Homeless man picks up women each night to keep him off the streets

The Purveyor of Truth · 16-09-2014 11:57AM #1

This guy has to be on a wind up..

Homeless Man Uses NYC Women for Sex and Shelter

Meet homeless Joe - the rugged roaming Romeo who lives many men's dream lifestyle despite occasionally sleeping on the cold, hard pavement.

Because it's a case of a different girl every night for the ladies' man, aged 26, who relies on pulling women to keep a roof over his head in Manhattan, New York.

Throughout the daytime, he manages to blag as many freebies as he can, pinching free shop samples of deodorant and hairgel, while spending what little money he earns from begging on keeping up his appearance.

Even though Joe has only four different outfits, he claims his arrogance and swagger charm women into inviting him into their homes for up to several nights at a time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmav517MQJc

He said: "New York City is amazing it has 8 million people so you can f*** a different girl like, whenever you want.

"Dude I'll go up to any random girl and tell them I love them, I wanna marry 'em - just for general recreational purposes.

"I was sleeping at this broad's house and last night we went drinking and were eating lobster like classy individuals."

"It will be like 7 o'clock in the morning, girls wake me up and say you're passed out on the sidewalk - you need to go home. I say I f***ing am home!

"But I wake up with money in my pocket - my responsibility is to not look homeless, I go to the shop gel my hair, grab a Red Bull and walk out."

That's it. I've just given my notice to my landlord and I'll be changing my username to The Homeless Don Juan.

You'll find me asleep across the road from Coppers.

16-09-2014 11:59AM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

You'll find me asleep across the road from Coppers.

Won't you have entirely missed the point then :P

fedor.2. · 16-09-2014 11:59AM

Haha legend

anncoates · 16-09-2014 12:00PM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

Meet homeless Joe - the rugged roaming Romeo

I can read no further, being as clogged with vomit as I am.

The Purveyor of Truth · 16-09-2014 12:02PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Won't you have entirely missed the point then :P

Only 'till midnight I mean, getting me rest for the long night of "laying of pipe"

Dr. Mantis Toboggan · 16-09-2014 12:04PM

I had to laugh at the 'waste of space' option on the poll. Really going in depth for public opinion. :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 16-09-2014 12:04PM

"How could you not do drugs and drink? The misery would overwhelm me."

Haha, he seems nice

ireland.man · 16-09-2014 12:06PM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

This guy has to be on a wind up..

That's it. I've just given my notice to my landlord and I'll be changing my username to The Homeless Don Juan.

You'll find me asleep across the road from Coppers.

With a plan like that, you won't be named The Homeless Don Juan, you'll be called Patient Zero.

Yamanoto · 16-09-2014 12:11PM

He didn't get where he is today without a little forward planning...

"I'm gonna go drink this right now, get belligerently sh1tfaced & go yell at people & fcuk girls"

FloatingVoter · 16-09-2014 02:27PM

Expect the movie along shortly. Its been made a few times already though - most notably as Midnight Cowboy (1969).

Czarcasm · 16-09-2014 02:45PM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

This guy has to be on a wind up..

It's not entirely implausible...

That's it. I've just given my notice to my landlord and I'll be changing my username to The Homeless Don Juan.

You'll find me asleep across the road from Coppers.

You missed this bit at the end

And his message for the youth of today?

"Never become like me... ever.

I can almost guarantee you that what he's doing at 26, he sure as hell won't be doing it at 36...

SMJSF · 16-09-2014 03:07PM

Ive actually heard of a guy in Dublin city do this! :-O

FloatingVoter · 16-09-2014 03:13PM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

This guy has to be on a wind up..

That's it. I've just given my notice to my landlord and I'll be changing my username to The Homeless Don Juan.

You'll find me asleep across the road from Coppers.

That spot has been taken.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/man-exposed-and-touched-himself-in-front-of-copperface-jacks-club-goers-30589950.html

Hazys · 16-09-2014 03:30PM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

This guy has to be on a wind up..

That's what i thought at first but there is one thing that stands out is his couldn't give 2 fcuks level of confidence...the most important part of pulling birds, everything else is secondary.

Fizman · 16-09-2014 03:41PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Expect the movie along shortly. Its been made a few times already though - most notably as Midnight Cowboy (1969).

Such a suitable year to be made in too!

Wibbs · 16-09-2014 03:42PM

I call utter shenanigans myself. He looks far too clean. Where does he shave and crap and wash? A dab of hair gel in a chemist ain't gonna cover up the funk off his body. As well in a couple of the shots the women would have seen the camera. No way in hell is he doing this in the winter in New York either unless he's working on a book entitled "How to pick up the ladies when you're an icicle". IMH it's some film school type project looking to get as wide an exposure as possible on the 'Tube and it's working.

Wompa1 · 16-09-2014 03:46PM

Wasn't Russel Brand homeless and f*ckin hundreds of women and one guy!?

UCDVet · 16-09-2014 03:47PM

It would make about a million times more sense to date one of those girls. Preferably one with a decent job, than the perpetually track down new girls to let him crash at their place for a night.

16-09-2014 03:50PM

"I was sleeping at this broad's house and last night we went drinking and were eating lobster like classy individuals."

Yes, that screams class alright.

He'll be a human popsicle by the end of October if this is true, which it really, really isn't.

FloatingVoter · 16-09-2014 03:54PM

Wibbs wrote: »

I call utter shenanigans myself. He looks far too clean. Where does he shave and crap and wash? A dab of hair gel in a chemist ain't gonna cover up the funk off his body. As well in a couple of the shots the women would have seen the camera. No way in hell is he doing this in the winter in New York either unless he's working on a book entitled "How to pick up the ladies when you're an icicle". IMH it's some film school type project looking to get as wide an exposure as possible on the 'Tube and it's working.

+1. Its doable for a fortnight or even a month. Washing in gyms, hotel bathrooms etc. But as a lifestyle choice - we all get sick from time to time. If he came down with a dose of the flu or a temperature, the mask slips. And its gone for good. Once he starts losing weight, smelling bad etc. it won't work.
Also no professional con artist would be publicising his lifestyle. Plenty of people have grafted their way from the streets into male escort work (which involves a flat and a phone) with the dream being a dumb mark with a Park Avenue apartment. Nobody voluntarily stays at the starting line (the street).

I Heart Internet · 16-09-2014 03:55PM

UCDVet wrote: »

It would make about a million times more sense to date one of those girls. Preferably one with a decent job, than the perpetually track down new girls to let him crash at their place for a night.

Some girls don't want to be in a serious relationship with a homeless sexaholic. They can be picky like that.

I think this guy is probably part true, part made-up for the TV. As stated above, he's unlikely to be doing this in January in New York.

UCDVet · 16-09-2014 04:25PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Some girls don't want to be in a serious relationship with a homeless sexaholic. They can be picky like that.

I think this guy is probably part true, part made-up for the TV. As stated above, he's unlikely to be doing this in January in New York.

I think the whole thing is fake, to be perfectly honest.

But the thing is, he's either so charming that women will sleep with him knowing he's a homeless sexaholic, or he lies to them. In either case, it'd be a lot easier to date one woman who will support him. Or as you say, find a relationship during the winter.

smash · 16-09-2014 04:29PM

According to the poll on the article 43% of readers think he's a waste.

mikeym · 16-09-2014 04:30PM

Legend!

Just tell the New York Ladies your fake intentions and you get a night in the sack

The Purveyor of Truth · 16-09-2014 04:59PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

That spot has been taken.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/man-exposed-and-touched-himself-in-front-of-copperface-jacks-club-goers-30589950.html

Christ, what a calamity of a case. Surprised it wasn't totally thrown out.

The Backwards Man · 16-09-2014 05:26PM

What a load of balls.

Can blag his way into a woman's heart every night but can't blag his way into a job?

Yeah.

Czarcasm · 16-09-2014 05:36PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

What a load of balls.

Can blag his way into a woman's heart every night but can't blag his way into a job?

Yeah.

If I'm honest, I thought that was the most believable part of his whole shtick! :pac:

He comes across as an awful cock, and there's definitely more to the story, but I hadn't factored in that NY has much harsher weather than we get over here, and he must be only new on the streets, because he's as naive as the women that take him into their bed.

Czarcasm · 16-09-2014 05:46PM

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

Christ, what a calamity of a case. Surprised it wasn't totally thrown out.

It was handled badly alright...

FloatingVoter · 16-09-2014 06:15PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

It was handled badly alright...

...bloody female cops perving a lad having a quiet spot of self-relief. Should be ashamed of herself.

The Diabolical Monocle · 16-09-2014 06:24PM

Homeless man picks up women each night to keep him off the streets.

Course he does, he's also been on a flying saucer, isn't using and hasn't sucked a truckers penis for food.

Czarcasm · 16-09-2014 06:25PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

...bloody female cops perving a lad having a quiet spot of self-relief. Should be ashamed of herself.

I need to get me one of these -

Homeless man picks up women each night to keep him off the streets

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