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Ridiculous Workplace Rules, Policies, Requests, PC, Initiatives, etc.

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    The wimmins in the office, I don't understand them

    Office is melting hot, the lads almost passing out from the heat. Ok, exaggeration but it's hot, hot, hot

    And the wimmins just complaining about the cold. Why?? Sitting there with their jumpers and shivering and wrecking the facilities mans head with complaints and requests and whining

    Woe betide you if you open a window, you'll be told it's too cold

    If they are hot they can take off their jumper

    What do they expect the lads to do? Strip off their shirts? Can't obviously so I'll sweat here

    Checked the office temperature, 27 degrees, ridiculous!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    Yeah Nodin, can't believe you thought that made you look "cool" ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,165 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    eth0 wrote: »
    What exactly does a TPS report contain?

    Here it's productivity reports..no very exciting


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    My friend worked in a mad place a while back. An insurance office of sorts. Family run firm, the boss' wife was a loon who came round headwrecking them with the following policies:
    • Everyone (EVERYONE) must use the hand sanitiser at all times when passing the front desk
    • Everyone had their own locker and wasn't allowed keep any personal items (i.e. their phone/handbag) at their desk (this is a totally normal office not a factory etc)
    • There was to be absolute separation of food items in the fridge to such an extent that she had labelled the drawers with stuff like 'dairy', 'bread products'.
    • Tuna was on the list of 'banned lunch foods' because it was too smelly

    And so on. About 40 people working there putting up with this crap. With the poor receptionist on the front desk being asked to supply a daily list of people who didn't comply with the hand sanitiser rule.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Yeah Nodin, can't believe you thought that made you look "cool" ;)

    I could be less than pleasant when annoyed. Though in my defence, the vast vast majority of complaints made about me over the years were by management, not by fellow staff.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    My wife just had to take a 3 day introductory workshop on a subject she has been teaching and professionally consulting on for the last 15 years. Policy.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    The wimmins in the office, I don't understand them

    Office is melting hot, the lads almost passing out from the heat. Ok, exaggeration but it's hot, hot, hot

    And the wimmins just complaining about the cold. Why?? Sitting there with their jumpers and shivering and wrecking the facilities mans head with complaints and requests and whining

    Woe betide you if you open a window, you'll be told it's too cold

    If there are hot they can take off their jumper

    What do they expect the lads to do? Strip off their shirts? Can't obviously so I'll sweat here

    Checked the office temperature, 27 degrees, ridiculous!

    That would kill me, I sit beside a window I would have open in December if I could get away with it. You should instate a rule that they all have to do 20 jumping jacks at their desks every 5 minutes, that'll sort them out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,015 ✭✭✭Ludo


    We got an email instructing everyone to sit down when using the toilet at all times. they even went so far as to put little diagrams up in the cubicles showing a person taaking a leak standing up with a big red X over it :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Boss is an environmental fanatic

    Always droning on about carbon footprint and paperless office and recycling

    Except he has a parking space, these are rare so he's one of the few who drives to work

    I cycle farther then he drives to work

    Hardly anyone has a space, the rest of us luas, Dart, bus, walk, whatever

    Yet he lectures the rest of us on environmental stuff :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    Nodin wrote: »
    I could be less than pleasant when annoyed. Though in my defence, the vast vast majority of complaints made about me over the years were by management, not by fellow staff.


    Why that? Spending too much time on boards? :p


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,836 ✭✭✭Colmustard


    My employer insists I work. he knows i don't like that.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,991 ✭✭✭mathepac


    Millicent wrote: »
    .... Same rules as that for Nurofen cos of the codeine in it.
    NO NO NO NO NO! For 900,000th time the same rules apply to Solpadeine and Neurofen Plus, which contains different ingredients to Neurofen.

    There was a thread that ran for millenia and had innumerable posts that still had misleading post like yours towards the end.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,479 ✭✭✭Notorious97


    Ive a lot of the ones mentioned already, stupid rules thought up by stupid people. Majority of our managers are idiots, their buddy is the top dog and she keeps her mates around her, I dont mind female management at all, one of the best in there is a woman, but the other female managers are driving the whole floor in our office mad.

    They have even went as far as putting up signs which include directions on how to wash our hands after using the bathroom, and for how long. They recommend we sing in our heads the happy birthday song, idiots. If you dont know how to wash your hands by our age God help you.

    The hot days no cold air on rule kills me in there, its like a sweat shop.


  • Registered Users Posts: 895 ✭✭✭Mocha Joe


    Ludo wrote: »
    We got an email instructing everyone to sit down when using the toilet at all times. they even went so far as to put little diagrams up in the cubicles showing a person taaking a leak standing up with a big red X over it :confused:

    Toilet in our place has this sign up.

    If you clean the toilet seat after yourself, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Why that? Spending too much time on boards? :p

    Refusal to take it lying down usually, combined with no regard for rank and a burning contempt for lickarses, bullies and incompetence. Wrong company to work for with my attitude really, but when I got the job there was few going, so it was a question of hang on to what you had.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 235 ✭✭LoYL


    babymanval wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Workplace policies/procedures/rules/directives from management etc. can often be ridiculous, counter-productively nonsensical at times. However I heard the most ridiculous one today. A friend of mine texted me at lunch to tell me about a farcical 30 minute meeting that she had to sit through:

    She got an email requesting her to attend a meeting with her line manager this morning. It transpired that the purpose of this was to discuss any support that she may need for "any addictions that [she] might be suffering with"... The catalyst for this? Her manager had observed her taking three, rather than the recommended two tablets (for her Katie Taylor homecoming-inspired hangover). Furthermore, the manager observed that she had 2 packets of Solpadeine on her desk, "in full view". She came away from the meeting with some literature on addiction agencies, and a heartfelt reassurance that the management have a staunch policy of standing behind employees where they need support.

    It got me to thinking; I've heard of some management requests/policies that would make you want to rip your hair out. They always put me in mind of the film "Office Space" (TPS reports etc). My experiences have been:

    - A request that I wear black slacks, instead of the very (very, very, very) dark blue/navy ones I was wearing, in a telesales job, with zero contact with anyone, ever.
    - The (quickly boycotted) organisation of separate male and female Xmas "parties", so "as not to encourage workplace romance/indiscretions leading to awkwardness/disruption in the team".

    Anyone else?
    Superb by management. They note employee with hangover who gives them the opening with the solpadeine. 30 minutes showing how proactive they are in their caring approach but the real message is: unless you want more of the TLC smarten up! Ya gotta love it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    mathepac wrote: »
    NO NO NO NO NO! For 900,000th time the same rules apply to Solpadeine and Neurofen Plus, which contains different ingredients to Neurofen.

    There was a thread that ran for millenia and had innumerable posts that still had misleading post like yours towards the end.

    Alright, calm down. Someone not have their Nurofen Plus? :pac:

    I shall edit it now.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    ...there are jobs that should have free opiates as part of the pay....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Yeah Nodin, can't believe you thought that made you look "cool" ;)

    What post are you replying to? :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    What post are you replying to? :confused:

    I binned it, as it breached my anti-anecdote policy. Suffice to say that it involved a less than tolerant response to a request to change the a/c to a swamp like temperature.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Tell us :D

    And this whole thread is anecdotes realy


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    Tell us.

    Not about the bizarre anti-anecdote policy, about the A/C :)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,568 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Millicent wrote: »
    Solpadeine is ridiculously hard to get now. Same rules as that for Nurofen Plus cos of the codeine in it.

    Aye, had to get some for the wife a few days ago.
    Was given the third degree like I was trying to buy heroine! :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    You are in Louth, head up North


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 619 ✭✭✭Pilotdude5


    I fly more carefully after a few brewskies anyway.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,703 ✭✭✭donegal_man


    Have had many jobs with ridiculous rules but the best (worst) insisted that all office space be kept at 23 degrees as it was 'the optimal temperature for productivity and wellness', we weren't allowed to use the word 'manager' instead we had 'team leaders, section co-ordinators, strategic leadership, etc.' and all personal food and drink had to be signed in at the reception desk on arrival


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    Nodin wrote: »
    I binned it, as it breached my anti-anecdote policy. Suffice to say that it involved a less than tolerant response to a request to change the a/c to a swamp like temperature.

    Why an anti-anecdote policy?:confused:


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 18,140 Mod ✭✭✭✭CatFromHue


    Have had many jobs with ridiculous rules but the best (worst) insisted that all office space be kept at 23 degrees as it was 'the optimal temperature for productivity and wellness', we weren't allowed to use the word 'manager' instead we had 'team leaders, section co-ordinators, strategic leadership, etc.' and all personal food and drink had to be signed in at the reception desk on arrival

    Really? isn't 23 degrees fairly warm!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Why an anti-anecdote policy?:confused:


    .....because they're unprovable and - because I come down like a ton of bricks on people who use them in discussion of 'srs bznss' - theres a tendency for retaliation when I use them in less serious matters. Plus I try to keep IRL matters and personal info to meself.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,748 ✭✭✭podgeandrodge


    Biggins wrote: »
    Aye, had to get some for the wife a few days ago.
    Was given the third degree like I was trying to buy heroine! :eek:

    Enjoy it the next time. When they inevitably scowl and ask what it's for say "it's for headaches" - they'll ask you have you tried other products without codeine - say "oh yes, but you can't beat solpadeine." Do a wink that's really only a facial twitch. Push them enough to annoy them but not enough for them to have a justifiable reason to refuse you the product.

    And when they ask if you want 12 or 24 always say "Oh, always the 24 pack!" That get's the final scowl!

    Then send your wife in 3 minutes later while you wait in view at the front door like your life is depending on it. ;)

    jujibee wrote: »
    One of my first jobs we were only allowed to go to the toilets at 10:15 or 3:15 and we weren't allowed to talk to each other except during lunch which was from 12 - 12:45.

    At the end of the day we had to turn off our computers at 4:50 and count the orders we had entered and give the manager a hand written note with our count. We then had to sit silently at our desks until 5.

    I quit after 3 weeks.

    Tell me where. I don't want to give them any business.


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