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LGB Forum Meetup - Dakota, 6th March @ 17:00

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  • 21-12-2009 6:54pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Where does one go to meet decent gay guys? Im 26 and I dont know any gay people at alll and Im determined to change that in the new year.

    And Im not talking about the sort of scum that reside on gaydar, Im looking for guys around my age to be friends with, to talk to. Are there any websites for this? What about speed dating events in Dublin? Has anyone tried that and what did you think?

    Im not into the "scene" and the clubs/pubs etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated.


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    #2
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    I think the best way is just friends-of-friends, or workmates. No online thing for non-scene people as far as I'm aware. I guess the closest would be the Queer Beers organised here on boards.ie. Another way to get to know gay people could be through some of the LGBT rights organisations. Maybe volunteer a couple hours a month, and you might meet a few.


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    #3
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    You probably know a few gay people, you just don't know they're gay. In hard to avoid in this day and age. Thinking of people who use Gaydar as scum isn't a great idea either. It's an aspect of gay sub culture.


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    #4
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    I doubt he meant that everybody on Gaydar is scum. Just that an awful lot send unsolicited cock-shots. I myself met my boyfriend on Gaydar, but, despite that, I myself think that there's a lot of toxic behaviour on the site. And for the solitary gay man, I guess it would be pretty disheartening to finally find some other gays (albeit in online-form), then have them bombard you with said photos.

    The fact is that the least "conventional" are usually the loudest, so it's easy to get a biased picture of the gay world. I think the OP just wants to know that there exist "normal" guys out there who aren't looking for sex at every opportunity.

    And yes, "scum" is a bit harsh.


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    #5
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,197 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    There are gay websites which are not (intentionally) hook up joints, queerid.com and gaire.com would be the biggest in Dublin I'd suspect. There'd be regular sort-of meetups there (groups going to events, clubs, whatever) and people are generally very happy for a newcomer to come along.


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    #6
    door
    Registered Users Posts: 203 ✭✭door


    romanticone wrote: »
    Where does one go to meet decent gay guys? Im 26 and I dont know any gay people at alll and Im determined to change that in the new year.

    And Im not talking about the sort of scum that reside on gaydar, Im looking for guys around my age to be friends with, to talk to. Are there any websites for this? What about speed dating events in Dublin? Has anyone tried that and what did you think?

    Im not into the "scene" and the clubs/pubs etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Almost everything you said there is exactly how I feel myself. I am also 26, I don't know any gay people. I've only come out recently. I'm not into pubs and clubs and I have no idea how I am every going to have a friend who is gay. Waiting to meet fellow minorities in the course of everyday life would only tend to drive one insane.


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    #7
    Dwn Wth Vwls
    Registered Users Posts: 401 ✭✭Dwn Wth Vwls


    This thread is turning into a club, I'm also 26 and don't like pubs/clubs. Eerie.


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    #8
    anotherlostie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭anotherlostie


    I would second the advice about gaire/ queerid. On these sites, you can interact with people online like here, but also they have regular get togethers and someone will always meet you and introduce you, but the social life is still of course based around the pub and club scene.

    Queerid would be particularly suitable for 20 somethings living in Dublin. I think Gaire has a slightly older demographic and wider mix of sexualities, which might appeal to some.


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    #9
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,044 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Gaire.com and Queerid.com are very sociable as is queerid sometimes too

    Outhouse on Capel Street is a nice venue to just drop in and they can give you information

    There are also lots of different groups as well (loads more - here's a sample list -)

    book group,
    Dining group
    swimming group,
    Rugby,
    Acting,
    Squash,
    Running,


    Also - the Gay Mens Health Service personal development course starts in January - perhaps you could book in for that?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #10
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,044 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Also - there was talk of a Dublin Gay Social Group - not sure if it is happening

    http://www.gaire.com/e/f/default.asp?page=view.asp&parent=1335512&nav=1&bot=

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #11
    pacman.podge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 130 ✭✭pacman.podge


    romanticone wrote: »
    Where does one go to meet decent gay guys? Im 26 and I dont know any gay people at alll and Im determined to change that in the new year.

    And Im not talking about the sort of scum that reside on gaydar, Im looking for guys around my age to be friends with, to talk to. Are there any websites for this? What about speed dating events in Dublin? Has anyone tried that and what did you think?

    Im not into the "scene" and the clubs/pubs etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    ok iv also the same problem.. but im 18.. like its so goddam hard to meet decent lads who dont always think bout sex and the likes!!

    so guys any ideas for me either ??:confused:


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    #12
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,197 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    queerid.com is mostly 18-30 or so (not entirely/exclusively tho).


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    #13
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,044 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    pacman.podge wrote: »
    ok iv also the same problem.. but im 18.. like its so goddam hard to meet decent lads who dont always think bout sex and the likes!!

    so guys any ideas for me either ??:confused:
    Belong To (www.belongto.org), Queerid.com or some of the things I listed above, Also if you are in college there might be an LGBT society.

    What sort of things interest you?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #14
    mayo21
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭mayo21


    same position here. 23 thou. have no gay friends either but probably my own doing as i'm not out.. don't really go on the scene either.. starting to think i'll be alone for a long time if I don't cop on.. be nice to have friends in same position really.. don't think my straighties have the same problems.. ha..


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    #15
    Deflector
    Registered Users Posts: 156 ✭✭Deflector


    Ha - another 26 here, in a similar boat. What is it about this bloody age!

    Still, I don't make any effort, so my own fault really. Glad I'm not on me ownio anyway :)


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    #16
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,044 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I'm beginning to think we should have a 'queer beers meeting again! it's very infrequent but basically where we meet up just for a few sociable drinks! - that way all you guys who think you know no gay people can all meet other and swap stories! As well as that it can be a new years resolution for you all! It doesn't have to be in a gay bar either!

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #17
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,197 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Johnnymcg wrote: »
    I'm beginning to think we should have a 'queer beers meeting again! it's very infrequent but basically where we meet up just for a few sociable drinks! - that way all you guys who think you know no gay people can all meet other and swap stories! As well as that it can be a new years resolution for you all! It doesn't have to be in a gay bar either!

    Might be a better idea than telling everyone to go to a different forum anyway!

    The last one had a good attendence and it was the first in a long while so there should be enough momentum for another.


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    #18
    Nebit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 310 ✭✭Nebit


    Johnnymcg wrote: »
    I'm beginning to think we should have a 'queer beers meeting again! it's very infrequent but basically where we meet up just for a few sociable drinks! - that way all you guys who think you know no gay people can all meet other and swap stories! As well as that it can be a new years resolution for you all! It doesn't have to be in a gay bar either!

    as long as its after the 18th of jan.
    uni dnt start till then:rolleyes: and really want to go this time, if one is set up.
    curious to put a few faces to the usernames


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    #19
    grizi
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭grizi


    Soccer club is there too and there's a social team so you don't even have to be good at it to enjoy it.


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    #20
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    The thing I like about Queer Beers is that we generally start off or end up in a straight bar. For a lot of gay/bi guys and girls, even going into a gay bar is too much.

    Anyway. There are gay people in every walk of life you can imagine.


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    #21
    Tricity Bendix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭Tricity Bendix


    Sure I think it was MYOB* who said to me as we were passing by the last time "I've never known a gay man who doesn't go to the dragon" but the reality is there's a heap of us who don't go on the scene. there couldn't be anything more off putting.

    *if it wasn't MYOB I apologise, I was drunk at the time.

    Either way, the only thing to do is to have another queer beers. Then none of ye will have an excuse not to know other gay people.


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    #22
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,197 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    It wasn't me! I know loads of gay people that never go to the Dragon.


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    #23
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,044 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I'll volunteer to organise it for sometime in February - will start a poll next week

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #24
    Tricity Bendix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭Tricity Bendix


    MYOB wrote: »
    It wasn't me! I know loads of gay people that never go to the Dragon.

    My apologies. I really must have been twisted. Next time I won't even bother asking Boston to look out for me, and just look out for myself. Don't know what I pay him for.


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    #25
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    MYOB wrote: »
    It wasn't me! I know loads of gay people that never go to the Dragon.

    Definitely you banging on about Dragon, but I think TB took you up wrong.


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    #26
    door
    Registered Users Posts: 203 ✭✭door


    Boston wrote: »
    For a lot of gay/bi guys and girls, even going into a gay bar is too much.

    I'm glad you said this Boston. I wasn't sure if it was just me. The idea of going into a gay bar has always terrified me. I feel maybe its just a big step I must overcome though as its probably the only way I will ever feel truly comfortable with myself and meet somebody.


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    #27
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,197 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Boston wrote: »
    Definitely you banging on about Dragon, but I think TB took you up wrong.

    Theres every chance I had a good auld rant about the Dragon, thats for sure... just not the exact one Tricity is remembering. I hope :eek:


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    #28
    Donnaghm
    Registered Users Posts: 299 ✭✭Donnaghm


    In a similar boat also and I'm 22. Well practically everyone I know knows at this stage except the parents. Where would this queer beers take place? Dublin? What about Cork?


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    #29
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,197 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Very nearly everyone on the forum is in or around Dublin, not sure theres really a Cork contingent at all?


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    #30
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    I think that historically it has always taken place in Dublin. Nothing stopping the Munster crowd pulling one together though!


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    #31
    Epicurus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Epicurus


    MYOB wrote: »
    Very nearly everyone on the forum is in or around Dublin, not sure theres really a Cork contingent at all?

    Well i'd be Cork; dont think i've ever ventured out though.

    Going back to the OP; im 25; and hardly know any gay people around where I live. I tried the Gaydar approach but found too many to be unwilling to reciprocate travelling for cinema/drink. Only so many times I could go to Cork (City).


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