Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Know anything about prison?

Options
  • 27-09-2015 9:18pm
    #1
    sean2591
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭


    Looking like I will be going there. Only for unpaid fines for driving stuff. They add up to alot and I don't want to end up in debt so going to do the time instead. I already have the convictions so it won't change my record but I will save on the fines. Added together it's about 30 days but the guard I was talking to said I would probably only do a few days at most and that some people with fines only do a few hours. The guard was sound and gave me a few days to get things to get sorted.

    So just wondering if anybody knows what it's like inside? Do people in for fines be kept apart from the regular prisoners? If you are in Dublin do you go to Mountjoy?


«134567

Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Ulysses Gaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,570 ✭✭✭Ulysses Gaze


    They'll pee in a cup and throw it on you.


    I saw it in a movie.


  • Options
    #3
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users Posts: 11,759 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    WATCH OUT FOR BROKEN POOL CUES IN THE SHOWER.


  • Options
    #4
    The Randy Riverbeast
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭The Randy Riverbeast


    Just get an admin to view it, the mods are merely their pawns.
    Ulysses Gaze wrote: »
    They'll pee in a cup and throw it on you.


    I saw it in a movie.

    You wont be watching any prison movies where you're going.


  • Options
    #5
    Brian from Bray
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭Brian from Bray


    I know it's a cliche but don't drop the soap.


  • Options
    #6
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Lesbians everywhere.

    Saw it on the telly


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    All I remember is

    A hungry feeling
    Came o'er me stealing
    And the mice were squealing
    In my prison cell

    And that auld triangle went jingle-jangle
    All along the banks of the Royal Canal ...


  • Options
    #8
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    I believe the cells have four walls and have curfew for prisoners :P

    Watch orange is the new black and prepare for lots of horny women wanting to ride Ya!!! ....oh wait....


    Actually, seriously, if you in for fines (kinda ridiculous) you might not even be put in the mainstream prison, but the 'holding area' for a few hours or a day.


  • Options
    #9
    starling
    Registered Users Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    You need to get started with this ASAP: find a plan of the prison and get it tattooed onto yourself. Also get into rock-carving.


  • Options
    #10
    sean2591
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭sean2591


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    Actually, seriously, if you in for fines (kinda ridiculous) you might not even be put in the mainstream prison, but the 'holding area' for a few hours or a day.

    That's what I'm hoping


  • Options
    #11
    questionmark?
    Registered Users Posts: 3,074 ✭✭✭questionmark?


    You'll get a good night's sleep, three solid meals a day, free gym access.











    And anal sex.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Keep your head down,say nothing...you'll be out before ya know it
    Short sentence..maybe just spend the time reading...you've no reason to make the best of it


  • Options
    #13
    Ellie2008
    Registered Users Posts: 1,123 ✭✭✭Ellie2008


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    I believe the cells have four walls and have curfew for prisoners :P

    Watch orange is the new black and prepare for lots of horny women wanting to ride Ya!!! ....oh wait....


    Actually, seriously, if you in for fines (kinda ridiculous) you might not even be put in the mainstream prison, but the 'holding area' for a few hours or a day.

    If you're in for fines you'll be in there a whole 5 minutes OP I wouldn't worry too much about it, in fact I heard in a lot of places they process you & then release you straight after.


  • Options
    #14
    starling
    Registered Users Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    questionmark? wrote: »
    You'll get a good night's sleep, three solid meals a day, free gym access.











    And anal sex.

    If there's wifi, I'm in.


  • Options
    #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    You'll probably be out of there and home before the Gardai who bring you. Not a terrible decision. If you're really unlucky and they have space to keep you for a few days, it'll be like the worst hostel ever, but you'll be in with other fine defaulters and remand prisioners so it won't be that threatening, just rather grim. But the threat of violence etc. is low.


  • Options
    #16
    Collie D
    Registered Users Posts: 11,324 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    Ellie2008 wrote: »
    If you're in for fines you'll be in there a whole 5 minutes OP I wouldn't worry too much about it, in fact I heard in a lot of places they process you & then release you straight after.

    Been threads on this before and a few other posters in same situation and this seems to be the reality of it.

    Failing that. Find the biggest, meanest ****er in there and shiv him to show the others you're not to messed with.


  • Options
    #17
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    sean2591 wrote: »
    That's what I'm hoping

    Good luck OP, genuinely hope it goes well.

    Maybe you could sneak a phone in and text us from the inside, the mods could place you in the prison forum for authentic feeling and everything :P ;)


  • Options
    #18
    Uncle Ben
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,843 ✭✭✭Uncle Ben


    Ellie2008 wrote: »
    If you're in for fines you'll be in there a whole 5 minutes OP I wouldn't worry too much about it, in fact I heard in a lot of places they process you & then release you straight after.

    Yep, there was a case down here where the con was released from Castlerea before the gardai had got back to Salthill station in Galway.


  • Options
    #19
    nullzero
    Registered Users Posts: 16,506 ✭✭✭✭nullzero
    ****


    Smuggle some class A's in inside your rectum and you'll be as popular as can be. That and try to befriend Morgan Freeman, he has been known to get things from time to time.


  • Options
    #20
    Naos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,730 ✭✭✭Naos


    When you take a crap, make sure one leg is free from your boxers & trousers.


  • Options
    #21
    Ruu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    Are you brainy? Maybe have the guards open a library and teach lads how to get their leaving cert.

    Make sure to make a joke that will make your fellow prisoners crack up first time..or else.. :(


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    http://www.firsttimeinprison.co.uk/

    Pick the biggest guy out and kill him. The rest of the time will be easier then.


  • Options
    #23
    starling
    Registered Users Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    Naos wrote: »
    When you take a crap, make sure one leg is free from your boxers & trousers.

    I'm probably going to regret asking this, but.....why?


  • Options
    #24
    Collie D
    Registered Users Posts: 11,324 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    Naos wrote: »
    When you take a crap, make sure one leg is free from your boxers & trousers.

    Possibly being naive here but...why?


  • Options
    #25
    Deep Six
    Closed Accounts Posts: 228 ✭✭Deep Six


    Yeah you'll be grand, a few hours in holding and you'll be out. Just avoid guys with bald heads and spoons unless you want to experience the haagen daas effect.


  • Options
    #26
    Omackeral
    Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Here's an Ask Me Anything thread that will give you answers to a good few questions you have.


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057333310


  • Options
    #27
    Dubwat
    Registered Users Posts: 422 ✭✭Dubwat


    Mountjoy is the commital prison for Dublin. Everyone going to gaol in Dublin gets sent there first.

    Chances are you'll be booked in, given a cup of tea, and let out by lunchtime on licence.

    As said already, there's a few serious/proper threads already on boards.ie about it.

    tl;dr there's nothing to worry about really.


  • Options
    #28
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    Depends on your luck, you may get robbed and beaten on your first day. Do not expect to be segregated, this will not happen not sure about mountjoy but Cloverhill is three to a cell, better hope you get on. All people on the intake will be thrown in one holding cell, possibly for hours. This is where you are most at risk. Usually the first one to start on the new guy is a pussy trying to make a name for himself, this is the guy to stand up to. Of course, he may turn out to be a complete nutjob so be prepared for a kicking. Take nothing of value with you unless you are willing to fight for it. When I say fight I mean extreme violence, not fisticuffs. There are no gentlemens rules.

    You will be strip searched on intake, humiliating. Any weakness will be exploited to the full by others. You may get by easy, you may have the worst few weeks of your life.

    Personally, I would find the money by whatever means. Prison is no place for anyone other than hardened criminals. I went in a boy and came out a thug that walked like 10 men. (I did a few years) Took me a long, long time to get back to normal.


  • Options
    #29
    milltown
    Registered Users Posts: 4,613 ✭✭✭milltown


    starling wrote: »
    I'm probably going to regret asking this, but.....why?

    I'm guessing because it's easier to escape from becoming someone's bitch with trousers around one ankle, rather than binding them both together?


  • Options
    #30
    Uncle Ben
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,843 ✭✭✭Uncle Ben


    Dubwat wrote: »
    Mountjoy is the commital prison for Dublin. Everyone going to gaol in Dublin gets sent there first.

    Chances are you'll be booked in, given a cup of tea, and let out by lunchtime on licence.

    As said already, there's a few serious/proper threads already on boards.ie about it.

    tl;dr there's nothing to worry about really.

    Unbelievable thread and country where most of the comments relating to first time in prison are, don't worry, you'll be okay and you'll be out in a few hours.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #31
    Collie D
    Registered Users Posts: 11,324 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Here's an Ask Me Anything thread that will give you answers to a good few questions you have.


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057333310

    Read that at the time. Definitely one of the more interesting threads on AMA, if not Boards itself


Advertisement