MeatTwoVeg wrote: » This 80/20 thing sounds like a load of sh1te. I suspect it's a theory dreamed up by unsuccessful guys to explain their dating failures. Most women would hook up with most guys. Most guys would hook up with most women. Assuming you're not spectacularly ugly or out of shape, you have a reasonable chance to pick up people of the opposite sex if you make some effort.
Cornelius Crow wrote: » I know what youre talking about but i don't think it bears any relation to the fact that myexperience would suggest there's a generation of men who don't grasp how to make conversation or why ot would be of importance. I couldn't give a fiddlers if a guy is doing the "mass swipe" thing, or we do converse and it becomes obvious that we're not suited so subsequently unmatches me. When a guy sends a message saying hi or whatever, and doesn't demonstrate any capacity to chat back and forth after that, it makes me wonder whether they are either lacking in basic social skills or so egocentric to think that they've made sufficient effort. If making basic conversation constitutes "hard work" from a guy's point of view then perhaps it's time for me to walk away from tinder.
ligerdub wrote: » Nightclubs are a terrible place to meet women, a lot of them are on the defensive and are there to reject men, which is fair enough, it's natural to be cautious with total strangers. Of almost all of the friends I know most of them met their other half's through friends or work.
Kal El wrote: » I dont agree theres a generation of men that cant make conversation. I really think you are just hitting the mass like market. A guy will message a girl back even if he has no interïest in them. Im sorry you have got quiet a few of them.
The Talking Bread wrote: » If someone wasn't making an effort to maintain some sort of even small conversational rapport I wouldn't humour them too long! They may be a lovely person outside the virtual world but I wouldn't have too much patience for small talk over a text! I would imagine it is guys who would generally be the more enthusiastic to strike a chat anyway. Obviously not a generalisation but most guys would prefer not to engage in "hi, hw r u 2day" style messages! Anyone will tell you that in general a fella would initiate the conversation anyway with the first message. Again, not everyone but a majority.
Cornelius Crow wrote: » Why bother? What on earth is the point?!
Cornelius Crow wrote: » I don't humour them for long and I'm not one bit interested in "hi hw r u 2day" chats either. I just want to get a feel for the person, see if we've anything in common and then perhaps meet for a drink all going well.
Kal El wrote: » No idea, but its something Ive seen a lot off. I asked lads who I seen doing them exact kinda message the short answers, why they were messaging these girls. The common answer is , "No real reason, pass the time" or "I might try sleep with her" if I cant get anyone else. These are lads who arent dicks or anything they get similar messages from women, its just what happens. I personally have never used tinder as anything other than sleep with women, ive been on zero dates on it. Ive gone on dates with girls after but it was never the first thing we did.
Kal El wrote: » Have you met anyone from tinder
Jayop wrote: » I met my wife when I had just turned 18 and haven't had to go out on the pull ever since. I would dread to be going out looking for a woman now, especially in rural Ireland where I am. The pickings at my age would be so slim that my options for getting a ride i my local town would be limited to someone married, someone who's separated (no problem there), someone who's far too young for me or possibly one of the 5/6 woman around my age that never got married. I don't think I'd have any problem in a big town or city pulling because it's a different game there. I do feel sorry for anyone single though that is looking for a long term partner at my age. It's tough going.
Kal El wrote: » No idea, but its something Ive seen a lot off. I asked lads who I seen doing them exact kinda message the short answers, why they were messaging these girls. The common answer is "No real reason, pass the time" or "I might try sleep with her" if I cant get anyone else. These are lads who arent dicks or anything they get similar messages from women, its just what happens.I personally have never used tinder as anything other than sleep with women, ive been on zero dates on it. Ive gone on dates with girls after but it was never the first thing we did.
The Talking Bread wrote: » Oh, give over! Do you mean to say you contact a woman online and ask/invite them over for sex! And they invite you over or come over without any public interaction! That is a bit sad if thats how you go about pulling! Whatever about people meeting up, going for drinks and on the probable assumption they may end up sleeping with eachother. To call over to a strangers house for the sole reason to have sex is just socially strange.
blacklilly wrote: » I totally agree but it happens more regularly than you'd think. Not my thing at all
BabyE wrote: » Yeah we live in truly ****ed up times it must be said. In many ways the current dating game mirrors that of the political and social climate, you are either an insider(i.e a semi-attractive girl and above, or a stud who all girls are attracted to) or an outsider. The clamour of people in are gyms is a testament to this free market whereby the outsiders try in vain to become part of the elusive inside club.
BabyE wrote: » No completely took the words out of my, eh, post? The good looking guys were sexually desired by girls ever since the end of primary school. These same guys are chased and pursued by girls 20 years later. People try to make it out that going to the gym will turn your problems around. Its not that easy. Girls have a hidden sense, they can detect someones genes from a mile away. BTW I absolutely do not begrudge the fact women are only going after the elite of men. It is only natural. It wouldn't be logical for them not to given the current playing field.
Surreptitious wrote: » Eh
BabyE wrote: » No completely took the words out of my, eh, post? The good looking guys were sexually desired by girls ever since the end of primary school. These same guys are chased and pursued by girls 20 years later. People try to make it out that going to the gym will turn your problems around. Its not that easy. Girls have a hidden sense, they can detect someones genes from a mile away. BTW I absolutely do not begrudge the fact women are only going after the elite of men. It is only natural.
BabyE wrote: » Yes it happens on a primal level, deep down, it's not like they are doing this actively, rather it is the results of millions of years of evolution. But c'mon tell me how it's 'all about personality', and 'confidence' and 'being interesting' while every good looking guy I know has girls on tap.
BabyE wrote: » Same man, exact ****ing same. Its ****ing disrespectful to people like yourself tbh, the old tired adage of ''just have confidence'', when you can see the world play out in front of you. We have billions of people of our species living in the most appalling conditions, anything that can happen, will happen, in life there is winners and losers, and if you measure our wins/gains in terms of girls/women, we are the losers. Our poverty is not financial, but self-fulfilment, i.e the lack of attention from girls.
Cornelius Crow wrote: » In my experience of tinder, that's a big part of the problem: most guys I match with make little or no effort to converse. Regardless of who sends the opening message, I've a pain in my face with the amount of guys on there who don't seem to grasp the basic mechanics of conversation. They don't come across as bad guys, and it's not limited to the good-looking lads who don't feel the need to try, it's endemic almost across the board! I send a guy a message containing a question, they reply with the answer and nothing more. Trying to get them to chat is like pulling teeth and those I've pointed this out to either reply with something inane like "lol", they get defensive or they stop replying/unmatch. If i stop replying, i might get another message the next day just saying "hey".. I don't get it! I'm in my 30's matching with guys no younger than 30, how do these men not understand the basics of conversation?! And how do they hope to inspire someone to want to meet them if they wont engage in even a little bit of chat? I'm sure ive passed over quite a number of very eligible guys on tinder because i found the attempts at conversation were so dull, I couldn't bring myself to suggest meeting. I don't want to get into a serial penpal thing with someone on tinder, I'm not looking for chats to pass the time all day but ffs I need to get a sense for someone if I'm going to meet them.
BabyE wrote: » Same man, exact ****ing same. Its ****ing disrespectful to people like yourself tbh, the old tired adage of ''just have confidence'', when you can see the world play out in front of you. We have billions of people of our species living in the most appalling conditions, anything that can happen, will happen, in life there is winners and losers, and if you measure our wins/gains in terms of girls/women, we are the losers. Our poverty is not financial, but we are deprived of not only one, but 3 of Maslows Hierarchy of Needs.
Deleted User wrote: » One point people don't acknowledge is that depression that typically results from sexual frustration, self hatrid etc. itself acts to make it much harder to put on the act necessary to fool women into finding you attractive, or exert the mental and physical effort required to make yourself more attractive .. being depressed saps your motivation, diminishes your capacity to look forward to stuff, enjoy sex or compliments or anything supposed to be pleasurable .. makes your mind foggy and perspectives further distorted ... people accusing you of feeling sorry for yourself or being bitter does nothing but bounce harsh words off an already numbed brain.
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