it as a gift but the tradition became that it was repaid ASAP with a generous gift bought for them too.

They didn't give any assistance with house deposits, stamp duty, paying for weddings, childcare, allowing anyone move home rent free etc, nor was it expected of them.

So yes, I got considerable assistance in gaining an education that facilitated me getting reliable and well-paid employment, but I got no further financial assistance. There was no 'pull' in any job I got.

I am single, so am managing just fine on my own. I have a modest home in a lovely area, which meets my needs. I could afford a more 'fancy' or extravagant house but I don't want one, I love the home I have. I took out a 20 year mortgage but will have it paid off in about half that time.

Inheritance wise, I really have no idea what will come my way. My folks are in their twilight years now, but it's not something they'd ever discuss and I wouldn't dream of asking. They're spending money on things now which make their lives easier, and that's great to see. If they end up spending everything they have, well good on them, they certainly deserve it after decades of frugality and sacrifice.

Pinch Flat

irishman86 wrote: »

Got zero help but lived with a relation when you moved to London

Yeah for 3 weeks. Love the way people have latched on to this.

I endured so much hardship for the first 23 years of my life that those criticising me would have difficulty managing.

lawred2

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Yeah for 3 weeks. Love the way people have latched on to this.

I endured so much hardship for the first 23 years of my life that those criticising me would have difficulty managing.

Wallow much!?

Pinch Flat

lawred2 wrote: »

Wallow much!?

Hah another one. It is after hours though, so aware certain people will be getting the horn for this.

Anyway I'm lucky enough in the top 5% earners in the country according to the CSO, so quite glad where I ended up.

steddyeddy

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Hah another one. It is after hours though, so aware certain people will be getting the horn for this.

Anyway I'm lucky enough in the top 5% earners in the country according to the CSO, so quite glad where I ended up.

It grates on some people that you had to work harder than them. Leave them too it.

Lau2976

Not really. I could have if I wanted to, my parents have good jobs and could have helped out if I asked. I also could have lived at home if I wanted to, my sisters did.

I moved out while at college, I worked in a cinema, mostly nights and weekends. I started my business at 16 and continued to run it through college.

Parents haven't affected my jobs and I have never inherited anything.

Surreptitious

My parents helped me with travel tickets so I could move away when I was young but then it was up to me to find work there and support myself which I did. The first time I went to college they paid for it while I worked PT to make some extra money. After that it was full time work all the time and further education like 3 level 6s I paid for myself and finally back to university which I also paid for with no help from my folks and worked full time through years of it. So I did get help which I'm grateful for but always get reminded of it since I'm the only one in the family that got to travel or go to college.
People can give you a bit of help but it's up to you to do the actual graft to make something of yourself and definitely through any course or job I had it wasn't made easy for me but that only pushes you further to prove something. From first hand experience I have seen people treated differently because of who their family are and if they know the boss/lecturer etc. I have no doubt that some people are spoon fed through life and haven't a clue about serious pressure.

Galwayguy35

Came from a poor backround but most people who were born in my age group could say the same thing.

IMO growing up poor learned me the value of money, college wasn't an option so never had a high paying job but I always put some money aside from the time I started working and now have my own place and a car to get me around.

irishman86

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Yeah for 3 weeks. Love the way people have latched on to this.

I endured so much hardship for the first 23 years of my life that those criticising me would have difficulty managing.

Weve all had difficulties dude, saying others would have struggled managing is nonsense as you dont know us.
3 weeks is still more than zero buddy, Im sorry I wont be the one to give you a pat on the back as I feel I could have had a harder life I just dont feel pity about it

irishman86

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Hah another one. It is after hours though, so aware certain people will be getting the horn for this.

Anyway I'm lucky enough in the top 5% earners in the country according to the CSO, so quite glad where I ended up.

Any chance you are Drake, started from the bottom and all that :rolleyes:

Mr_Muffin

Growing up in Ireland opens up a whole lot more opportunities than people realise - I would say this alone gives us all a good start in life.

What's wrong with accepting help when it's offered anyway? We as a nation constantly say that people should ask for and accept help when needed but when it comes to 'being successful' this apparently goes out the window.

I know people who have inherited farms/businesses worth millions and still work crazy hours to keep them afloat - what else are they supposed to do? Just say 'No thanks - Let's leave the business to die because I want to do it all on my own'

Everyone loves a 'rags to riches' story.

eeguy

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Yeah for 3 weeks. Love the way people have latched on to this.

I endured so much hardship for the first 23 years of my life that those criticising me would have difficulty managing.

People latched onto you saying you had zero help in life (apart from thousands from the government in grants and social welfare, plus the help of family)

Fair play to you for getting where you are, but you have to admit it it was bad phrasing.

There's not a single person in this country that got by with zero help. With all the social benefits afforded by the government in child benefit, free education, grants and other social factors, the only factors that really impact where you land in life are your parents and you.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Wompa1

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Growing up in Ireland opens up a whole lot more opportunities than people realise - I would say this alone gives us all a good start in life.

What's wrong with accepting help when it's offered anyway? We as a nation constantly say that people should ask for and accept help when needed but when it comes to 'being successful' this apparently goes out the window.

I know people who have inherited farms/businesses worth millions and still work crazy hours to keep them afloat - what else are they supposed to do? Just say 'No thanks - Let's leave the business to die because I want to do it all on my own'

Everyone loves a 'rags to riches' story.

Absolutely! We are very privileged in Ireland. I've been living in the US for over 5 years. I wouldn't have had the same opportunities if I had grown up here.

eeguy

Wompa1 wrote: »

Absolutely! We are very privileged in Ireland. I've been living in the US for over 5 years. I wouldn't have had the same opportunities if I had grown up here.

Exactly, there's few in Ireland who come out of education with just a leaving cert.
Nearly everyone goes into further education and emerges (relatively) debt free.

The world is your oyster, you can travel, you can work pretty much anywhere in the world, but you have to put the effort in early on.

I've seen the amount people pay for college in the US and it'd make you feel sick.