Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

bear1 · 14-01-2015 11:55am #1

Anyone have to suffer the most idiotic questions at work almost everyday?

Yesterday I was asked by our financial controller how to refresh a page....
Today I was asked why I didn't use certain payment terms in a document.
I politely said that if I am not given those details how am I to know and that the system inserts the default date.
This goes back and forth until I'm asked how did I not know what dates she wants?
ARE YOU FCUKING MENTAL!?!?!?!

The Moldy Gowl · 14-01-2015 11:57am

Skinny hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows l.

Decaf coffee in general

The_Valeyard · 14-01-2015 11:58am

The Boss "work harder"

Piff, who does he think he is,
Next he Will be telling me to to get off boards or something.

peckerhead · 14-01-2015 12:00pm

"How long should this 1,000-word document be?"

porsche959 · 14-01-2015 12:00pm

bear1 wrote: »

Anyone have to suffer the most idiotic questions at work almost everyday?

Yesterday I was asked by our financial controller how to refresh a page....
Today I was asked why I didn't use certain payment terms in a document.
I politely said that if I am not given those details how am I to know and that the system inserts the default date.
This goes back and forth until I'm asked how did I not know what dates she wants?
ARE YOU FCUKING MENTAL!?!?!?!

I hear you been having some problems with your TPS reports.

Saralee4 · 14-01-2015 12:01pm

Asked not to talk to people on the instant communicator via the instant communicator!

Told not to wear casual clothing by manager who was wearing jeans which were considered casual clothing by the company.

Also 'lets have a meeting' about nothing. Millions of meetings that don't really resolve anything or are about anything that take so much time away from doing any actual work. Or arranging a meeting room for a meeting that takes 5 minutes and something they could have just said to you at the desk.

Zombienosh · 14-01-2015 12:02pm

porsche959 wrote: »

I hear you been having some problems with your TPS reports.

yeahhhhhhhh, im gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday.

kjl · 14-01-2015 12:02pm

porsche959 wrote: »

I hear you been having some problems with your TPS reports.

yeah if you could just go ahead and make sure you put a cover on those TPS reports.

Photo-Sniper · 14-01-2015 12:05pm

A woman asked for her chicken breast to be cooked with no fats, no oil no nothing. She wouldn't allow it go in the oven either. Had to sous vide it without any color. Rotten

The_Valeyard · 14-01-2015 12:06pm

porsche959 wrote: »

I hear you been having some problems with your TPS reports.

LOVE that film.

The Backwards Man · 14-01-2015 12:06pm

As an employer, I get requests for fancy notions such as 'minimum wage' and 'holiday pay' all the time.

Riamfada · 14-01-2015 12:08pm

How to make the internet browser go back to google. (after the default page was changed).

The_Valeyard · 14-01-2015 12:08pm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

As an employer, I get requests for fancy notions such as 'minimum wage' and 'holiday pay' all the time.

Use the whip.

Timberrrrrrrr · 14-01-2015 12:09pm

Please sir, Can i have some more

14-01-2015 12:10pm

I worked 6 years in business sales and was told to take a training session from a guy who worked in a bar his whole life. One of his tips. "your not to talk to the person next to you" The perks of being the bosses friend!

The Backwards Man · 14-01-2015 12:12pm

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Use the whip.

Can't anymore, have to a course now to use it properly, stupid rules and regulations

porsche959 · 14-01-2015 12:13pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I worked 6 years in business sales and was told to take a training session from a guy who worked in a bar his whole life. One of his tips. "your not to talk to the person next to you" The perks of being the bosses friend!

Always Be Closing!

Frynge · 14-01-2015 12:15pm

Once had a receptionist come into the office and tell me he had two messages.

First message "a Kathleen Connors rang and said if anybody tries to book a function on the 6th of June, not to take it as they are trouble."

Second message " call these people back about booking in a funeral on the 6th of June"

I will never forget the day this happened as it was exactly two months beforehand. The member of staff just couldn't make any connection between the two messages or see any issue with booking a funeral two months in advance.

IrishAlice · 14-01-2015 12:21pm

I had a previous boss call me at my desk to come into her office and take a folder out of the press beside her.

Aongus Von Bismarck · 14-01-2015 12:28pm

One instantly springs to mind. One of our interns asked me for a meeting last May. Young lad from Ireland with a cheap suit and a sheet of paper from UCD that made him think he was the next Warren Buffet. Had the temerity to tell me our team should consider investing in the Russian rouble because 'of the crisis over there'.
3 or 4 minutes of sharp questioning from AvB ensued asking him to elucidate on his theory.

He's an intern no longer. Back in Dublin working in one of the clearing houses.

porsche959 · 14-01-2015 12:36pm

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

He's an intern no longer. Back in Dublin working in one of the clearing houses.

Equities in Dallas?

jimgoose · 14-01-2015 12:37pm

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

One instantly springs to mind. One of our interns asked me for a meeting last May. Young lad from Ireland with a cheap suit and a sheet of paper from UCD that made him think he was the next Warren Buffet. Had the temerity to tell me our team should consider investing in the Russian rouble because 'of the crisis over there'.
3 or 4 minutes of sharp questioning from AvB ensued asking him to elucidate on his theory.

He's an intern no longer. Back in Dublin working in one of the clearing houses.

So you fired his pimply ass and poured money into the Rouble, making it look like your idea? Excellent hurling, you'd have made a hell of a full-back!

NotCominBack · 14-01-2015 12:39pm

bear1 wrote: »

Anyone have to suffer the most idiotic questions at work almost everyday?

Yesterday I was asked by our financial controller how to refresh a page....
Today I was asked why I didn't use certain payment terms in a document.
I politely said that if I am not given those details how am I to know and that the system inserts the default date.
This goes back and forth until I'm asked how did I not know what dates she wants?
ARE YOU FCUKING MENTAL!?!?!?!

You do know that you can default the payment terms?

jimgoose · 14-01-2015 12:44pm

On two occasions I have been asked, "Pray, Mr. Goose, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?"

I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

xalot · 14-01-2015 12:55pm

IrishAlice wrote: »

I had a previous boss call me at my desk to come into her office and take a folder out of the press beside her.

I had an old boss do this all the time, total power trip.

When I was a teenager I worked in a small household shop and constantly had people asking me if certain items would go in their bathroom / hallway / sitting room. I DONT KNOW, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO YOUR HOUSE YOU IDIOT. Actual response was along the lines of 'I'd say so, it goes with everything'.

jmayo · 14-01-2015 12:59pm

porsche959 wrote: »

I hear you been having some problems with your TPS reports.

Did you take .... ehhh .... my stapler ?

montyrebel · 14-01-2015 1:07pm

I work in a pound shop, the amount of times in a week you get asked "how much is this" makes you want to punch a fluffy animal in the face

sunnysoutheast · 14-01-2015 1:10pm

Many years ago at a software company we recruited a skilled fella to augment our delivery project team. Throughout the interview process we stressed, over and over, that the project was at a critical stage and would entail hard work, commitment, travel to multiple client sites here and abroad. Both I and HR asked whether that posed any issues and whether he had any holidays planned for the next while, "not at all" was the response.

Sooo, he starts on the Monday. First thing on the Wednesday, he asks us for 8 weeks leave so he can take his aging grandfather on the Hajj pilgrimage. Travelling overland from Slough as the old guy won't fly.

Speechless wasn't the word.

joe stodge · 14-01-2015 1:16pm

Not so much in work.
I'm working for one of the German retailers, the last 3.5 years.
Working nights, stocking out and such. Good wage, alright contracted hours.

I've been applying for jobs recently, to test the waters.

I applied for one for a large lenster based retailer, working nights through an agency. There were no further details on the job.

Got a call back within the hour of applying, did I want an interview?
Ah sure go on.
Set it up for today at 4pm, I asked for further details, the lad said he'd email them on to me.

Received the email, the same poxy job I'm working now.

Rang the lad back saying I didn't want the interview as I already work for them. He said, come in anyway.
Not a chance I said, less per hour and a one year contract.
I'm on a permanent contract here.
He asked was I sure?
Dope.

connollys · 14-01-2015 1:23pm

sent test instructions to a guy who claimed to have a degree in Computer Science and many years software test experience.

Called me over, asked me, how to find My Computer, followed by How do I edit a file.

Xios · 14-01-2015 1:26pm

connollys wrote: »

sent test instructions to a guy who claimed to have a degree in Computer Science and many years software test experience.

Called me over, asked me, how to find My Computer, followed by How do I edit a file.

So, in which manner, was the door'eth shown to this individual?

Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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