Bullying, has it affected you now as an adult?

mikemac · 21-07-2011 12:34am #1

The Ladies Lounge had a similar thread a few weeks back, this might be a good thread I hope

Were you bullied when you were younger and has it affected you now years later as an adult?

Well to start with, I had a great time in my rural primary school. Just a village school, everyone knew everyone.
But got a right rough time in the secondary school, over 600 people there. A big change to me and I was a bit lost there

Looking back I'm not surprised I was picked out as a target and a bully looks for a victim. Glasses, unconfident, slim and weak, yeah I was a target.
Took it for a long time until one day I snapped and lashed out and wow, never a bother since and my confidence soared. And then I became known as good at hurling and played on the schools teams so that helped a lot.

Met some of the lads later in college and would go for a pint but some others, yeah I still have not forgotten and I'm still bitter.
Not something I've let go but probably need to.

A teacher once told us the most traumatic thing for a child was not losing their parents, it was bullying and I believe it!

Anyway, some say it makes you stronger and some say it can have a hold of you and make you withdrawn later on.

Just to quote the OP from that other thread pretty much sums it up for me

Kimia wrote: »

I know that there are people who will argue that bullying makes you stronger rabble rabble. I don't think that's true - how can anyone argue for a 'bullying school of hard knocks' to make you into a stronger person - fúck that, I'd prefer to have a childhood free of fear and intimidation. I don't know what kind of person I would be like if I wasn't bullied, but I know that I strive in my daily life to never offend anyone and yes this is the result of knowing how it feels to be humiliated and mortified in front of loads of people. However was becoming the person I am today worth the bullying I received in school? Definitely not.

I hope that's cool to quote from another forum

Anyone care to share?

MitchKoobski · 21-07-2011 12:49am

Was bullied a small bit, but only up as far as JC. Made a few more friends then, and any lads who used to bully became mates to see 'em.

Got mugged when I was younger if that counts. Still see yer man around town and everytime I see him I wanna bounce his head off the wall a few times. The lads know to keep me moving whenever we see him
Other than that, I'm quite docile.

Sure as hell didn't make me any 'stronger' or 'thick skinned' anyway. I could do without wanting to cave someones head in everytime I see them.

py2006 · 21-07-2011 10:25am

I experienced a bit of bullying in school. Mainly in secondary school post Junior Cert. It wasn't physical bullying but just teasing and taking the piss. I was quiet and well spoken and went from a middle class primary school into a rough inner city school which didn't help me.

I believe it did have a profound affect on my confidence and certainly my performance academically at the time. If you didn't talk like a skanger or if you did well in school you were "gay". :rolleyes:

I have even experienced bullying in the work place to certain extent but I have grown to believe that I am partially to blame. If you are too laid back you can become a bit of a door-mat and certain people react to that.

I wouldn't seek revenge on school bullies because they were kids at the time but I certainly would like to have a few strong words with a few ex-colleagues of mine!

Logical Fallacy · 21-07-2011 11:46am

I was bullied pretty horrifically when i was younger.

It has probably affected me as an adult by manifesting as a stout refusal to take **** off anyone, ever.

El_Drago · 21-07-2011 11:50am

I was mentally bullied during my first year at secondary school.Although I don't have regrets about many things,I regret not bouncing his head off the wall a few times as I was much bigger than him.I don't know why I didn't,probably because I was seriously lacking confidence and I've always hated confrontation.

I don't think it has had any lasting effect on me.However,although most who know me would consider me a fairly confident person,I go through phases of social anxiety.Whether that's related to the torment that I went through I don't know.

LegacyUser · 21-07-2011 12:07pm

Going unreg for this

This has been on my mind recently, bullying in school has had a major affect on my adult life. I was bullied from about 3rd class in primary school right up until the end of college. Maybe it was because I was overweight, or shy, or had glasses, or had nerdy interests, or didn't like sport, or did well enough in class, or didn't cause teachers any trouble, but for whatever reason I was an easy target.

There was a little bit of physical abuse but it was mainly mental abuse, calling me names, staying stuff about me, mocking me, every single day, in school, at break, on the school bus, hell on earth. I genuinely believe I've blocked a lot of it out but I remember being swung around by the arm, slapped in the face, threatened that I was going to have a banger thrown at me (I hate Halloween), being called gay and having dirty sexual jokes made about me and my brother and cousins (turns out I am gay - that didn't help), people making fun of the way I pronounced certain words, everyone in the class voting me as class rep because they knew I didn't want to be, stealing my drink from my bag (until I put salt in it one day

), being tricked into wearing in my casual clothes on a fake "non-uniform" day, a guy sitting behind me in leaving cert year *rolleyes* constantly pushing his desk forward so it would dig into my back, etc. etc.

My brother and his friends were (and still are) my best friends in school, and they got bullied a lot too, but they were a year ahead so I was all alone in my class. There was even a teacher who used to single people out and mock them if they answered a question wrong. I used to dread his classes because I got so nervous I was bound to make a mistake, and ended up being humiliated by him in front of all my bullies.

Looking back I am so furious at how I was treated, why I didn't fight back, say anything to them, tell someone, but I was so shy, so innocent and so naive, I just didn't understand why people were being so cruel and always thought it would stop. Now that I'm older I have a hard time trusting people or opening up, have serious social anxiety issues which are affecting my work (can't make phone calls, too afraid to speak up in meetings) and am very wary of other peoples intentions. It caused issues coming out as gay and with making new friends in college. Despite what people say, being bullied didn't make me stronger, just made my weaknesses worse and shattered my self confidence.

At least now I have a great, understanding OH, still have my best friends from school and was recently referred to a therapist so I'm determined that bullying isn't going to rule the rest of my life.

Will · 21-07-2011 12:16pm

Fairly hefty bullying went on from primary school to 3rd year in secondary school. Both psychological and physical. Guy in primary used to bully me because I'd get work done quicker than him, tried to get it sorted but was let down by the school and some teachers. The dude also had an older brother and turned the older classes against me. Was labelled a "rat" for a long time. Secondary I just had the misfortune of sitting beside the biggest scumbag in the year on the first day.

The effects it has had on me? If I see someone getting harassed or bullied I will be right over like a flash standing up for them. It's down to the fact that no one ever helped me when I was in need and felt very alone. Don't want others to go through the same thing I did and feel they've no one on their side.

Nothing really phases me I suppose due to the torture I went through as a young kid / teen. I'd be quite moral as a result also as I don't ever want to be like those who put me through the stress I was under.

Obviously I'd rather have not went through it but we can't change the past

There were moments in my life where I'd be anxious and afraid of meeting new people and for a long while I let people walk all over me. Only because I wanted them to like me and not be mean. Learned the hard way though ha ha.

I think it's down to the individual and their personality how they cope with it. For me I wouldn't like to say it made me a better person as it was such a negative and traumatising experience. However, it has ultimately shaped me whether I like it or not.

RedXIV · 21-07-2011 12:22pm

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I was bullied pretty horrifically when i was younger.

It has probably affected me as an adult by manifesting as a stout refusal to take **** off anyone, ever.

This. While I probably didn't recieve it as bad, I remember when I moved schools at 10 and moving to a school was terrible. Got bullied for a few years and labelled a gay for a few more. Was the combination of a growth spurt, taking up martial arts and a few fights that ended it.

Like Logical Fallacy, I've reached a stage where I don't accept that crap from anyone now and hasten to stamp bullying out if I see it

py2006 · 21-07-2011 12:36pm

Will wrote: »

There were moments in my life where I'd be anxious and afraid of meeting new people and for a long while I let people walk all over me. Only because I wanted them to like me and not be mean. Learned the hard way though ha ha.

I can relate to this. Now, in my 30's I still from time to time let people walk all over me but I do try to recognise it as it happens now and put a stop to it.

What was happening most of my life was that I didn't realise I was being walked all over till later and I would be angry with myself.

Will · 21-07-2011 12:45pm

py2006 wrote: »

I can relate to this. Now, in my 30's I still from time to time let people walk all over me but I do try to recognise it as it happens now and put a stop to it.

What was happening most of my life was that I didn't realise I was being walked all over till later and I would be angry with myself.

I realised people will like me, for me. Good and bad. Just a learning experience. Having people being horrible to you is quite upsetting, so going out of your way to be nice to prevent previous episodes is natural. A learned behaviour maybe?

LightningBolt · 21-07-2011 12:52pm

I was bullied quite a bit when I was 4-7 because I had quite a bad speech impediment as a result of being pretty deaf until the age of three and it was a long learning process for me to be able to speak properly. Parents took me out of first school in senior infants to give me a fresh start and I haven't looked back. I can definitely say it did effect me up to my early teens as I still tended to be quite shy and have very little self confidence. Once I hit 14/15 I think it was safe to say it's had no affect on me since.

py2006 · 21-07-2011 1:02pm

Will wrote: »

I realised people will like me, for me. Good and bad. Just a learning experience. Having people being horrible to you is quite upsetting, so going out of your way to be nice to prevent previous episodes is natural. A learned behaviour maybe?

I can never understand why people will be horrible to me. It was something I found very difficult adjusting to as I became an adult. I had fantastic parents so as a kid/teenager I thought all adults were the same. How wrong I was!

I would consider myself a nice easy going guy and I get on with most so it really takes me aback when somebody is deliberately nasty or lies about me etc.

KyussBishop · 21-07-2011 8:34pm

Ya I got crap from people in secondary school (mainly verbal/emotional); it wasn't all that bad by itself, but I had existing social anxiety issues since primary school, and that made it pretty unbearable at times (not just the bullying, but literally just being around people).

Due to the bullying, my anxiety (and accompanying problems) slowly worsened all through secondary school; that, along with bullying, meant I just stopped going eventually (that was 6th year coming up to leaving).

Managed to do my exams despite that, but the damage was done and I had no idea then what was wrong with me, why I was getting so unbearably uncomfortable around people; I was also too uncomfortable to talk to anyone about my problems.
The anxiety affected me to such a large extent, that for a long time after that, I never spoke to anyone outside of my immediately family (even being around family was uncomfortable), and never left the house (went on like that for about 3 years).

I'm over the anxiety issues now, but still have some leftover 'baggage' from it all, mainly rusty social skills, and lack of a proper social life. I'm working on it all and doing far far better now though; very glad all that is over now.

Troxck · 21-07-2011 8:49pm

KyussBishop wrote: »

Ya I got crap from people in secondary school (mainly verbal/emotional); it wasn't all that bad by itself, but I had existing social anxiety issues since primary school, and that made it pretty unbearable at times (not just the bullying, but literally just being around people).

Due to the bullying, my anxiety (and accompanying problems) slowly worsened all through secondary school; that, along with bullying, meant I just stopped going eventually (that was 6th year coming up to leaving).

Managed to do my exams despite that, but the damage was done and I had no idea then what was wrong with me, why I was getting so unbearably uncomfortable around people; I was also too uncomfortable to talk to anyone about my problems.
The anxiety affected me to such a large extent, that for a long time after that, I never spoke to anyone outside of my immediately family (even being around family was uncomfortable), and never left the house (went on like that for about 3 years).

I'm over the anxiety issues now, but still have some leftover 'baggage' from it all, mainly rusty social skills, and lack of a proper social life. I'm working on it all and doing far far better now though; very glad all that is over now.

This sounds like me, I'm 15 and I'm not really bullied but pretty much mocked daily in school. I have a speech impediment where I can't really sat my "R's" and my "SH" sound properly. I dread having to read a section of a book to the class and if I have to read something to the board I pretend not being able to see it. I kind of got over this but I'm really sick of it. I went three months without talking in ANY of my classes. That included putting up my hand. I get called the usual "gay" for keeping on music and not playing sports. Kind of pathetic but how do I get over it for 3rd year? I really am annoyed of these **** in my school! >_<

Gloomtastic! · 21-07-2011 8:59pm

Coming from the other side, I treated a couple of people pretty bad in secondary school - one an awful geeky fat ginger who hogged the computer at school.

The other was a girl who thought she was it. She went through all my mates and when it was my turn I decided instead to reject her - big time. She was turned into social pariah no. 1.

Looking back I feel pretty bad how I behaved. I'm sure the affect on both victims was pretty devastating.

As part of my business I now visit Primary Schools and discuss bullying with the kids - not just the victims but also the bullies as well - treat people how you would like to be treated!

Logical Fallacy · 21-07-2011 9:21pm

Troxck wrote: »

This sounds like me, I'm 15 and I'm not really bullied but pretty much mocked daily in school. I have a speech impediment where I can't really sat my "R's" and my "SH" sound properly. I dread having to read a section of a book to the class and if I have to read something to the board I pretend not being able to see it. I kind of got over this but I'm really sick of it. I went three months without talking in ANY of my classes. That included putting up my hand. I get called the usual "gay" for keeping on music and not playing sports. Kind of pathetic but how do I get over it for 3rd year? I really am annoyed of these **** in my school! >_<

Sorry to hear about that man, i had exactly the same thing when I was younger...i was not able to pronounce my R's....they always came out as W's.

Lads in school would always make me try and say stuff like "Brown bread and rabbit stew" and retarded **** like that. Eventually i lost the plot on day and lamped a chap in the teeth with a soccer boot.

I'd love to say it solved everything but it really didn't...**** just got worse. As such, i'd advise you to keep your cool.

Speech Therapy eventually sorted out my enunciation problems though, but by then it had been established for too long and the bullying continued. I'd always end up in scraps and fighting people but never got any relief. I think it made me feel better at the time, a little, but man the ****storms that used to come with it.

It's probably not what you want to hear but keep the head down and (despite the biological contradiction) your chin up.

For me things took a bit of a turn in secondary school, despite some of the lads i went to primary school with going there as well. I eventually figured my best course of action was just to try and be funny. People would be giving me **** and i'd just mock them back in a cheeky enough manner, getting laughs out of the rest of the people in my class and kind of turning the tide a little bit and just kind of showing them they couldn't get to me as much as they hoped and i was clever enough to get them worse if they wanted it. That kind of worked.

Any chance you could maybe get some Speech Therapy? It really did solve the impediment for me.

Raze_them_all · 21-07-2011 9:26pm

Got fairly beat up from second class to 6th class, moved to a all boys school in a new county also smashed my nose up, so new accent + ****ed up nose= target.

It stopped in 1st year when i went from tiny and skinny to bigger than most the people who bullied me. Was in 7 fights from 1st-3rd year after that nobody touched me. (I'd like to point out all fights were engaged after the other person punched first/drew first blood)

I regularly play footie/rugby/drink with people who bullied me. I let it go a long time ago. It was just kids being kids, little **** kids but kids none the less

KyussBishop · 21-07-2011 9:36pm

Troxck wrote: »

This sounds like me, I'm 15 and I'm not really bullied but pretty much mocked daily in school. I have a speech impediment where I can't really sat my "R's" and my "SH" sound properly. I dread having to read a section of a book to the class and if I have to read something to the board I pretend not being able to see it. I kind of got over this but I'm really sick of it. I went three months without talking in ANY of my classes. That included putting up my hand. I get called the usual "gay" for keeping on music and not playing sports. Kind of pathetic but how do I get over it for 3rd year? I really am annoyed of these **** in my school! >_<

Ya that sucks; worse with people giving crap for a speech impediment which you can't help.

It's the kind of thing that works slowly, eroding confidence/self-esteem over time; my mistake was never talking to anyone about it, so ya if it stays bad I'd recommend talking to someone at the school, maybe a teacher you feel comfortable with.

If you still find yourself getting increasingly uncomfortable speaking, or around people, definitely talk to a counselor or something about that (inside or outside of school); not worth letting that develop into a separate bigger problem!

5live · 21-07-2011 10:03pm

Troxck wrote: »

This sounds like me, I'm 15 and I'm not really bullied but pretty much mocked daily in school. I have a speech impediment where I can't really sat my "R's" and my "SH" sound properly. I dread having to read a section of a book to the class and if I have to read something to the board I pretend not being able to see it. I kind of got over this but I'm really sick of it. I went three months without talking in ANY of my classes. That included putting up my hand. I get called the usual "gay" for keeping on music and not playing sports. Kind of pathetic but how do I get over it for 3rd year? I really am annoyed of these **** in my school! >_<

I know where you are coming from dude. I had a stop in my speech with certain words where i would be reading ok and then a certain combination of letters would come and i would just stop dead and have to take a deep deep breath to say the word on its own before continuing. The teacher was brilliant as she didnt ask me to read much but i was ok once i could read it a few times before hand.
And because i was fat i was an obvious target after class. It was never physical though 'just' name calling:mad:. It went on all through secondary school but i was lucky i had a small gang of close friends so we supported each other. Once i went to college i had lost the weight and people accepted me for who i was rather than what i was.

I also discovered soccer (being from a GAA family in the hearth of GAAland) and played at a very good level which helped the weight loss. And best of all i would regularly meet the bullies in matches and earned my nickname 'hatchet' from the tackles i could put in totally legally and with extreme prejudice. Once i saw they were just trying to bring me down to their level i just ignored them after(until the next match;)).

As a previous poster has said, i hate seeing anybody being picked on now and go out of my way to stop it. Especially my own kids, who dont understand why i am so adamant about stopping bullying. The effects do last a life time but you can try to turn them into positives.

Look, if it helps post on this thread, as you can see many more have suffered with these witless idiots if you need to vent a bit of steam(if that is ok with the mods)

Snowie · 21-07-2011 10:05pm

Yes it has in a positive way

had a pretty tough time in school secondary school and early to middle adult hood these days I wouldnt say so to the point were i wouldnt go to school get out of the car... or get on a bus id just walk home... I did not want to be there ...

I think what bullying has taught me is that I can read people so so so well...
because of it facial expressions any one cornered of bye fore bigger people you know when a slaps coming... .. so yeah im gonna say in some ways its been a positive thing thast come from somthing very negitive.

I've done the hole theripy thing which helped a lot...

But I feel the most important the fact I chooose who I want in my life and who I dont.

I think other then that I speak my mind have no reservations about telling some one how it is...

I think bullying can well you gotta flip a coin resent a bunch of ****ing morons whos lives suck (thank you facebook ) or mine which is quite peacfull uncomplicated and no pressure from any one this is what i like:)

It happened i got over it theres way better things ahead of me and well you the way i see it ive got bigger challanges in my life

Like writing a thesis can i report a college for making me do this ?

:pac:

Why i see it is yesterdays history tomorows a mystory

beano345 · 22-07-2011 12:09am

i grew up on a fairly crap estate were bullying was the norm especially from the older generation,i remember getting a smoke put out on the back of my hand when i was about 5 and my father going absolutely mental over it, to make matters worse i was sent to school in town and was always the poor kid from the crap estate who could'nt afford nike air and all the latest clothes/toys/trends so got stick over that which was nearly worse than physical bullying.

things changed a bit when i hit secondary, i was heavily into punk rock and was seen as a bit of a loose cannon/unpredictable and in a weird way i was kinda respected for it.

did it effect me later in life?

i would say yes, in that im a more guarded person and stick up for the underdog, its funny because most of the people i hang around with have been bullied when they were younger.i still see some of the people i went to school with and their still the same spoilt,pretentious a**holes as they were back then

Kya1976 · 22-07-2011 7:54am

Up to the age of 15 I went to a failry rough school in Stockholm. My main problem was sexual harassment, it was more of less impossible to walk in to the classroom without getting your arse smacked etc.

Then I moved to the country(and went a much better school), and I can imagine the blokes in my new school thought I was slightly weird as I was always walking around covering my boobs with a notepad and being quite suspicious of them in general.

I agree with Logical Fallacy, now I wouldn't take any **** from anyone.

amacca · 22-07-2011 8:21am

went from a very nice rural primary school to a very big town secondary school where I was bullied incessantly until about a month or two into third year.....until I finally snapped and beat the living **** out of two of them and pulled some fairly violent surprise attacks on a couple of the peripheral characters

(wouldn't let parents tell principal/ teachers - my father understood - glad I didn't at the time and still proud of myself for dealing with it on my own)

lasting effects

1) It does damage you.....you tend not to trust people readily and generally have a low opinion of your species when you know what they are capable of + in my case has more of an effect on me than I first thought - When I see some of these people that bullied me in school I smile/ act normal but I don't forget.

2) definitely contributes to low self esteem / lack of confidence and has long lasting effects in those areas but dealing with it yourself (if thats possible helps hugely)

3) Hate bullies and have a hair trigger when it comes to being intimidated now (all forms).......if you fcuk with me and I believe I don't deserve it I will get even no matter how long it takes (or what it costs) - I wont take you on if your in a group but I will get you. I wont fight use physical measures at all if its not appropriate or I stand to lose much more than I would gain.

4) Nobody has intimidated or fcuked me over in a very long time (at least that I know of) ....I believe that's because of the attitude in point 3 above - I believe people can sense when you are much more trouble than you are worth - the above attitude is the equivalent of the markings on a wasp in a sense

5) I also developed a good instinct for avoiding trouble before it starts and living to fight another day if the odds are not favourable + I learned to plan and always target the leader (when hes weak) and open up everthing you've got on him - make it extravagant and if you're successful you never need to worry too much about the rest of them ever again....just a couple of other minor victories and its all sorted.

6) the bizarre-est thing from my point of view about the whole experience was one of the bullies I gave the worst beating to practically fawned over me for years afterwards (no joking - almost hero worship - after me beating the crap out of him in front of the entire class) disliked him more after this.......would have had some respect for him if he continued to dislike me ...... but if youre capable/want to be friends with someone why torture them physically and mentally for two years.....what sort of leader of the pack bull**** mentality is that for a supposedly intelligent human being?

not sure how I would handle being bullied nowadays with things like facebook/bebo etc being used and large gangs of kids picking a target not to mention the fact that if I tried what I tried in the past nowadays I could run the risk of being stabbed etc (in certain schools)

harr · 22-07-2011 8:33am

I got bullied from 2nd to 6th class,i was all ways a small lad and not very into soccer or any sports which was looked on as kind of weird ,all-ways the last to get picked and the likes of that,went to secondary school and i taught to my self new start and the likes so actuality turned into a bit of bully myself,there was all ways a group of lads who came from better class family's and i had it in my head they were looking down there noses at me and talking behind my back so i would bully them every chance i got,would all ways go for the biggest of them just to try and prove i was hard in some way.
I am ashamed to this day over what i did and have since apologised to the lads i bullied and they were very forgiving which made it worse in a way,i still talk and have a few pints with them every couple of months.
But to this day if i think any one is trying to take the piss or get one up on me i can get very confrontational and i think the bulling had that effect on me

Handsome Bob · 22-07-2011 9:14am

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I was bullied pretty horrifically when i was younger.

It has probably affected me as an adult by manifesting as a stout refusal to take **** off anyone, ever.

I have a similar mentality, I don't take criticism well.

I wouldn't say I was bullied, no-one ever physically touched me anyway. I was well liked in Secondary School among the lads as well so I was lucky there as well.

Got an awful lot of abuse from the opposite sex though, even from "friends" who didn't realise how much their words hurt. And yup, it still affects me.

Sonics2k · 22-07-2011 10:48am

Only when I moved over to Ireland at about the age of 8.

Moving from Sheffield, to Knocknaheeny here in Cork didn't go well for me at all.

Before then I'd never really encountered people hating others due to where they were from, in this case the fact I had an English accent was enough to get my head pounded in on a daily basis (i think I still have the scars on the back of my head actually), and on top of that my own parents are gay, which wasn't the cause of much bullying, more remarks and comments about not having a father.

Even in secondary school I got it quite a lot, mental and physical, but frankly I probably deserved a lot of it, and gave as good as I got.
I was a sarcastic, evil, wind-up merchant who was shagging half the girls in my year, so often their boyfriends would get pissed at me and want revenge, it was one big circle really

I don't think bullying had a huge affect on me, even as a small child I didn't care much what others thought or said, and I still don't.

If someone wanted to call me a cóck smoking ******, I did't care, because their opinion means sweet sod all to me, and it shouldn't to anyone else.

edit: apologies for the grammar, hard to type with my two year old son beating me with a power ranger :P

Troxck · 22-07-2011 1:35pm

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Sorry to hear about that man, i had exactly the same thing when I was younger...i was not able to pronounce my R's....they always came out as W's.

Lads in school would always make me try and say stuff like "Brown bread and rabbit stew" and retarded **** like that. Eventually i lost the plot on day and lamped a chap in the teeth with a soccer boot. I'd love to say it solved everything but it really didn't...**** just got worse. As such, i'd advise you to keep your cool.

Speech Therapy eventually sorted out my enunciation problems though, but by then it had been established for too long and the bullying continued. I'd always end up in scraps and fighting people but never got any relief. I think it made me feel better at the time, a little, but man the ****storms that used to come with it.

It's probably not what you want to hear but keep the head down and (despite the biological contradiction) your chin up.

For me things took a bit of a turn in secondary school, despite some of the lads i went to primary school with going there as well. I eventually figured my best course of action was just to try and be funny. People would be giving me **** and i'd just mock them back in a cheeky enough manner, getting laughs out of the rest of the people in my class and kind of turning the tide a little bit and just kind of showing them they couldn't get to me as much as they hoped and i was clever enough to get them worse if they wanted it. That kind of worked.

Any chance you could maybe get some Speech Therapy? It really did solve the impediment for me.

I had speech therapy when I was younger but it didn't help much. Umm, my friends say I can be kinda funny and I'm good with witty replies and all but when the people are a few inches taller, play sports and you're skinny and small I think you should really just back down. I'm getting over it but in first year I went through a rough patch, cried for no reason etc. Not telling a teacher. Be leaving the school in a few years and won't consider looking back. My Father went to the same school and said that because it was a sports school, (Made you drop another sport if you showed any skill in Hurling) that anyone who played Hurling didn't do as well in later years. Thanks to all of ye for the replies anyway. I have friends in my year and the year above so I'm not really a loner but when you're in your base class of 30 and have one friend, it's not fun...

Troxck · 22-07-2011 1:37pm

Also, I'm not into fighting but more sarcastic answers that leaves the people stunned. I was born in England and have a English accent so they put on an incredible English accent in class and one of the Teachers even laughed. FFS, sorry, just ranting. At least I can see you are all grand. To the people who said they talk to their bullies, I don't even talk to people from my school IN school.

LegacyUser · 22-07-2011 2:14pm

Yes, I was bullied, yes it affected me.

I don't do well with criticism. I either back into a corner hoping no-one will notice me if I've messed up or if it's with the group of friends I've had for the past 17 years I'll slag myself off, with a level of self deprecation that they wouldn't go near.
Fortunately, they know the background, and make sure that if there is slagging that it stays at a level where we are all taking lumps out of each other!!

I was 16 when the bullying started, I was a successful student, successful at sports, and hung around with the 'trendy' crowd, that bunch of people in your school that everyone likes, not too nerdy but smart, not too (robbing an americanism here) 'Jock' but good at sports, the group that while they were not the centre of attention, cos the hardcore rockers might be beating 7 shades out of the hardcore ravers, but the group that both rockers and ravers chatted to on friendly terms. Going into 3rd year a new lad had come to the school and joined in with our group. For whatever reason he took a dislike to me and started what i can only describe as a campaign to turn my friends against me, friends who i had known for 7 years at that stage. In 5th year it came to a stage where i was totally ostracised by the entire 60+ people in my year. My so called best friend called me to his house one day to tell me that if he wanted to keep his friendship with the rest of the group that we hung around with (6 lads) that i couldn't be his friend anymore. This was in November of 5th year.

I ended up repeating 5th year (I joke with the lads I'm friendly with now that i instigated the 4th year program in our old school) and got in with a group of lads who I have been friendly with since then. Was best man/groomsman at their weddings etc.

But I have to say that what i went through still affects me today. I'm single, find it incredibly difficult to trust people, and in an environment outside my comfort zone you'll find me propping up a wall in the farthest corner from the bright lights and centres of attention.

I did get revenge of a kind though.

As the years have gone by and I changed from a school going kid to a professional worker bee to a worker bee supervisor to a management type bee I never forgave or forgot that core group group of people who turned me into a social pariah.
So imagine my delight a number of years ago when we were interviewing people for positions at work when one of them turned up. The look on their face when they realised it was me was priceless to say the least. Recently I came across another one one night when i was out for a few pints. He started telling me how hard he was finding it on the dole etc. Really enjoyed telling him about my new car. Karma is a bitch, but I love her!

Sonics2k · 22-07-2011 7:41pm

Anonymous for this post wrote: »

I did get revenge of a kind though.

As the years have gone by and I changed from a school going kid to a professional worker bee to a worker bee supervisor to a management type bee I never forgave or forgot that core group group of people who turned me into a social pariah.
So imagine my delight a number of years ago when we were interviewing people for positions at work when one of them turned up. The look on their face when they realised it was me was priceless to say the least. Recently I came across another one one night when i was out for a few pints. He started telling me how hard he was finding it on the dole etc. Really enjoyed telling him about my new car. Karma is a bitch, but I love her!

Revenge is always sweet!

I still have fond memories of when I got revenge on one person in particular, who had forced me to leave the school I was in during the final months of 6th year. He had spread a rumour I was planning a shooting spree, and this was when Columbine was still fresh in the minds of people.

Anyway, several years I was driving through Cork with my absolutely stunning girlfriend at the time, on my shiny new Suzuki Marauder.

We pull over on the side of the road to stop into the shop, pick up some drinks for the night and what not, and who do we see, but the infamous person who made my life hell for so long, slumped semi-unconscious on the street, with a begging up, practically pleading people for some cash.
We walked into the shop, I picked up our stuff and walked back outside, and handed him a bag full of food, groceries and water, and a 20euro note.

To this day I'm not 100% sure if he knew it was me, but the feeling of pure satisfaction was overwhelming!

helimachoptor · 22-07-2011 7:48pm

In primary school a lad who was held back tried to bully me, mainly he kept stealing my drink from my bag, I knew it was him but couldn't prove it, one day I seen my bottle under the table and so I got under to get it. As I was getting out he dropped my school bag on my head. So I picked up the school chair by the back legs and smashed him in the face with the back support. Never had an issue with my drink again. I've never had any issues sinc then.

Bullying, has it affected you now as an adult?

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