Too much exam pressure...

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 01:20PM #1

Lots of my friends got their results today.....
My grandparents turned around and said they expect me to get 8 A1's.
I tried to explain how hard this is, especially because im doing a portfolio and my school is dire. Teachers always out etc.
They hold it against me because I didn't study during july cause I was going to gigs etc. I studied in June and this month aswell as working on portfolio.
They said that next year I'm not allowed see my bf or friends.I'm sick of them trying to control me..... they verbally abuse me, constantly make me feel like im not good enough,I'm doing all honours subjects and get a-b grades, I dont understand what they expect of me im not a superhero.

Karen_* · 13-08-2008 01:27PM

Well its very realistic of them to expect you to get all A1's. Are they definately not joking?

Leave loads of exam stress literature around for them to read. There is loads of it in the newspapers around this time. Of course you cant live up to their expectations of straight A1's. And from what you say your marks are brilliant anyway. Figure out the points you need for what you want to do and inform them that thats your target and it isn't A1's.

My son did awful in his summer tests and when he was sitting around bored and moaning I did sarcastically mention that he might pick up a book but its not that I seriously expected him to study the summer away.

Overheal · 13-08-2008 02:12PM

Happy Homes Beget Happy Minds.

I'd get to the bottom of the verbal abuse. I imagine its hard to focus on anything with that going on. I had a lot of that in my Leaving Cert year so when that didn't work and I repeated I got a very wide lattitude at home and my grades ended up going up by a lot.

hayley_2008 · 13-08-2008 02:20PM

HouseHippo wrote: »

they expect me to get 8 A1's.
I tried to explain how hard this is, especially because im doing a portfolio and my school is dire. Teachers always out etc.

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

chuckles30 · 13-08-2008 02:29PM

hayley - given what the op said about the school being dire and teachers being out, it looks like the op is already putting in a lot of hard work to achieve a/b grades. How many students do you know who study in June and August - not too many that I know.

OP - It sounds like you're putting in a lot of effort, but you need to be able to relax as well. Is there anyone else in your family that you could ask to have a word with your grandparents about easing up on the pressure? If they're like this during the summer holidays, I dread to think what they'll be like come the school term. I can understand them wanting you to do your best, but there's a right way and a wrong way to encourage people and right now, they're going the wrong way about it.

Karen_* · 13-08-2008 02:35PM

The OP is a young girl and will grown up in her own good time and is already putting alot of work into her grades as reflected in the A's and B's that she's getting. Parents and grandparents can put far too much pressure and emphasis on the results. And its not needed when the exams themselves are extremely stressful.

barbiegirl · 13-08-2008 02:36PM

Have to dis-agree with Hayley 2008 hugely!!!!!! This kid is studying ALL honours subjects, getting A's and B's, has studied in June and this month. Doing more than enough. She needs space and a life. You must see your friends and bf throughout the year. This can be limited, I had a nine pm curfew extended to 10pm at the weekend, and I was only allowed out on Wednesday evening during the week. It worked I got a good leaving cert, and more importantly I developed as a person, so that when I turned 18, (which was a while ago now) I knoew how to be an adult and to interact with people, signs being that I now earn a 6 figure salary.
Your grandparents have to realise that next year you will be an adult in the adult world, sit down and explain that you wish to talk to them as adults, agree a compromise, show them as someone else suggested the courses you wish to apply for, the point requirements etc. If it is necessary bring another trusted adult into the discussion. If you are livung with your gp I assume they are your guardians and you do not want to isolate them. You need to work on repairing the relationship and moving forward. How you are in their care is probably affecting how they are acting towards you too.
If none of thsi is possible, then develop your own mantra that you can only do your best, and ignore everything else they say, and just respond wih this everytime they say something to you. Develop your own little bubble and live in it for the next year cause then you will be out from under this and moving forward with your life. You must protect yourself and your confidence, try to understand where they are coming from but make your own decisions and stick to them.
Good luck and stay on boards when things get tough people will help you.
My kid brother got 380 today, 40 over his target for Arts UCD and he is delighted as are we all. But if he'd only got 180 we'd be happy cause he did his best.

Overheal · 13-08-2008 02:42PM

I agree with Chuckles (what a great name) maybe a school counsellor? your parish priest? Family Friend?

hayley_2008 · 13-08-2008 02:43PM

chuckles30 wrote: »

hayley - given what the op said about the school being dire and teachers being out, it looks like the op is already putting in a lot of hard work to achieve a/b grades. How many students do you know who study in June and August - not too many that I know.

Actually i knew quite a few, they are now in college studying towards Law & Medicine degrees. By not revising your work in June & August you are losing out to other students who ARE revising.

Revising is one of the most important skills in effective studying. Let two months slip by without revising essential material & you are seriously jepordising your chances. :eek:

LeixlipRed · 13-08-2008 02:46PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

That is a ridiculous post. The exam pressure on kids doing the LC is enough without you, a complete stranger, adding to it. A child should never be studying during the summer holidays firstly. Secondly, you need to sit down with your parents and explain to them the pressure they're putting on you. Perhaps they don't realise they are doing so. And it's entirely possible for anyone with half a brain to go to college and get a good degree. So final word of advice, relax, the LC is certainly not something you should ruin your life over.

LeixlipRed · 13-08-2008 02:48PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Revising is one of the most important skills in effective studying. Let two months slip by without revising essential material & you are seriously jepordising your chances.

What, just look moving your hand is one of the most important skills in writing?? :rolleyes: If you've no positive advice to give to the OP bar stating the obvious and heaping piles of pressure on the poor child than perhaps you should stay quiet.

Overheal · 13-08-2008 02:52PM

I try and tell this to the kids in the LC forum during crunch times: they gotta learn how to unwind for a little bit each day. Study sure but you cant be boxed up and strapped to a book for 3 months. Its been scientifically proven that your brain will melt and leak out of your nose.

LeixlipRed · 13-08-2008 02:54PM

Overheal wrote: »

Its been scientifically proven that your brain will melt and leak out of your nose.

Tis fatal I tell ya

hayley_2008 · 13-08-2008 02:55PM

LeixlipRed wrote: »

So final word of advice, relax, the LC is certainly not something you should ruin your life over.

I dont appreciate my post being labelled as ridiculous, please show some manners.

I believe you are dramatising this post, "ruin her life over", she knows her life wont be ruined, its natural for LC kids to feel pressure, it has been shown that stress & being a bit nervous before LC or big exams actually helps you! Go ahead & google it up! im not a liar!

meglome · 13-08-2008 02:55PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Actually i knew quite a few, they are now in college studying towards Law & Medicine degrees. By not revising your work in June & August you are losing out to other students who ARE revising.

Revising is one of the most important skills in effective studying. Let two months slip by without revising essential material & you are seriously jepordising your chances. :eek:

I didn't know anyone who did this. Half the friends I had at the time have their own businesses so it obviously didn't effect them at all. Most of the other half are very good/successful at what they do.

Yes you need plenty of points to be a doctor or lawyer but this assumes it's what the OP actually wants and not what her family wants. At the end of the day you've got to be true to yourself and do what's right for you. If that goes against what your family expect of you then so be it.

Karen_* · 13-08-2008 03:01PM

Hayley while "grow up" is not a very constructive or indeed mature response I do appreciate that you are trying to advise the OP that her grandparents have her best interests in mind and also the benefit of having a 'headstart' over others by revising as much as she can.

Her grades are really good though and I think the point the OP is trying to make is that she's feeling very pressurised and like she can never be good enough. How should she convey this respectfully to her grandparents? Because she is a person who's obviously worked very hard but she needs to be cut some slack. they do seem to be issuing threats and she's feeling picked on.

Jack Sheehan · 13-08-2008 03:04PM

What do you want to do in college/ third level? Is it very high points? Even so you can't study during the summer surely? If you have put in the work last year you wont have any trouble as long as you keep that up, I should know, I didn't do the work last year.

In any case your grandparents putting you down all the time is not going to help you one bit. As for the idea that you wouldn't be able to see your friends/boyfriend, that is patently ridiculous. Everyone needs time to unwind and believe it or not, the LC isn't the most important thing in the universe. What if you get 600 points but are miserable? what good does it do you then?

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 03:07PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

I go to school in Walkinstown, a disadvantaged school with no money.My art teacher was out all year. We had 4 different biology teachers in one year. They dont offer technonolgy, classical studies physics or Spanish cause they have no teachers.
I study for 3 hours every day during the school year, I never go out.I went 18 and haven't been to the pub once. I also work to help my grandparents out with money cause they have to look after me. Im an A-b STUDENT doing all higher exc Irish.....

Thats not what id call a bad attitude

Overheal · 13-08-2008 03:10PM

Sounds like youre just high strung. you need to de-stressify a bit before your exams. Plan a day off to go do something. Head into dublin, go spend the day in bed with your boyfriend: anything non-academic if only for a day just to remind you one day there will be more to life than school

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 03:12PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I dont appreciate my post being labelled as ridiculous, please show some manners.

I believe you are dramatising this post, "ruin her life over", she knows her life wont be ruined, its natural for LC kids to feel pressure, it has been shown that stress & being a bit nervous before LC or big exams actually helps you! Go ahead & google it up! im not a liar!

I suffer from an anxiety disorder and also have ADD which makes studying extremely difficult.
I spent a month out of school with stress, I had baically a nervous breakdown as my art teacher left at the start of the year, I want to go to art college to be an art teacher.
HAlfway through the year when I had most of my portfolio done, i found out that my school neglected to inform me that NCAD had released a new Potfolio Brief meaning all my hard work was wasted. I also had my mothers death to deal with in September of the school year

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 03:14PM

Also if you would bother to read this thread properly I studied DURING june and August. I took July off but continued to work on my portfolio

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 03:16PM

The points are 345 for NCAD with a portfolio
Or 545 for the couse in Trinity.
I also did a part time Dj course in pulse but I paid for that

hayley_2008 · 13-08-2008 03:16PM

HouseHippo wrote: »

Also if you would bother to read this thread properly I studied DURING june and August. I took July off but continued to work on my portfolio

Your attitude really does you no credit, i can feel the heat from here.... ouch

dan_d · 13-08-2008 03:17PM

There's a very important point that you have to remember.The leaving cert is DESIGNED to be sat and passed in 2 ACADEMIC years.And 3 for those who do TY.It DOES NOT include revision during the summer.Because it is NOT necessary.Go out and enjoy your life. For heaven's sake you are doing yourself no favours whatsoever by revising in the summer, to please your grandparents.I did all honours everything, and furthermore I was not working on a portfolio for any subject at the same time,which I know is time consuming.If you were having problems,maybe I could understand this, but you are obviously extremely bright.At the end of it, all that matters is that you get what you want in college.Nobody is going to ask you in ten or even 5 years time, how many A1's you got in your LC.Truth be told, nobody is going to even ask you how many points you got. If you want to do medicine or something, and you feel it might be beneficial to do a bit of revision now, then go for it, but to be honest, you'll have plenty of time for that next year.This is your last summer before you go into college and have to start worrying about whether or not you passed enough exams to get into your next year,and consider the possibility of repeating!!please enjoy it.

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 03:17PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

I dont need to grow up I'm 18 years old, and by sounds of your post alot more mature than you

HouseHippo · 13-08-2008 03:19PM

well if you are going to insult me and not even bother to read the thread properly then what to you expect.What are you even here for. I am looking for my pressure to be relieved not made worse by arrogance.

I bid you good day.

Jack Sheehan · 13-08-2008 03:19PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Your attitude really does you no credit, i can feel the heat from here.... ouch

With respect, if you're not going to give constructive criticism, get off this thread.

Beruthiel · 13-08-2008 03:22PM

hayley_2008
Read this forums charter with regards to useful, helpful comments.
I think you have said quite enough in this thread.
B

LeixlipRed · 13-08-2008 03:24PM

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Your attitude really does you no credit, i can feel the heat from here.... ouch

Total WUM

spurious · 13-08-2008 03:25PM

HouseHippo wrote: »

Lots of my friends got their results today.....
My grandparents turned around and said they expect me to get 8 A1's.

They have no right to put that sort of pressure on you, no matter how academic you may or may not be.

You know this.

It's hurtful that they can be so ignorant of how things work, but you know you are doing your best and that is all you can do.

LeixlipRed · 13-08-2008 03:28PM

There must be less than a couple of hundred people who have ever gotten 8 A1s. That's like expecting your child to become an astronaut or taoiseach or something. Ridiculous.

Too much exam pressure...

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