Man wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN

Mr.McLovin · 26-02-2015 02:09PM #1

Married TV actor wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN after he is drugged in Russian bar by attractive blonde working for organ traffickers

Dmitry Nikolaev was approached by a young woman in a bar in Moscow

The 30-year-old enjoyed a drink and a sauna with her before he blacked out

Woke the next morning in a bus stop in acute pain and covered in blood

Rushed to hospital where he was told that his testicles had been removed

Police believe he was spiked and procedure was carried out in 'skilfully'

They fear that his testicles were removed by a gang selling organs on the black market

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2969992/Married-TV-actor-wakes-testicles-STOLEN-drugged-Russian-bar-attractive-blonde-working-organ-traffickers.html

I didn't think this was possible, can you really transplant other peoples nuts?

El Weirdo · 26-02-2015 02:11PM

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2969992/Married-TV-actor-wakes-testicles-STOLEN-drugged-Russian-bar-attractive-blonde-working-organ-traffickers.html

I didn't think this was possible, can you really transplant other peoples nuts?

Bollocks.

Tombi! · 26-02-2015 02:11PM

why would you do that?

mad muffin · 26-02-2015 02:11PM

They now hang on Putins wall of testicles.

mikom · 26-02-2015 02:11PM

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2969992/Married-TV-actor-wakes-testicles-STOLEN-drugged-Russian-bar-attractive-blonde-working-organ-traffickers.html

I didn't think this was possible, can you really transplant other peoples nuts?

"Delivery for Enda Kenny.......... Enda Kenny, your balls have arrived".

osarusan · 26-02-2015 02:12PM

Story is nuts.

StormWarrior · 26-02-2015 02:13PM

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

Zombienosh · 26-02-2015 02:14PM

Jaysus....this 50 shades of grey thing is getting out of hand

Custardpi · 26-02-2015 02:19PM

This sounds like that old story which did the rounds in various newspapers & websites years ago about the holiday maker in the States who wakes up in a bath of ice & finds that his kidneys have been removed & sold by the medical students he met the night before.

kylith · 26-02-2015 02:20PM

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

For the testosterone maybe?

26-02-2015 02:23PM

Amateurs, everyone knows bone marrow is the most valuable part of a person. It's about 4% of your body mass & sells for about $20K a gram.

mad muffin · 26-02-2015 02:25PM

Zombienosh wrote: »

Jaysus....this 50 shades of grey thing is getting out of hand

Thanks for the major spoiler! :mad:

Custardpi · 26-02-2015 02:26PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Amateurs, everyone knows bone marrow is the most valuable part of a person. It's about 4% of your body mass & sells for about $20K a gram.

Interesting. Would you happen to know where buyers might be found, if one had *ahem* acquired a supply of the product?

26-02-2015 02:29PM

Custardpi wrote: »

Interesting. Would you happen to know where buyers might be found, if one had *ahem* acquired a supply of the product?

Haha I'm sure somene must have replaced silk road by now. I just done the math. Supposedly there's $68,800,000 worth of bone marrow in my body plus all my other sell able organs.

SpaceTime · 26-02-2015 02:29PM

Doesn't make sense as "stolen" but rather as some kind of psycho mutilating a guy for some strange reason.

They're not transplanted nor are they in demand.

force eleven · 26-02-2015 02:30PM

That will make a vas deferens to his love life going forward.

CJ Haughey · 26-02-2015 02:30PM

Most likely eaten, they are a delicacy to some.

Dravokivich · 26-02-2015 02:33PM

CJ Haughey wrote: »

Most likely eaten, they are a delicacy to some.

Cannibals perhaps?

Aglomerado · 26-02-2015 02:35PM

Go-nads, Go!

mad muffin · 26-02-2015 02:40PM

I wonder if his wife ordered the seizure after being humiliated one too many times by his cheating. She's probably stroking them as I type.

And I love how the censor his face but give his full name, and he's a public figure.

Mr.McLovin · 26-02-2015 03:27PM

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

for an erection

although somebody must have stolen another guys balls...

Gummy Panda · 26-02-2015 03:28PM

kylith wrote: »

For the testosterone maybe?

It would be easier to inject test

whiskeyman · 26-02-2015 03:30PM

They've arrested the known Russian testicle kleptomaniac, Mr. Whodyarobabollickov

Surprised this wasn't posted.... and it's post 23?
Shame on you AH!!

Lingua Franca · 26-02-2015 03:35PM

It's absolutely true because you read it in the Daily Mail.

kylith · 26-02-2015 03:35PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

It would be easier to inject test

Yeah, but it was the only reason I could think of that someone might want someone else's testicles, to implant for the continuous release of testosterone. The only other reason I can think why you'd amputate someone's balls is shts and giggles.

Grayson · 26-02-2015 04:33PM

I heard a story, probably an urban legend, about a guy who became infertile and got a testicle transplant from his father. he and his wife managed to conceive.

The Backwards Man · 26-02-2015 04:37PM

Grayson wrote: »

I heard a story, probably an urban legend, about a guy who became infertile and got a testicle transplant from his father. he and his wife managed to conceive.

It's not a totally inconceivable story then?

DeadHand · 26-02-2015 04:41PM

Grayson wrote: »

I heard a story, probably an urban legend, about a guy who became infertile and got a testicle transplant from his father. he and his wife managed to conceive.

A cheaper and more direct alternative would've been to let the father ride her.

The_Valeyard · 26-02-2015 04:48PM

Theory:

Married /gf

He cheated. She found out. Hired out balls remover/assassin

Grayson · 26-02-2015 05:03PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Theory:

Married /gf

He cheated. She found out. Hired out balls remover/assassin

what was that americans name? The one who had them chopped off and became a porn start for a short time

DeadHand · 26-02-2015 05:10PM

Grayson wrote: »

what was that americans name? The one who had them chopped off and became a porn start for a short time

Ivan Bollikoff.

Man wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN

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