LGB Forum Meetup - Dakota, 6th March @ 17:00

LegacyUser

Where does one go to meet decent gay guys? Im 26 and I dont know any gay people at alll and Im determined to change that in the new year.

And Im not talking about the sort of scum that reside on gaydar, Im looking for guys around my age to be friends with, to talk to. Are there any websites for this? What about speed dating events in Dublin? Has anyone tried that and what did you think?

Im not into the "scene" and the clubs/pubs etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Aard

I think the best way is just friends-of-friends, or workmates. No online thing for non-scene people as far as I'm aware. I guess the closest would be the Queer Beers organised here on boards.ie. Another way to get to know gay people could be through some of the LGBT rights organisations. Maybe volunteer a couple hours a month, and you might meet a few.

Boston

You probably know a few gay people, you just don't know they're gay. In hard to avoid in this day and age. Thinking of people who use Gaydar as scum isn't a great idea either. It's an aspect of gay sub culture.

Aard

I doubt he meant that everybody on Gaydar is scum. Just that an awful lot send unsolicited cock-shots. I myself met my boyfriend on Gaydar, but, despite that, I myself think that there's a lot of toxic behaviour on the site. And for the solitary gay man, I guess it would be pretty disheartening to finally find some other gays (albeit in online-form), then have them bombard you with said photos.

The fact is that the least "conventional" are usually the loudest, so it's easy to get a biased picture of the gay world. I think the OP just wants to know that there exist "normal" guys out there who aren't looking for sex at every opportunity.

And yes, "scum" is a bit harsh.

L1011

There are gay websites which are not (intentionally) hook up joints, queerid.com and gaire.com would be the biggest in Dublin I'd suspect. There'd be regular sort-of meetups there (groups going to events, clubs, whatever) and people are generally very happy for a newcomer to come along.

door

romanticone wrote: »

Where does one go to meet decent gay guys? Im 26 and I dont know any gay people at alll and Im determined to change that in the new year.

And Im not talking about the sort of scum that reside on gaydar, Im looking for guys around my age to be friends with, to talk to. Are there any websites for this? What about speed dating events in Dublin? Has anyone tried that and what did you think?

Im not into the "scene" and the clubs/pubs etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Almost everything you said there is exactly how I feel myself. I am also 26, I don't know any gay people. I've only come out recently. I'm not into pubs and clubs and I have no idea how I am every going to have a friend who is gay. Waiting to meet fellow minorities in the course of everyday life would only tend to drive one insane.

Dwn Wth Vwls

This thread is turning into a club, I'm also 26 and don't like pubs/clubs. Eerie.

anotherlostie

I would second the advice about gaire/ queerid. On these sites, you can interact with people online like here, but also they have regular get togethers and someone will always meet you and introduce you, but the social life is still of course based around the pub and club scene.

Queerid would be particularly suitable for 20 somethings living in Dublin. I think Gaire has a slightly older demographic and wider mix of sexualities, which might appeal to some.

Annasopra

Gaire.com and Queerid.com are very sociable as is queerid sometimes too

Outhouse on Capel Street is a nice venue to just drop in and they can give you information

There are also lots of different groups as well (loads more - here's a sample list -)

book group,
Dining group
swimming group,
Rugby,
Acting,
Squash,
Running,


Also - the Gay Mens Health Service personal development course starts in January - perhaps you could book in for that?

Annasopra

Also - there was talk of a Dublin Gay Social Group - not sure if it is happening

http://www.gaire.com/e/f/default.asp?page=view.asp&parent=1335512&nav=1&bot=

pacman.podge

romanticone wrote: »

Where does one go to meet decent gay guys? Im 26 and I dont know any gay people at alll and Im determined to change that in the new year.

And Im not talking about the sort of scum that reside on gaydar, Im looking for guys around my age to be friends with, to talk to. Are there any websites for this? What about speed dating events in Dublin? Has anyone tried that and what did you think?

Im not into the "scene" and the clubs/pubs etc. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

ok iv also the same problem.. but im 18.. like its so goddam hard to meet decent lads who dont always think bout sex and the likes!!

so guys any ideas for me either ??

L1011

queerid.com is mostly 18-30 or so (not entirely/exclusively tho).

Annasopra

pacman.podge wrote: »

ok iv also the same problem.. but im 18.. like its so goddam hard to meet decent lads who dont always think bout sex and the likes!!

so guys any ideas for me either ??

Belong To (www.belongto.org), Queerid.com or some of the things I listed above, Also if you are in college there might be an LGBT society.

What sort of things interest you?

mayo21

same position here. 23 thou. have no gay friends either but probably my own doing as i'm not out.. don't really go on the scene either.. starting to think i'll be alone for a long time if I don't cop on.. be nice to have friends in same position really.. don't think my straighties have the same problems.. ha..

Deflector

Ha - another 26 here, in a similar boat. What is it about this bloody age!

Still, I don't make any effort, so my own fault really. Glad I'm not on me ownio anyway

Annasopra

I'm beginning to think we should have a 'queer beers meeting again! it's very infrequent but basically where we meet up just for a few sociable drinks! - that way all you guys who think you know no gay people can all meet other and swap stories! As well as that it can be a new years resolution for you all! It doesn't have to be in a gay bar either!

L1011

Johnnymcg wrote: »

I'm beginning to think we should have a 'queer beers meeting again! it's very infrequent but basically where we meet up just for a few sociable drinks! - that way all you guys who think you know no gay people can all meet other and swap stories! As well as that it can be a new years resolution for you all! It doesn't have to be in a gay bar either!

Might be a better idea than telling everyone to go to a different forum anyway!

The last one had a good attendence and it was the first in a long while so there should be enough momentum for another.

Nebit

Johnnymcg wrote: »

I'm beginning to think we should have a 'queer beers meeting again! it's very infrequent but basically where we meet up just for a few sociable drinks! - that way all you guys who think you know no gay people can all meet other and swap stories! As well as that it can be a new years resolution for you all! It doesn't have to be in a gay bar either!

as long as its after the 18th of jan.
uni dnt start till then:rolleyes: and really want to go this time, if one is set up.
curious to put a few faces to the usernames

grizi

Soccer club is there too and there's a social team so you don't even have to be good at it to enjoy it.

Boston

The thing I like about Queer Beers is that we generally start off or end up in a straight bar. For a lot of gay/bi guys and girls, even going into a gay bar is too much.

Anyway. There are gay people in every walk of life you can imagine.

Tricity Bendix

Sure I think it was MYOB* who said to me as we were passing by the last time "I've never known a gay man who doesn't go to the dragon" but the reality is there's a heap of us who don't go on the scene. there couldn't be anything more off putting.

*if it wasn't MYOB I apologise, I was drunk at the time.

Either way, the only thing to do is to have another queer beers. Then none of ye will have an excuse not to know other gay people.

L1011

It wasn't me! I know loads of gay people that never go to the Dragon.

Annasopra

I'll volunteer to organise it for sometime in February - will start a poll next week

Tricity Bendix

MYOB wrote: »

It wasn't me! I know loads of gay people that never go to the Dragon.

My apologies. I really must have been twisted. Next time I won't even bother asking Boston to look out for me, and just look out for myself. Don't know what I pay him for.

Boston

MYOB wrote: »

It wasn't me! I know loads of gay people that never go to the Dragon.

Definitely you banging on about Dragon, but I think TB took you up wrong.

door

Boston wrote: »

For a lot of gay/bi guys and girls, even going into a gay bar is too much.

I'm glad you said this Boston. I wasn't sure if it was just me. The idea of going into a gay bar has always terrified me. I feel maybe its just a big step I must overcome though as its probably the only way I will ever feel truly comfortable with myself and meet somebody.

L1011

Boston wrote: »

Definitely you banging on about Dragon, but I think TB took you up wrong.

Theres every chance I had a good auld rant about the Dragon, thats for sure... just not the exact one Tricity is remembering. I hope :eek:

Donnaghm

In a similar boat also and I'm 22. Well practically everyone I know knows at this stage except the parents. Where would this queer beers take place? Dublin? What about Cork?

L1011

Very nearly everyone on the forum is in or around Dublin, not sure theres really a Cork contingent at all?

Aard

I think that historically it has always taken place in Dublin. Nothing stopping the Munster crowd pulling one together though!

Epicurus

MYOB wrote: »

Very nearly everyone on the forum is in or around Dublin, not sure theres really a Cork contingent at all?

Well i'd be Cork; dont think i've ever ventured out though.

Going back to the OP; im 25; and hardly know any gay people around where I live. I tried the Gaydar approach but found too many to be unwilling to reciprocate travelling for cinema/drink. Only so many times I could go to Cork (City).

Boston

Well I almost went to a gaycork.com meet up a few years back, but got put off by random sexaholics fighting over which one of them was going to put me up for the night.

YokoFactor

I'd love to be there for the Dublin one. I'm 21 and I hardly know any LGBT people, and the ones I do know don't want quiet, decent friendships, they want notches on their bedposts or whatever. It's really offputting.

EugeneOnegin

Epicurus wrote: »

Well i'd be Cork; dont think i've ever ventured out though.

Going back to the OP; im 25; and hardly know any gay people around where I live. I tried the Gaydar approach but found too many to be unwilling to reciprocate travelling for cinema/drink. Only so many times I could go to Cork (City).

Why not join UCC or CIT LGBTs?

Donnaghm

I'm quite surprised by the sheer quantity of lads from a cosmopolitan city like Dublin who still feel the need to repress their sexualities judging by this thread. How in God's name are boggers like me from south Kerry expected to cope?

Epicurus

EugeneOnegin wrote: »

Why not join UCC or CIT LGBTs?

It'd be an option; however not a practical one for me. I'd be far enough away from the city within the county for it not to be feasible to join these. I know there are a few within the locality but as the thread states; decent I have yet to find.

Annasopra

Donnaghm wrote: »

I'm quite surprised by the sheer quantity of lads from a cosmopolitan city like Dublin who still feel the need to repress their sexualities judging by this thread. How in God's name are boggers like me from south Kerry expected to cope?

There is some sort of LGBT group in Kerry that I know of

Annasopra

Epicurus wrote: »

It'd be an option; however not a practical one for me. I'd be far enough away from the city within the county for it not to be feasible to join these. I know there are a few within the locality but as the thread states; decent I have yet to find.

Where in Cork? Maybe you could try and set something up yourself?

Donnaghm

Johnnymcg wrote: »

There is some sort of LGBT group in Kerry that I know of

Yep, I think it's in Tralee though, far away from me. Thankfully I'm studying in UCC because I'd probably go insane if I was consigned to the "Kingdom" all the time.

opus

Epicurus wrote: »

Well i'd be Cork; dont think i've ever ventured out though.

Going back to the OP; im 25; and hardly know any gay people around where I live. I tried the Gaydar approach but found too many to be unwilling to reciprocate travelling for cinema/drink. Only so many times I could go to Cork (City).

I've gone to a few of the gaycork.com meetups & they were grand although mostly in the city admittedly.

door

YokoFactor wrote: »

I'd love to be there for the Dublin one. I'm 21 and I hardly know any LGBT people, and the ones I do know don't want quiet, decent friendships, they want notches on their bedposts or whatever. It's really offputting.

Hey I find the same thing. I don't know any gay people at all but having reluctantly tried dating sites (which Im still kind of uncomfortable about) I only end up hearing from people wanting to get down to sex. So I've never met anybody. I'm not into bars and clubs but also feel, just like the straight world, these are just one night stand sources. I really have no idea how I can meet any gay people at all. To be perfectly honest I just want a friend. Having somebody just to talk to, to share the difficulty of being gay but also to make progress with it as well, whether it is going to gay bars or gay events. Like I'd love to just go to the gay theatre festival or GAZE with somebody whose interested too. I really just don't know where to start.

Aard

Why not start up some sort of "Boards LGBT Outings" (harhar) around Dublin? Seems to be a lot of guys would just like to meet up for a chat. If that is indeed what is sought, then I'd think going to bar for some drinks isn't the best way of getting to know people. (If yous are anything like me that is - I'm always more wound-up leaving a bar than on entering :rolleyes: ) Like was mentioned, cultural events would probably be the way to go. Wouldn't have to be specifically gay-related, but I doubt it's hard to find a gay-themed night once a month.

Annasopra

seems a lot of people want to do things outside of pubs; could do stuff like walks,cinema, viking boat, - can be anything really

dochreidte

I'm from Cork as well, so if there is something being organised here, I'd be up for it! I'm 23, not into the gay clubs (or nightclubs in general, to be honest) and don't have any gay friends in Cork so would definitely be up for meeting some people!

ixoy

Meeting somewhere outside the pubs could definitely be an interesting alternative. It wouldn't need to be gay themed (beyond the bunch of gay men there) if it'd put some people at more ease.

door

I like the suggestion of doing something different than pubs. It could be difficult deciding on something that there would be a big mutual interest though, as pubs tend to be the main centre of activity and which are commonly accepted. Unless there are any big events coming up at all. Films and theatre do tend to be the next big mutual interest after pubs.

By the way, when groups from boards.ie or queerid meet up, how do they actually find the group if they dont know anybody? Just curious to ease the tension of maybe eventually deciding to go to one of these.

L1011

Last boards meet someone had the logo on the table
QID is usually a lot more informal, you'd pick someone you trusted off there and get their phone number, find them seperately and be introduced to the pack. At some things there'd be one table (like the Make & Do in Pantibar)

swirlser

lol, well add me as yet another 20 something who doesnt go on the scene!

And also, even tho its been a number of years since I used gaydar, I remember only too well what a needle in a haystack it was trying to look for someone to just talk to. The only thing worse than a guy who "thinks" with his dick is a guy who also uses his dick to introduce himself ><! ugh...

opus

dochreidte wrote: »

I'm from Cork as well, so if there is something being organised here, I'd be up for it! I'm 23, not into the gay clubs (or nightclubs in general, to be honest) and don't have any gay friends in Cork so would definitely be up for meeting some people!

The last two gaycork.com events I went to were a trip to the cinema to see '2012' & a meal in Luigi Malone's so it's not all pubs/clubs. Sorry if I'm starting to sound like a cheerleader for the site

witty_name

If you're in Dublin you could always check out 'Outhouse' events online and see if there's anything that interests you!

Epicurus

opus wrote: »

The last two gaycork.com events I went to were a trip to the cinema to see '2012' & a meal in Luigi Malone's so it's not all pubs/clubs. Sorry if I'm starting to sound like a cheerleader for the site

No good site goes without a cheerleader

Must check this out.