Widdershins wrote: » All I am saying is you can't expect people to think you're not any of the things the poster listed ere as follows: ''Anybody who cheats or has an affair is Disrespectful , weak and self centred'' It's hardly something done out of respect, or strength, or consideration for others, is it? There's no two ways about that, even if the cheater is not a bad person and has tried their best in a relationship and is being treated badly. Even if they're lonely and frustrated. There are numerous reasons why some cheating is worse than others but it still doesn't change that they're not doing it out of respect, strength or thoughtfulness. Sometimes it's the complete opposite-and sometimes it's desperation and a need for human contact. But never the above qualities.
XsApollo wrote: » Do you think that if a person cheats regardless of their situation that they are a disrespectful, weak and a self centred person? Which is what the post I first quoted said.
Widdershins wrote: » But you can rarely judge a whole person on one act, mainly because there are different motivations for it. I think the ACT is disrespectful, weak and self centred. How could it be anything else? However, some people have more understandable reasons for doing it.
XsApollo wrote: » I agree with you the act is what it is. A lot of acts are bad but the person doing the act can be many things depending on circumstances and can't all be tainted with same brush.
Widdershins wrote: » I don't know though. I think I would see it as having done a bad thing, albeit for a good reason. Or been a bad person -in that moment-good/valid- reason. I don't think having a good excuse lessens anything. How many times can a good person do a bad thing and still consider themself a good person? As often as they feel they have an excuse for?
HensVassal wrote: » Someone implied that cheating can cause the spread of STDs. I pointed out that you do not have to cheat to spread or contract an STD. You can do so simply by sleeping around as a single person. Then the original post came back and re-qualified his statement. Do I have to spell it out for you?
XsApollo wrote: » That's the thing tho imo a good person won't do something bad unless there is a valid reason and it doesn't make them a bad person for doing it. Where as a bad person will do what they want regardless. Killing someone for example. Is Padraig Nally a bad person for killing the frog. Or a father who kills the person that molested there child, can't be held in the same breath as a thief who killed someone to rob them. They have all killed someone, but are very different people. Anyway I sort of agree with you but not totally :-P Bad people do bad things. Good people can do bad things if they have reason to.
Widdershins wrote: » I agree you can remain an essentially good person despite doing bad things for certain reasons. I think I could easily become a bad person once I started doing bad things that I justified to myself each time, though. I could keep justifying and keep doing bad things. Not necessarily anything that harms others, but I get into bad habits if I *allow myself* to because I have an *excuse*. Sometimes I have to disciplined despite my excuses
XsApollo wrote: » Well you need a valid reason obviously :-P You can't just start doing what you like and use some crap excuse to justify it. Then you will be a bad person yes :-)
Widdershins wrote: » My excuses probably would be considered valid..I'm thinking back to times when I was treated badly by others and did things I wouldn't have done if I wasn't under stress. For a while I took the easier option of taking comfort/relief in making a bad choice. A lot of people would say I wasn't a bad person even if I had continued to do the same things for as long as I was in a negative situation. Maybe I'd never have made the right choice if I'd indulged myself and told myself ''it's ok because you're in a bad situation''.
HensVassal wrote: » The women they cheat with are single, for example.
professore wrote: » Plenty of single men cheat with married women. And in my view you are pretty much as bad as the cheater if you go with a married person. And most of them know they are married.
tomwaterford wrote: » Your not....if your single. ...you owe noone nothing,it's the other person is 100% wrong in this instance
Flimpson wrote: » I disagree with professore that the single person is as bad as the cheater but I also disagree that the single person has no responsibility - they have of course; they are the one enabling the cheating! It wouldn't happen without them. It might not be 50/50 but it can't be 100% the cheater when it takes two to tango.
Bambi wrote: » I'd say there's many of us would never have been born if it was'nt for humanities instinct to do a bit milking outside the bucket Did they ever bring in mandatory testing for parentage? Say that would be interesting
tomwaterford wrote: » Nah....il have to disagree tbh It's not their job to care....if the person cheating not cheating with you...they will be someone else
sashafierce wrote: » This post has been deleted.
Walter H Price wrote: » What about if all you want is no stings attached sex ?? that's as good with a married person as it is with a singleton in my experience, so no real concern about how it ends. The onus totally isn't on the non married or committed person they have made no commitment or vow to anybody, so why should they care.
Walter H Price wrote: » Still wouldn't view that as my responsibility , i never made any commitment to them to be honest i never even met the husbands of one of those two married women ... whatever happens after is on the person who broke their vows etc... they made a commitment , they broke it simple as. I wouldn't want my OH to cheat on me , i believe the lesson i leaned from the two married women i was with was to be fully involved in the relationship and make sure shes satisfied emotionally and sexually, be open communicate and stay in tune ... if she did cheat, my sense of anger and upset would come more at my own failing then at her infidelity.
